Manipulative behavior in a relationship
Your loved one makes you feel the luckiest person in the world, but at the same time, he makes you feel unpleasant and confused. When he plays with your feelings, giving you the nicest compliments and the worst insults, then you are dealing with a manipulator in your relationship. Manipulation is not a matter of tactics but of a personality and circumstances. A manipulative person is not easy to recognize, but the text below will help you in this. In an indirect way, the purpose of manipulative behavior is to establish control over emotions, making us acting weird. Pay attention to following signs; if you notice any of them, then your partner is a proven manipulator.
Constantly fed #lies hurt people. Tears to my heart are worse than those in my eyes. Shame that people want #thetruth from you but will tell a lie and make an excuse to why!! #nevermind #gettingthrough #tired #readyfor #moreofGodsbest #bereal or #keepaway But I'm careful of what I eat anyways. #eatwell #mentally #spiritually #edible #alwaysaQueen #trulyblessed #wearyourcrown Rather #bealone than surrounded by #manipulativebehavior
Sign 1: "A victim" symptom as a mark of manipulative behavior
How many times have you heard your partner say "I have to do everything myself, no one helps me," "without me, they wouldn't do anything," "it's not my job, but I did that," etc? These statements simply scream "oh, poor me." A manipulative person never stops talking about his accomplishments, things that bother him, and what he did for others. He plays a victim just to upraise his actings. With this behavior, he wants to make it clear to you what kind of good Samaritan you have by your sight, and how you should be grateful for that. Each of us will sometimes sacrifice for the higher purpose, but when someone potentiates his role of a victim all the time, you have to understand he does that for a specific reason. Provoking your compassion and empathy, a manipulative person is a step closer to his goal.
Sign 2: Manipulative person is passive-aggressive
This is a specific symptom because, honestly, not everyone can do this. Passive aggression is the ability to turn rage on others so that the person is never openly angry and aggressive, but he can provoke the environment feels irritated and attacked. This person will forget all significant dates in your relationship, although he knows these are important to you. He'll be indifferent if, for example, you've got a promotion, or a family member visited you. He will never get mad in public; he will pretend that everything is perfectly fine. Indirectly, manipulative persons are angry, envious and vengeful, so they mask their rage with perfectly logical explanations and conclusions. However, behind the disguised aggression, which they express in specific ways, is a desperate need for approval from other people.
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Sign 3: Having no empathy
The manipulator simply does not care about the feelings of other people. For him, the empathy is an unknown word, even when it comes to the person whom he is in love with. Perhaps his love should not be questioned, but it is debatable if your partner doesn't show any signs of humanity. The manipulator has a strong character, but mostly in a negative sense. These are people who think only of themselves. Why would they show empathy for anyone, even toward an emotional partner? Your issues are not their priority. Empathy shouldn't be mixed with pity, though you can expect it from a manipulator. It's just watching things from other people's perspective and understanding them. And sometimes, it's all that anyone needs. From a manipulative person, you will not get that.
Sign 4: Manipulative person knows with words
Emotional manipulators are masters of words, rationalization, justifications, and generally, turning things into their advantage. Their lies are confident, so manipulative people can convince you that things are not like this, but like that. Almost always, you will be asked to reconsider yourself, while in fact, that person is someone to be re-examined. If you notice in your relationship that you always argue about who told what, and you are always "a bad guy," it's clear that your partner tries to manipulate you. The worst of all is that you can even find yourself in the role of a culprit. Your partner is trying to make you feel guilty. He'll convince you so firmly, that you'll end up apologizing to him for WW II and the extinction of dinosaurs.
Sign 5: His words don't match his behavior
Emotional manipulators will say what a person wants to hear, but their actions are quite a different story. They claim that they will always jump in if you need help, but when it comes to that, they'll pretend your requests are unreasonable. Manipulative people will promise you everything. When they talk, you'd think they could move the planet. However, when they have to get in the action, they withdraw and forget about their promises. But manipulator does it indirectly, so you won't have a clue that he doesn't want to help you; simply, a greater force gets in the way. If by any chance, he helps you, he'll make you never forget it. A manipulator will always remind you of that; you'll owe him for the rest of your life. People with manipulative behavior like to magnify themselves and their deeds like they are the Jesus himself.
Sign 6: Manipulative person is a "smart ass"
Egocentricity is one of the characteristics of manipulative behavior. People like this have a high opinion of themselves. They are absolutely the best in everything they do. And what is proof of that? Just their conviction that they are above all the others. Manipulative people know everything, and always have a comment that they could make things better. There is no debate with him because his word is always the last. He's a demagogue, and he will, with no doubt, convince you that his way is the only and the best way. Alternatives do not exist unless he suggests them. And this is again the best solution, judging by him. This type of manipulator if fine with you having attitude and ideas, but he won't care about them. Narcissism is related to this behavioral model, which we will describe in the next paragraph.
Sign 7: "Narcissus" symptom
Narcissism is characterized by psychology as a personality disorder. However, we will not go so far here; we'll use the term "Narcissus" to describe a person who has a very high opinion of himself and tries to convince others of that. In addition to being considered the smartest (described in the previous paragraph), the manipulator considers being perfect in every way. Appearance, behavior, attitude, there is no one better than him. We will give you a common example: you will notice that a person with a narcissistic behavior doesn't know how to choose a gift. No matter how long you've been together, for a birthday or anniversary, you always get something that you do not like. It just shows that the partner does not listen to your demands, wishes, and needs; he does on his own. He'll probably buy you something he likes, and he'll convince you it's a great thing. Let's get this straight, it is nice when people have a high opinion of themselves, but within the limits of normal. However, when someone convinces a partner, family members, and the environment that he is the best, the most beautiful and the most handsome, it's pure vanity and the true characteristic of the manipulator.
Sign 8: Flirting with everyone
Some people manipulate you in "a good way." These persons are in good relations with everyone - while that works for them. This type of people is especially charming, which they use to make it easier to achieve their goals. They like to flirt with everyone, to share compliments, to glorify and praise people in their environment. Manipulative people do not curry favor you; they openly show their affection so that everyone can see how good friend and a nice person he is. Trust us, it's just a show for a wider audience. The manipulator works that for achieving his goals. As soon as he does not fit with you anymore, you can forget about him. Example? The manipulator will share the compliment to the post-office worker to get over the turn; he will smile to stewardesses to give him a seat next to a window, etc. These are all forms of manipulation that people use for their benefit.
Sign 9: He's a master of machination
When we say that someone is a manipulator, it does not always have to mean he's a bad person. Sometimes, we also manipulate others, even if we are not aware of it. However, if you notice that your partner is prone to intriguing, cheating on others, or even gossiping, it may indicate that he is not a kind of person he represents. Creating intrigues, the manipulative person tries to hurt or damage others, and at the same time, to fulfill their goals. And he mostly does that behind their back. Face to face, with others, a manipulator will be great, their best friend and caring person; until they get away. Since we have already explained that such people are extremely good demagogues, he will come up with the whole story and present it to others, if he sees a benefit in it. If you know your partner is doing those things to his colleagues, friends, or even family members, have you ever wondered - does he do the same to you?
Sign 10: It's all about him
No matter how badly you are, a person who is manipulative will always show that he's in hundred times worse situation than you. After a while, you will find it hard to feel an emotional connection with a manipulator because he continually talks about his issues. For example, you had a bad day at work, and want to talk about it. Your manipulative partner doesn't let you finish; he immediately starts to describe the "agony and torture" he survived during the day. If you point him out to his behavior, he will turn the situation and make you the culprit. Although it's not true, you have to make great efforts to prove that. You shouldn't bother with that; every relationship has two members who supposed to be equal. Manipulative person thinks that world spins because of him. If you can't handle that, turn around, and get out of the bad relationship.
Sign 11: Manipulative person is an attention seeker
This symptom most often comes "in the full package" with narcissism and the need of always putting himself in the first place. Attention seekers are mostly people who manipulate you in a hidden way. In the company, he is always the main one, has everybody's attention and people feel a certain affection to him. This person likes to dominate, and he always feels the need for the approval of others. Although at first glance, he seems like friendly and flexible personalities, it is difficult for him to fit with someone on the emotional level. When the partner discovers his intention, the manipulative person will use their charm to convince him in the opposite. In this case, people whose "dying" for some attention are adapting to the "audience." If your partner has those mood changes often, this is a real symptom of a manipulator and a person who will easily deceive you.
Sign 12: Flattering as a sign of this behavior
One of the most common signs of manipulation is flattering. If we notice that your partner gives you numerous compliments and overly affirmative statements of love and affection, something is not quite right. Manipulative people are trying to fool us with fake kindness and tenderness. The manipulation can be recognized through honey-mouthed attempts to present your relationship far more closely than it is. In this dramatic and overwhelming expressing their "emotions," manipulative people seek to create a feeling of belonging to us and thus approach us. You'll recognize manipulation if, at the beginning of your relationship, you heard partner's life story, with the emphasis that you are the only one who understands him, that he has never met someone like you, you are the only person to whom we can be, etc.
Sign 13: Humiliating too
This symptom is completely opposite to the one we mentioned above. You need to know that there are several types of manipulators, and they are using a variety of tricks. If he doesn't flatter you, your manipulative partner offends you, most often without the right reason. Even if you don't argue, he tells you some bad words from time to time, just to humiliate you. Insults are one way of psychological harassment. The manipulative partner shows that he is above you, that you are not worthy of him and that you need to thank God every day for having him. His goal is to make you aware that you will never find someone like him. Remember, do not let yourself be a victim. If you notice this behavior, stop standing that, and look for your happiness elsewhere.
Sign 14: He'll make fun of you
This sign is another way how a manipulative person uses words for his benefits. Making fun of someone is not the same as offending, although both make you feel bad. The partner can mock you in various ways, and everyone will notice that before you. He always tries to disprove your efforts, work, and dedication. You're just not as good as you think, and he wants to convince you of that. By mocking you, the partner proves his frustrations, dissatisfaction, and complexes. Instead of supporting you, the manipulator will let you know you will never be good enough.
The Gargamyle. She's a big husky bully who's aging like milk. She got her position by overreacting for someone who had better since then to behave this way themselves. She was finished before she started yet has no idea. She's a shit starting machine who thrives on conflict. Divisive like her ancestors and unbalanced due to childhood abuse that she's never honestly addressed and moved on from. She's a chain smoking wanna be everything except herself but she pretends well. She's your supervisor get another job soon. . #stateemployee #countyemployee #cityemployee #workplaceharrassment #workplacebullying #manipulators #liars #sheep #gaslighting #fear #retaliation #blackwomenatwork #personalitydisorders #dentalassistant #dentaloffice #insuranceagency #schooldistrict #postoffice #fastfoodjob #workrelationships #deskpartner #manager #boss #coworkers #whitepeople #mexicans #blackpeople
Sign 15: Emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is another symptom of manipulation, manifested through direct or indirect threats from our partner. These "warnings" are reduced to a basic one, expressed in different ways - if you do not act as your manipulative partner wants, you will be punished. A partner who emotionally blackmails you know how much you love him; he is aware of your weaknesses, and usually knows some of your secrets. A manipulative person maybe cares about you, but when he's afraid something won't be as he imagined, he will use all available resources and begin to threaten you. In these situations, we feel frustration and resentment. Manipulators can comfort us, by giving us the attention when they get what they want, but remember, it always has to be on their own. When we oppose them, they punish us with guilt and self-deception.
Don't play his game
It may take a few years until you realize that you are in a relationship with a manipulator. It is possible that you're so in love with your partner that you do not see his true intentions. There are various types of manipulation, depending on which of these characteristics your partner is showing. We meet all kid of manipulators every day, and we often do not care about them. However, when a close person does that, it affects us in particular. Look out for the behavior of your partner and if he shows some of the above signs. When you realize that someone is trying to control you, it's hard to get away from it. Nor will this person easily give up on you; not because he loves you, but because he needs a victim to manipulate.