How to attain closure in a past relationship?
There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. All relationships come with their fair share of ups and downs. Unfortunately, some of them aren’t strong enough to weather the storm and therefore end up crumbling like feta cheese. And when this happens, both parties are likely to end up wallowing in hurt and guilt. While some people are strong enough to move from one relationship to the next without closure, others aren’t. And if you are among those who cannot move on without closure, worry not. It’s never too late to learn how to go about it. Thankfully, getting closure isn’t as difficult as some may make it look like. People who are in need of closure may find it difficult to find their purpose, especially after a nasty break up. And that is why it is important for them to find closure because closure will give meaning to their lives after the relationship. Thankfully, there are quite a number of ways one can find closure after a relationship. It is, therefore, a brilliant idea to always go with the closure tips you deem as personally convenient. If you don’t find any of these tips helpful especially on a personal basis, always feel free to find your ways of obtaining closure. Here are ten tips you can use to finally get closure from your last relationship.
1. Find closure in a past relationship by forgiving
Whether you are a heartbroken guy or girl after a failed relationship, you’ll always feel hatred toward your ex. Most guys will flat-out deny these feelings because they think admittance will only make them look weak before their cronies. But the fact is everyone feels hatred after a break up, even if it’s just a little. Another fact is that there is nothing to be ashamed of because it feeling hatred after a break up is a natural occurrence. This means the more you avoid having a conversation about your hatred and the reasons you feel that way, the worse the situation will get. And even worse, these feelings will affect your next relationship, especially if not addressed on time. With that in mind, the first thing you’ll need to do is writing down all the reasons you feel hurt after your failed relationship. Once you’ve finished writing them down, try viewing these reasons from your ex’s point of view. After doing this rather simple exercise, you’ll realize your ex is only human and just like everyone else, is bound to making mistakes. And with that in mind, you’ll find it easier to forgive and move on. And once you have forgiven your ex, you can heal comfortably and prepare for your next relationship with neither attachments nor regrets. Remember that forgiving, especially a person who hurt you from a past relationship, is easier said than done. But with some practice and determination, anything is possible.
2. Forgiving oneself will help in finding closure
Apart from finding closure from a past relationship through forgiving your ex, forgiving oneself also happens to be equally important. After a break up, people tend to overthink about a lot of things they did wrong or didn’t do when they were still dating an ex. For instance, you might find yourself bickering about being too lazy or not loving your ex the right way. The fact is and will still remain that the relationship bit the dust and your ex-lover moved on (or is in the process of moving on). Therefore, whenever you find yourself in such a position, the best thing you can do is forgiving yourself. Accept that you are human and will always make mistakes. In fact, you can find meaning to your break up by drawing as many life lessons as you possibly can. Doing this after a break up will only set a much stronger foundation upon which you can build your next relationship. But you can draw any valuable lessons from a broken relationship if all you do is kick yourself for screwing up. For instance, if you were naïve, then you’ll learn how to not be naïve and be a much better lover in your next relationship. But if you are the kind of guy/girl who mops and wallows in a pool of regret after a break up, you’ll never learn a thing. And if you miss your chance to learn, you’ll end up making the same mistakes you did in your previous relationship.
Having a long, mature conversation with your ex can help you find closure after your relationship took a plunge to its demise. The reason why most people find it difficult to move on after a failed relationship is because they have a ton of things unsaid and a ton of questions unanswered. Therefore, if you and your ex can have a sit down as grownups and have an in-depth conversation about your failed relationship, you’ll definitely find closure. And you’ll be in a position to heal and get ready for your next relationship. The thing about having such conversations is that you have to get your timing right. Do not make the mistake of attempting a sit down when the break up is still fresh. This is because both you and your ex-lover are still bitter and nothing constructive can be achieved. Therefore, waiting until all emotions have cooled down before having the conversation is always the best option. Then before hopping into your next relationship like a clueless bunny rabbit, try reaching out to your ex and planning to have the conversation that’ll bring you the much-needed closure. You might be surprised how valuable the lessons you’ll draw from such a conversation will come in handy in your next relationship.
4. Find closure through acceptance
There are times when your ex will break up and want absolutely nothing to do with you. If this ever happens to be the case, worry not even for a single bit. The truth is, there are ways you can find closure without your ex’s blessing. Seeking meaning to something that was meaningless, to begin with, will only end up hurting our next relationship. Therefore, instead of crying over spilled milk, try cutting your loss, then head right back to the shop and get some more milk, metaphorically speaking. And as you do this, learn how to forgive, forget and move on. Accepting the fact that we all make mistakes will make the forgiving part much easier. Sometimes, leaving a break up in the hands of God is all we are required to do. And once we do that, we’ll end up finding the closure we’ve been looking for. So, whether you are a girl or guy who doesn’t understand why a lover became an ex and doesn’t want to talk to them, worry not. Just accept that the relationship wasn’t meant to be and move on. With that kind of perspective, you’ll find closure and happiness once again. And if your beau from your previous relationship doesn’t want anything to do with you, then don’t bother them. Accepting the outcome is enough to give you your much-needed closure. And once you’ve healed, you can find yourself a new beau, hold hands with him or her and together, sing kumbaya as you skip into the sunset.
5. Find closure by getting rid of things linking you to ex
Just like I mentioned before, sometimes you don’t need to have a conversation with an ex in order to successfully move on to your next relationship. The crux of the matter is that there are plenty of toxic people in the world and your ex might just be one of them. And if that’s the case, then reaching out to them will only end up causing more damage than good. It would, therefore, be a good idea for you to cut all the links you might have with your ex. You can then carry out a thorough self-evaluation and find where you went wrong and fix yourself prior to your next relationship. Take as much as time as you need before making yourself emotionally available. And once you’re ready to date again, everything will be perfect since you took enough time to heal the wounds from your past relationship. It is only after finding the closure that one can find meaning and happiness in a new relationship. And if you are still wondering how you can effectively get rid of an ex, just know that it’s quite easy. First, block him or her from all your social media pages. Since the relationship is over and done with, there is no need for the two of you keep seeing each other. You can also change your number since your ex might end up drunk texting you and ruin your night.
6. Up and move from a past relationship
All break ups are nasty. But some break ups happen to be nastier than others. And for that matter, we need to learn how to maintain focus after a toxic relationship takes a tumble. This is the only way we can analyze the extent of the damage we incurred. Once we do this, we will realize what is expected in order for us to heal fully and move on successfully. Sometimes, the pain of a breakup is so intense to the point that everything you see reminds you of the relationship. If this happens, don’t beat yourself up. Consider moving to another place instead. Putting down roots elsewhere has been known to help people to effectively move on too much better things life has to offer. Moving is a decision that needs to be well thought if at all you want to be successful going about it. Staying occupied is always a good thing because you won’t have to worry about your mind is idle. You’ll even realize that you aren’t wasting valuable time thinking about an ex – a guy or a girl. Before relocating, it would be wise to have a conversation with someone about it. He or she might help you come up with less but equally effective ways to get over a break up because in most cases, moving is usually a big, life-altering step.
7. Forget past relationships by starting new ones
When your heart is broken, sometimes you are better off leaving the pieces on the floor and finding yourself a new heart. The truth of the matter is relationships start and relationship end. Some succeed, others just bite the dust. And if you end up getting hurt in the process of a relationship coming to an end, always remember to give it time. Time is always the best cure for just about anything. If you can’t find closure from a previous toxic relationship through dialogue, then just give it time. You’d be better off focusing on yourself and preparing for your next relationship. You won’t even need to find meaning in what your previous relationship was about or what it meant to teach you. Sometimes you are better off just dropping everything and leaving without a care in the world and learn to give it time. Sometimes, time is all you need in order to find your well-deserved closure.
8. Get closure by giving it time
The best way to get over a relationship with a guy or a girl who broke your heart is by giving it time. Again, if you can’t have a deep, meaningful conversation with your ex after the break up, then, by all means, find closure and move on without paying any mind to them. It’s always better to find closure after getting all the answers you seek, but that’s doesn’t mean you can’t find closure nonetheless. Just make sure you are moving on with someone much better and more mature for your own sake. Also, try not to repeat the same mistakes you made in your past relationship. That’s the only way you’ll thrive and find true happiness. Moving on without talking to your bitter ex might seem impossible especially if you had a deep connection. But if you give it time, you’ll be surprised by how easy it will be. It is, therefore, a brilliant idea for you to keep on trying to find closure and with time until you’ll definitely succeed. You’ll also be required to do something constructive with while you are at it. You can decide to hit the gym or learn a new language. Even better, you can embark on traveling and seeing the world.
9. Cut off any mutual friends
Sometimes closure may come in the form of cutting off anyone attaching you to your ex and by extension, the hurt of your previous relationship. This includes your mutual friends. It’s always hard to focus and get closure when you know jolly too well that someone is bound to talk about your ex. And even worse, they might resolve to talk about your ex’s recent escapades which will end up ruining your vibe. And since asking your mutual friends to stop talking about your ex under such circumstances may come off as bitter, the best option will always be cutting them off altogether. Meaning they’ll have to understand you need ample time to heal. Once you have given it time and finally found closure after the break up, you can then resume communication with the mutual friends. You can also do the same with the guy or girl with whom you broke things off with. And for you to pull this off, you’ll be required to learn how to listen and be genuine with your emotions and feelings. You should also learn how to avoid them on social media platforms. Instead of blocking them, you can consider deactivating your account and take time to heal while seeking closure.
10. Find closure by making peace
Sometimes a break up being marred with animosity is the reason why one can’t find closure. And that’s also why carrying out an in-depth soul searching is an important aspect of moving on from a past relationship. Therefore, once both of you have calmed down, you can have a conversation that will bring the both of you closure. Talk about what went wrong and give suggestions on how each of you can improve from the other’s point of view. After that, forgive each other and find closure and move on with your lives.
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Finding closure after a failed relationship takes time, meaning you’ll have to go through a roller-coaster of emotions first. Whenever you feel emotional, learn to fight through it. It’s always a wise to keep off an ex until you are over the break up, the pain and the drama. And once you are past these emotions, the next thing you can do is reaching out to your ex. Always remember that closure is all about you and not your ex. Therefore, if you feel it’s time to find closure, feel free to contact the guy or girl first. It’s not a competition to see who makes contact first or who doesn’t. Also, there are times an ex wouldn’t want to reach out and have that all-important conversation. If this ever happens to you, just brush your shoulder off and move on. Truth be told, there are plenty of ways you can find closure without your ex. In fact, I would advise you not to reach out especially if your ex-lover happens to be more toxic than Chernobyl. Always remember you are stronger than you give yourself credit! Good luck!