Boyfriend Pulls Away: What It Means
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Pulling away is one of the challenging situations some couples in a relationship today often find themselves. Just when you think you've got a man (or in some cases a woman) to share your emotions and future with, you just discover they are gradually withdrawing their affection from you. He starts to ignore you and the number of times you both spend together either on phone or physically reduces to a level that you're worried about. Before, he used to chase you and would not mind doing anything to court your attention, but now he doesn't care anymore. You guys have not broken up but you can sense visibly that something is wrong somewhere. The emotional connectedness between you and your boyfriend is no longer as strong as it used to be; this is what is meant by the phrase "Boyfriend pulling away." Of course, you are smart enough to know that from just being a mere pulling away thing, you can eventually lose your boyfriend and lovely relationship if something is not quickly done to stem the tide. But, relax, that's the purpose of this article. You'll get some suggestions on what to do should your man pull away from you. However, let's first try and see why this mysterious attitude surfaces in some relationships.
Why Do Some Men Pull Away?
This is one of the questions that are very hard to answer authoritatively. The difficulty lies in the fact that no one can effectively predict why a person is doing what they're doing except themselves alone. Whatever point or reason that is given here as to why a guy would at a point in his relationship ignore his girlfriend or withdraw from her, is at best a guess and may not necessarily be the case. The need lies on the man to tell exactly why he's doing that. However, here are some possible reasons. Perhaps he needs some space to deeply reflect on the relationship. Where he fails to withdraw and continues to chase, he may not actually have the needed time to evaluate how things have been going between you both. So, sometimes, in order to avoid coming to a false conclusion about a relationship, some Capricorn men often decide to pull away. Well, it may just be that the young man is insecure emotionally. Maybe you have once talked him down and challenged his manness and he has no other way to prove his masculinity than to withdraw from you for a while or ignore you totally. It sounds ridiculous actually but it is not impossible. If your man wants you to chase him, don't be surprised he may also adopt that strategy. He pulls away and allows you to miss him. Of course, guys who use this strategy would have first established a strong relationship with you such that you cannot even think of life without them. When they thus pull away, the natural thing is that you would chase him with the whole of your strength. Again, let's not leave out the possibility of a very troubling life challenge. It is not impossible that your guy is passing through an emotional challenge that automatically closes him down. That is, he may not have closed up himself willingly to you but the weight of those challenges may have caused him to withdraw from you without him knowing. The list can be extended to include several other reasons. It's quite paradoxical in a sense that someone who loves you would pull away from you. Truth be told, it's a very traumatic experience for a lady. The big challenge here is knowing how to react so you don't end up pushing him away further. For this, just read on.
What To Do When He Pulls Away
What you do or don't do here may determine if the relationship will come to a close or continue. Usually, when a woman notices that her man is pulling away, the natural response, especially if she's a Pisces woman, is to want to do everything to get him back. Below are some five strong pieces of advice that you should consider if you find yourself in that situation where your man pulls away. It would serve you well to heed each of these pieces of advice. Here are they.
1. Don't Try To Pull Him Closer; Give Him Space
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Yes, you heard that well. When your guy pulls away, don't do the "normal" thing by trying to draw him close to yourself at all cost. He feels he needs some time to stay away from the relationship and no amount of begging or effort from your end can change his resolve. Rather, the more you try to chase after him, the lesser your chances of succeeding. If he's a Capricorn man, for instance, you can't expect to win him by appeal or logic. He's tactful even though he may appear docile. Before a Capricorn man can conclude to pull away from you, a lot of thought would have gone into the decision. And once he has arrived at that conclusion to pull away, you would do well to let him be. Perhaps you may know that when a guy (Capricorn or Pisces) pulls away, it is usually for a reason. And in most situations, it does not mean that the relationship is over yet. You may not even be the reason for him pulling away. There may be some things in his life that need careful thought for which he's seeking a kind of retreat. He may have considered it wise to withdraw from you for a while so that he can get fresh ideas on adding flavor to your relationship. So, you going up and down trying to pull him close while he wants to stay back may amount to disturbing his plans and may chase him further away from you. While he pulls away, you can message him in whatever way you know to assure him of your love and respect for him. Never make mention of anything that would suggest that you are desperate to have him back. Having assured him of your love and loyalty, just let him be. By the time he's through with himself, except if he doesn't love you, he'll come back and be even better.
2. While He Pulls Away, Make Yourself More Irresistible
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The truth is that you're going to feel hurt and lonely that the man you care so much about now ignores you. The usual reaction is to want to teach him a lesson or make him too feel how frustrating it can be going through your experience. Granted, you have the right to be angry and to feel the way you're feeling. But then, it may not actually achieve anything for you in the long run. If you really want to get back at your boyfriend, the best way to do so is not to lash at him but rather to work more on yourself and be a better woman. While he pulls away, don't sit idly somewhere mourning a person that is still alive. Be up to something. In fact, the more you remain inactive, the more you're going to feel hurt about his absence. Put a little bit of effort on your appearance and relationship with other people so that by the time he comes back (if he would), he himself would know he has missed someone. If he refuses to come back to you, you wouldn't be losing much because you have put your time into a productive usage. You have perhaps built a relationship with other people from where you can move on. It's understandable that you love him but again, you have to understand that love cannot be forced, it has to be freely given. So, instead of forcing him to demonstrate his love for you, just carry on with your life and find a way of believing you both never met or dated. If he's in for a breakup, you'll soon know, and if it's just a temporary withdrawal, there's surely a limit to which he would continue to ignore you.
3. If He Pulls Away For Too Long, Speak Up
There comes a time when silence is no longer golden. You have allowed him the privacy he seems to be craving and now that it is getting a bit longer than you expect, you have to discuss what the matter actually is without any further delay. Even in a rehabilitation center, there's usually an expected time of recovery for every case. Whatever be the case with your man, if he pulls away for more than a month, you should sit together with him to discuss the future of your relationship. Where nothing ominous is on the way, no man that loves you would stay too long away from you for whatever reason. Be that as it may, you will have to employ tact even while seeking to know what the issue is with him. Avoid the condemnatory tendency for which you are very prone to. Let him know you feel bad being ignored and that you have allowed him to have all of these periods to himself because you never wanted to disturb him. In your discussion with him, let him know that his choice to ignore you by pulling away can only be interpreted to mean he doesn't want you again in his life. Hence, before he becomes offended that you're with another man, he'd better let you know what his plans are. Let him know how much he means to you but also tell him that he cannot continue to pull away forever and hope to keep you. By this approach, you have not blamed or rebuked him for choosing to pull himself away from you. What you have done is to simply make your emotional needs known to him. If he's a Capricorn man, his intuition would tell him you have tried enough. He's likely going to apologize to you for the time he's not been too close.
4. If You Made Him Pull Away, Apologize
Although one would not expect that a man would pull away because his girl has done him wrong (except he's the Pisces type), it is possible to discover if you are the reason he did that. If during your discussion with him, as suggested in the previous point, you discover it's because of an issue he has with you, just apologize. That's one more reason you have to be tactful in communicating with him when you choose to. If he's a Pisces man as we have suggested, you'll notice he's very easy-going and romantic and because he doesn't like to have a face off with you, that's why he decided to simply pull away. Pisces men are passionate and emotional and this should be an advantage for you. Don't argue with him because he must have been deeply hurt before resulting to pull away. All a Pisces man needs from you is your genuine apology and everything is over. The key thing here is genuineness. If you apologize only by your lips and not your heart, a Pisces man would know and instead of winning him to yourself, he may even pull away completely. However, as a rule, to forestall your man pulling away another time, you have to put aside those things he detests. You can easily get to know things that pull him from you either by asking him or studying yourself. The truth is if you're careful and willing enough, you would know. Pisces men are not weak as you may be tempted to think, they only do not like confrontations. They are one of the sweetest categories of men to be in a relationship with and you must have noticed that. If he means so much to you, apologizing sincerely for what you have done is the smallest thing you can do for them to keep your relationship alive.
5. Quit If He Persists On Pulling Away
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Whether he's a Capricorn, Pisces or any of the Zodiac signs, if you have tried your best to pull him to yourself and he insists he wants to pull away, please let him be. This is one thing you may find hard to swallow but it's necessary you do. You see, while many may want to make you believe that a man deciding to pull away is a normal thing, the truth remains that it is a female approach. You, the woman, should pull away while he chases you. Real men rarely pull away from challenges or their woman if they have one. All we have done so far is to give your man the benefit of doubt. There may indeed be some justifiable reasons for him to pull away but when all those have been cleared and he still refuses to come back, it may just be the time for you also to pull away. If he has to pull away every time you hurt him and then you have to pull him back each of those times, do you think it's a thing you want to keep doing? The point here is simple. You have a limit as a woman for which you can continue to chase a man. He should rather do the chasing. No one is saying you should give up too easily on a man you love but if he has refused all your entreaties or he likes to pull away every time you both have an issue, again the best thing to do is quit the relationship.
On A Final Note
A man can decide to pull away for so many reasons some of which may be tangible and some, intangible. Whenever he does that, there is no doubt you as the woman would feel frustrated, lonely, or deeply hurt. We have identified the 'normal' thing you may want to do when he pulls away and then suggested that though they are 'normal,' they should be shelved. Sometimes, it is not what we think that a thing is that it actually is. You probably don't even understand why your man would pull away and that's why it is not okay to pull away also when it happens. You've got to give him the space he seems to want and while he's away -- assure him of your love. In fact, as we have noted, if you discover you're the reason he pulled away, apologize and turn a new leaf. Howbeit, he cannot continue to pull away forever; you need him. If you have tried to pull him to yourself and he has refused to be pulled, you may also have to pull off completely from the relationship. After all, love is love only when it is voluntarily given. It rarely needs a pull even when it is offended. So, save yourself the stress of getting lost in your quest to keep a man that obviously wants to pull away.