How Often Do Couples Have Sex On Average?
Are you worried maybe the amount of sex you are having may not be normal? Sex therapist says that the quantity of sex is not as important as quality. Therefore, work on your relationship first, as a lot of sex will not fix it.
How often should couples have sex? There's no correct answer. The frequency of sex depends on your decision. Archives of Sexual behavior did a study from 26000 people in 2017 and found out that an average adult has sex 54 times a year, that's once per week. The study also showed that married couples have sex 51 times each year.
However, the frequency wasn't the same for all age groups. To emphasize, once per week for an average person may not mean it favors all couples. Some couples felt it was too much, while others felt it wasn't even close to their wants. Therefore, every couple should determine the amount of sex they want—notably, the frequency changes as the relationship progress.
Most sex therapists support terming a relationship with the sex of fewer than ten times a year, sexless. According to Schnarch, couples who doesn't engage in sex doesn't mean they have a failed relationship.
Is It Normal To Want Sex All The Time/ More Frequently Than Usual?
It is normal for any individual to want sex more frequently. Sex drive or libido is the person's desire to have sex, which is a natural occurrence. However, levels of libido differ, from no desire to wanting sex frequently.
It is good to note that the levels of sex drive can be either low or high. However, before you get worried about why your libido has shifted, consider checking if the following factors may be the cause: age, sleep, diet, mood, mental health, hormones, medication, schedule, and physical wellness. Studies have shown that having a high sex drive is very okay unless it distracts your daily life.
Why Does My Husband Want To Have Sex All The Time?
Is his sex crave worrying you? If he's all over you than he usually does, it's likely something is triggering that. Before confronting him, let's find out some possible facts that may lead to his rising libido.
• His stress levels are low
A psychologist once said, "During times of stress, we need to survive, not procreate." This is because stress lowers libido. It affects hormones and your brain's functioning. Studies have proven that one's brain is the largest sex organ.
Therefore, if your mind is busy and occupied, definitely your sex life will be affected. From the above facts, you can be sure your husband has low stress; that's why he has the energy to often engage in sex.
• He's having good sex
It's evident of late he is getting good sex than before. Have you introduced a new sex style? According to proven research, if a man is introduced to something new, be it a new person or something new, and it's appealing to him, it's likely to raise his sex drive.
• He is exercising more
Regular physical activity is proven to boost your sex drive. If he's been having gym sessions, and he's looking better than before, that confidence will raise his self-esteem, which in turn will be evident during sex. According to Dr. Penhollow, raised self-esteem makes you sexy, thus will engage more in sex.
As previously stated, stress is a mood killer, and exercise helps to reduce it. So, if his stress levels are lowered, then his sex drive will rise. Additionally, exercise will improve his flexibility, which in turn help with sex positions.
• Has he stopped taking certain meds?
Studies have shown that some medication or over the counter drugs can affect one's sexual desire. For instance, anti-depressants, antihistamines, beta-blockers, among others, can cause low libido. So, if your man was previously taking them and he stopped, his sex drive may rise more than you are used to.
On the other hand, a man may be taking drugs such as Viagra, which are best for maintaining an erection. Although they are not linked to increased sex drive, the confidence it brings after getting an erection may increase his urge to have sex.
What Do You Do When Your Husband Wants More Sex?
It's okay to want more sex. It's also a clear indicator that your husband is well and healthy, but him wanting more sex than you do can at times be frustrating and boring. However, you will not sit down and wait for him to work on it alone; you must be part and parcel of the plan. If you want to win this, communication is the key. Also:
- Assure him your lack of desire is not physical
- Try another approach to enjoy more sex
- If you are stressed, try to calm down
- Respect his sexual condition
How Do You Refuse To Have Sex When Your Husband Wants It?
It's not okay to force yourself to do something you aren't happy with. At the same time, you may feel indebted to push yourself if you have a nice and generous husband. You may wait for too long for both of you to want sex, and that's where the idea of pushing yourself comes in.
However, having a good husband still isn't a ticket to want sex—the idea of saying no maybe bring misunderstanding in your relationship. At times a man may even doubt his wife's love and commitment. He may also feel as if he's no longer attractive.
A married woman's no, should be no. Though sex is a necessity in marriage, a woman shouldn't be forced. Sincerely, you don't owe your husband sex; it should be based on mutual understanding. A husband shouldn't blame his wife if he doesn't want sex; instead, he should understand why she isn't in the mood.
As a married woman, don't blame yourself or maybe feel sorry for not wanting sex. It's normal for sexual desire to fade at times when you are mentally disturbed or sick. It is your right to have control of your body, even in marriage.
But, you can also seek counsel from a marriage counselor or a trusted friend if you feel your marriage is falling apart. But before that, try to make him understand the reasons behind your lack of interest.
Are There Other Ways To Spice Things Up Aside From Sex?
Everything is bound to change, but it's very comforting to have a steady relationship. Act fast before your daily hustles replace a goodbye kiss or a movie date. So, you don't have a choice; work on your relationship to keep it alive.
What else can you do to keep your relationship blazing?
1. Understand each other's hobby
It's a nice feeling for your partner to support things you like, but it feels better if you learn and embrace them. Attend your partner's tournaments, travel with them if that's what they like. Be concerned and ask them how they are fairing if you can't join them.
2. Surprise one another
Take your partner on a surprise date, send them a bouquet, or buy them their favorite wear. This gesture will rekindle your relationship, and your partner will feel the need to reciprocate. Also, a surprise acts as a sign that someone is still thinking about you.
3. Start all over again
Understandably, you can't live in the past, but you can try to do things as before while you were dating. Revisit the places you loved and dated, as this may bring back the first love. Date again, regardless of the years you've been together.
4. Take a break from each other
It's expected, you can't tell how a person is important to you until you miss them. You can't appreciate someone when they are always near you. Stay a day or more without your partner and let them miss you. You will be surprised how good you feel after them coming back.
5. Send sexy messages
Send them a flirty or sexy message through an email or text. By doing so, your partner will know you still love them, and you wish them well. Be naughty; he's yours, anyway. Leave a sexy note on his table or bedside.
Sex brings intimacy in one's relationship. No amount of sex is normal; it all depends on the couple's understanding. Some couples may do well without sex or have it after a long period, while others may be having it frequently. The key point is communication and understanding.
However, there are times when one partner isn't into sex. Please respect their decision and before you confront them, know what's wrong with them.