Selfish People: 20 Ways To Deal With Them Before They Hurt You
We all have a bit of selfishness in us as human beings, but some are vicious kind of selfish.Here are 20 ways to deal with this kind of people.
Jul 24, 2018
Selfishness is all around
As a human being, selfishness comes naturally to us. Generally, we tend to do it subconsciously, like saving the biggest slice of our favorite pizza for ourselves or hiding the leftover of our favorite dish, so that we can enjoy it later. We all have done this at some point in our lives. But, this doesn’t make us that miserable kind of selfish people. If you are looking for real selfish people, then these activities won’t count. Selfish people are mean, greedy, vile, and miserable. You can go on and on about how malicious they can when they're working. If they want to achieve something, then they can stoop to an all-time low to accomplish that. It is really hard to deal with these monstrous kinds of selfish people, but you will have to. Otherwise, they will ruin your life even before you realize what’s going wrong!
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Selfish people-above all definition
If you have a friend who is selfish, then it is high time that you leave them alone and move on in your life. They are your friend because they need you, the moment they are done with you; they will move on to find someone else. Selfish people are the worst kinds of friends one can have for them. Selfish people, to boost their own morale, will destroy other people's confidence and make them feel like losers. You might be thinking, 'these selfish friends are vicious!' Yes, they are, and they far more than this. This kind of selfish people can take the guise of the most helpful and innocent person while befriending a person. So, it is difficult to get to know them on the very first go. But, by the time you will realize how they are then it’s too late because they have already taken you into their grasp. Therefore, when you are meeting new people or going out with someone it is better that you take some time before allowing someone into your life. If you are going out with someone and thinking of him as your future husband, you should verify whether he falls into the selfish people category or not! If your husband has the characteristics of a selfish person, then it will be a nightmare for you to live your life with him. All selfish people have a specific definition, and you cannot compare any one with another. But, these selfish people share one common trait, and that is they enjoy their success at any cost. They always have the best for themselves even when they know that they don’t deserve it. They would snatch away everything that is beautiful from others and keep it for themselves. Not sure whether you are surrounded by selfish people or not. Read these 20 ways to deal with them before they hurt you.
1. Perceiving the selfish people
The very first thing that you need to do is to recognize the selfish people. You will have to spot them beforehand so that you can deal with them before they start using you as a pawn. They can be just about anybody; they can be your friend, husband, colleague, etc. Unknowingly, you could be helping them in realizing their dreams that is not good at all for you. If you are in a serious relationship with these kinds of vicious monsters, then don’t expect them to love you back or show as much commitment as you do. There are chances that you will get hurt and depressed at the end when you get into a relationship with these selfish people. Just memorize their characteristic and always try to stay away from them.
How to spot these monsters?
You will have to mingle for some time with them before you get to know them personally. Initially, they will be the nicest human being on the planet and will confide in you about something very serious. They will win your confidence so that you cannot guess their real intentions. Here are some ways of identifying these vile and mean kinds of selfish people.
1. They always act special
These selfish people are always seeking attention and would do everything possible to make people treat them in a special manner. They feel that they deserve all the attention of the world as they are a very important person in everyone’s life. They will make sure that you treat them differently and will always ask you for some favor or the other in a manner as if you were born to serve them.
2. Never return favors
Once they are done with you, they will not even acknowledge you unless they need your help again. You can never make them do something for you no matter how trivial it is. They have the knack to evade your request citing some problem, and they are never thankful for what you have done for them.
3. Their imaginary friends
They will always refer to a huge friend circle of theirs, but won’t introduce you to them. He will make you believe that he knows everybody, but you will rarely see them in conversation with your selfish friend. They make tall claims, but often fail to live up to them.
4. Makes you look small
The selfish people have this amazing characteristic of making others look small and bane in front of them. No matter how interesting your story is they will make up another story to bring you down and make your effort look so small. If you have come across a friend like this, then it is time to put on your running shoes and run as fast as you can from them before they can catch hold of you.
Various other ways of dealing with selfish people
We already know that in order to deal with these selfish friends or husband or significant other, we need to spot them at the earliest.But, once you are done with the spotting here are other ways of dealing with these selfish people.
2. Explain the definition of selfishness
If you are not a selfish giant, then it would be very difficult for you to behave in a selfish manner even to the evil person. But, if you want to make these selfish people realize how bad they are, then you will have to give them a taste of their own medicine. Don’t think that they will learn from their mistake, but they will definitely not try to trick you again or ask you for any favor.
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3. Selfish people are excessively friendly
They will be excessively friendly with you and be all nice when they are meeting you for the first time. When they are meeting you for the first time and then they will start spitting their venom. So, beware of the characteristic of a selfish friend.
4. Winning them over
Sometimes, people turn selfish because they have been cheated by someone in the past. So, in order to safeguard them from getting hurt once again, they use their selfishness as a protected wall. This mainly happens with people who have been through a bad marriage, where they were taken advantage of by their selfish husbands. If you can win their confidence and let them know that you won’t hurt them, then they will break the shield of selfishness and come out of it. They might turn into you best friend as well. Therefore, it is important that you not only spot the selfish people but also get to know their past story.
5. Mutual settlement with the selfish husband
It is not easy to break a marriage, just because your husband possesses selfish characteristics. You will have to come to a settlement and make things work so that your relationship with your husband is not affected badly. So, how do you save your marriage and also make your husband understand that he also needs to invest his time and energy into this relationship? It’s simple. Tell him to take turns. If you are doing something for him, then ask your husband to return the favor. Make your selfish husband understand how things need to be worked out so that both of you can handle the relationship without many confrontation.
6. Try ignoring them
It is not an easy thing to do and especially when you are surrounded by selfish friends, but the best way out is ignoring them completely. When your selfish friend will notice that they are not able to work out anything with you, they will simply stop bothering you.
7. Explain their characteristic
There are times when people do certain things without realizing that they are on the verge of being called selfish. Just go ahead and make them realize, what they are doing and how it is being perceived by others. If they are asking for favors unintentionally, then they will stop. If they are actually selfish, then they will move on to someone else other than you because they have understood that you know their intention now.
8. Be prepared to fight
If you are confronting a selfish person, then most probably they won’t take your accusation lying down. So, you must be prepared for the showdown. Once you are at it, don’t back out and let the selfish person win over you just by shouting at you.
9. Face the selfish person in a group
If you are not comfortable facing the selfish friend of yours all alone, then gather some old friends who have also suffered due to this selfish person and then talk to him or her. It will help when you are there in a group.
10. Make use of your sense
Okay, you know that this person is selfish, so why do you want to listen to what they have to say? Leave them alone. You can use your maturity and sense to figure out whether you should help these kinds of people or just leave them. Let the situation and your own sense decide for yourself.
11. Don’t expect a ‘thank you’ from them
If at all you have to help selfish people then don’t expect them to appreciate your effort or be considerate towards you. They can be generous for a moment, but for the major part, they remain an ignorant human being who lacks the skill of thoughtfulness and willingness.
12. Shift the attention towards you
If your husband or friend is a selfish person, then most likely, they are seeking attention all the time, and you don’t get enough time to think about yourself? If yes, then it is the time to divert all the attention towards you and never ignore your needs. If your husband or friend is not giving you the attention you deserve, then why waste all your time in understanding their need and working accordingly?
13. Keep your values intact
Not everybody is born with the same values; therefore, you will find several people who think selfishness is an act of smartness. But, don’t let them fool you. If you are not a selfish person, then don’t become one just for the sake of it.
14. Give them a reality check
These selfish people are always engrossed in themselves. It doesn’t matter to them whether you are speaking about them or not because they will steer every conversation towards them. Therefore, it is important to mince every word you say and let them know that not everything is meant for them.
15. Talk about your interests
If your selfish friend is talking about something that is of their interest, then make sure that you bring up your interests as well while conversing. If you keep on interrupting them with our interests and don’t let them win over your conversation, then they will run away from you in no time.
16. Set a boundary
There are many selfish people out there who love to eat from other’s plate, and when it is time to pay or share the bill, they make excuses. Next time, if you are hanging out with one of these people, then make sure you let them know that you have forgotten your wallet at home, so they have to treat you. They will order less and won’t waste anything.
17. Make them a part of your misery
They would always refuse to listen to what you have to say. But, that doesn’t mean you will give up on your husband. No, you will have to keep on repeating your word unless your husband listens to your misery and help you in resolving it.
18. Ask them for a favor instead
After repeated attempts, if your selfish friend has still not given up on you and is still asking you for a favor, then ask him to do you a favor first. If he tries to manipulate you by saying that you are acting selfishly then show him the mirror. Count the number of times you have done him a favor and let him decide for himself whether he wants to return those favors or want to act selfishly.
19. Look for better friends
Selfish people can be creepy people who like to stick to you because they know if they keep pestering, then, finally, you will oblige. If this is happening for a long time now, then you should distance yourself from this selfish mind immediately. Look for real friends who will value your friendship and won’t take advantage of your soft nature.
20. Restrict the time
Sometimes it is not that easy to stay away from a person just because he or she is selfish. But, you also know that staying with them for a long time means they are going to take advantage of you again and again. So, don’t spend so much of time with them. If you used to hang around with them for hours, then restrict your meeting to the minimum time possible. Avoid taking their calls and also stop replying them back over text.
These are some of the ways to deal with selfish people, but none of these tricks are working on them, then it is better to end your relationship with them. Whether he is your husband or friend or colleague, if they are taking advantage of you, then leave them and move on. If you are married and have to deal with a selfish husband, then try seeking professional help to sort out the difference between you and your husband. If you feel, he is too full of air and doesn’t want to work towards mending the ties then there is no need to hold on to a broken relationship. The definition of a relationship for a selfish person is completely different from that of yours. If you know the definition of true love, then you won't accept this toxic relationship where all your good and positive energy get drained out and at the end, you are left with nothing. It is not easy to be in a relationship where the definition of everything is changed to suit the taste of one person, and you are the one who is giving and the other one is only interested in receiving. Why bother about them, if they can’t love you back?