10 Ways To Tell If A Girl You Are Interested In Is Gay

This article is about how to tell if a girl you are interested in is gay. It also provides 10 key ways to determine sexual preference for the girl you admire.

By AmyTheOracle
10 Ways To Tell If A Girl You Are Interested In Is Gay

So You Like This Girl...

With the world changing and equality arising, more and more people are being honest and proudly announcing to the public about who they truly are and what their sexual orientations and preferences are. It is now becoming a social norm and because of that, I feel everyone should be more open-minded when they consider dating. Something I tell everyone is you as an individual should be more aware of this change in our social environment and not automatically assume that the person we are interested in is straight or has a straight sexual preference. I know sometimes you believe you just know and that you can tell they're totally straight, but sometimes it's a lot harder to tell an individual's orientation than you think. So keep in mind readers, guys and girls, bi, lesbian and gay, that with that being said you can't go off the bat assuming everyone is gay either, especially if you are gay or of that orientation yourself. With equality, there is no forcing ideas, beliefs or even forcing yourselves on others if they do not agree or share the same beliefs or opinions.

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Gay Labels and Stereotypes

When it comes to sexual orientation, not everyone labels themselves outwardly. Some people like to keep such sensitive information to themselves. Sometimes it is best to secretly enjoy your sexual preferences instead of shouting it out to the world. You would be quite surprised by who truly is gay and doesn't show their sexual preference through their external appearance or without it being said immediately. People have created this stigma or stereotype about bi people, gays, and lesbians. Most assume that these labels are correct and who's to blame them because indeed some are but that's not always the case. People aren't interested in the idea of following a trend of becoming the stigma others believe them to be. Originality is always key, but anyone can be anything so if fitting in that stereotype of a lesbian girl or gay guy, please enjoy yourself. Some people who are interested in lesbians or know about lesbians always believe that they are dressed a specific way or plain-out dress in men's clothing, attire, or style. Some believe they have tattoos and short hair to appear more masculine. There are even crazy ideas or assumptions that lesbians secretly desire to be men. That cannot be further from the truth. Lesbians, like all gay people, come in all different shapes, sizes, and personalities. It's always hard to tell. Though there are some lesbian women who do follow those stereotypes, there are also lesbians who dress and act like regular girls and women. Some people rely on other things to determine a person's sexuality. There are some people who consider themselves to have a "gaydar" and they swear that it is always correct. It's sort of just a sense or feeling someone gets from you or a person that determines whether a girl or guy is gay. Whether it is true that some people have secretly figured out a way to scan someone and tell what they prefer, man or woman, or not, you should ask your friend or person of interest what their sexual preference is rather than assume.

10 Ways To Tell If A Girl You Are Interested In Is Gay

There are plenty of ways to tell someone's sexual orientation, but sometimes we get those shy moments and go through self-torture by raking out minds trying to figure out our crush's sexual interests from afar. So if you're not ready to be too bold too quickly and you're down to do a little investigating and ponder about this, I'll tell you that you've come into some luck because I have something to share with you. These are some helpful tips you can use to tell if she or someone, in general, is gay and what to take into consideration.

1. Check Out The Nails

Lesbians rely heavily on their fingers as tools in their sex lives. This might be a little bit of a stigma that all lesbians don't have long nails but could you imagine those longs acrylic or natural nails scratching at your insides? Not fun or comfortable. So try taking into consideration what their fingernails look like. Are they long and flashy or short and neat? For the lesbians that do have long, sharp nails they are not usually the type to use their fingers to stick inside your lovely guts. I mean if you think about it she'll be the only one receiving pleasure from the inside and that's not very fair.

2. Don't Make Assumptions

This is a double-sided sword. I can tell you all you need to know how to figure out if the girl you're interested in is gay but like with everything you should always take these tips with a grain of salt. You can't go and automatically assume that you have no chance because you think she's gay, or that she isn't. Sometimes its just really hard to tell and I understand that completely. Assumptions don't help anyone. Always be aware that everything is a possibility. Be hopeful and positive!

3. Note How She Acts Around Men/Women

I feel like this is a huge clue to finding out whether or not she's gay. If she is obviously flirtatious around men more than she is women than I can tell you that it is more than likely that she is not gay. If it is pretty equal with both, then she might be bisexual. Obviously, if a charming, handsome man doesn't attract any of her attention or catch her eye whatsoever, then I can tell you that indeed, yes you guessed it she is gay.

4. Mention An LGBT Event

Another great way to tell if she is gay and where she stands on her sexuality is to mention an LGBT event or activity in the community. More than likely, if she's gay she'll be down to go and participate.

5. Do They Talk About The Same Gender More Frequently Than The Opposite Gender?

Okay guys let me tell you this; usually, if a girl talks more about women or just plain-out revolves her interests, discussions, goals etc. around women she's probably strongly bisexual or straight-out gay/lesbian. (See what I did there?) :P The same goes for girls who talk about guys all the time. I can tell you just by observing their conversations, interests, etc. that if it involves men she's most likely straight.

6. Eye Contact

This tip kind of reflects the previous one. If she doesn't give the opposite gender (male) very much eye contact or avoids looking at them directly and speaking to them directly it's probably because she could care less. You can tell that you aren't receiving her attention and she probably wants to direct it elsewhere. If she is completely and more than willing to give eye contact and speak directly to the same gender (female) it might be a huge lean towards her being bisexual or lesbian.

7. Location Of Where You Met

Location is key! Location can absolutely tell you everything you need to know. In the LGBT community, you know your cities and where there is comfortable and acceptable environment one can feel safe and at home in. If you meet her at an LGBT event or spot, she's most likely gay.

8. Conversations

This tip reflects the prior tip as well. Conversation is a healthy way to filter out and in what you want people to know about you. You can be low-key about the information you share or very open and tell everyone everything. In reality, you can tell a lot about her if you pay attention to the specific details of the conversations you have together. Does she mention dating, relationships, her social status? Does she mention or talk about specific places she wants to go or the interests she's currently in? Pay attention because she might be telling you something. Ironic, I know.

9. Trust Your Instincts

This coincides with the luxury and supernatural ability of the "gaydar". Those who are blessed with this special ability sort of just know. Trust your instincts! If your gaydar is going off you might be onto something here. It is trying to tell you that she is in fact interested in women.

10. Ask Her

For those who are bold. Just. Ask. Her. Plain and simple you guys. It is not rude to politely ask someone if they are interested in women. Most people won't be offended, but be aware that everyone is different so take this tip with a grain of salt. Some people wouldn't mind to tell you, but some believe that's something you don't go and tell to just anyone. So when you decide to tell her that you've got a pressing question about her, make sure it's somewhere private and be considerate of that person's feelings and privacy always.

What If The Girl I Am Interested In Is Gay?

For those who are straight: - If the girl you are interested in, is in fact, gay or lesbian, don't worry too much. Appreciate the connection and attraction you had and move on. Like I said previously, you should never try to change someone's beliefs or opinions just because they don't match yours or because it would be beneficial to you if they did. People are born the way they are for a reason and it is not your job or your right to change who a person is. Especially if it is for your own personal gain. Don't get me wrong change is positive. Everyone needs change, but it is morally wrong to make someone change their sexual preference because it is not something you agree with. Everyone is equal. To each their own. For those who are lesbian or gay: - Though if you are lesbian or gay and the girl you've been interested in for the longest finally reveals or you figure out that she is gay, kudos to you! I would slowly try to ease into a friendly interaction and work your magic on building a relationship with her. Try asking her out on a couple of dates and see where it goes from there.


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Do I Tell Her I'm Interested Regardless If She Is Gay

Telling someone your feelings or emotions, in general, is a very intimate and significant moment. So really think and take into consideration of the circumstances at play. For those who are Straight: First of all, if she is gay, you already know she doesn't play on the same team as you. No, you can't secretly plot on making her switch teams! Though some people do try and its very rare they have luck in their favor. I highly recommend not to. I say if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Otherwise, leave it be. Second of all, I'm not sure how well others handle rejection, but me personally I hate rejection and I'm always a huge baby when I get rejected. So if you don't handle rejection too well then its probably best not to tell her, because the rejection possibility of a straight male asking a lesbian girl out is super high. For those who are Lesbian/Gay: If you find out she is bisexual, lesbian or gay and you would like to express your fondness further or if this is simply just a sexual attraction, try a friendly interaction first. It's always best to build a friendly foundation to ease into a romantic relation or sexual relation. Unless you're their type and the girl or woman of your interest is the type to just have sex and go your separate ways without all the extra time in building a relationship, by all means, do what you have to do to consent to that. It all really depends on how confident you are in expressing your interest in that person.

Gay Or Not

Gay or not, there are plenty of fish in the sea! Whether this girl works out for you because she isn't gay or whether it doesn't work out because she is, just maintain a positive mindset. We win some and we lose some, ya know! Just keep these tips in mind because it can be helpful in any situation. It doesn't only regard romantic or sexual interests. This can pertain to friends as well. It can help us adjust or treat people of that sexual orientation equally without judging or assuming anything. Not everyone sticks to labels, stigmas, and stereotypes. Remember that!