Women And Crushes
Perhaps you are wondering what has got over you these days that you cannot seem to stop thinking about this guy you met on your way back from school the other day. Everywhere you go, he's always on your mind if not all over you. You wake up in the morning; he is your first thought. When you are at work, you are always thinking about him.
Simply put, you are crushing on him big time. Just a thought of how he looked at you last time drives you crazy and your keep calculating how you would act if he were right by your side. You merely know that you can't continue this way but the more you try to get him off your mind, the less it appears you are going to succeed in doing so.
Get this point clearly; it is normal to feel attracted to anyone. If all your hormones are working optimally, you hardly can break loose of this feeling. Howbeit, you have a reason to worry if the feeling has completely taken control of you. In other words, you are already being led by your heart and not your brain. Save for that; it isn't out of place to be genuinely attracted to someone.
How two hearts become knitted together in love is still a subject wrapped up in mystery. No one possesses an exclusive or definitive answer to it. It just happens that when we set our eyes on "Mr. Right" or "Ms. Right" as it is fondly called, something within us wants to be with them no matter what. We barely can sleep or eat unless we are sure these would have us do so. Again, in a love relationship, this is no big deal. It happens every time.
But what is it about some men that makes it hard for some women to stop thinking about them? The chances are that men themselves don't even know. And that is why many a time, when some men want to impress or woo a lady, they think the best way to do so is to do something out of this world. While such a feat might be sometimes impressive, they are not usually the core values that make a woman crave a man.
Men are not alone in this confusion. As a woman, whether married or single, sometimes you just find yourself attracted to this guy and you seem to be unable to help yourself. Surely, a bond is being formed which most times, can be dangerous for you if you don't break it; but you keep persisting because you can't help it. Here are ten reasons you are finding it hard to stop thinking about him and how to own your life back.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #1: Loneliness
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As you ponder on why you can barely sleep or stop thinking about a guy, one of the things to consider is loneliness. If the guy is your ex, perhaps you are still grappling with the pain of separation. If otherwise, you probably have been having much time these days to think about issues and people. Of course, without first emptying a filled cup, there is no way it can receive another thing inside it.
As it is, a break up with an ex, a fight with a best friend leading to temporary separation, and perhaps the absence of those that matter to you can be the reason for your loneliness. Whatever be the case, your capacity to get attracted to someone else is mostly based on separation from an existing relationship. Since none of us is created to be empty, it is normal to feel attracted to someone else which, on a normal day, we wouldn't have, had we not been lonely.
Therefore, your desire to have the guy, by all means, may continue unabated unless the source of that loneliness is identified and addressed. Thinking about another guy is just one of the natural ways that the body uses to fill a void which has been created due to a seared relationship. So, check yourself and be very honest; are you feeling lonely?
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #2: Manipulation
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It's funny sometimes how some ladies act out the scripts of some guys while still thinking that they are in full control of themselves. Manipulation is no longer manipulation if the person being manipulated sees it as such. The truth is when you find yourself thinking uncontrollably about a guy; you should ask yourself some serious questions. You might just have been set up to do so.
The basic principle of manipulation is to study your victim's weak points and exploit it. And what's more? All of us have one dross or the other that needs serious attention. Your dross can be your inability to control yourself when you see a well-built chest; it could even be as silly and small a thing as the smell of deodorant, shoe size, or clothing.
Somehow, you know within yourself that your sense of justice about a guy is disrupted when you notice a particular trait or thing in them. A guy that is manipulative can quickly identify this weakness of yours and exploit them until he takes control of your feelings. Don't be surprised if those things that you seem to be powerless against are the features you continuously see in a guy that you can't stop thinking about; you are probably being manipulated.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #3: Love
Yes, it can be love. Most love relationships begin with a bit of infatuation from one party to the other until a sufficient reason is found to base the love on. How can we rule out this magical thing from such an intense feeling of attraction you are having for a guy? Even if that guy is your ex, the fact that you can barely sleep or eat without the thought of him may be a great indication that you truly love him.
Love often makes us get lost of self and focus on the other person. As it goes, when your heart and eyes meet your soul mate, nothing else matters as getting in touch with them. You can't do without them. However, love is not unreasonable. And that means that even though you want this guy desperately, you still can control yourself without acting sheepishly; you would still have your boundary that must never be crossed no matter what.
So, what's the point? If you find yourself thinking about a man, it could be that you sincerely love him. It could be considered untrue to say that it cannot be love because we do know that there are some elements of infatuation even in love. It would be up to you to subject your feelings to proper scrutiny to ascertain exactly what it is. And one way is to give it some time. Mere infatuation would die a natural death with the passage of time.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #4: Character
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Who can stop thinking about a courteous and well-mannered guy? You went to the cinema to see a movie, and he stood up for you to sit comfortably. You had too many things on your hands, and he offered to help you with some of them, perhaps in such a lovely and calm way. These gentle acts of kindness and courtesy are the things that matter most to women and girls.
Some gestures are typically uncommon with men, and if ladies and women see a guy manifesting such, it can surely be a thing they would keep remembering him for the deeds. So, it could be that the guy in question is different to other guys you have been coming across. No one sees a uniquely good thing and takes off their minds from it very easily. As such, you are just human if this is the case.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #5: Influence
Is the guy in question full of influence? That is, everyone seems to like him and wants to be around him; that may be a reason you are finding it hard to get him off your mind. Of course, the fact that his colleagues and associates respect him suggest that he must be a kind and respectable person. That itself may be something about him you are finding hard to forget.
Every time you recall how much influence he wields, your heart is warmed up, and you feel like getting connected to him. Again, this is normal. Most women would admit having affection for and getting attracted to a man that is well respected and commands much influence from the society. It is a trait to be proud of especially if the guy in question combines it with humility.
You could think of how much jealousy it would evoke amidst your friends to be seen as being close to a man of influence. And if anything, girls like to brag about their guys and talk about how much influence he's got in the society. Therefore, it really can be hard to stop thinking about this somewhat bright prospect.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #6: Hormones
Sometimes, when you are finding it hard to stop thinking about a guy, it might just be your hormones at work. And if this is the case, you would just find yourself enveloped in the feeling for quite a time.
As a lady, your monthly period is mediated by some hormones whose effect sometimes numbs you to certain realities. During those moments that the hormones are high in your system, you seem to appreciate things you might not have considered worthy of attention in a guy before.
Put in another language, your attraction rate for guys is heightened with the influx of certain hormones into your system. Such hormones and chemicals capable of causing you to be exceptionally attracted to a guy include estrogen, serotonin, adrenaline, oxytocin, and dopamine. These things have a way of speeding up your happiness rate and attraction for a guy.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #7: Break Up
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It's a sweet thing to date a guy, and almost every girl looks up to the experience. However, shit happens, and the one you have so much built your happiness around can meet you with the unwanted gospel of breakup. The matter becomes heavy for you to swallow if he is your first date. Surely, it would be hard to forget in a short time a guy who introduced you to love.
Now let's go a bit further; has he promised you marriage? Have you started sleeping with him? If the answers to these questions are the affirmative, sure, you cannot easily let go of him in your mind like that. The days you had a night out in the clubs and some beautiful dates you both had would keep replaying themselves in your mind causing you to keep thinking about him.
Letting go of a boyfriend is certainly a tough experience for any lady. It doesn't know experience and no matter how old you are or the reason for the separation, you would still find yourself wishing the whole thing didn't happen at least for some time.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #8: Composure
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A guy that is composed or "cool-headed" has been found to be very attractive to most ladies. It is not clear why this is so because one would naturally expect that girls would go for a guy that is "ruthless" and manly in traits. But contrary to this expectation, certain studies have revealed that women and girls can barely esteem ruthlessness as they do calmness and composure in guys.
Most girls want to have a boyfriend that would help reduce their life burdens and not add to it. It can be stressful having to deal with a boyfriend that is not calm, composed, or organized. As such, upon sighting a man that seems to have this feature, you may not find it easy taking your mind off him for days. He's got what you want, and you are naturally normal to keep him in your thought.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #9: Confidence
Being confident in oneself namely in the ability of one to protect and provide is a feature that girls are attracted to in guys. It doesn't matter how much resources you have at your disposal; a man who seems not to be intimidated by them would, of course, win your attention and perhaps your affection as well. This is true for most women.
Confidence isn't the same as arrogance and or having a fat bank account. Most times, many guys get this wrong by thinking that their fat bank account is all a lady wants. Of course, nothing turns off a girl more than this somewhat myopic belief.
But if a guy, whether he has much money or not, is self-possessed and believes he can find his way around anything and any issue in life, it's hard to stop thinking about such a man. He is the dream of many girls and women.
Why You Can't Stop Thinking About Him #10: Brilliance
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There are abundant shreds of evidence to show that the female folks appreciate and adore intelligence or brilliance in men. Beyond what his pocket says or how he looks, if a man appears to be a genius in the sight of a girl, it becomes extremely hard to get his thought off her head. To the girl, that guy is not of this world.
So, back to the issue of why you can't stop thinking about him; is he a genius of some sorts? Has he done something unusual or great before? Is he a straight-A student in college? If the answers to these questions are all yes, then you already know why you can barely sleep or eat without his thought in your heart. Intelligence is a feature that no lady can deny not appreciating in a guy.
How To Move On
Of course, you have to move on with your life. You cannot get all lost in your thought because of a guy. As such, here is some advice to move on with your life.
1. Admit the obvious. There is no need to deny your feelings for a guy. If he is your boyfriend, let him know that you are eating your heart out for him; if he is not, tell yourself the truth.
2. List out the things that you find attractive about him. You see, most things make sense to us until we write them down and review them at a later time.
3. To move on, ask yourself whether you want to date him or not. If he is an ex-boyfriend, do you think he still has a place in your heart? If he does, fine. If not, let go. On the other hand, if he is new to you, examine his pros and cons and ascertain if he is a guy you can date.
4. For an ex-boyfriend that has more pros than cons, babe, just let go!
5. Make yourself available for a date if he is new to you.
6. To move on, ensure that you are not idle. Get something doing. Mop that floor; do your assignments and before you know it, his thought might just get off your head.
7. Where all these tips do not work, seek professional help.
Any thought that occupies your mind so much that you can barely sleep or eat without it is worth paying attention to and finding a better solution. Sometimes, it could be a warning for you to get off a track; at another time, it can just be a mere fantasy. If that thought is about a guy as we have discussed in this piece, it is good to know why and how you can move on.
No doubt. You must have found this piece useful in some ways. Get yourself up and do the needful. Your life must not be on hold for a reason you have control over.