Why is my Ex Boyfriend Appearing in my Dreams and Why it Happens?
Breakups are always one of the hardest topics in life. Some prefer a clean cut for a fresh start while some want to keep their ex in their lives. Just because you want to get rid of your ex doesn't mean you always can. Sometimes they appear in your dreams and still haunt you after half a year. You just can't seem to get rid of him.
Life is not going to be easy when you keep dreaming about your ex-boyfriend. You're not together but he won't leave you alone even in your dreams. Obviously, this relationship meant a lot to you, probably in a bad way.
If you've been suffering from this and haven't been sleeping well, let's find out why this is happening and what do those dreams mean.
The Various Interpretation of Dreaming About Your Ex Boyfriend
There're many different scenarios when you dream about your ex-boyfriend. Dreams are rarely identical but they usually convey the same message, meaning it's highly unlikely for you to dream about your ex-boyfriend cheating on you today and having a family the next day.
Your dreams usually follow the same pattern, good or bad.
1. Ex Boyfriend Cheating on me in the Dream
This is not a hard one. Dreaming about your ex-boyfriend cheating on you always comes from how much you don't trust him due to his flaky behavior. He didn't even need to have a history of cheating on people for you to feel insecure.
Did he ever mention that other girls were hot and that he would go for them if, given the chance, no second thought is given? Was he always talking about how hot and sexy those supermodels are and saying you weren't enough? Even just as a joke?
All these are enough for you to feel insecure, how could you trust him to not cheat on you when he can't even trust himself enough to tell you upfront that he trusts himself enough to not do such things? It's not even just about how much he loves you, it's just about how much he values his own morality and dignity.
Obviously, he didn't care enough to give you that sense of security so he always left you wondering if he's cheating on you when you're together. You don't understand why he had to be like this to you when you poured your heart out to him. You will never know why he was like that, some people are just like that, and don't give a shit about others that love them.
Your self-doubt is most likely the reason you're dreaming about him. Thinking that you weren't enough for him to give you a sense of security, believing that it started because of you, is the reason you're dreaming about him cheating on you, even after the breakup.
Don't think you weren't enough for him. There's no point in holding onto people that don't know your value and worth. It's really not you, it's him.
2. Ex Boyfriend and Pregnancy in the Dreams
There could be two reasons why this is happening. Either you really loved him and wanted to have a family with him or you felt very pressured when you're with him.
Maybe you really wanted to have a family with your ex-boyfriend but he felt that it wasn't the right time. All the arguments building up led to your break up. You regret what you said and think that things could've gone differently if you had just been patient. Dreaming about him and pregnancy means you still feel guilty about pressuring him and that you really think things could've gone differently.
Or it could be stemming from the fact that you just weren't ready to have a baby but he kept forcing you to. The pressure became too hard to bear so you had to end it. Even till this day you still ask yourself if it's your fault to say no. You think maybe you could've just said yes so you could keep the man in your dreams.
All the doubts are creating your dreams. Whatever happened, it just wasn't the right timing. Things could've been different if you two had met 5 years later, maybe. But you never know, it's not just about finding the right one. It's about meeting the right one at the right time for things to work out and flow smoothly.
3. Ex Boyfriend Crying in the Dreams
Are you afraid of your ex-boyfriend because he seemed too emotional, or that he was too emotionally-dependent on you and it's too exhausting to deal with?
Dreaming about your ex-boyfriend crying in your dreams usually means that he mentally drained you when you're in the relationship. He was likely very emotional and you tended to take it personally and thought he was upset because you never did good enough for him.
All the stress is not going away even after the relationship has ended because you still feel you didn't do enough. It's hard to not take it personally when someone you're so close to is upset every day, even if you aren't causing their sadness.
Guilt could really beat someone up. Your Ex-boyfriend crying in your dreams is just a symbol of you crying on the inside as well. You need to understand that there's only so much you can do to make someone happy. At the end of the day, it's up to them to decide if they want to live their life happily or sad. You've already tried and you shouldn't regret.
There would always be things that you could've done differently, but it doesn't change the fact that it didn't happen. You're where you are and you just need to keep that lesson in mind so you don't make the same mistake again.
Tips on What to do if you Keep Dreaming about your Ex Boyfriend
Something is obviously bothering you if you keep dreaming about someone that you've long let go of. The first thing you need to do is to stop talking to him if you're still in contact. He is still on your mind and being in touch with him isn't going to make him go away. You just need to take a step back and live your life without him for a bit until you are comfortable seeing him without letting the past affect you.
You can still be friends if you want, but not for the moment being. You need to work on yourself for now until you can get him out of your mind. Save all the photos with him somewhere else and delete the photos on your phone. Don't let it get into your head.
Don't hesitate to talk to a psychologist or a therapist if it's been bothering you so much that it affects your daily life. Sometimes your dreams leave you feeling empty and weakened. You no longer feel you can control your negative emotions and you are sad all day that you can't even function well at work.
When something affects you this much, you need professional help. Don't think this is stupid and don't hesitate to get help. The only way to get better is to admit you have a problem and deal with it.
Also, talk to trusted friends about it and hang out with them so you can keep your mind off of it for a while. Be mindful of your own mental health. Know that you can't blame yourself on what happened because the relationship ended since you both wanted different things. You should never force him to live his life your way just as you should never force yourself to live your life his way. It goes both ways.
Another important thing is to not think about it right before you sleep. Our mind is funny, the things you think and read about right before bed are those that will stay. So refrain from stalking him on Facebook or Instagram right before bed so you don't go to bed thinking about him, otherwise he will appear in your dreams again and again.
Dreaming about your ex-boyfriend isn't the best thing because you shouldn't be thinking about your ex-boyfriend after a breakup. It's always easier said than done, but after knowing why you're dreaming about him should make it easier for you to move on. So carefully think about all the scenarios above and which one applies to you so you can understand why it's happening and how you can get rid of it.