How Long Should You Wait to Contact An Ex?

Are you mulling over how long you should wait before you contact your ex? Here, we guide you to know the right time to contact your ex.

How Long Should You Wait to Contact An Ex?

Contents

  1. When It Is Okay To Contact Your Ex
  2. 1. When You Are No Longer In Love
  3. 2. Avoid Calling When Drunk
  4. 3. When You Are No Longer Jealous
  5. 4. Contact Your Ex When You Are Truly Happy For Them
  6. 5. If You Are Not Hoping To Get Back Together
  7. 6. Never Contact Your Ex Just To Gloat
  8. 7. Never Contact Your Ex If You Are Interested In Having Sex
  9. 8. Contact Your Ex If You Are Truly Concerned
  10. 9. Contact When Your Therapist Says It Is Fine
  11. 10. When You Are Ready To Accept That Your Ex Has Moved On
  12. 11. When You Have Forgiven Your Ex
  13. 12. When It Actually Feels Right
  14. Final Thoughts

When It Is Okay To Contact Your Ex

It is always advised in relationships to never contact your ex after a breakup. But it is not as bad as you think it is. After a breakup, you don't just lose a good partner but also a good friend if you parted on good terms. In relationships, after the final falling out, it gets hard to let go of someone who has been a part of your life for a long time. The ONE with whom you shared everything. So, it gets a little tough to part ways. If you are looking for ways to contact your ex then you need to know the right timing to contact them after a breakup. Your friends can give you a lot of suggestions and might give you a lot of advice on when to contact your ex but if you are still not convinced then read on. Here are few tips and tricks for you to know if you are ready and the timing is right to contact your ex.

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1. When You Are No Longer In Love

When you have made the decision to contact your ex, you must be sure that you no longer have any romantic interests towards your ex. This is very important as you might end getting hurt if you have such an interest. You must be over your partner completely and only then can you contact your ex. If you contact your ex-partner while still in love it will only lead to more and more trouble. If you want to get in contact with your ex then you must be a good friend with no strings attached. When you contact your ex while still having feelings you will end up falling in love with your ex all over again which is not a good sign. If you want to stay in touch with your ex then you must be sure that you are completely over him before getting in contact with your ex.

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2. Avoid Calling When Drunk

Calling your ex when you are drunk is the worst idea ever. Drunk calling can only lead to trouble and you will regret it the first thing next morning. When you get drunk you tend to get honest and by calling them you get to express yourself which might lead to a lot of other problems and make your ex really uncomfortable. Not only that, you might end up getting embarrassed the next day. So, it is better to stay away from calling your ex while you are drunk. Texting or emailing or contacting through social media might not be the best idea either. You should have yourself composed and stay away from social media networks while you are drunk. Drunk calling your ex has always landed people in trouble as it brings back the old memories that you have already bid goodbye to. Trying to contact your ex while you are drunk can get super weird, so never contact your ex while you are drunk.

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3. When You Are No Longer Jealous

The hardest part of breaking up is seeing your dear one with another partner. Even when you have no intention of getting back to them, just seeing them happy in their dating life can make you feel depressed. You would never be able to miss the fact that they are dating someone and they get all the love that you received in the first place. It is normal to get possessive and jealous as you had been their priority while you were dating and now it is not so anymore. So you must know that you can only contact your ex when you are no longer jealous of them hanging out with their new girlfriend. Being jealous of your ex means you are still trying to be a part of their lives. It is very important that you are able to accept the fact that your ex has moved on with their life. Trying to contact your ex while still being jealous can make it hard for you to get over your ex. You might end up having feelings for your ex again.

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4. Contact Your Ex When You Are Truly Happy For Them

Being happy for your ex might not be an easy thing to do. It is purely based on the relationship that you had with your partner and on how well you parted ways. So, this might not work for most as a break up normally tends to get a little clumsy. So, if you feel that you are happy for them - for their big break in their career or for having found the love of their life or something that you can be genuinely happy for - then let them know that you are happy. You can contact your ex when you can be their well-wisher and truly appreciate them for what they have become. Never try to fake being happy just to act normal. The best advice would be not to contact your ex if you are uncomfortable and best try not to fake being happy for your ex. So, if you can feel absolutely happy for your ex, then the best suggestion would be to contact your ex as the wait is finally over.

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5. If You Are Not Hoping To Get Back Together

Never forget that you broke up for a reason and that reason should never be forgotten. Those bad memories should be remembered so you don't fall in love with your ex all over again and get hurt the second time. You guys didn't work out the first time so there is no point in hoping that you would end up together when your ex has clearly moved on. So before trying to contact your ex analyze where you stand. If you find yourself having no hopes of getting back together with your ex, then the timing is best for you to contact your ex. When you have hopes of getting back together you should never contact your ex as it will cause you heartbreak. One of the best suggestions would be to contact your ex only after you feel that you have no intention of getting back together as this will save you a lot of trouble.

6. Never Contact Your Ex Just To Gloat

Just because you have a wonderful dating life doesn't mean you can contact your ex to exclaim your triumph in landing with the right partner before your ex does. This is not going to help you, rather you will end up feeling guilty. It is not just about finding the right partner, never gloat about achieving your dream either while your partner is still struggling to find the right job, for example. The timing is very important, so make sure you do it at the right time when it comes to relationships. Gloating is a common behavior in all humans but this just degrades the person who you are. So, never contact your ex or try to slip the information through social media to him or her as this will cause pain to your ex. You might end up feeling hurt and guilty knowing that you have shown this negative side of you to your ex and when you realize what you have done. So, the best advice would be, never call your ex just to rejoice in your victory when they are in complete misfortune.

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7. Never Contact Your Ex If You Are Interested In Having Sex

Having sex with your ex might not seem like a bad idea when it gets really lonely and depressing. It would seem to be a better idea than hooking up with someone for a one-night stand. Texting them or calling them just to have sex with them will only end up in huge drama. In broken relationships, you might feel that having sex with them for one last time can help you to get them out of your system. This is not true, having sex with your ex can make you feel stupid and guilty. One of the best suggestions would be to not contact your ex just for one final hook up. You shouldn't even have a one night stand to have sex with your ex. There is a lot of emotion and chemistry involved when you try to hook up with your ex which may eventually lead to falling in love again. So, to save yourself from trouble, the best advice would be to never contact your ex just for the sake of having sex. If you are interested in having sex with your ex then wait until that thought fades away and instead just start dating again.

8. Contact Your Ex If You Are Truly Concerned

When you are truly concerned about your ex then you can contact your ex. This doesn't mean contacting your ex while you are still trying to get over them. You can contact your ex when it is been a while and you no longer have a desire to fall in love with your ex. Contacting your ex, while you are concerned, before you've truly gotten over your ex can make you want to restart everything in your relationships. Never forget that your relationship didn't work out for a reason so try to stick to that. When you are clueless about what your ex is up to and have true intentions to know if they are okay then you can contact your ex. If it has been a while that you have heard from your ex or even your mutual friends and if you have no romantic interests towards your ex, then you can contact your ex. If you have healed from the broken relationship and if you feel that the timing is right then you have the go-ahead to contact your ex just to see what they've been up to or if everything is ok in their life.

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9. Contact When Your Therapist Says It Is Fine

After a breakup, to let go of your dear one might be a lot harder than you think. It is wise to talk with your therapist or friends and family to know if it is genuinely okay to talk to your ex again. You might have been dealing with a lot of things that might cause you pain and grief. It is very important that you get your friends' advice or suggestions if it is okay to contact your ex. Your friends will be able to give you a better perspective on if you are ready or not since they saw you and how you went through the break-up and can tell you objectively if you are ready or not to talk to your ex again. If you are trying to contact your ex, and if the reasons are fine, then make sure your therapist or friends advise you the same. If you have a therapist, come up with a plan that can help you to deal with your ex the right way before calling. Contacting your ex without any plan can make it harder for you to deal with them even when the reasons are right. So, one of the best suggestions would be to have a discussion with your friends, family or therapist on if you are ready to contact your ex.

10. When You Are Ready To Accept That Your Ex Has Moved On

If you are planning on contacting your ex you must be sure that you can handle a situation that you weren't expecting to hear. It might be situations like getting married, pregnancy, even moving in with someone else or simply to see them dating again. Even if you think you are no longer in love with your ex, these kinds of situations might not be easy to deal with. It might be hard, because if things had gone well for you and your ex you would be still a part of their lives but it looks like someone has totally replaced you now. If you wish to contact your partner you must be ready to accept the things that you have not hoped to hear. To know that your partner has moved on with their lives might not be good news. So, be prepared to accept that they have moved on. If you are not prepared to handle this kind of situations you are going to end up looking pathetic and depressed. So, one of the best suggestions would be to contact your ex only when you can truly accept that they have moved on.

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11. When You Have Forgiven Your Ex

If you have been dealing with a bad breakup it might get hard for you to forgive or ask for forgiveness from your ex. If you want to contact your ex, be sure that you have learned to forgive or be prepared to ask for forgiveness. Holding grudges can seem to be an easy thing to do but in the long run, you still negative feelings and have let those take over your heart. Never let negative feelings for your ex take over and reside in your heart as they will turn into anger, hate and resentment and their memory will stay with you forever and ever. Before contacting your ex, be sure that you can forgive them for what they have done as forgiving them can make it a lot easier for you to deal with them. If you feel that you owe your ex an apology then it is better to ask for forgiveness for whatever has been done in the past. Contact your ex when you think you are ready to forgive.

12. When It Actually Feels Right

The only person who knows you the best is YOU. You need to feel if it is totally right to contact your ex. Never rush into contacting your ex just because you want to talk to them. Take your time - it may be 10 months or 10 years but contact your ex only when you truly feel it is the right thing to do. You might get a lot of advice and suggestions from your friends and family but you will be the one facing the actual problem. So, know if you are actually ready before contacting your ex. Don't just listen to your heart to make a decision, as it might still be full of feelings for your ex, and include your mind and practical reasoning in your decision as well. Be practical and think what is best for you. If you truly feel that your ex no longer matters to you and if you feel that it is the right thing to do then you can contact your ex.

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Final Thoughts

Dating life has never been easy. It is hard to find the right one and even when you do there are a lot of problems that you need to deal with. Your relationship can come to an end if things don't go well but sometimes you will have to deal with your ex afterward for many other reasons. So, it is better for you to know how long to wait before you actually call your ex. Contact your ex only when you feel that you are absolutely ready to deal with them. The timing must be right for you to not have any lingering feelings about your past relationships and be able to deal with your ex in the right way.

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