Wanna become a vampire? Here’s how
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Times are clearly changing fast. With the death of all the vampire hunters (with the exception of Vin Diesel), we are getting to see a lot of vampires on the prowl. In fact, becoming a vampire is an accepted practice in some parts of the world. That said, anyone who feels like he or she wants to be a vampire only needs to list a few things that they need to do and they can proceed. There are countless procedures and rituals that people can carry out with the ultimate intent being turning. These procedures may include having fang implants, a total change of diet and wardrobes or casting of spells. In short, for one to become a vampire, they have to be prepared to undergo a total overhaul in every aspect of their lives. There are many popular spells that can change real life Toms, Dicks and Harrys into vampires who crawl out of their coffins in the wee hours of the night to “feed”. It, therefore, goes without saying that a lot of preparation goes into becoming a vampire. And for that matter, one has to be fully prepared and 100% sure of this before trying it out. Without further ado, here are some of the popular rituals that can be used to turn any human into a vampire. No kidding.
1. Become a vampire through spell casting
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The first place must be willing to go before you become a vampire is none other than the dark side. There are a good number of spells you can use in your bid to becoming a vampire. Of course, there are different kinds of spells, meaning you’ll have to pick the spell you feel will work best for you. Again, you need to be 100% sure that your ultimate goal in life is turning. This is because there is no turning back once you choose this lifestyle. My advice would, therefore be, taking your time and carrying out all the research you need. Get some blood, a badge, and an element of black magic to represent the darkness associated with a vampire’s lifestyle. Again, you have to be courageous and ballsy when casting such a strong spell because that’s what becoming a vampire is all about. As you carry out the spell, your thoughts must be aligned with exactly what you want to become. That way, the universe will align itself with your wishes and in the end, give you exactly what you want. The transformation might take a day or several days. The duration of the spell depends on how you carry out the vampire ritual. If you aren’t sure about it, then don’t do it because it will involve a lot of pain, endurance, and guts.
2. Becoming a vampire means a change in diet
This is the hardest part of becoming a vampire. As we all know – thanks to the many vampire movies – a vampire can only live on blood or energy. There are those sadistic vampires on a strict human blood diet while others feed on animal blood. That said, before becoming a real-life vampire, you need to make a list of cuisines you love and see if you are willing to let go. It is going to be a hard decision to make. But then again, you will have no other choice but to comply if you are passionate about becoming a vampire. Besides, everything in life is complicated and hard and that’s why you are always required to work hard in order to get what you want. More often than not, this will include sacrificing luxuries that you love – that will include good food. You should also figure out where you’ll be getting the fresh blood to complete your diet. You should also consider seeing your physician before switching up your diet. You need to be cleared by a doctor because you don’t want to get sick or have allergic reactions – which is quite the opposite of what to expect from a vampire. You also need to find a certified blood bank where you can access clean, screened blood that is safe for consumption. That said, carrying out thorough research is mandatory.
3. Luck can increase chances of becoming a vampire
Certain circumstances can increase your chances of becoming a real-life vampire. My advice is, therefore, to keep looking into these circumstances especially those that surrounded your birthday. There might include being born extra hairy, a family curse, etc. If your mother hadn’t consumed enough salt during her pregnancy, then you might have a much better chance of becoming a vampire. Again, a lot of in-depth research has to be done before declaring yourself fit for becoming a vampire. Vampirism is definitely a risky lifestyle. Therefore, you need to take all the necessary precautions before even considering becoming one. If your mother was into vampirism and had a vampire stare at her during your birth or pregnancy, then your chances of becoming one are very high. Also, if you are the seventh of seven sons and got weaned before time, you have a better chance of becoming a real-life vampire. Being born during a full moon or a holy day has significance when it comes to vampirism. The same also applies when you were born with defects such as red birthmarks. It is believed to mean that you’ve been touched by a vampire or something supernatural.
4. Become a vampire using talismans/trinkets
You can make a list of countless vampire trinkets or talismans that can be used to turn a human into a real-life vampire. It is believed that such vampire trinkets always bear supernatural power. And hence when used, they can easily fulfill your dream of becoming a vampire. My advice is that when you decide to use vampire trinkets, try seeking help from people who have real knowledge about them! The last thing you need is some dude with zero knowledge swindling you. If you happen to know a real-life vampire, you can always ask for help. Chances are that the experienced vampire not only knows where to find authentic trinkets. They are also likely to teach you all about the unique strengths that each talisman bears. These vampires also know a bagful of tricks on how to survive the drastic transformation you are about to undergo. As already stated, these trinkets have really strong magic, meaning that you have to tread carefully when using any vampire trinkets. It is wise to focus on doing a lot of practice before using the talismans for your transformation. That way, you’ll avoid getting yourself into situations that are likely to cause your transformation to backfire. And since backfiring can only mean dire consequences, it goes without saying that you need to be super careful.
5. Mix your blood with a vampire’s blood
Just in case you are as afraid of a vampire bite as I am of a human bite, then you should consider mixing your blood with vampire blood. The advantage here is that you don’t need to use a lot of vampire blood for this to work. Just a quarter of a teaspoonful is enough to initiate the process of turning. The good news is that you don’t need to inject yourself with vampire blood in order to transform. As long as you have the guts to ingest it, then you are good to go. Remember, it is important for the vampire to accept your blood in case you are up for a bite. Without his or her consent, all your efforts will be useless. It is for this reason that you need to find a real-life vampire and start negotiating. The good thing is that the vampire can always give you useful tips on how to thrive in your newfound supernatural lifestyle. For the umpteenth time, a vampire lifestyle is a difficult one. Therefore, seeking advice from a real-life vampire will always be super helpful.
6. Turn into a vampire through a bite
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This has to be the scariest option on any ‘how to become a vampire’ list. At the same time, conversion through a vampire bite seems to be the most popular. This is because it has been popularized thanks to popular movies and thriller novels. Therefore, if you are the kind of person who isn’t afraid of being bitten and turned by a vampire, then, by all means, do so. You should consider linking up with a real-life vampire and doing the necessary. Vampires love fresh blood. So, I recommend for the second time that you find a good place where you can get your regular refills. Be cautious because if you get turned by a psychotic vampire, you might end up being drained in the name of getting turned! Ha-ha, I am just messing with you. But my point is, find a good vampire who will do the necessary without the unnecessary spooking drama. Sometimes vampires just like spooking people so they can feed on your energy through fear. And once you have been bitten, prepare to go into a trancelike state as your body begins its transformation. Remember to follow the instructions from your vampire mentor because the transformation can be a brutal experience. Having an experienced eye to see you through the transformation is paramount. Once you turn into a vampire, you will also need someone to give you guidance on how to survive.
7. Become a vampire through psychological affiliation
From the entire list, I have to admit that this must be my favorite way of becoming a vampire. This is despite the fact that my chances of joining the club still lie between highly unlikely and never. The good thing is that you don't need to perform any sensitive, dark, or disgusting rituals that might end up upsetting the balance of nature. I also prefer it because you won’t have to give up juicy steaks and king-size beer schooners every Friday. In order to become a vampire with this method, all you need to do is read from vampirism texts on a regular basis. Apparently, vampires are so cool that anyone can easily fall in love with their lifestyle just by reading. Make sure you are reading all about their cool superpowers which include super speed, night vision, heightened sense of smell and so forth. If you keep on reading about the vampires, you’ll automatically start thinking and acting like a real-life vampire. Again, this is the safest way of becoming a vampire and it goes without saying that I advocate for it the most.
8. Become a vampire “randomly”
There are plenty of vices you can engage in and end up becoming a vampire unknowingly. For instance, stealing ropes used to lower a coffin into the grave can turn you into one. Advice – I wouldn’t recommend visiting a graveyard and disrupting it simply because it’s very disrespectful to the dead. Strive to be a vampire with some self-respect for crying out loud! You can also increase your chances of becoming a vampire by attending church or praying while harboring sin in your heart. If you do these things – which includes generally leading an immoral lifestyle – you’ll end up creating a conducive aura that can easily turn you into a vampire. I personally wouldn’t recommend leading an immoral life just because you want to become a vampire. Truth is, there are plenty of harmless ways on this list and you can always pick a way that doesn’t leave your soul tainted, even though that’s the whole point of becoming a vampire.
9. Become a vampire through spiritual awakening
In this case, finding a good vampire mentor is crucial and should, therefore, be your number one goal. First, you’ll be required to know where to find a good and experienced vampire. I still insist that he or she has to be a friendly one who has no interest in spooking or “drinking” you for whatever reason. By finding a good vampire mentor, your spiritual awakening journey will be easier. Your mentor will help raise awareness of the spiritual energy around you. This awareness will also include showing you how to manipulate spiritual energy to your benefit. Apart from the spiritual awakening and manipulation of energy, your vampire mentor is expected to teach you how to survive once you turn. Your mentor will show you where to find blood and how to feed in the event that you want to become a vampire that feeds on energy rather than blood. Trust me, there is an awful lot to learn!
10. Join a vampire support group
You can learn a lot from people who are also looking to switch from the seemingly boring to the vampirism lifestyle. The good thing is that there are plenty of vampire wannabes and enthusiasts in equal measure. Let’s face it, with all the fakes out there it is difficult to tell a fake and a real vampire apart. Therefore, it is much more beneficial to face the challenge as a group rather than doing it all alone. Finding a reliable a support group should, therefore, be your number one priority. A lot of people, each bringing different pieces of information to the table, will make your journey of becoming a vampire much easier. Thankfully, there are a lot of such support groups online. All you need to do is join one and you’ll become a vampire in no time!
11. Hide from the sun
Before you even get to the point of hiding from the sun, getting a nice and comfortable wooden coffin should be your number one concern. Oh, you heard me right! If you want to be a good vampire, then you have to go all the way. You’ll then have to sleep before the sun comes up and crawling out of your coffin when the sun goes down. It will be difficult adjusting your biological clock, especially during the first few days. But you have nothing to worry about because it’s something that’s very achievable and has been done countless times before. Also, make sure you have drilled some holes in your coffin for breathing. P/S - Make sure your friends are aware of the changes in your lifestyle. You don’t to wake up with a wooden stake through your heart or your entire body in flames!
Different people have different reasons for wanting to become vampires. My advice to those willing to make the drastic switch in lifestyle is to take some time to analyze their reasons critically. One needs to question every reason just to be sure if this is exactly what they want. And while still thinking about it, everyone needs to also understand that for every choice, there is always a consequence. Also, create time to analyze both the pros and cons of being a real-life vampire. Even if the cons outweigh the pros and you still feel like becoming a vampire, then, by all means, go for it. Prepare to be judged by people who don’t understand that there is no price greater than living your life on your own terms. That’s exactly how people are and that shouldn’t be your problem. It is also a good idea to talk to your loved ones and make them understand why you decided to become a vampire. Thanks to your decision, a lot of people’s lives, especially those close to you, will be turned upside down. Therefore, the least you can do is prepare them psychologically before taking the leap of faith into the exciting world of vampirism. Personally, I wouldn’t imagine sacrificing real food for human or animal blood. But if the idea floats your boat, then I don’t see why not! But just know in advance that neither me, my kin, nor my kith will be donating blood for you to store in your kitchen refrigerators. And now that we are clear on that, all I can say is - happy turning!