12 Things People Who Have Open Marriages Want You To Know

In this twenty-first century, marriages are no longer as conventional as they are meant to be. The world is ruled by smartphones and PCs, making things complicated. Even though open marriages are open, they still are relationships and therefore must have rules.

Open marriage is a polyamory relationship whereby partners adhere to the concept of marriage without actually getting married. The two parties are free to have other lovers. It is more of an informal arrangement and some couples testify that it is actually good for them. It can be many things in terms of arrangements. It could mean having one-night stands with other people or meeting the primary partner’s boyfriend/girlfriend. The arrangements differ from one marriage to the next. Open marriage only works if the partners are in agreement and lay some ground rules; otherwise, it can be a source of disappointment and heartbreak. If built on trust, effective communication, and love, the relationship can be an exciting experience.

The world tends to think that the entire arrangement is a joke. A lot of open marriages are serious institutions whereby lovers are loyal and dedicated to one another. Sometimes, they are even better than the monogamous relationships. It is easier to think that open marriage partners are at loggerheads. This is not true because these people are actually I love. We have seen celebrities who have raised kids in think of arrangement which actually works. Some people think that only immature individuals take on this relationship but the truth is it takes a mature person to agree with the concept of non-monogamous marriage. Serious partners have a serious foundation of love and they actually enjoy the adventures which monogamous people secretly admire. Believe it or not, open marriage couples work harder to see it work than what the world thinks. Even though not every relationship works, a lot of people are succeeding in this. As far as feelings are concerned, polyamorous couples are considerate as far as their partners are concerned. There are those lovers who even take it to the next level- turning to monogamy. This, however, is not easy. After staying in an open relationship for long, some couples decide to transition to a closed marriage. This is possible as long as both parties are in favor of a closed relationship.

Both monogamous and polyamorous couples have sex drives. Preferring non-monogamy is a matter of personal preference but it has nothing to do with sex addiction. Most people are quick to judge open marriages as relationships of sex addicts. Those who are married with kids are as busy as everyone else. They barely have time for mingling or having sex with just anyone they come across. So, stop judging these people because they are just human. The truth is open marriages are not celebrated in today’s culture. Not so many couples in open marriages open up to the world for fear of being judged. Statistics have reported some instances whereby employers refuse to hire candidates who are in open marriages; reason being these people are not ‘serious’ about life. But there are couples who are very open about it. They have a nice family structure and very proud of it. It is an alternative for partners who want to maintain their individuality as well as the relationship itself.

Times will come when you feel jealous and you cannot deny this. This is something you must talk about with your partner. If you cannot handle jealousy, then open marriage is not your thing. The exciting thing about the open marriage structure is that you can taste more dating options in life. You can experience more sexual partners if you choose to do so. In the same way, your primary partner will have hook-ups, meaning that the chance of feeling jealous is quite high. Who likes to see or hear about their lover’s lover? When such times come, you start wondering if the other person dating your partner is better than you. Basically, the idea of sharing is awful and you’ll be worried that your spouse might leave you. Whether or not you are interested in a long-term relationship, jealousy is human nature. One way of minimizing jealousy in an open relationship is meeting your husbands’ other girlfriend. If you can handle this, then your mind will be at ease. As you can see, honesty is one other thing that saves an open marriage. Letting your spouse know the other people you are dating can prevent a lot of misunderstandings and disappointments. The idea is to treat each other with respect and care.

If you have established an open marriage with a man, you better tell your mum and dad, brothers and sisters; lest you will be the talk of the city. If they are not aware of this, they could think that you are living a double life which the society condemns. You can also tell your closest friends- those whom you trust and they will be warm and supportive. To the rest of the world, you shouldn’t care what they think. You don’t need to make formal announcements to your friends and family. It is not a big deal, really, but make sure that you mention it. You can do it through texts and phone calls, or when chitchatting over coffee. You don’t want to be receiving calls now and then that your lover has been spotted dating some college girl around the city. Having kids will affect your decisions. What will you tell them when they grow up? You might want to change the arrangement into a closed one. Since the greatest commitment is being honest to one another, you have to reevaluate your marriage structure. At first, you may not be sure if it’s going to last or remain open for the rest of your life. Make sure that you sit down and discuss these issues as time pass by to see what would make the two of you happier and the way forward for your kids.

It is exciting to share dating experiences with a partner. Dating outside marriage is awesome only when it’s done responsibly. One of the most obvious rules is the use of condoms. STIs are rampant these days and you want to continue enjoying a healthy life. The only safe way is using protection when you have multiple partners. Also, you want to avoid unexpected pregnancies with people you don’t want to spend your entire life with. Statistics prove that the more sexual partners you have in life, the higher are your chances of contracting STIs. In fact sometimes the condom breaks. Think about your life first before getting intimate with anyone.

Some people respect an open relationship as the ideal remedy for non-committers who still want to keep a relationship. However, it can turn into a heartbreaking experience filled with negative emotions. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be happy in an open marriage, so make sure that you understand its pros and cons. Before you get into it, know what you are in for. One, you will have the freedom to see other people and in the same way, your husband will not be limited to you. This might be a reason for you to start the non-monogamy if you prefer a lot of freedom. A non-monogamy arrangement means more varied sex. You hardly miss that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with say a hot guy who makes advances to you or even meeting a better partner who can make you happier than the apparent husband. On the other side, this casual affair has its downsides. Since your partner knows that you are seeing other men, he might decide to up his game such that it becomes a kind of a competition. Is this something you want- seeing your husband with hotter women in the neighborhood? Then, there is a big chance that your primary lover might leave you for another woman. The first thing that’s for sure is that your husband is allowed to look elsewhere. This creates a situation where you will always be insecure, meaning that the affair is not always pleasant.

The hardest thing about polyamorous marriage is scheduling and balancing the energy. How can you handle 3 crises of your different partners who are seeking your help? And will your other partner be okay with you getting assistance from your other lovers? You see, unless there are rules, conflicts are bound to arise. You need to assure your primary partner that your interest in other guys does not change your interests in him. You will also feel jealous if he pays more attention to another woman than he does to you. Ground rules are fundamental to a polyamorous relationship. You have to lay down your rules lest it becomes a painful experience. Rules are like storm barriers; they must be set intellectually and rationally because it’s hard to predict emotional reactions which might arise. An example of a good rule is, if either of you decides to quit, then the relationship should be ended. Such a guideline can solve future problems associated with clingy partners. Due to the increased risk of STIs, you and your partner should get screened for related diseases regularly without a question. You want to remain engaged to an infection-free partner. The good side of these rules is that you two will remain true to one another. As far as sex escapades are concerned here are some rules that can help an open marriage. But you don’t have to follow them; follow what you think is right for your relationship. 1) Sex with mutual friends is not allowed 2) Always inform your partner who you are sleeping with 3) Use condoms for outside sex 4) No sex with an outside partner at home 5) The outside escapades must not disrupt family time 6) Outside sex is only allowed when one partner is out of town

Everyone has their eyes on celebrities. Their lives are interesting due to the unending dramas that accompany them. According to statistics, most Hollywood marriages don’t last long and those that do are probably because they are open. The open marriage policy has helped a lot of celebrities because these people can’t help but stray from their spouses. It is not surprising that most of these celebrities go public about their polyamorous relationships. Some confess that even though they live together, it doesn’t make them chained to one another. They admit that they don’t want to restrict their partners from their sexual desires. Truth be told, it is hard for male celebrities to be faithful to just one woman while there is a lot of pressure in the outside world. The concept of an open relationship is also great for the kids of celebrities. It provides a chance for family time as well as an opportunity to enjoy life with other people outside of marriage. It makes sense anyway. If you look closely at the lives of most married celebrities, they have a high profile of cheating, yet they remain together. Meaning what? They have agreed to be polyamorists and have some ground rules governing their relationship.

Some people agree to the fact that an open marriage is a loving relationship. Sure they are, but there are still some which are selfish dating. With this in mind, you are always ready for anything, including heartbreak. The good thing is that if you are well prepared for a disappointment, it will hurt less. With time, you learn not to give your entire heart to a partner. According to statistics, most people in non-monogamy don’t fall in love with their secondary partners. Not falling in love is a way of protecting your heart, meaning less pain in case of disappointments. While your heart remains protected, you will be experiencing less pleasure and happiness. Not everyone is good at loving, and being egocentric is human nature. If you have to dedicate yourself to a partner, it is going to take a lot of practice but do you have that time while in an open marriage?

Open marriage couples are not fully committed to one another, meaning that they get more time and space to focus on their lives. It becomes easier to manage their individual life goals. If you want to avoid the common problems of an exclusive marriage, a closed relationship might be your ideal option. There’s more to life than sex and focusing on other areas of life like your career is more important. Even though you get a lot of time to accomplish your life goals, you are more likely to spare time to get new lovers. Be careful as it might consume your time and money. Focus on creating a balance between your daily jobs and mingling. The fact that you are in an open marriage should not make you sleep around and attend booty calls every day. What you need is something novel which needs a lot of discipline.

Even the monogamists have cheating moments which are sources of guilt. However, when you are in an open relationship, you are not actually betraying your partner because they expect you to cheat. There is nothing to be guilty about if your partner knows the truth. Technically, you are free to do what you like but at some point, it is hard not to feel guilty when you are dating another individual who is not your partner. Imagine telling your husband how much they mean the world to you yet you are planning for a rendezvous with another guy tonight! Wouldn’t you feel guilty?

A competition against one another is detrimental. As you agree with the idea of dating alternative lovers, the habit soon turns into an unhealthy competition. Both of you will want to outdo one another and see which person achieves the most exciting dating escapades. Imagine your husband bragging about a hot celeb he has managed to catch. Truth is you might lose interest in him and feel upset. To make yourself feel better, you might decide to find even a hotter guy, say from a dating site. In the end, open marriage becomes a nasty game of upstaging one another and loses its meaning.

So do open marriages work? The answer is yes and no. After sometimes, the outside engagements become a threat to the marriage and couples start to get tired of listening to one another’s dating experiences. Statistics show that couples who are mutually honest about the open arrangement and back it up with strong ground rules remain in the open marriage for a long time. Rules will protect your health, your family, and the entire relationship. Different couples lay different rules for their open marriages and they are all equally significant. If you are sure about moving forward, lay down a list of rules which you are both comfortable with. Discuss the details and be thoroughly honest with each other. It takes guts to get into an open relationship that’s full of uncertainties. The question is - do you really want this?