Texting 101: Start And Sustain A Conversation With A Guy

It's not enough that he's "interesting," know his principles!

By Hana O.
Texting 101: Start And Sustain A Conversation With A Guy

Ladies, you've spotted a guy who catches your attention. Now what? Gone are the days when it was left to the men to approach women that fancy them. Today, if you see someone you wish to get to know more, nothing is stopping you from walking over and starting a conversation. With a few tips and tricks here and there, you can gain the confidence and smooth skills to engage in hearty dialogue with someone.

How Do I Know If A Guy Is Interesting Enough At First Glance?

Everyone has varying preferences when it comes to interest. Some ladies prefer blonde hair or a bulky physique while others like dark-haired men or those who wear suits. It's really up to your type, which directly affects a particular guy's chances to be interesting at first glance.


The first glance is much dependent on outward appearance. You're physically attracted to him because he has the features that interest you. From his smile, eyes, hair, hands, outfit, you name it, a guy who fits your type will pique your interest.

How Do I Approach Him?

Find ways to interact with him but make it subtle. You can go the question approach, wherein you ask him something to get his attention. Ask what he's drinking, eating, or something non-committal and neutral.


You can also initiate small talk - comment about the game, service of the restaurant, music in the club, and the like. It's all about being sneaky, at this point. Use the surroundings to your advantage.


Pretend you know him from somewhere, "accidentally bump into him," or go the direct approach and give him a smile and a wave. You can also try addressing his friends first if he's with a group. You won't be as nervous since they don't disarm you as he does.

What Are The Important Aspects/Traits/Perspectives That I Should Look Out For When Interested In A Guy?

The guy's outer appearance and overall charm might be making butterflies flutter in your stomach, but there are a few essential traits, perspectives, or aspects you should look out for someone catches your fancy. His scent, fashion sense, and physical fitness may have gotten a perfect score on your rating, but the interest could quickly jump into something more serious.


Are you looking for something long term, a partner, perhaps? If the answer is yes, then things get more substantial. You would want someone mature, open, honest, and makes you laugh. That's just the tip of the iceberg, though. Here are a few more traits.

He Is Kind And Understanding

This is a crucial yet often compromised trait that is important to look out for. It is also something that is shown not when his best foot is placed forward. Kindness and understanding lie underneath and are either present or missing in one's character. These are also the traits that a long-term relationship should be founded on for it to be successful.

You can't deny the similarities

While they say opposites attract, it is also the similarities you two share that sparks the interest in the first place. Similarities can occur in so many ways, such as fashion style, interior design style, hobbies, cars, sports, movies, books, passions, and so on. These similarities establish good communication and connection in the relationship.

There is stability

Emotional stability is another good trait to look out for because someone quick to get angry, has a temper, or is moody could be challenging to be with. Of course, this doesn't mean that the person doesn't experience emotion, but he knows how to control and maintain balance while amid the storm.

How Do I Get A Guy To Start Talking To Me?

Let's say there's a guy who interests you because you feel like he has many of the traits mentioned above, and you want to get to know him to confirm, but how are you going to get him to start? You can begin by approaching him with the tips and tricks mentioned above and then following up with these steps.

Initiate conversation

Take note of what he's said thus far after approaching him, then initiate conversation. Build on shared interests and go from there. You might even share a few hobbies and interests.

Give him signs

There are times when guys are dense. They, too, are very much intimidated and find it difficult to approach women. You might need to flirt a bit to boost his confidence so he could begin the conversation.

Plant the seed

Chances are, you won't be together the whole time and would soon have to part ways. If you don't have a connected circle of friends or acquaintances, you would need to get his details to stay in touch. Instagram, Facebook, or other social media platforms are a good, subtle way to start, in case asking for his number seems too aggressive at the moment.


You can even grab the opportunity and ask him for a selfie. Hint that you will be posting it on your IG account, and he could ask you to tag him or offer to do so. There are many ways to get the details you need to ensure continued communication.

Be available

Let's say you've gotten his details. You can make an initial follow-through with a, "Hey, it's me, the girl you met at (insert location)," to remind him of your identity. It will then be your decision to initiate future conversation or wait for him to message first. If he messages first, reply as soon as you can. Make yourself available because interest can fade, and playing hard to get is a double-edged sword.

How do I keep the conversation interesting and going?

There are many ways to ensure your conversation with someone is interesting enough to continue. You can:

Ask questions that don't have a "yes" or "no" answer

You can ask, "what are your passions?" instead of asking, "do you like cooking?" Open-ended questions are great conversation starters and catalysts for it to continue. You can ask him about his interests to give you more topics to open in the future.

Focus on one interesting topic

Let's say you picked up that the guy likes cars. You can zero in on this and ask him to expound. To make it foolproof, you can pick a topic that you both are interested in, so there can be some healthy debate if you don't see eye to eye on some things.

Open up about yourself

Here's another excellent way to keep the conversation going and confirm if he shares mutual interest and attraction. Open up a bit about yourself, such as your background, and see how he reacts. You can quickly tell if he's keen on knowing more because he too is attracted to you.

Compliment him

This technique goes a long way in keeping a conversation going, although it needs to be used sparingly because it might make it seem like you're throwing yourself onto someone. You can compliment him genuinely on what he does, his goals, ambitions, dreams, accomplishments, and so on.

Touch on current events

One way to hold a conversation and make sure there's more to come would be to subtly comment about an upcoming event, say a concert, and ask if the other person was attending. Who knows, by the end of the discussion, you've got yourself a date.

Be yourself

And last, but certainly not least, you need to be yourself right from the very start because this is who you are, and that is what you're exposing to the guy who interests you. This is what will capture his attention and plant the seed for the conversation to grow into something more.


It is important that since we are talking about texting and holding a conversation, it's best to stick to the proper style of texting in a grammatical sense (since you're are only getting to know one another). It's also highly recommended to proofread what you text just if the message could be received the wrong way.


Furthermore, one should know when to end the conversation. Don't force yourself on someone or try to bleed the conversation dry. By giving yourselves some space, you can refresh and jump right back in the next time.

What Would Make A Guy Not Want To Talk To Me?

This part is the hard truth that must be said. There would be moments when you are head over heels for someone, yet things don't work out as you planned. While many reasons could lead to this situation, here are a few frequently stated ones worth mentioning.


The first one would be being too clingy and making your world revolve around him. From messaging him constantly and not giving him any space or just being too available, which shows that you might not have a life outside the guy, if the guy feels like you would be a handful right at the start, he might not want to continue talking to you.


He might have also discovered along the way that your lifestyles are just not on the same page. While this could be addressed and a balance achieved, some deem this to be a deal-breaker.


If a guy stops talking to you, the bottom-line could mean that he is just not interested. You might not be his type, and there's not much you can do about it. His attention might also be on someone else, which is why he doesn't respond. The quickest way to confirm this would be to ask him directly because he might confirm your speculations, or he's just busy at the moment.

Related Article: 9 Ways to Recover From a Failed Conversation Starter
9 Ways to Recover From a Failed Conversation Starter

Despondent after you have failed to impress her (or him)?


These simple and straightforward ways to approach someone, start a conversation, and keep it going, eliminate the excuse that the guy who catches your fancy did not talk to you first. The ball is in your hands, and you can now do something about it. You can take full control and spearhead the exchange, or you can guide how things go along the way. Still, you gave it a shot, and that's all that counts.