How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend Without Hurting Her

Break up is rarely a good news but sometimes it is unavoidable. So, how do you convey such to your girlfriend without hurting her? check out this piece.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend Without Hurting Her

To Break Up Is Never Easy

No matter how genuine your reason for wanting to break up with your girlfriend might be, you are likely not going to find breaking such a heart-breaking news to her easy. Perhaps you should imagine yourself being the recipient of such a message; how would you feel if she is the one wanting to break up with you? You'd agree it won't be funny at all. That's the same way your girlfriend is also likely going to feel if not worse. The difficulty in telling your girlfriend that you want to break up with her lies in two uncertainties; first, uncertainty as to how to present the matter; and second, uncertainty on how she would welcome it. If you are not shrewd in your approach, being a girl, she might deeply hurt herself if she finds the reality of the break up too painful to grasp. You can equally become a life enemy as it were to her if the wrong approach is employed for the break-up. You see, a relationship is like a glue binding two people together. It's hard to separate things glued together without some form or the other of hurt. Although this piece is titled "How to Break Up With Your Girlfriend Without Hurting Her," the reality is that you cannot really break up with a girlfriend that has once loved you and probably still does without hurting her. You can only help in reducing the hurt and also make sure she recovers quickly after the break-up. That said, when it comes to a love relationship, the fact that a decision can bring pain does not mean it should be avoided. Rather than put up with a relationship that would only bring regret, sorrows, and frustration at a later time, it's better to break up from such. However, this piece puts forward a model for a modest break up that would not hurt your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend much. Read on to find out.

Here's How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend

If you are ready, here is a model you can follow to nicely break up with your girlfriend without hurting her much. Each step leads to the other and should, therefore, be adhered to chronologically. Here is it.

1. Be Convinced Of The Reason You Want A Break-Up

We hardly do anything in life without having our reasons for doing them, not even a break-up. If you must break up with your girlfriend, you have to have reasons for doing so. Those reasons you want to break up may not be genuine to observers around you but must be genuine to you. They must be well itemized and you must be sure they are things you cannot cope with in any way. As a guide, you may have to get a diary for yourself to write down those reasons you want to break up with your girlfriend. Again, never mind how silly those reasons might appear to be; just put them down. Is she cheating on you or you just don't love her anymore? Write down the reasons. You know why this is necessary? It's because you may never be able to proceed effectively with the break up if you are not personally convinced of the need for it. You would find it hard to justify your action before her which would definitely increase her sorrow. Of course, you can expect your girlfriend to meet you with the "why?" especially if she least expects a break up from you. If you don't have a ready answer and convinced about it, you are going to be breaking her heart the more.

2. Fix A Date With Your Girlfriend

Now that you are through with yourself, it's time to make a move to let her know your thought. This is where you need to be a man. When you wanted to ask her out, you probably fixed a date or met her in a place that only the two of you were there. You probably didn't ask her out over text (even though it may not be a bad idea) and so, putting a stop to your love relationship as much as possible should not be done over text. Figure out a place you know both of you can meet and talk and inform her earlier that you would love to have a date with her there (this you can do over text). That arrangement is way better than you putting up a fight so you can come up with an excuse to break up with her. At least you once loved each other and for this, you have to do things appropriately.

3. Tell Her You Want To Break Up

When you have fixed a comfortable place for the two of you to meet, you have no choice than to tell your girlfriend you want to break up with her. No one is saying this is going to be easy but it is a step that has no substitute. It must come out of your mouth (not over text) that you want a break-up. However, because you don't want to hurt her much, you want to say those heart-breaking words as nicely as you can. The approach you can use here is to begin by appreciating her. Let your soon-to-be ex-girlfriend know how great she is and what impact she had made in your life. The truth is that even though you want to break up with her now, she definitely must have impacted you one way or the other. After appreciating her as nicely as you can, let your girlfriend know the crux of the matter; that is, you no longer feel the love as you once did. As much as you can, make her reason with you that continuing in the relationship cannot be beneficial to you both. You may even want to let her know how difficult it was for you to come to terms with yourself that you need to break up with her. State the fact as it is without adding sentiments. While talking, it's possible she starts showing emotions by crying or doing some other things; don't be deterred by any of such. Remember you have convinced yourself before leaving home that the relationship between you both must end. As such, so long as she is willing to listen, you must exhaust all of your points or reasons for wanting to break up with her.

4. Share The Blame

Whenever couples have to break up, it's usually not the fault of one partner alone; usually, the two are culpable one way or the other. Fine, your girlfriend (or should we say your ex-girlfriend?) might be everything you detest in a girlfriend but your fault would be why you approached her in the first place knowing that she is who she is? Among other faults, it means you are presumptuous, impulsive, and probably greedy. It's really hard to exonerate yourself from the whole thing. You probably won't have to break up with your girlfriend perhaps if at some points you had listened better or acted in a more sensitive manner. Whichever way you want to look at it, you have a hand in this break up if you would be sincere to yourself. So, to reduce the depression, anguish, and shame of your girlfriend, one way to do such would be for you to acknowledge your own faults that has led to this break up so your girlfriend doesn't think she's all a mess. An honest assessment like that would help heal her broken heart faster than ever.

5. Cut Off All Contacts With Her For A While

When you might have nicely presented the message, she is most likely going to be speechless for a while. If you haven't been showing her signs that such a thing was likely to happen, she might at first want to take it for a joke. You have to let her know it's not a joke by leaving the spot. Never try to console her at that point because she really cannot be consoled. The natural thing your ex-girlfriend would first feel for you is a high-level hatred. She is just going to detest you like a plague. The more she sees you, the more the hatred increases. As such, since your interest is not to hurt her emotionally more than what she is currently going through, you should stay far away from where she is for a while for the healing to take place. What's the point? the break up has to both be in words and by action. You cannot sincerely want to break up with your girlfriend while you still lurk around her; the message would not sink that way. She is not likely to take you seriously too. Cut off all communications and forbid yourself from sending her any text. That way, both parties know that the 'game' is indeed over.

6. You Can Be Friends Again

When you break up a relationship, it shouldn't be a break up from friendship; you both can be friends again. Yes, she might not be your girlfriend anymore but there are so many favors you both can do for yourself even after you break up with each other. When you sense that your ex-girlfriend has gotten over the shock, make attempt to reconnect with her again. Be concerned about her current life and discuss issues that have nothing to do with your former relationship with her. Be willing to render whatever help she may need that is in your power to render. Even if at first she refuses to pick your calls or give you an audience, be persistent until you are able to strike up a friendship with her again. That is a way you can win your ex-girlfriend to yourself not as a significant other now but a friend in a true sense.

Final Remarks

A lot of reasons can account for why you want to break up with your girlfriend. These reasons don't have to be genuine in everybody's eyes; she is your girlfriend and not 'everybody's' girlfriend so you know exactly why the two of you cannot continue the relationship. Be that as it may, you have to be civil in your approach. You can break up with your girlfriend and you both would still be friends later on. That, of course, would have to depend on how approach followed. The method proposed in this piece is sure to reduce your girlfriend's hurt even after you break up with her if you follow it.

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