A breakdown of experiences from people who have dated a stripper
It is clear that having one profession or another facilitates or worsens love relationships. Those who have the worst jobs one can have when in a relationship are the people who engage in the sexual market. In this case, we will be talking specifically about strippers. Not everyone could have a serious relationship with someone who strips and undress in front of other people at a night club whilst dancing sensually. Three men who have seriously dated girls who were dedicated to this world have talked with 'Cosmopolitan' about the details of their experiense with strippers. We will tell you about what they said about the whole thing. Curious? Keep reading!
We will start with Chase (fictitious name). He dated a stripper for about 8 months. They met through mutual friends. He confesses that when he started dating her, he didn't know what her job was, but discovered it after two weeks when she decided to tell him. "I saw the concern in her eyes. At first I was a little hesitant, whether to continue with her or not," he says.
Although Chase was not very sure of continuing his relationship with her, in the end, they stayed together for a while. In fact, on one occasion he went to see her stripping in the club she worked in, something that left the young woman "shocked", as she approached and asked what he was doing there. "I told her it was my way of showing my support. She kissed me, but didn't dance for me." It should be noted that this was not the first time that he went to a dancers club. But his way of seeing it changed after meeting his ex-girlfriend: "I started seeing the business as a despicable culture, almost as a brothel."
In bed, they did well, since it was easy for them to talk about sex. The communication worked well between them, but he did not like to hear stories about his girl's job because "they were usually very negative" and "felt bad for her." "She told me that her companions were very toxic and that one had to be careful not to damage any ego around there" "Although I was jealous, I was proud to date a stripper. I never asked her to quit his job," he says. There was only one condition: that she did not maintain physical contact with clients.
"I liked that she was a dancer; she was sexy"
George, fictitious name, is the protagonist of the second story. He met his stripper girlfriend at school, that is, very young. He didn't know what his girl really did, but one night he had already sensed it. She asked him "what would you think if I, hypothetically, started working as a stripper?" George told him that he wouldn't care too much. However, the woman did not bring up the subject again. It should be noted that he knew that his girlfriend worked Thursday and Friday as a waitress, but nothing more. He later discovered what she really did.
Although he never went to see her act, he does not conceive of the profession as something negative. In fact, it became "something very sexy" that is often part of their sexual game. "We often have fantasies about it, and we both like it very much." She dances for her boy in private, and he loves it: "It's very good."
This couple did not set limits on their relationship, but George was very jealous of his girl's job. He told her to leave it, since "he was not comfortable with the situation." Advice to future boyfriends of strippers? "Communication is a primary issue. Think about whether the situation makes you feel comfortable and safe. If not, you can negotiate terms and conditions. Don't punish yourself too much if you disapprove of that work. Just be kind and talk to her."
As the two guys have said, it is a job like any other. However, we must recognize that it is not suitable for extremely jealous or insecure people.
Why dating a stripper is different
While dating a stripper probably makes you feel quite manly at the beginning of the relationship, how might your feelings change if you find yourself falling in love? Will you still be OK with her occupation if you're thinking about bringing her home to meet your folks? All of a sudden, does her job cause you a headache? A relationship with a stripper is different from any other relationship in many ways. Here is why:
Let’s start with the obvious. When you date a stripper everybody has seen your girlfriend naked or can see your girlfriend naked whenever they want to see her. If some idiot from your office wants to watch your girlfriend’s boobs swinging to some random Mötley Crüe song, then all he has to do is visit the Blue Flame on Tuesday night. She will be there shaking the girls for a few dollars. Inevitably, some guy is going to touch your girlfriend inappropriately. He might grab a body part or stick his face or fingers somewhere they should not be. If she smiles as she pushes him away or (even worse) allows him to touch her, how would that make you feel? It is her job to sell sexual fantasies to men. She is not doing anything wrong, but you would want to fight the guy and blame her for disrespecting you. Nobody wins in this one.
Dating an exotic dancer requires the type of trust that few people have. And, the hours of operation for strip clubs do not help with building trust. As mentioned before, strippers work a job where they are nude or scantily clothed all night long while men paw at them during all their shift. When the customers are not aggressively grabbing them, then the stripper is actively trying to convince them to part with their hard-earned dollars by flaunting her sexuality at them (which is a nice way of saying she rubs her boobs and butt on their lap until they concede).
You, her boyfriend, know that she “dances” from late at night until the early morning grinding on men’s erections. Your stripper girlfriend will come home with a pocket full of money and be too exhausted to interact with you because of her long night at work. Unless you work the same unconventional hours that she works, when she comes home, you will be at your job or headed to your job. And then, when you get back home, she will be headed out again to rub her body against stranger’s boners. The lack of personal time and the inevitable perceived lack of interest from her can lead to trust issues in your relationship. There is an emotional toll for selling sex even if intercourse is not involved. If she is not honest, then your stripper lover may be sleeping with her coworkers while you are working. Sooner or later, trust and integrity will be violated.
Why dating a stripper is not different
A stripper is usually considered a kind of outcast who lives in a miserable and denigrating world, but with the fortune of having a voluptuous and attractive body, and the natural or learned ability to move it in accordance with the visual and imaginary enjoyment of men (and women) who pay to attend this show, until one day the stripper makes enough money or finds a wealthy hero who removes it from the mud and rot. But, in reality, strippers can be normal girls who don't have other choices than to sell their looks sexually to get food on their plate. They can feel, love and be in a relationship, too.
Strippers can be university students, mothers and, yes, grandmothers that all they are looking for is earn a little more money for their own subsistence.
Thus, not all strippers are prostitutes per se, although it is true that prostitution is part of the business. And the same with drugs: addiction is not necessary, but it is true that drugs circulate profusely in the environment. We must not lose sight of the fact that it is a job, and that the women who carry it out treat it as such, as a source of income that, eventually and if, as in everything, they know administering will allow them to move on to something else.
Why you should not date a stripper
Strippers can be very beautiful, enticing, sexy, charming, alluring, etc. and therefore very hard for a man to resist. Dating strippers can be really sexy and fun. But, It’s a double-edged sword to date strippers. They are more sexually open than your average woman, but more often than not, they have a boatload of baggage to go along with them; daddy issues, etc. So the chances of a guy finding the love of his life and a perfect woman to have a family within a strip joint are highly unlikely. These are the reasons why you should not date one:
1. Their environment
A lot of strippers tend to be into drugs and the party lifestyle that goes along with it. Beautiful women dancing for horny men who give them free drinks, drugs, their money, promises of an escape from the lifestyle, etc. It’s amazing to see the effect that drugs and excessive drinking and partying can have on a human being. Fp example, cocaine makes you horny. Guys with money and cocaine are like candy to strippers and women who like cocaine. Doing the drug makes them highly likely to give up more than a sexy dance in exchange for more drugs. They lose all of their inhibitions.
2. They can be very manipulating
Women can be master manipulators and master intimidators to men who do not understand women. A stripper’s job is to make a man believe in the fantasy that he has a chance with her in order to keep him buying lap dances and drinks for himself and the strippers that stop by his table. The same will happen with pretty much anything in your relationship. She will always find her way to get what she wants.
3. They usually have daddy issues
Speaking of dysfunction, daddy issues are usually behind a woman making the decision to strip. The lack of a strong male figure in formative years leads to problems in romantic relationships, a lack of respect for authority figures, and ultimately to questionable choices as an adult. If a woman has never seen a healthy relationship between a man and a woman, then she has no positive models or points of reference for her personal relationships. Without male figures to balance female teachings, you get unstable children who grow up to be irrational adults. And, no one is more irrational than a person who expects money whenever they take off their clothes. This will definlty take a toll in your relatinship.
4. They have probably been sexually abused
You will always have competition for the affection of a beautiful woman, but with strippers, you are at a unique disadvantage. You are, in essence, competing with pro athletes, drug dealers, rock stars, and rappers. And though the average woman may not be swayed by rich men flashing literal piles of money at them, the average exotic dancer can be captivated by both celebrity and wealth. Those men live a lifestyle that you can not provide for her and have the type of money that can change a woman’s life immediately. And, to reiterate, a stripper is motivated by money. The probability of your stripper girlfriend being a little more touchy with a genuine celebrity is high. And, that is if your girlfriend is loyal. If she is not loyal, then she may sleep with that celebrity for a shot at a little more cash.
Prostitution represents a significant part of exotic dancing. And to be clear, all women who dance do not necessarily sleep with their customers for money, however, in every club, there are women who price their services out in the V.I.P. room.
You are in your right to date and fall in love with a stripper, as you are in your right not to want anything to do with one. It is all up to you, but there are some things that you should really consider before making that jump, which in our opinion, is pretty dangerous. We have laid on the table all the good and the bad about dating a stripper, so, it is now your turn to decide which side is heavier. Whatever it is that you do, dont say we didnt warn you!