15 Signs Your Marriage Is Over. Time To Draft Those Paperwork

Here are 15 signs that tell you your marriage is in trouble and is failing. Each one says the same thing: it's over, time to leave.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
15 Signs Your Marriage Is Over. Time To Draft Those Paperwork

Some marriages are not just meant to be

Few predicaments befall us in life without first giving some signs of their arrival. The purpose of these signs is that, if possible, we might be able to prevent these problems from fully materializing. In other scenarios, signs serve the purpose of minimizing a problem's harmful effects if they cannot be outrightly averted. A marriage that is coming to an end surely shows some signs of breaking. The truth is this: not all marriages are meant to be. Marriages that often hit dead ends are ones in which both partners ignored signs that they shouldn't be together in the first place. Now that they have come together in marriage, the signs change from "don't marry him or her" to "Leave that marriage now." Here are 15 signs that once you start noticing in your marriage, you know the next thing to do is to start preparing the papers for a divorce:

#1. Continued abuse in the marriage

When your partner continues to treat you badly, you don't need any other sign for you to know that your marriage is bound to fail. Abuse is a way for partners to express their exhaustion in marriage. The abuse can be physical where one partner beats and inflicts injuries on the other or it can be sexual where the sexual dignity of either partner is no longer respected. In some cases, the abuse can be financial, emotional, or psychological or even combinations of two to three types. Whatever form it assumes, when you no longer get the basic respect that every person deserves, the next path to take is to exit the arrangement. Remember that the keyword here is "continued." We are not talking about an occasional error that may not be avoidable in most relationships or marriages. But if beating you, shouting you down, raping you, and other abuses have become your partner's way of life, your very life is at risk and it's a sign you should call off your marriage.

#2. An absence of communication is among the signs

Often, a marriage that is bound to fail exhibits little to zero communication between partners. When you have issues with your spouse and he or she is unwilling to discuss them, then you know you are in for trouble. Usually, the partner that refuses to open up does not want a solution to the crisis and perhaps, has made up his or her mind to quit the relationship ASAP. You would do well to leave that marriage early because you never can tell what is going on in the mind of a partner with sealed lips. He or she may be planning something nasty. Apart from that, what else would you gain from a marriage where your spouse bottles up most issues and never tells you what's wrong?

#3. No more sex in your marriage

Truth be told, sexual intercourse may not be the main reason for marriage but it is, without a doubt, one major benefit of it. It serves as the mortar that cements the blocks of a relationship. Typically, couples begin to realize they are in for trouble when their sexual life begins to wane. When your partner who has always been hungry for sex suddenly withdraws from you and stops giving or receiving sexual advances, that is a sign love has been lost and hence, the marriage is about to break. Ideally, in a healthy marriage or relationship, sex is something both partners look forward to as an expression of their love for each other.

#4. You see your life getting better without your spouse

By the time you begin to imagine how comfortable life without your spouse would be, there is little or nothing left to save from your marriage. The best thing you can do right now is to leave. In a marriage that will not break, even when couples have disagreements, they still find it hard to live without each other. But in this case, the mere mention of your partner's name alone invokes anger and resentment. You feel it would be better to remain single for life than continue to live with him or her. It is possible you have even sought lots of therapy sessions from counselors, all to no avail. The truth is, you don't love your spouse anymore and it's time to leave.

#5. Your marriage is over if your spouse continues to cheat on you

No one likes to be cheated on in a relationship. We can manage to forgive one or two scenarios but when it has become a repeated way of life, there's nothing else to do than to start preparing the divorce papers. Marital infidelity could one day be the cause of your untimely death. Of course, apart from the numerous sexually transmitted diseases now running rampant, you are also a threat to the other people your partner is sleeping around with. At any point, they may just want to remove you from the picture to have unrestricted access to him or her.

#6. Your spouse's frequent absence is among the signs your marriage is over

The line has to be drawn here. It is possible your spouse is on a business trip, which is what's keeping him or her away from home. But in a healthy relationship, there would be communication even during such momentary absences. However, when either of you constantly leaves home for days without informing the other of your whereabouts, it means you no longer care what becomes of the other person. What else will solve the problem other than breaking up the marriage?

#7. Abandonment of roles is among the signs your marriage is over

Husbands and wives have roles in a family setup. And if the home will continue to run effectively, the two must be aware of their responsibilities. Of course, these roles are largely determined by society but in some cases too, they may be arrived at after discussions and mutual agreement. Whichever way it happens, most marriages that fail have the abandonment of roles as one of their key features. Therefore, if, for no reason, your spouse continuously fails to play his or her part in the marriage, you may just have been told that your relationship is over.

#8. Your partner suddenly turns into an addict

The pain and trouble of a faulty marriage can be so great that either of you can suddenly turn to drugs or alcohol as a way out. You've probably sought help from different people yet you can't seem to make any headway. As a matter of fact, in some marriages, the more people try to seek outside help instead of resolving conflicts internally, the worse the situation becomes. For such frustrated couples, it's a sign they should both leave the marriage when the trouble has advanced to this stage.

#9. You are both unwilling to compromise

Two people coexisting peacefully in a marriage certainly would have had to compromise on a number of issues. It's not possible for both people to claim their rights simultaneously all the time without any trouble. So, when it has become totally impossible for you both to bear with each other, it's a sign that your marriage is bound to fail. There cannot be two drivers in a car, both wanting to handle the steering at the same time. One has to accommodate the other for the vehicle to reach its destination safely. But where neither person will yield to the other, then the journey is over!

#10. Incessant fights are also among the signs your marriage is over

It is impossible for couples to live together for long without fighting. Most times, this fighting is as a result of the love they have for each other. It's also a way for your relationship to progress as you learn new things about each other and how to live together. But when you fight 6 times in a week and each fight is baseless and petty, it's time for you to leave the relationship.

#11. You are seriously in love with someone who is not your spouse

When people enter into marriage, it is a commitment they make to love each other most for the rest of their lives. Therefore, when one partner falls in love someone else, it's a sign of one thing: the marriage is over. When you are in a marriage and you are in love with someone else, you surely are out of love with your spouse and your marriage will sooner or later fail.

#12. Sudden absence of financial openness is also among the signs your marriage is over

The best and the worst moment #atm #withdrawingmoney

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You were one with your spouse in finances before. Then, all of a sudden, you discover he or she suddenly turns secretive and hides all his or her financial details from you. It's not accidental, the grounds are being set for a divorce.

#13. Open disregard for your religious beliefs

Religion means something different to every person. You and your spouse may not have the exact same religious and spiritual leanings, but if he or she outright disregards your religious standards, your marriage is heading for failure.

#14. Flagrant disrespect for in-laws

When either of the partners know the marriage is over, they tend not to obey or respect their in-laws any longer. Every attempt made by in-laws to make things work again would be heavily resisted. In fact, in some extreme cases, in-laws better be careful so they're not assaulted.

#15. Your spouse does not want to bear children

Partners who are secretly nurturing divorce utilize this tactic. In order to leave no trace of them ever being with the other person, they always try to avoid the topic of having children. So, when your spouse keeps doing everything to stop children coming into your life, you are in a marriage that's about to break.

Bottom line

It's not always best to try to make a marriage work at all costs. Some unions are just a product of mistakes which cannot be allowed to continue, unless the two individuals involved are on a suicide mission. That being said, divorce is never a great thing. Efforts should be made to prevent it from happening and the best time to avoid it is as early as possible, when you're still dating. Choose someone you cannot live without and not just someone you can live with. Each person has to make up his or her mind to make the relationship work before it can. But where ego prevails and couples refuse to mutually submit to each other, a nasty break up might just end a once splendid marriage. The signs listed above should be taken as absolute signs when every effort to reconcile with each other has failed. They are not signs witnessed in successful marriages.

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