Step Back, Honey: I Still Love You But, Do NOT Touch Me

Some of you may wonder if “Is it essential to have sex for a relationship to work out?” or “Is it possible for a person to love another without being comfortable with physical contact or sex?” 

It is an accepted idea that love needs physical intimacy to flourish. Even though physical nearness and intimacy are what turns a platonic emotional relationship into a passionate and engaging one, physical intimacy cannot be put on the pedestal as the only essentiality for love.  

A marriage, however, demands more than just love and understanding. A marriage is a lifetime commitment that needs sincerity, respect, compromises, and strength to face the ups and downs. In marriage physical intimacy differentiates a romantic partnership from a platonic one. 

Conversely, if there is a contrast in the wants of the partners the contrasting views can cause much damage to their relationship. So even when they will claim to love each other a dagger of distance continues to draw between them. The partner that wants physical intimacy gets hurt and feels lost by the lack in the long-term which is only fair. 

Humans have carnal needs that only intensify with the person they love. The ruling passion is hard to curb and reasonably it should not be curbed when marriage is something that needs both emotional and physical bonding to work properly.

However, sexual intimacy is not just about sex it also involves the genuine closeness and comfort of your relationship. It is of importance to be physically comfortable with your partner to make the marriage work. 

On the other hand, literal sexual intimacy serves as essentiality of your healthy marital bond. It ignites and strengthens the passion you feel for each other and also brings the wanted energy as a couple. For many couples, sexual intimacy plays the role of straw for drowning men. In times of crisis and struggle it gives the couple the energy and reason to hold on. Sexual intimacy has a cyclical effect on the couple’s life. If the sex life is good it can bring satiety and happiness to the couple’s life. But if the sex life is unsatisfied and poor it can pull the partners into depression and brings aloofness between them. At times a discontented sex life leads to broken homes and marriages.

If your wife is not interested in sex you might want to fumble through your mind for the possible reasons which are making your wife say no to physical intimacy. The solutions to a number of possible reasons are listed below.

It’s important to be emotionally indulged with your wife to make her feel loved and cared for. Understand her heart and connect on the emotional level with her. 

Your partner might have appeared too much on her plate to think of sex. When women are emotionally overwhelmed they tend to be distracted and sex becomes the last thing on her mind. For them, there is always too much responsibility to be taken care of. For men, sex usually is a pleasant diversion and a way of feeling unconstrained. For women, distractions make sex nearly impossible.

Your partner might not be getting what she wants from her sex-life. When sexual needs are not met there is always the withdrawal response. Converse with her about her needs and wants. Ask if she has been feeling any deficiency in your sex-life. Look for the problem and find a solution to it. Inquire here about the things that act as a hiatus in her wants and the things that help her feel relaxed. 

Have you been taking care of your looks properly? Your looks can be a great accelerator for your wife in feeling attracted to you. A well-dressed, attractive partner who oozes confidence acts as a magnet. Get to a gym if that’s what your body needs. Make effort to look and even smell good. 

Women love romantic cues and cozy intimate behaviors. Take her out on a date. Watch the sunset with her. Ask her for a dance. Give her a relaxing massage. You can even brew coffee for her and cook food! All this might make her want to initiate sex.

Women function differently than men. While after a tired frustrating day men might want intimacy women on the other hand with all their worries and woes want to be listened to first. Give her time and lend her an ear. Don’t jump to sexual intimacy without an emotional one.

Women tend to withdraw from sex and body-showing when they start feeling uneasy and ashamed of their body or simply if they are running low on self-esteem and confidence. So, even if she is not in her best figure hold her hand. Make her believe you do not want her body and it does not matter to you how she looks. If she wants to achieve a perfect body, make her believe in herself and stay by her side. Make her feel confident. 

She might be in need of visual cues. That does not mean her love for you has faltered. Sometimes even physical appearances act as a stimulus when it comes to attraction. 

If a woman is wanted just for her body this could be a very demeaning thing for her. They tend to withdraw from sex if they feel unloved. Before asking and initiating sex, make her feel loved. Make her believe that you love her with all your heart and her heart is what matters the most to you.

Sexual intimacy can converse your genuine feelings of love to your partner but before that capturing her heart is more important. Connection on an emotional level is the foremost thing for women. Women have a very explicit wish for romance and intimate moments that speak of love.  

You can express your love to her by being there for her. When you are with the person you love in sickness and in health, in adversity and in happiness your actions serve as an open declaration of love.

• Always listen to her and take care of her wishes.
• Read her heart and eyes. Try to know what she wants. However trivial the thing is, give her that. Even if it’s a stuffed toy or a box of chocolates!
• Give her surprises. Even a simple bouquet or a dinner date makes her feel over the moon.
• Use small gestures of love like tucking a tuft of hair behind her ear lovingly or massaging her feet after a sprint of strenuous work in heels.
• Let her know what you feel about her and that your love is unconditional and irrevocable.
• Make her believe she is the best thing that happened to you in this lifetime and she is the forever one for you.
• Tell her you can never find someone better for her and you want her to be by your side in this lifetime and after.

Sometimes the partners get so engrossed in their busy schedules that they hardly get time to spend with each other. The constant burden, the tiring monotonous routine, and the unending responsibilities leave them feeling frustrated and abandoned. Every couple passes through this phase once in a while or at some point in life. That is when the couple is in needs to be re-struck by Cupid's arrow. Even when love stays around for a long time and has the strength to face the storms, it still needs actions and time to be felt and rekindled.

Sexual intimacy unquestionably plays a huge role in rekindling the lost spark of your relationship. Many times, the intimacy acts like the tempest of love between the couple that erases all the distances between them that might have existed due to any reason! An affectionate touch every once in a while, an affectionate kiss out of the blue, and occasional surprise hugs work like magic in a monotonous relationship. Sexual intimacy can revive the feelings of lost love or distance if both the partners acquiesce to the act. 

A story cut short, the feelings of love might still exist without sex in marriage but the lack of intimacy does damage the marital relationship one way or another. So if a couple is lacking sexual intimacy in their marriage or if it is not pleasing they should find the problems and solve them together. If a couple stays genuine in their relationship they can conquer every plain and every summit.