Why Don't People Like Me: 15 Psychological Reasons Why
Are you worried that you are not being liked by people around you? Here are 15 psychological reasons for everyone to know why people don't like you.
Jul 24, 2018
Human Nature
There is not a single person in this whole world who is loved by all. It is a known fact, that not everyone just sees your positives but they also zoom into your flaws. Even if it is just one little flaw someone is going to hate you for it. So, to be liked by all is a dream that never comes true in real world. But, if you feel everyone around you hates you for no reason, then chances are you might have certain qualities that might not be pleasing to others. If there is going to be one percent of the population that dislikes then there is always another half who likes you. But if you have everyone around you hating you, probably you need to know what is really wrong. Here are 15 psychological reasons why people might dislike you.
1. People Never Like If You are Selfish
Being selfish is putting your needs, priorities and time at the first place before everyone else. It is okay to be selfish at times, but you can never always have everything compiled just for your happiness. It takes a lot of courage and confidence to put your needs behind and make others happy. So, if you find yourself having no true friends who really like you, chances are you might be a little selfish.
2. People Never Like You If you Control
Bossing around your friends is never really going to make you likable, it just develops hate and dislikes towards you. Everybody needs to make their own decisions, you can never go around dominating them and making their decisions. You need to let go of the need to control everything and everyone. You don't always have to take the lead rather it is good to just follow. People love to know that their decisions are accepted and appreciated, not always lead by another. If you feel that you are kind of bossy when with people, chances are people hate you because of that.
3. Bragging about Yourself
Never gloat yourself in your own accomplishments, it doesn't always have to be about you. If you are kind of a person who brags all the time to everyone you meet, chances are you are never going to find anyone who really likes you. There is always more to learn from others, you need to know about their glories, their accomplishments before you start to brag. Everyone hates people who brag, you will never get people to like you by boasting about yourself.
4. Talking Only When There is a Real Need
If you feel that you are a kind of a person who only talks when there is a real need, even if it is your friend, then you are definitely being disliked. People love the feel to be needed not to be used. Whenever there is a need for you and you show up, people are going to hate you for that and will never help you in the first place. Even if was for a very important purpose. When you link a purpose for your talk every time, it just gives them the message that you are using them and taking advantage and there is no real friendship.
5. Poor Listening Skills
If you feel that you have poor listening skills and that you never listen to what your friends say, it is a big enough reason for people to not like you. Everybody talks with an intention that they are being listened to. What is the point in taking, when you actually don't want to listen? There is no need to talk, rather it is easy to dislike you. Good listeners make good friends. Being heard makes other people feel special, so make them feel like one.
6. Egoistic People are Never Liked
Having too much of self-importance and value for oneself makes you egoistic. You might act around your friends that you are of major importance and deserve a lot of their respect. Just ignoring you might piss you off. People are looking for normal people, more casual ones to be with, not someone who values himself too much. Even when the most important people in the world are down to earth, easy to approach, where is the need for your ego?
7. Being Rude
It is always nice to be around people who are humble, not rude. If you are arrogant or rude by nature, everyone is always going to stay away from you. Being rude to others might make you feel superior but people are not going to like you for that. Everyone needs to be treated gently with respect and not by arrogant behavior. If you are rude by nature, then the likelihood is people may not like you.
8. Pessimistic Person is Never Really Liked
Having negative thoughts to an extent is fine, but when you overdo it, people are not going to like you. Nobody likes to be around negative people. Not hoping positive outcomes and always worried about negative outcomes makes you and people around you miserable. You tend to spread your pessimism and make them fear that something is going to go bad as well. So, people might not like to be with you.
9. Excessive Talking
People love to share their views and opinions as much as you do. So, whenever you talk and talk and never let other people talk, it becomes an unpleasing nature. People generally avoid having excessive talker's company. This makes them feel less valued and invisible. So, if you do talk a lot and not let the other to talk then that could be a reason for people to not like you.
10. Know It All
There is always something new to learn from others. But when you have the attitude that you know it all and never listen to what others have to say to you, chances are people are not going to like you. Also, if you talk even when you really know nothing about it, people are going to find it out. You can never fake to be an intelligent person. So, if this is who you are, then people are not going to like you. Just by accepting that you don't know what they are talking about doesn't make you a moron.
11. Criticism and Being Judgemental
When you criticize a lot more than you appreciate, people are not going to like it. You need to be appreciative and applaud others for the good things that are happening in their lives and not just find faults. It is easy to look into the mistakes committed and criticize but it is hard to recognize their worth. Being Judgemental is also one way that you might be driving people away. By being Judgey you are simply questioning them their way of life. Never Judge others as they have their own fears, circumstances, and situations. And remember you have a life too and try living that. When you start judging you begin to lose people. Accept people for who they are and never for what they do.
12. People Never Like a Whiner
If you are a crybaby or a complaint box, people are not going to like you. Everybody loves to be around people who complain less and work more. If you find yourself complaining a lot and whining all the time then chances are people are not going to like you. So, try to stop complaining and do something productive with your life. It is believed that whiners can never become winners, in this case, you can never win a heart too.
13. Never Interrupt Others
There will always be an urge to talk when people talk. But you need to control your thirst for talking. When people get interrupted whenever they talk they are not comfortable. It simply gets them annoyed. Give them a chance to talk. Let them finish, whatever you have to say can always wait. If you are a kind of a person who keeps interrupting other people while they talk, chances are they don't like you for a reason.
14. Never Be too Much Clingy
It is hard to be friends with people who are clingy. The need to be around people and to stick to them like glue makes you look like you are badly in need of company. People dread those who cling around too much and never let them be comfortable in their own space. Sometimes, it just feels weird and creepy. So, if you find yourself clinging around to other people at all times, the reason people don't like you is bit obvious.
15. Blaming Others
It is normal to make mistakes. But, it takes a lot of courage to own up to your mistakes. If you are a kind of person who never owns to your faults, rather blame others for your mistakes then probably people never like you. Pointing out others for your mistake makes you an unworthy person. Never accuse others when it was your blunder. This is just going to make people dread you and hate you. If this is the person who you are now, then odds are people are not going to like you.
Now that you know the psychological reasons for not being likable. Now, it is your turn to reflect on your thoughts and views and make changes. Having people around you who really like you is a big challenge these days. With technology advancements, people are not very much into an in-person relationship. So, to have people around us means that there is someone out there to really care about us. So, going that extra mile and making some amends in our day to day behavior is totally normal and fine. Even if none of the above qualities are your nature, but still people might not like you just for who you are. It is not always your fault you are not being likable. It is from the perspective of the receiver as well. You can never change the way people feel about you. So, it is sometimes better to go with the flow. Never be hard on yourself.