Top 10 Causes of Relationship Anxiety & How To Overcome It

There are times in life when we fall into relationship anxiety without noticing. Find out how to know that you are facing this anxiety and how to avoid it.

By Dagmar Thomson
Top 10 Causes of Relationship Anxiety & How To Overcome It

Top 10 Causes of Relationship Anxiety & How to Overcome It

Relationships anxiety is a mental health condition that you should not ignore. The major symptoms of anxiety are shivering, muscle tension, insomnia, increased heart rate, fatigue, and sweating. Relationship anxiety is a serious condition and it can lead to depression. If your past romantic relationships have been traumatic, you should remind yourself that not all love relationships are bad. Try to take a deep breath and enjoy your new love life. If you succumb to anxiety, it will ruin all aspects of your life. You have to learn to overcome your relationship anxiety by loving yourself first. Here are some pointers to look out for and know if you are having relationships anxiety.

1. Lack of Trust in Relationships

When a spouse is caught cheating, it can be a very devastating and shocking experience. It causes mistrust and a sense of insecurity. You will lose control of your emotions wondering if your spouse will repeat the act again. You will experience relationship anxiety about the cheating process wondering if your relationship will go back to normal or not. Rather than letting mistrust lead to anxiety, deal with it by talking it out with your new spouse. Do not try to overcome it alone lest you succumb to depression. If your past relationship did not work out because of an infidelity act, do not stress yourself out. Your spouse did not deserve you.

2. Fear of Being Abandoned

Children thrive best by learning to depend on grownups. They create attachment and whenever they sense they are being left, they cry a lot due to anxiety and fear of being alone. This attachment follows us into adulthood. If you have been abandoned before in your past relationships, you will experience anxiety. You will start thinking that your newfound love will leave you too. Whenever you have a fight with your spouse, you will worry that your partner is going to leave you because you have angered him or her. Separation anxiety is a bad habit that will ruin your relationship and destroy your whole life. Nobody likes being alone or abandoned. Therefore, if you experience any symptoms of anxiety, talk to your spouse and discuss ways to overcome it. The symptoms are quite clear because you will be very uncomfortable about everything that is happening.

3. Fear of Distance in a Relationship

Couples who are miles away from each other should make communication a priority. When your partner avoids communicating with you and he or she is physically away from you, it can be a cause for anxiety. It is difficult to relax and assure yourself all is good in your relationship. Make a point to talk to your spouse. Plan how to meet and communicate more. Do not let anxiety take control of your life.

4. Communicating With Your Ex

Anxiety in relationships can be brought by communication with an ex. Knowing your new spouse is communicating with an ex cannot only cause anxiety but also mistrust and eventually a breakup. If you must communicate with your ex, let your spouse know why you are doing so. If you do not have to communicate with your ex, then do not. Nobody likes new insecure relationships.

5. Jealous Spouse

Jealousy is a major cause of anxiety in a new relationship. A spouse becomes jealous due to lack of self-esteem. In order to overcome jealousy, you need to work on your self-esteem. Go to a therapist if you cannot handle it on your own. A jealous partner always thinks of the worst outcome in all relationships. A spouse will experience anxiety and would be waiting for the worst to happen. A jealous spouse is capable of doing anything. Since jealousness tends to increase relationships anxiety, you should work on building your self-esteem. Jealousy is the worst character a person can have.

6. Anxiety Caused By Future Plans of A Relationship

You have been dating your spouse for quite sometimes and you are wondering what your future holds. When your partner does not seem committed to your relationship, anxiety will start building up. You have given your all in this relationship and you do not know where it is heading. You will wonder if you should let go or stay and try to fix things. You fear you will have to begin all over again with somebody new and this will cause relationship anxiety to increase. Beginning new relationships comes with its own challenges. Instead of letting anxiety ruin your relationship, let your partner know what you are thinking of and how you want things to progress. Your partner might surprise you after all.

7. Fear of Unworthiness

A person who has a low self-esteem feels inadequate of anyone’s love. It is strenuous when a spouse shows you love and you keep on rejecting it by questioning your worthiness. You feel anxiety due to close intimacy. This will ruin your relationships. Rather than letting anxiety take over your emotions, learn to overcome it by loving yourself. You should know that you are a beautiful soul and anybody who loves you is lucky to have you in his or her life. Loving relationships involves emotional intimacy and closeness. Love is a wonderful feeling.

8. Anxiety Caused By Falling In Love

Letting yourself become vulnerable can lead to relationship anxiety, especially if you have been hurt before. You will constantly live in fear not knowing if the relationships will work. If you argue with your spouse, you will wait with a lot of anxiety to see how your spouse will react. Depression will begin if you do not let go. You should relax and once you feel safe that you can trust your spouse, let go and enjoy.

9. Fear of Losing Money

Money is a major cause of anxiety in relationships. When couples marry, they think that love conquers all. Wait until the expenses such as house rent, school fees, and house expenses to mention but a few start accumulating. This is when you realize that love is not everything. Money is a major priority in all relationships and the minute money becomes less, anxiety builds up. Couples start fighting and marriages break off. Most people are not open about money issues until everything is falling apart. Be brave and deal with the money problem face on. Do not wait for anxiety to attack you.

10. Anxiety Generated By Stress in a Relationship

It is normal for couples to fight now and then. However, when couples begin to fight constantly about the same issue, this generates relationship anxiety. Strenuous relationships can lead to anxiety hence progressing into depression. You might feel the urge to end your relationship instead of getting hurt. This may not be the best idea at the time. Talk to your spouse and see if things will change. If you are in love and willing to give your relationships a chance, face your anxiety problem head-on.

How to Overcome Relationship Anxiety

If you have been suffering from relationship anxiety for so long and you do not know how to deal with it, here are ways you can manage it before it beginnings to take over your life.

• Occupy Yourself

Every time you are in new relationships, you begin to experience anxiety. Instead of focusing all your attention on your relationships problems, divert all your energy into other things such as hobbies, projects you like, joining a dancing group and so forth. If you keep yourself occupied, you will have an outlet to let your anxiety go. Your relationship will work out after all.

• Be Yourself

Trying to change whom you are in order to please someone in new relationships can be tiring and at the same time, it can make you anxious. Instead of going through all that, let that person know you are just fine as you are. The sooner you start loving yourself the sooner anxiety will stop. Do not let anybody push you around in order to please them. If your spouse has a problem with you being yourself, then it is time to walk away from the relationship.

• Stay in the Moment and Enjoy Your Relationship

When you are in a new relationship, feeling anxious is normal but letting it get too far is what will ruin your relationship. If your relationship is new and it is not working out as you had hoped for, do not get anxious, let go and see how it will end up. If your new spouse is not committed as well, do not let anxiety bother you. Let things flow and live in the moment.

• Do Not Force Things to Work

Forcing things to work out as they are not in new relationships will lead to symptoms of relationship anxiety. Stay in the present and learn to take things as they come. When you have depression, you are living in the past and when you have relationship anxiety, you fear for your future. Beginning to understand that will help you to live a stress-free life. Enjoy all the gifts love relationships have to offer. Remember that forcing anything to work out will make you live an d pressure, and thus you will stress your relationship.

• Focus on You

Beginning a new relationship can cause relationship anxiety. You will start worrying whether you will impress your new spouse. Instead of focusing on all that, pay attention to yourself. You are forgetting that your new spouse is worried if you will be impressed too. Instead of making an impression on someone, let the person try to impress you. Furthermore, it is an honor to be with you. This change of perception will reduce your relationships anxiety. It is normal to have had some relationship anxiety at one point in our lives. We are all human and of course, we might be worried about certain things in our relationships. The best way to handle such form of anxiety is to try to be calm. As said above, such anxiety is not healthy and it could even lead to depression. Put yourself together and accept things as they are and everything will be fine.

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