What It REALLY Feels Like To Be Born Ugly - And Why It's Okay

It's okay if you are born ugly. It is not your fault. There is no greatness in feeling proud of something that is not your doing.

By Amanda Palmer
What It REALLY Feels Like To Be Born Ugly - And Why It's Okay

Everyone prefers Beautiful to Ugly

Those perfectly crafted features, a pretty smile with all the teeth aligned, shiny hair, beautiful eyes and flawless skin are attributes which not all of us get by birth. Some manage to camouflage one facial flaw with their other pretty characteristics and manage to lead a happy life.
There are those who are gifted with some stunning features and a beautiful physical appearance but tell me one thing, is it their doing? Do they have any involvement in their looks? Have they made themselves beautiful with hard work? The answer is obviously no. Then why do they go on bragging and boasting about their looks? Why do they frown upon people who are not beautiful?

It is understood and obvious that everyone wants a beautiful thing by their side. We don't go to the market and purchase something that is not nice to look at. Nor would a guy want to date someone who is not even average to look at. The tendency to desire something that is beautiful is human. But if those who are not as lucky in the looks department understand this psychology, then it gets much better for them to lead a normal and happy life. 

It can be devasting to be born ugly. A girl would realize that she is not even half as beautiful as her friends by the time she enters her teens. Her blissful childhood comes to an end when she realizes that guys prefer her cuter looking friends over her. She is often made fun of and called ugly by her friends and classmates. It is natural to feel depressed and insecure in life then. At that time, the parents of that ugly child have to play a major role. There are cases of some parents belittling their ugly child. Nothing could be worse than that. The ugly child is made to suffer from verbal abuse both at home and in school for a fault that is not at all hers.

The ugly person has to understand that there is more to life than just good looks. Motivate the child to find out her talents. Encourage her to study well, groom herself to the best of what can be done and to rise above others in her preferred field. Soon, the world will forget her flaws and peek into her real talented self. There are a plethora of ugly people in the world who have become a part of the rich and famous lifestyle. 

What it really feels like to be UGLY

It feels really bad to be ugly. Period. We can all understand and totally relate to this as many of us have not been blessed with the best of looks. We know how it feels like when someone you like prefers your friend over you.
We know how it feels like when nobody compliments you. We know what it feels like when you only get sympathy or ingenuine comments from your family or friends just to make you feel good. We know what it feels like when no good clothes ever look good on you. We know how it feels like when you try and avoid getting pictures clicked knowing that you will look bad.

To make it personal, I was always conscious amongst guys. I could never just go out of the house in whatever I was wearing because I was always too scared to show my real self to the world outside. Even to run basic errands, I used to sometimes takes hours dressing up in front of the mirror. My fat body was the result of hereditary issues. No matter how much I starved myself or exercised, I could not lose weight easily. There was a point in my life, when I just got fed up with my diet plans and just started living life. I decided to divert my attention and interests to writing. Today, I make more money than most of my good-looking friends. I have chosen to remain anonymous to the outside world, and I feel comfortable in reaching out to them with my knowledge and words rather than my real self. 

But this kind of wisdom came very late in life. I hate to admit it; however, there were times when I used to spend hours crying alone in my room. The label of being ugly was a big black spot in my life. I have done many stupid things to win some guys attention and even dressed up in revealing clothes.  I was so insecure in life, and I got so desperate for love and attention that I went down to really stupid ways. After facing a lot of backlashes, after being laughed at and after being sidetracked by my friends, I discovered my true purpose in life. 

Pictures with friends are impossible

If you are ugly, you want to avoid getting snapped or clicked for pictures. If all your friends are beautiful, you might want to stay away from their group pictures. You feel you spoil the pictures and they too are secretly happy about avoiding you in their group pictures. No matter how much I believe in the fact that ' A person makes beauty and beauty does not make a person,' I know for sure that the world is a sucker for good looks.
I can keep this logic to myself and be happy, but when it comes to group pictures and group outings, I always prefer to stand alone and away fearing that I would spoil their fun.

No pictures!! 📸 . . . . #nopictures #picture #amor #love

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Holidaying with friends is also impossible

I remember refusing to go on exotic vacation trips with my friends. Some of them forced me to come along, but I always made excuses. My fat body made me insecure. My friends would flaunt their curves in a bikini for our beach holiday, and I just excuse myself saying that too much sun would harm my skin. The truth, I was not comfortable showing my fat body to my friends.
Although they are good natured and would not do anybody shaming, I understood their need of having beautiful pictures of good looking friends. Sometimes, I would act clumsy and stupid and pretend to fall asleep when they would go out clubbing. My friends were not mean people, and they genuinely accepted me as their friend.
But I knew when to back off and when not. That life was not for me. Even if I just wanted to let my guard down and have some drinks and fun, I knew the ugly thing would creep back in and depress me. I started avoiding such holidays altogether.

I know it is stupid but I cannot stop thinking about it

No matter how much I told myself that beauty does not matter, it kept cropping up back in my life almost on a daily basis. I would go out to the supermarket and see people frown at my body. I would see people staring at beautiful women. I could not help but think that what if I were beautiful too.
'I am Ugly' was a thought that hovered over my mind 24/7. I would only be at peace in the den of my room. The moment I stepped out of the house, the thought crept back in. I cannot even tell you how many years I have lived with the burdensome thoughts of being ugly. It made me really insecure around males and even made me act clumsily at times. 

A real incident which made me feel very UGLY

This incident dates back to my college days, and even now when I think about it, my heart stabs with pain. It was prom night - one of the most dreaded events in college for me because I know none would ask me out. Just like every other year, I used to attend the prom night with a female friend who too was not pretty. We hung out most of the time and shared a lot of our problems. 

Just an hour before the prom night, a guy in my class, tall and handsome, called me and asked me to go to the prom with him. I could not believe it. It was like one of my craziest dreams come true. I dressed up quickly ( I always had that pretty black dress, just in case). I applied my makeup painstakingly. Even my parents gave me a nod of approval, and everything seemed surreal. He came to pick me up in his car, and together we headed to the event.

Things were not as rosy as they did in the beginning. As I entered the hall, my classmates started whispering and laughing looking at me. I heard someone say, 'And the Ugly Duckling Arrives.' When I looked over to my shoulder to see my guy's reaction, to my horror, I noticed that there was no one besides me. He left me alone and joined the crowd to make fun of me. Time stood still, and the floor slipped from underneath my legs. I had never felt so ugly or so stupid in all my life. 

It could more than a month for me to get back to normal again. But I realized something then that I have to rise beyond looks in life. It was the turning point in my life and had made me very strong.

Beautiful or Ugly - Nothing lasts forever

A very famous quote that most of us are aware of is "Nothing lasts forever, not even beauty." As and when you age, your pretty hair will become grey and brittle, your flawless skin will have wrinkles, and your beautiful eyes will need glasses. Beauty is a very temporary attribute. What remains permanent is your nature, your talent, your attitude and your knowledge. Being born beautiful is not in your hands, but to die beautifully is all in your hands. 

If you are ugly, you have to remember that it is not the end of the world. There is more to life than being beautiful. You were born that way and it is not your fault.
If you are fat, you can somehow control your diet and get into shape, but remember, sometimes, even that is not in your hands. Some people are fat because of their hereditary problems. You have to lead a life that is beyond your fat body or ugly face. Develop your talents in other fields which will make people approach you.
A woman with a very great body in her youth also goes through drastic changes as she ages. Her perfectly toned body gets fat and flabby. It is a natural process and everyone ages. Only fools and stupid people can brag about their looks and beauty. And it is these people who get the most depressed when old age approaches them. 

True 💯 #truth #beautyvsugly #beautiful #beautifulsoul #lookdeeper

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Examples of some great men and women who very ugly

Some famous women in Hollywood and Bollywood are famous despite their ugly looks. These people have risen above their looks and made it to the top. These people have earned respect and fame with their talent. One such example is that of Sandra Bernhard. Up close and personal, this woman looks really ugly, but she managed to become one of the most sought-after television personalities because of her talent and her dialogue delivery. 

There are many males on this list as well. David Schwimmer has heard it many times in his life about being ugly. Despite this, he never got insecure in life, and he became really famous in showbiz with his talent. Our very own Donald Trump is another one of those males who does not look very good but has made it on the list of the top most essential men in the world. 

All these people had talent in other areas which made them establish themselves in life. There are many other actors and actresses, and people who do not possess that kind of skill set or luck in life. So what do such average ugly people do in life? Well, each person has a unique talent in life. The sooner you find your talent, the sooner your life gains some purpose. Take examples from these famous and ugly people in life, and you will not feel so low in life. 

She got the power! #sandrabernhard #hudsonhawk #ivegotthepower

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How I've made my peace with being ugly

I felt that if you are born beautiful, you are fortunate in life and those few pleasures of life which ugly people never have, come to you very easily. Ugly people never get unwanted attention from men. Ugly people don't get stared at all. Ugly people don't get asked out by men. 

After that heart wrenching incident at the prom, I went through a lot of introspection. I realized that my biggest fear was not being accepted in the society, not being wanted and not being desired by any males. It was a normal desire of every woman to be liked by men and I had to face a real challenge in life in this department. It made me feel very insecure about my future.
To overcome this, I visited a lot of handicapped and specially-abled people. I realized that these people had so much less in life than me and yet I did not find a teeny bit of bickering or frustration on their faces. They were happy amongst themselves. If you ever felt low in life, always remember to look at people below you and you will realize how gifted you are. It was at this exact moment that I made peace with my looks. I decided from then onwards that I would not waste time thinking about how ugly I am but will spend time towards finding greater motives in life. I discovered my love for writing, and it was the best thing that could have happened to me.
Today, I am an avid blogger and have thousands of fan following. I choose to remain anonymous to the world because I want them to like me because of my thoughts and knowledge and not because of my beauty. 

What it feels like to be born ugly - bad, depressing and frustrating. But why it's okay is because there is much more to life than just plain looks. Here I, who is average looking with a very fat and ugly body, motivates you all my fellow friends who are in the same boat, to not bother so much about looks. Believe me; there is no greatness in feeling proud of something that you have not put any efforts in.
Rise above and beyond all those who have once in your life made fun of your looks. Your inner peace and satisfaction are more important than a few compliments or stares from other people. Be beautiful from inside and someday; someone will see your inner beauty and fall for you! That kind of love and attention will be forever and more meaningful.