25 Ways To Escape The Friend Zone
If you are considering dating a girl who is your good friend, you will need to consider how to escape the dreaded friend zone. Here are 25 tips.
Jul 24, 2018
What does the friend zone mean?
If you are in love with a girl who only sees you as a friend, you definitely know how frustrating this can be. This means that the girl has already ‘friend-zoned’ you. If you want to take the relationship to the next level, you will need to determine what to do to come out the ‘friend zone’. The unfortunate thing is that there are many men who end up making the wrong moves in their attempts to get out of the friend zones. The biggest challenge with trying to escape the friend zone is that your friendship with the girl will also be at a risk. However, you cannot allow the fear of the unknown to prevent you from taking the relationship out of the friend zone. In most cases when you are in the friend zone, the girl will be unaware of the fact that you want to get into a relationship with her and she is quite happy with the friendship arrangement with her. Guys who are friend zoned will be stuck there and will be unable to transit the relationship into something more serious. This can be a frustrating situation. At times, the frustration can be sexually motivated as guys are left wondering how to escape the friend zone and get into an intimate relationship with the girl. This means that it can be a heartbreaking situation trying to escape from the friend zone especially when the member of the opposite sex that you are eyeing doesn’t feel the same.
Why are you in the friend zone?
There are many reasons that women give for putting guys in the friend zone. These include: 1. Not being ready to get into a relationship 2. They do not want to jeopardize the respect that you have for one another 3. They have just gotten out of a relationship and they need time to be by themselves As a guy, if you are always wondering whether you are in that dreaded friend zone, there are chances that you already are. The reason why women will put you there is because you are taking too long to take your interaction with her in the right direction. The good thing is that once you realize you are in the ‘friend zone’, you can just do the opposite to avoid the scenario. There are many things that guys can do to escape the friend zone. Here are some of them.
1. Consider what you want
Consider the kind of your desires. Is what you are feeling about your friend real or are you simply attracted to them? One thing that you need to note is that it is easy to get attracted by people of the opposite sex when you get along well with them. This can even happen when you are dealing with your friends. Before you approach her, you consider your needs and your chances of success. If you make an attempt on dating and it turns out unsuccessful, this may mean the end of your friendship. When you hookup, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you will be able to escape the friend zone. In fact, it might even end up making things confusing.
2. Talk to a mutual friend to escape the friend zone
One way of understanding how the person feels is by speaking to a mutual friend! This way you can measure the chances of success. A mutual friend is also the right person to advise you on whether to pursue a romantic relationship with her or whether this will only serve to jeopardize your friendship. If the mutual friend urges you on, you can ask them to canvass for you or at least put some subtle clues that you are interested. For instance, the mutual friend can make phrases such as “You two can make a good couple”. This will make the woman change her perspective on the relationship. You will also need to consider the impact of being romantically involved with your best friend.
3. Stop treating her like a friend
First, guys will need to show the girl early enough that they are interested in being more than just a friend to their girls if they expect any chances of success. You cannot continue treating her like a friend and leave her to propose to you. You should act in a way that will make the girl know that you like her more than a friend. This doesn’t mean that you should go kissing her feet. All you need to do is to text her some sincere compliments.
4. Stay in control
By being in control, you increase your chances of success and to avoid being in the friend zone particularly when you like someone. By getting out of the friend zone, you can easily free yourself from the boundaries and cage and allow your friend to know the sincere feelings you have towards them.
5. Choose the right timing
When you decide to make your intentions known, guys should avoid ambushing her with your proposal. Plan carefully, wait until the opportune time when the two of you are together and there are no embarrassments or distractions. Think about other details too. If the friend is going through a hard time or has just gotten out of a long-term relationship, this may not be the right time to make the proposal. The best way to achieve success and get out of the friend zone is by finding the right time when you have a common interest, spend time together and talk about the joy and frustrations that come with the dating game. In order to escape the friend zone, you will need to change how your friend views you and whether they enjoy your company or not. When hanging out with friends, single out the person you are interested in and engage them in a conversation. If possible, you can even diverge from the group to a place where you can engage in an activity – just the two of you.
6. Start small to escape the friend zone
Guys should avoid thinking that the friendship will turn into a passionate one in one night if they want to achieve success. Instead, allow the other person to relax and ensure that their perspective is updated. Attend a few dates that are non-casual before proposing another date that is more formal at the right time. Ensure that you make your gestures more playful and flirty before they escalate into affectionate ones. When you push too hard, you may end up scaring the person.
7. Show less interest to escape the friend zone
The fact that you are considering her for your girlfriend means that the two of you are in an imbalanced affair. Avoid looking needy as a way of negotiating your way into her heart. If you are desperate, you will get what she gives you rather than what you want. A good idea would be to show less interest and show that you will walk away if she is not ready for the kind of relationship you need. If you are willing to walk away, you will be in a better position to guide the relationship.
8. Avoid her for sometime
Staying all around the woman will only make her feel suffocated. Instead of doing that, why don’t you give her space? If she really values you, she will start missing you. The scarcity mentality dictates that people value something after it has been taken away from them. The moment she finds that you are no longer around you, she will start to feel your loss. The girl will start desiring you more and she will be ready to do anything to meet you.
9. Create competition to escape the friend zone
Go out there and make friends of the opposite sex. Ensure that you have a broad social network. Afterwards, you can start talking about these friends with the person you wasn’t. A little jealousy and competition can help you to develop the sense of scarcity. When people think that they will lose something, they tend to value it more. Once you keep yourself busy with other friends, you will find the person you desire showing you more attention and time. On the other hand, if you don’t find them getting jealous, there are chances that they want you to remain just as a friend.
10. Ask for a favor
You can ask for a favor from your friend. Unlike what people believe, when you ask a favor from her, she will like you more as compared to when you do her a favor. This is because the more a lady invests in a relationship, the more she will find it important. It doesn’t have to be something big; it may be as little as asking them to pick a soda for you from the fridge.
11. Be rewarding
You should be ready to appreciate what your friend does for you. When the friends prove to be good to you, it is important for you to be good to her too. Always be affectionate and attentive. When she does what you want, be sure to encourage her to continue that way.
12. Break that touch barrier to escape the friend zone
There are those little physical gestures that act as the building block for the deeper intimacy. Increase your physical gesture but always remain respectable. Remember that not all people like being touched. If you are not careful you might send the wrong message particularly if you will be acting in a presumptuous way or if you put the hand in the wrong position. You will also need to note that there is a difference in the way lovers and friends touch. Lovers can touch in a suggestive and flirtatious way. By getting into contact with her in an intimate way, you will influence how your friends view the relationship.
13. Make her understand your worth
This is an effective way that can make her feel that you are wanted. You can make her understand your worth by going out with other girls. This way she will not only notice but she will realize that there are other girls that want you. She might want to prove that she can have you and this is something that can happen to her subconsciously. When you find her acting this way, you need to realize that you are in a better chance of coming out of the friend zone.
14. Remain mysterious
This is another great way of coming out of the friend zone. One reason why men are trapped in the dreaded zone is that they don’t have ample knowledge on attraction. In order to get attracted to someone, you need to remain mysterious. When you do that, the girl that you are interested in with develop some kind of liking for you.
15. Make a move
Unless you want to remain in the friend zone, you will need to make a move. Without doing that, all your plan of dating the girl will remain nothing more than a fantasy. You can only accomplish your goal of getting out of the friend zone after you have made your intentions known. Since the girl will not be doing that, whether you date her or not will squarely depend on you.
How to make the relationship work
If your friend also has feelings for you, you will be lucky enough to escape the friend zone. You can now start working towards strengthening the relationship. Taking a relationship to the next level with a close friend can be quite rewarding as it shows that you are compatible. You will also be sure that she will accept you with all your limitations and bad side. This can make it easier for a relationship to work. The fact that you already know each other’s character, insecurities and habit can help you to skip those first stages of the relationship. On the other side, it may look a bit odd dating a good friend and you should give yourself time to make the necessary adjustment even as the relationship grows.
16. Live to the expectations
While it is always great to date a friend who had kept you in the friend zone for long, you will also need to realize that there are some dynamics that will change. There are new expectations and boundaries that will arise and this is something that you will need to respect. You can do this by showing your partner that you care for them and they are more than just a friend. You also want to stop treating the girl in the same way you used to treat her as a friend. You may want to alter the behavior that you used to show towards one another when you were just friends if the relationship will be successful. For instance, the person might be expecting you to text them every morning or even before sleeping. On the other hand, if you are not good in texting, you will appear insensitive the moment you start dating. If you find that not texting may be a source of conflict, you may need to change your behavior and be there to text her.
17. Do things together to escape the friend zone
Once you escape the friend zone, you can opt to continue doing the same things that you used to. Visit the park together if that is what you used to do, hang out with friends or engage in a favorite sport. The fact that you were already friends before getting into a relationship will go a long way in preparing you for the romance that is full of excitement and fun. It will also be possible for you to connect in a deeper level. You will also become more familiar with the likes and dislikes of your partner. This is on top of the fact that the two of you will always have something to talk about. One benefit of getting in a relationship with someone who had put you in the friend zone is that both of you will have a lot in common. This will make it easier for both of you to plan dates and look for good ways of spending time together.
18. Don’t involve friends in conflicts
When there are issues in the relationship, there is a need to communicate and resolve the issue in an open way. You can be tempted to vent your anger on your mutual friends but this can only serve to complicate the matter. You need to ensure that you there is some level of privacy in the relationship. The good news is that when you start off from the friend zone, it will even be easier for the two of you to argue as you already know what is it that puts off the other person and what to tell them when they are upset.
19. Tease her
A good point to start is by flirting with the girl. You can do that using some sweet words. However, avoid acting sweet all the time as this can make you be boring and predictable. While being caring to the girl is good, overdoing it can end up driving her away. Remember to send her some nice texts. Call her regularly and leave some sweet notes every now and then. But always ensure that the teasing is done in moderation. Don't send her a text in the morning and another text in the evening. You don’t want a situation where you are friend-zoned as the friend who is always teasing her.
20. Show your independence
Being clingy can only serve to annoy the girl. The moment she realizes that you depend on her too much, she will withdraw from you. Therefore the moment you realize that you have been put in the friend-zone, you will need to show the girl that you are independent and can live without her. In fact don’t just show her that you are only independent but also make sure you are independent of her. Be in control of your life and have a lot of fun. Ensure that you build your own path; take that path and you will see her wanting to join you.
Deal with disappointment
At times, your attempt to escape the friend zone will hit a wall. When such a thing happens, there are a few things that you can do overcome the challenge:
21. Accept the rejection
You should always be ready to be turned down when you invite the girl for a date or even when you propose to take the relationship to the next level. This is not because she hates you but it is just that she doesn’t feel the same way you do. When she rejects you, you should simply smile and continue acting in a way that she will be comfortable with. This will help to ensure that you continue remaining friends. The fact that she has put you in the friend zone doesn’t mean that the world will come to an end. You will actually feel better as you already know that you gave it a try but you did not succeed. You should also be ready to take a no for an answer. You will also need to realize that she will also feel equally sad because she turned you down. To ensure that she will not feel guilty of damaging your relationship, you will need to keep your head high. If you handle the rejection well, it will be possible to remain friends.
22. Get support for your loved ones
You can spend time with your family and friends. However, if you would like to soothe the discouragement, you should spend more time with family and friends. The more you can laugh and also distract yourself, the better and the more you will be in control of the circumstances. It will also act as a reminder that you got some caring people even where things did not go as per your plans. In order to put everything into perspective, you will need to talk about the problem at hand with someone close to you.
23. Spend time alone
It can actually be discouraging trying to get out of the friend zone only to be met by rejection. When this happens, a good idea would be to spend time alone. Avoid engaging in any social obligations for sometimes in order to help yourself reconnect and stake stock of the positive things in life. Devote some of your time to enjoying hobbies and developing skills. Be sure to comfort yourself during the hard times and you will never be worried about your failures.
24. Focus on your friendship
In the right scenario, you will have similar feelings with the girl and they may suggest that you take time to develop your friendship. This is definitely a good thing. While it may not be what you were aiming for, at least you got a clear- answer that helps you to understand where you are standing in the relationship. You will also understand better the aspects of a relationship that you can work on. Take this as an opportunity for getting a fresh start in the relationship and get closer. Remember that guys cannot have a guarantee that the people they are eyeing will not change your mind in future. The key thing is to remain contented with being just a friend to them. You do not have to feel as if all is lost when you happen to be put in the friend zone.
25. Avoid taking the blame
There are instances when the person you are interested in may feel that they are not ready to remain in friendship with you after you have made your intentions clear. When they react this way, avoid blaming yourself for the breakdown of the friendship. The most important thing is to remain honest with your own self. If you ignore your desire, the relationship can end up being frustrating for the two of you. You can try to ease the pain by writing the thoughts in a journal or getting emotional support from friends. In case the girl feels that she has put you in a difficult position and can therefore not continue to be your friend, it is an indication that she didn’t value your friendship in the first place.
Final word
You can come out of a friend zone with just but a bit of influence and persuasion. You should go for what you need in a relationship without settling for anything less. Bear in mind that you need to focus on your worth. Avoid getting desperate but be ready to walk away. If the girl really values you, she might agree to take the relationship to the next level.