I Hate Babies Even Though They Are Cute: Is It Normal?

Yes, it's cute to have a baby. They bring joy to their parents. But do you feel you hate them even though you know they're cute? Get to know why here.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
I Hate Babies Even Though They Are Cute: Is It Normal?

Baby Hate: A Rising Phenomenon Among Young Women

It's a universally accepted fact that babies are cute. In most societies of the world today, you're not considered "complete" if, after some years of marriage, you do not have a baby of your own. Most newly-weds plan to have children of their own in the near future. However, today, there is growing hate for babies, especially among young women. These women (and men too) are very vocal about it. They do not hide their disgust for these big-headed, small-bodied, fragile gifts of nature. So, if you think you hate babies, you're not alone. Perhaps evolution is still ongoing, but only manifesting more evidently in what we like and don't like and not necessarily how we look any longer. Our values are changing, just like how technology and knowledge are also not static. What once used to be a delight is now becoming a detestable thing. Among such changes is the love for children, which is gradually taking a new dimension from what it used to be. We have couples that delay childbirth for as long as ten years after their marriage just because someone hates the idea of having a baby. Actually, it's not that these people do not want to be mothers and fathers or hate babies per se, but they do not want to go through the associated challenges of nursing a child. Stated differently, it means that those who say they hate babies don't really mean that they hate human beings like themselves. What they're saying is that they hate everything that having a baby portrays. But isn't that strange itself since they too were once babies? So, if indeed you hate babies, what it implies is that you hate a certain stage in your life where you were toothless, big-headed, light-bodied, and unable to care for yourself. And if you hate those who love babies, we can also extend it to mean that you hate the fact that some people loved and took care of you at that point in your life when your screams could tired out the ones who cared for you. Viewing this issue like this would be the balanced way of addressing it. Unless you consider the implications of your feelings about babies, it would not be easy to conclude whether you are "normal" or not. That being said, it would be helpful to also know why people like you hate babies.

Likely Causes Of Your Baby Hate

Several reasons can be cited for your baby hate, and most of them are understandable. Human babies are unique to other animals in that they require a lot of attention, especially in the first two years of their birth. The sensitivity and dynamism of our modern-day work and environment are not as those of the previous centuries, and if one refuses to move along with the tide, one can quickly be left behind. The demands of our modern day and the unique nature of babies themselves summarize why you probably hate them. But let's identify the likely causes of your baby hate. Listed below are several reasons why you may hate babies. Read through them carefully. You just might find one that resonates with you.

1. Having A Baby Can Disrupt Your Career

Unlike previous times when women weren't properly schooled, today's women are highly-educated and career-minded such that they now achieve as much as any man would, if not more. They now hold high government and non-governmental positions that demand a lot of commitment. So, if you're in this category of women, it is not impossible that the delay of having and raising a baby is why you hate them. Of course, everyone knows that you will have to take a maternity leave from work and even when you return, you may not be able to pursue your career with as much vigor as you would have if you've got no baby to look after. You may even be too tired from taking care of your newborn baby to focus on work. Sometimes, when you try to calm the baby down, they cry and scream and you're forced to sing them a song so they could settle down. This can be annoying, and you're not abnormal if you hate it. But should our work and what we hope to become make us develop negative feelings towards another human being? You should ask yourself if you even accept that babies, as tiny as they may be, are human beings as well. Of course, they are. And come to think of it, no baby comes into this world of their own volition. In most cases, we sort of invite them. Now that they are here, why should they be hated? Truly, raising them may bring some inconvenience, but for how long? No baby remains a baby forever if something is not wrong somewhere. You just need to grit your teeth and get through the early years.

2. Your Baby Hate Is Perhaps Because Of Their Manners

Babies may indeed be cute, but they're the worst examples to point to when it comes to manners. They're picky eaters and make a mess of themselves almost every second. Sometimes, the fluids emanating from their different body parts can be disgusting. You leave them for a moment, and then they cry and cry until you give them what they want. And come to think of it, a baby's cry has no respect for location. Even if you're on a flight, they'd still cry if they wanted to. And maybe one should congratulate you if you have a baby that only cries. Some even scream, which can be really embarrassing. Part of their bad manners may include destroying certain things in the home, necessitating constant cleanup. Truth be told, these are not jokes or small matters at all. They are things that keep parents on their toes and sometimes make parenthood a challenging situation. But even at that, do we hate our families when they're still at the preliminary stage? All families need a foundation, and the foundation is not usually the exciting period in the building process. Except you're an expert at building, you rarely can make much sense of what you see on the ground.We need to keep believing that as the building progresses, we would better understand its form. Shouldn't that be our attitude to children too? After all, they're innocent. They are acting within the level of their intelligence at that point. No one would question you if you claim to hate an adult behaving like a baby. That's plainly absurd. What you see babies do - whether they cry, scream, or make a mess is simply the best they can do.

3. You May Also Hate Babies Because Of Their Looks

At their age, even though they're cute, babies can be very tender and fragile. You have to handle them gently so you don't hurt them. In fact, the primary reason people refuse to carry a baby is that they're afraid they'll hurt the child. Babies' hands are usually tiny, and their heads are bigger than the rest of their bodies. Most babies have fat cheeks and are toothless until a certain age. All of these features may be scary to you, especially if you're a man. Today's world is still largely patriarchal, and chores like taking care of babies are still largely reserved for women. This is one reason most men don't even know how to carry a baby. They may even hurt them. Again, it is not easy to justify hatred here. Why hate me for who I am? Being tender-skinned, big-eyed and all of the rest are essentially what being a baby means. Wouldn't you be surprised to see a baby with physical features of a mature human being? The fact is, if you're patient enough, a baby will grow up to look cute and most of these things that scare you will be gone.

4. You Probably Hate Babies Because You Think They're Selfish

Apart from the fact that babies scream or cry often, many baby haters have also argued that babies are selfish. They don't want to know if their mother is okay or not; they just want whatever they want, at the time they want it. Sometimes, the mother would have to wake in the middle of the night to attend to a scream or cry for food and may not sleep again till dawn. It hurts, doesn't it? And don't expect the baby to at least understand that the mother needs some time to rest because they won't. This is one thing some people cannot take. To be frank, it can hurt to be a mother sometimes. There is no one to take your place if you get tired. In fact, in an ideal setting, a nursing mother is supposed to abstain from any other work outside taking care of her baby. The stress of meeting a baby's demands is no small feat. To think that some women combine this great task with their office or private work is both admirable and scary. But rather than think that children are selfish, maybe we should begin to set our priorities right. We won't feel hurt that we're sacrificing a lot to raise them if an adequate plan has been made even before their conception. Besides, what more can a child do? He can't speak at his age; he has to scream or cry. He can't defend himself or even fully comprehend what is going on around him. He can only scream if he's scared of anything. The baby is only getting used to things in the world. His reaction should therefore not be seen as selfishness. There's no one else he can request anything from except you, and he can't even help himself. It's just like inviting people over to your house; one would expect that you would have prepared everything for your "guest" before inviting him.

5. Having A Baby May Hinder Your Casual Relationship

Maintaining a relationship is already a big responsibility. What more when you become a parent? When you have a baby, it may not be that easy anymore. You may have a date with your significant other, and this baby just won't stop crying. You'll have to stay home to feed him and sing song after song before he can sleep. This typical scenario would prevent you from going on dates quite often. It may be that you don't even want people out there to know you have a baby. Some people aren't ready to have a partner with a baby. You want to date freely, without potential partners reminding you are a mother. But that's unfair to a baby who hasn't forced himself on you. If you feel you don't need one, you know what to do. Rather than hate them, you should reprimand yourself for not knowing what you want.

Baby Hate: Are You Normal?

Sometimes, what is normal can be relative. That's because a lot of factors dictate normalcy. In some societies, to say that you hate babies is a taboo. Babies are considered special gifts from God and hating them for whatever reason is equated to hating God. You're not only looked at as an abnormal person but an ingrate. In Africa, Asia, and certain parts of Europe, you dare not say publicly that you hate babies especially if you're a woman. In fact, even in North and South America, baby haters are in the minority. Though it is something that people are beginning to express publicly, it is still being looked upon as improper to say you hate babies. So, being normal or not would, among other factors, depend on where you find yourself. For example, some songs are considered as "normal" in certain places, whereas you dare not sing the same songs somewhere else. It all has to do with the traditions of the place. If your immediate community sees it as normal, you may not find it hard accepting it as such That being said, if you're worried about this feeling of hatred toward babies, that may be nature's way of telling you that you are cherishing something abnormal. We all know how we feel when we're on a wrong course. Even if everyone commends us, your spirit will not let you rest. No one is ever worried about believing or doing something good. Worry comes most times with something unusual. However, looking at each of the given possible reasons for you hating babies, it's hard to find any of them justifiable. No one denies the stress of singing songs after song to keep a baby calm, but it's still not a basis to hate them. "Hate," according to Longman Dictionary, means, "to dislike something or someone very much." So, how can you have such a negative feeling toward something you and almost everyone else consider "cute"? Doesn't that itself sound abnormal? That is, you dislike something that almost everybody adjudges "cute." Well, it's going to be left to you to determine the normalcy or otherwise of your orientation to babies, but it's not easy to justify your stance.

Final Remarks

Only a person who hasn't had a baby or been close to someone who has one would ever deny the challenges associated with raising them. If you're not prepared for the challenges of being a parent and you don't understand the situation, it can be quite easy to hate a baby. Carefully analyze your feelings towards babies after reading the reasons above. Which one fits you the most? Why do you think you feel this way? Getting to the root of your hatred and/or disgust is the first step to eliminating these negative feelings. Eventually, you will reach a place of more understanding and compassion towards babies. Babies survive on the intuition of their parents (particularly the mother) and seemingly don't care whether their parents are fine or not, so long their needs are met. It takes love and being human to love them. Hating babies may be a clue to a psychological condition in a person since babies are considered cute and obviously harmless. It is not easy to come up with a reason that would be acceptable for hating these innocent, harmless ones. Being a baby is just a stage in life, and it is not permanent. There is no human being that hasn't gone through that phase before, and the situation is the same for everyone. Someone had to overlook all the stress and help raise us to the point that we are today. If they had hated us while we were still babies, chances are that we wouldn't have survived to hate another baby. Therefore, no matter how disgusting babies may be, you owe them your love and affection (not hatred) because you were once in their state. You are who you are today because somebody didn't mind the messes you made while you were younger. Instead of hating you, they chose to love you instead. You too can make the right choice.