How To Find Yourself A Good Boyfriend Who's A Keeper

We all want to find our soulmate or the perfect boyfriend. Anyone who's been on even just a couple of dates, however, will know how hard it can be to find someone you want to spend an evening with, let alone a whole lifetime. So, how do you even find a good boyfriend?

You've probably already seen how much advice there is on how to find the perfect boyfriend and fast. They all give you a bunch of rules for success. That's great, but to find a keeper, you have to get to the core of the matter. First ask yourself this: why do you want a boyfriend? Do you find being alone sucks? Do you want a boyfriend as a status symbol? These aren't good reasons for wanting to be with someone long term. Sure, you can get a date and have fun, but these are not good ways to find a keeper.

Here's the bottom line: you come first. Start looking within yourself and find happiness inside. If you're shy, don't beat yourself up about it. It's all good; there's plenty of shy guys out there. Whether you're at high school or you are an adult, don't let peer pressure make you feel less awesome than you are.

The world will always tell you how to think. This is especially true for women: magazines, TV and movies all tell you what to believe and how act. They make women hyperconscious of their body types and their personal choices. This, sadly, is true whether you're in high school or are a high-powered CEO. This is all phony. I know it's almost impossible, but do your best to ignore it. Instead, focus on what makes you happy. Spend time with your friends. Go dancing, travel or do yoga. If you're shy, that's okay too, read a book or do whatever makes you happy. Find your inner contentment and joy.

When you feel confident and happy — it's contagious​. It's magnetic. Without even realizing it, you'll have started attracting good boyfriend material. Sure, there are some days when you won't feel amazing. That's okay. Remember to focus on yourself. Finding a boyfriend is secondary to your happiness. It will happen, but you will only find a keeper when you're content with yourself.

​When you start dating, it's almost like a job interview. Except that you're both interviewing each other. Sure, we all want to make a good impression on a potential boyfriend, but remember to be yourself. Dress the way you want to dress, in the clothes you want to wear. At the end of the day, it is you as a person he will be spending his life with, if he can't handle that, then he is not the right man for you.

Remember, your potential boyfriend will be putting on just as much of a show as you. Pay attention to the clues that will let you know about his real self. What's his body language like? Is he cold or distant? Is he too touchy-feely? Also, listen out for how he treats his friends and family. Is he kind? Does he treat them with respect? These clues can be a fast way of finding out if he could be a great boyfriend.

To find a boyfriend fast, you're going to need to put yourself out there. Get out and meet people. Do things out of the ordinary. If you're shy, don't worry. Hang out at a coffee shop with your girlfriend, or take a book. You'll be amazed at what a conversation-starter an old-fashioned book can be. If you're at high school, go to school events. This can all be pretty daunting, I know. It can also be hard to figure out fast who might be boyfriend material. Don't let that worry you. You are a confident and amazing woman; you are simply out in the world enjoying yourself. If a nice guy comes along, so much the better. If not, don't sweat it.

Finding a boyfriend who is a keeper is going to take time. You are going to meet a lot of guys. Some may be great people who could make decent boyfriends, while others just won't work out. Don't lose heart. Remember that dating is a trial run to see if things will work out in the long term. Most dates don't lead anywhere, and that's okay. Stay happy and positive in yourself. Remember that your happiness and well-being is what this is all about. Keep doing the things you enjoy. It is easier to find someone — and much easier to build a healthy, lasting relationship — if you are confident about yourself, your abilities and you enjoy life.

Say you've now met a potential boyfriend. You've been on a date or two. Don't do anything you don't want to do or don't feel ready to do. If he's a keeper, he's going to be respectful and not pushy. On a related note, don't go places or do things you don't feel completely safe doing. If you're going somewhere new or you'll be with someone new, let a friend know where you'll be. You can even send your location from your phone, so your friend will know exactly where you are.

So, you've met this guy, and it seems like you may have found a boyfriend. Great! Take a step back and think about the big picture. Did you find yourself a keeper? Is this someone you can see yourself staying with for a long time? Are you still able to be yourself and do the things you love doing with him around? Does he compliment your life, and you his? If you're in high school, is he going to get in the way of you achieving your grades? If you're a businesswoman, is he going to hold you back from succeeding? If not, you're one step closer to having a boyfriend who is a keeper.

At the start, every relationship seems fantastic. Bear in mind that every relationship is about compromise. Yes, that can mean going for Italian food when you'd rather have had Korean. On the bigger scale, however, compromise in a relationship is about working with the other person to bring out the best in each of you. The question to ask is this: is your boyfriend someone you can compromise with? Is your boyfriend someone who is going to be able to help you find the best version of yourself? This works both ways: are you also a good fit for your boyfriend?

Think about your boyfriend for a moment. Does he have a habit that bugs you? Is it how he dresses or how he treats people? Does he have a different outlook on life from you? Don't go into a relationship thinking your boyfriend is a "fixer-upper," it won't work. By and large, people don't change. If you try to make him change, you'll just push him away, and he'll feel resentful. Do you both roughly have the same outlook on life? I don't mean do you both vote Democratic or Republican? It's more about the values you both share. Are you both motivated by roughly the same things? Do you both have (or want) steady jobs? Do you both like to travel? Do you both want (or not want) a family? You'll never find someone who completely matches your outlook on life, and that's good. Differences in a relationship can lead to you both growing. That said, you don't want your values to be too far apart. If you want a nice house in the country while he just wants to hang with his friends a drink, that's a problem. Here's the bottom line: if something bugs you now, it'll bug you even more in six months time. If you have met a guy you just don't click with, then he's not a keeper.

Maybe you found him this time, or maybe you didn't. Either way, it's okay. Sooner or later you'll find Mr. Right. If something's not working out, remember that you can walk away at any time. Keep your eyes focused on the big picture. Is this guy someone you can see yourself spending a long time with, like the rest of your life? If you're not absolutely certain — and you'll know in your heart if you listen to it — then walk away. Stay happy in yourself, and you'll find a great guy sooner or later.

Make sure your boyfriend gets to know your friends (and later, your family). They can give you great perspectives on your choices. When we start out a relationship, we tend to look at the world with rose-tinted spectacles. Our friends can see it like it is. Talk to your most trusted girlfriend. If she says he's not for you, hear her out. Don't get upset at her — it's never easy for friends to give bad news. Remember that she's trying to look out for you. Take some time to think about what she said and why.

It can take time to find a great boyfriend. It can feel frustrating at the time, and that's understandable. There aren't really any shortcuts to finding true love. Take your time and enjoy the journey. Remember that it's about you. You need to focus on yourself and your own inner happiness. Stay connected with your friends and family. When you do these things, everything else will fall into place. Want to learn more about finding a boyfriend who's a keeper? Check out: