Choosing Between Two Guys: 25 Questions to Find Your Lover

If you thought being single with no decent guys worth your time was a struggle, just wait till you find yourself in the position of having to choose between two guys. But the choice doesn’t have to be impossible. These 25 questions will help you choose between guys and find which of these lovers is really boyfriend material.

Sometimes your heart knows before your brain does. One clue to is to think about whether or not dating both guys makes you feel like you are betraying one of them. Which one do you feel the most guilt about ‘betraying’? There’s a good chance this is the one you should choose.

Your boyfriend should make you feel good. You want to choose whichever of the two guys you feel the most comfortable being yourself around. If one makes you feel anxious or insecure, that’s not good. If you become lovers, you’re just going to feel anxious and insecure for your entire relationship.

In some cases, when you find it tough to choose between two guys, it’s because each one has some of the qualities you like but neither has ALL of the qualities you like. If that’s the case, you are probably better off saying goodbye to both of them. Your other options will only end in disappointment: • You choose one guy and soon feel unhappy because he’s not everything you need in a boyfriend. • You put off the decision and choose to keep seeing the two guys until they both fall in love with you and become heartbroken when they realize you have been seeing someone else. They may not be the perfect boyfriend for you but that’s no reason to string them along. Let them go and give them the space to move on.

If you find yourself choosing between two guys, there’s a good chance you are at the early stages of a relationship with both. So sit down and figure out how much you really know both of these guys. What do you know about their interests, their hobbies, their goals for the future, their weaknesses?

After really thinking about what you know about each of the two guys, you might realize that the answer is suddenly obvious. You want a guy who shares some interests with you, who wants the same things in life as you, and whose weaknesses are things you are willing and able to work with.

Make a list of the things you absolutely will not put up with in a relationship. These might include excessive partying, a track record of cheating on past girlfriends, a smoking habit, or even political values that completely fly in the face of your own. Choosing between two guys gets a lot easier when one of them is loaded with deal-breaker qualities you know you couldn’t put up with in the long term.

If you are actually looking for a real emotional relationship, physical attraction is not the most important thing. If you’re not at all physically attracted to someone, that’s a problem. Assuming you feel some physical attraction to both guys, cut that piece out of the equation and choose between the two guys based on who you have a stronger emotional connection with. Who do you have more fun talking to? Which guy actually listens and cares about the things you say?

When you have a boyfriend, that generally means you have to spend a lot of time with them. Some of that time will be spent making out or having sex. But a lot of that time is going to be spent just being with them. Who do you have more fun with? How often do you feel like you have to force conversation or put a lot of effort into enjoying your time?

Have you ever felt those butterflies or that skip in your heartbeat when you hear your crush’s name? Has a bad day suddenly gotten 10 times better because the guy you liked sent you a text? That’s the feeling you want to chase after. They both might be exciting lovers but the one who gets you excited just at the mention of their name is the one that’s boyfriend material.

You can’t reason with your heart. But you can try to analyze and understand it. Make a list for each of the guys describing as best you can the qualities you like in them. Be as exhaustive as you can. And write them on a separate pieces of paper so that you aren’t glancing over at the list for guy #1 while writing the list for guy #2.

The next step is to figure out how much each of those things you love actually matter. Organize organizing each list by what kinds of qualities they are. Try to separate between physical and emotional feelings.

If you’re looking for a boyfriend, you want to choose the one with the most emotional qualities. However, if one guy only appeals to you emotionally while the other guy only appeals to you physically, go back to question #3 in this post. It may be time to dump both and look for a new guy who is the complete package.

Lovers can make us feel lots of things but one of the most important things we tend to overlook is safety. Which of the two guys makes you feel like you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do if it makes you uncomfortable? Choose the one that doesn’t make you feel like he’ll leave you the second he gets bored.

When someone gets on your nerves at work or you find out you got a parking ticket, which of the two guys do you go to first to vent? If you text both of them at the same time, challenge yourself the next time you’re having a bad day. Force yourself to text just one. When forced to choose between them, which guy did you choose? That’s probably the one worth keeping.

If you’re car breaks down and you’re stranded on the side of the road, which of these two guys is going to come out and get you? If you got in an accident and end up at the hospital, who do you want to see at your bedside when you first open your eyes? That’s the guy you need to choose.

This question isn’t asking you to choose between the guys based on how easy they are. But one of the two guys is probably more interested and more invested in you than the other. It’s easy to choose between them when you realize only one of them is genuinely interested in you as a person and not just your body.

Before you go choosing between two guys, make sure both guys are actually available for the choosing. If one guy is just looking for something casual and you’re looking for something serious, that gives you your answer right there.

An important factor when choosing between two guys is what their expectations are. Those could be sexual or emotional expectations. Talk openly with both guys about what they expect out of a relationship and out of you specifically. If either guy expects something you’re not comfortable giving, don’t be with him.

It’s not always easy to spot lies, especially if he is a really good liar. But you do tend to have an instinctual feeling about whether or not a guy is hiding things from you. Who offers up more information about their day when you ask them what they’re doing? Who gets defensive when you ask even simple questions about what they’re doing?

Some guys will go through a lot just to sleep with a girl. As ridiculous as it is, they will even pretend to want a serious relationship when all they want is something casual. If you aren’t 100% sure either of these guys is really interested in a commitment and that’s what you want, you need to find out before you waste your time on either of them.

If nobody involved (including yourself) expects exclusive commitment, don’t stress yourself out trying to choose. Enjoy your time with both. Meet other guys aside from either of them. Just keep communication open and make sure nobody is getting their feelings hurt.

Whether you’re looking for something exclusive, something casual, or something in between, you need to trust the guy. Trust is fundamental to any kind of relationship because you need to feel respected and safe with a person you are going to be involved with sexually, emotionally, or both. If you don’t full trust one of the guys, drop him.

Age ain’t nothing but a number. And it’s not unheard of for very young people to find the love of their life early on. But that really depends on what your priorities are. Do you have major plans for your career or your life in general?

Maybe now is not the time to be choosing between two guys. Maybe now is the time to focus on becoming the person you want to be and then finding someone who will fall in love with that person.

Try to picture your life without both of them. Visualize your daily and weekly routines without them. Now put one of them back in the picture. Visualize your life with just that one guy. Repeat with the other. Which one did you miss more when imagining life without them in it?

Sometimes we choose to get into a relationship just because we don’t like the idea of being alone. It happens. So be honest with yourself. Do you actually really like either of these guys or are you just trying to avoid being alone? Fall in love with yourself before you try to fall in love with someone else.

Before you limit yourself to choosing between two guys, ask yourself if you are ready to fully commit yourself to one person at all. The simple fact that you find yourself struggling to choose could be a sign that you aren’t ready for a serious commitment right now.

So take the time to seriously consider all 25 of these questions and if the answer to “how should I choose between these two guys?” ends up being “I should choose neither,” that’s ok! Be honest with yourself and honest with both guys and you’ll make the best possible decision for everyone!