What Does It Mean When A Guy Only Says I Love You Over Text

Different reasons why a guy only says I love you over text and really great advice about what to do next and how to figure him out.

By Annabel Crystal
What Does It Mean When A Guy Only Says I Love You Over Text

When a guy only says I love you over text its because he is being untruthful

When a guy only says, "I love you," over text, it could be because he is untruthful. There are many reasons why a guy only says, "I love you," over text but the number one reason is most likely because he is not truthful when he says it. Some guys will choose to lead you on and tease you, using phrases and affection that they know will entice you to stick around. If a man is not able to give you much of his time, he will give you affection over the phone so that you don’t leave him. I call this the “carrot” method or the crumb method. He leaves you crumbs so that you stick around. He gives you just enough attention to make sure you don’t leave, but not too much attention that he wastes his time. If he thinks too highly of his personal time, he may be very selfish of it, and he may think that the only way to keep you around is to tell you what he thinks you want to hear, even if it is every day.

Also, some narcissistic type men will ignore you more than you want, to only give you an overload of affection at one time. This is to reinforce their presence in your life & confuse and trick you into thinking they are all about you. It’s a mind game. They are mind tricking you into thinking that they are very busy, so busy with work and personal life, that they are unable to text you often. The truth is, they should be prioritizing you in their life, and canceling on events that keep the both of you together, but they are making you forget that. They are manipulating you into thinking you are inferior and that you should be subservient and overly expressive to keep them around. This is a power play. 

This type of man wants to be in full power and only have you in his arms for show. He will not be texting you every night with a "good morning," "goodnight," or "I miss you." This type of man will most likely be fearful of a strong, outspoken woman. This type of man can also make you feel sorry for questioning him; he will flip the script on you and possibly tell you that you are demanding, paranoid, or overly sensitive. This is a major red flag and a key play that these types of men use to manipulate you and make you feel less of yourself. In turn for your low self-esteem, you will stick around and cling to this man even more. This is exactly what he wants — he wants to manipulate you into dropping everything for him at all times and being available to him, aka a doormat. The best thing to do is to leave immediately and find someone else. Find someone that will not question you or make you feel guilty for spending time with you. Relationships are double sided; it takes commitment and time from both parties .It takes more than just "I love you" text messages.

Happiness means being close to the one you love, that’s all #seamelinen

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When a guy only says I love you over text, it could mean he is awkward and shy

When a guy only says, "I love you," over text, even if it is every day, it could mean he is awkward and shy. Some type B’s may not have the courage to always says, "I love you," in person. This could be a mix of respect, space, awkwardness, and shyness. Men are overall very simple, so if they aren’t saying it as much as you would expect there may not be a reason at all for their behavior. It may just mean that they are simple humans and are shy and don’t think they need to say it as often. He will not be texting you every night with "good morning," "goodnight," or "I miss you" for fear of scaring you away.

If a man is shy it may mean he has been hurt in the past and afraid of rejection or afraid of you moving on to someone else. His way of feeling more powerful could be to keep his feelings from you so that you don’t have the power to hurt him. Awkward and shy men are usually easy to spot, if your man is shy in other public situations, or you find him constantly questioning his actions and being empathetic — you actually have the right type of guy! If he is unsure of himself, you can prod him to be a better version of himself. Some men need hand-holding to feel more credible and courageous, it takes a strong woman to lead this type of man.

When a guy only says I love you over text, it could mean he is playing games

When a guy only says, "I love you," over text, even every day, it could mean he is playing games and is possibly hiding something. Some men only say "I love you" over text so that they can keep you interested and keep you around but not necessarily want to keep you around forever or extend the relationship long term. He may be hiding the fact that he has a girlfriend, or a wife, EEK!, and you may want to investigate it a bit. Protect yourself first, and do not continue a relationship with someone for too long unless you know a lot about them and they are transparent with you about everything. If they are standoffish and secretive, that is a huge red flag. Or if they only take your calls at certain hours, they might have a girl over and are ignoring you on purpose.

There are a lot of simple red flags you can take from your man. Ask yourself, does he text you often? Do you see him often? Do you see him on weekends? Have you met his friends? Does he talk about the future with you (not necessarily marriage, but near future)? Does he plan weekend getaways with you? Is he texting you every night with good morning, goodnight, or I miss you?

If you are answering no to any of these questions, he may be hiding something from you or is simply not taking you seriously. Not all men are looking for serious relationships. He may want you around as simply a dating partner, not necessarily a soul mate or long-term relationship.

Also, if you answer no to a lot of these questions, he could just not be that into you. Some men are wired for short-term, loveless relationships. Men can feel satisfied with a woman who is coming around just to keep him company short term. Women tend to get attached much quicker, so find out soon what your mans’ intentions are for your future. The best thing to do is leave if the relationship is not equal or includes compromise.

When a guy only says I love you over text, it could mean he is in a relationship with someone else

When a guy only says, "I love you," over text, it could mean he is in a relationship with someone else, and he is hiding something. Even if he texts you every day. Be very careful; you may even want to pull up a public report on your man if you suspect he is with another woman. Some men get bored in their relationships and use outside, less real, relationships to keep their lives exciting. Men are taught that they are more masculine if they have multiple partners. If your man is not necessarily married, you may want to find out through social media or some other outlet if they are in another relationship. Does he text you every night with "good morning," "goodnight," or "I miss you"?

The best thing to do in this case is to leave the relationship immediately. Do not waste your time. The harder women make for it for men to act this way, collectively, the better. Men can only treat you wrong if you let them.

When a guy only says I love you over text, it could mean he is too shy to say it in person

When a guy only says, "I love you," over text, it could mean he is too shy to say it in person. He may be indeed in love with you, so focus on the rare times when he does say it. Notice his body language, is he always facing you and not turning towards strangers walking around him? Is he not easily distracted by the women in the room around you? If he is very direct and intense during the rare event that he does say "I love you" in person, he may truly mean it. He may not value repeating the statement over and over. He may believe that saying I love you too much makes the statement less important if it is overused. He will not be texting you every night with "good morning," "goodnight," or "I miss you."

This type of man could also be shy. So consider other behaviors he exhibits, if he is shy in other situations as well, he could just be shy about love. The best thing to do in this situation is to try to openly communicate with him and ask him outright, just see what he says!

When a guy only says I love you over text, he could be a huge player!

Some men are players. In the sense that they are only keeping you around as a number, to keep themselves busy and on top of their game. Life is a huge game for men because they have it easy. Do you ever notice how most men walk around very calmly and casually? It’s because they don’t have the same societal pressures as women. When women walk, we walk with PURPOSE, because we have to fight to get to where we need to be. Fighting the patriarchy is exhausting. Men don’t have the same struggles, not to say they don’t struggle, but it’s not the same game. He could just have you around as another number. Some men will date up to 5 women at one time, so just interrogate him as much as possible to make sure you are not one of the five! He might be texting you every night with "good morning," "goodnight," or "I miss you" but doesn't necessarily mean it.

A better tactic to fight this type of man is to date multiple men yourself! It’s very unlike women to date multiple men at once. It is not as much in our DNA as men simply because it was the way we were raised. We were raised by society to be caregivers, nurturing, and empathetic, way more than men. Society has taught us that we should only persevere towards beauty and marriage as opposed to independent, strong lives. Being strong and independent for women is hard simply because society has raised us incorrectly.

When a guy only says I love you over text, he could just be keeping you on your toes

Some men hide the fact that they are huge teddy bears and don’t want their women to know it — even some Type A men! One great way to know if this is your type of man is to find out how his true self is, beneath all the layers. He could truly love you on the inside but fear of losing you. Most men are taught that expressing their emotions is not masculine and are afraid to show you for fear of appearing weak. Weakness is unattractive at times, so he may just want to not to lose you through being too forward. It is possible that your man is not aware that you love him very dearly, or that you wish you could hear him say it more often. Communication is a great way to let him know how you feel. Slowly ask him to open up to you in person — but not all at once! You definitely do not want to scare him off.

If your man is only saying I love you over text, and trying to keep you on your toes, he may be self-conscious and have low self-esteem. Does he text you every night with "good morning," "goodnight," or "I miss you"? He may have been hurt in the past and afraid of losing you by being overly emotional. Men hide their emotions to seem more masculine and in turn more attractive. Finding men vulnerable and weak can also be a turn-off, subconsciously, to women. So women also need to work towards leveling up and respecting men for being vulnerable and weak.

When a guy only says I love you over text, he could be testing you

When a guy only says, "I love you," over text, even if it is every day, he could be testing you. When a guy isn’t forward enough to go to you first, he may be testing you aka feeling you out. He may want to experiment your vibes, through your behavior, what you like and what you don’t like, through hanging out, not through communication. Men are not necessarily great at communication; they tend to look for cues to answer questions they have about you. They may give you glances and hope that you go up to them. Especially in modern times, when social media is stressing #metoo campaigns & #timesup campaigns. Men are confused how to act; they need us to show them the way. So we need to collectively step up and hold their hand and tell them what is acceptable and what isn’t.

When a guy only says I love you via text he could be unsure how you feel about him

When a guy only says, "I love you," via text, he could be unsure how you feel about him, even if he is texting you every day, and wants to see how you will respond via text first before he tries anything in person. Are you expressing to him how you feel about him in person as well? Or are you also just expressing yourself via text? At times it may be hard for both parties to express how they really feel in person. The best way to practice what you want to say is to write it down on paper, write down a list of things you want to say or talk about, and then recite it out loud in front of the mirror a few times. This sounds silly, but it works! This way you can even ask your man in person what he thinks about you and why he is only texting you via text. If his answers are not really answers and he either seems to dodge the question or not answer directly, maybe in circles, he could not be truly in love with you. Keep asking questions to get the truth out of him. If he is shy, he may need a little bit of prodding. But if you have done as much prodding as possible and he is still not giving you a direct answer, he may not be into you that much. The purpose of his texts may be to just keep you interested in him on a shallow level.

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