30 funny and cheesiest pick up lines for nurses

Have a great laugh on these finniest pick up lines for nurses

By Kimmy
30 funny and cheesiest pick up lines for nurses

Funny and Sweet Pick up lines to use for female nurses

It's time to pick up a nurse! Nurses are always perceived as the ultimate sexy profession. They're kind, gentle, healing (literally). They just know how to take great care of people. And their white dress just makes them look even more pure, really the angel that's here to save you when you need it.

What would be a good pick up line for nurses? There're so many out there! Here we've got the best 30 ones for you to try out!

1. I'm scared to have one apple a day because I don't want you to go away

The classic. If being sick for the rest of your life is what it takes to see her, so be it, right?

2. As someone as good as you at listening to hearts, you certainly aren't listening to yours to go out with me

This one will definitely crack a smile on her face. It's true though. Confidence is the key to success. Be confident that she wants to go out with you and in the end, she surely will want to! 

3. Can you check my heartbeat? I think it's beating too fast because of you

Isn't it romantic to just tell the girl that she is making your heart beating crazy? Being moved by heart is always better than saying she's got a great ass.

4. Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here

A sweet and perfect way to tell her that she's just the angel you need in your life. Nurses are probably the closest profession to angels as there can be. They're nurturing, always ready to take care of someone. And most importantly, their care is also unconditional. They take care of you, no matter who you are. As long as you need it. What a beautiful soul!

5. I can't wait to come to your office and take down my pants

Only try this one is she is a humorous and funny girl! This could really go both ways for you. Either you will think you're witty and funny and bold, unlike most other guys that start out shy, or you will get kicked out of the place and potentially a punch to the face!

Know your audience. This pickup line could either get you very far or straight to the hospital.

6. I need an inhaler because you just took my breath away

Every girl likes to hear that they look gorgeous. It's a natural self-esteem booster and will make her want to hear what else you have to say.

7. Stop being so sweet! I might get diabetes!

Tell her she's just the hot cup of chocolate you need to get through a cold winter night. Sweet and hot. This pickup line is true for most nurses. They're just so caring and make your time in the hospital much easier. 

8. I don't know if I want to get better if it means never seeing you again

Sounds like it's straight up from a romantic comedy or something. Definitely, something the male lead would say to the female lead right at the end where they don't know if they will see each other again. This is for sure a rom-com-like pickup line. It just depends on how cheesy you can go to pick up a nurse!

9. I need medical attention! I hurt myself pretty bad falling for you

Seeking medical attention from the one that caused your injury in the first place is smart. Only the one that hurt you can heal you, right?

10. I'm not an organ donor but I'd give you my heart anytime

It's always nice to find that one person that you can give your heart to. Although there might be a slight chance that with this pickup line, she is going to persuade you to be an organ donor instead. Better think of something to say when she does!

11. I think you should take the temperature instead of me, because you're looking very hot

This is somewhere a funny pick up line. Most nurses would laugh about this one because it's sweet and cheesy at the same time. It will definitely make you stand out if you're daring enough to try it!

12. We should study some anatomy together

Funny and direct. This pickup line could get you what you wish for if you know how to play it well!

13. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I can’t hold it in.

Definitely a dark sense of humor, but you never know. Some people love a dirty joke like that (literally)! Make a funny face as well when you say it for the best funny result!

14. I don't think I'm fine, my heart just skipped a beat because of you

Just that cutest thing to say to the girl that you're attracted to. Who doesn't like a love-at-first-sight kind of love story? You could easily make someone's day just by saying that!

15. I think I need some Vitamin 'U'!

I'm not so healthy these days because I'm lacking some vitamin 'U'. Only you can make me feel better! A cheesy yet cute pink up line that guarantees you a smile on her face!

16. I'm a little low on oxygen because you just took my breath away

Tell her how smoking hot and stunning she is. It's probably the most common pick up line but it's also a very good one for nurses. And hey, you don't need some oxygen to feel better. As long as you can spend some time with her, I'm sure you will feel better already!

17. It's better for you if I switch nurses, because it's not moral to date me while I'm still your patient.

A very bold and determined statement. Maybe you're onto something. Probably she just doesn't want to date you because it would compromise her work ethics. Now you know what to say to the nice, and pretty nurse that has been taking care of you but you don't know if asking her out is a good idea!

18. Can you show me how to do mouth-to-mouth, on me?

Knowing how to perform CPR is important, it could save your life. Mouth-to-mouth may seem easy but there're also a lot of techniques that you need to know. What's better than learning them from a registered nurse so you know you can do it right when you need it! 

19. I don't feel off anymore every time I see you because you turn me right on

It's very important to have someone that makes you feel better, especially when you're feeling down. Sometimes people don't realize that their presence is the best thing they can give so you just need to let her know that!

20. I can do rapid clothing removal so fast that you'd be amazed

Yep, show her how it's done! The fastest and best way for clothing removal! Everyone needs that skill at some point in their life. While she may laugh at you for saying that, she probably won't be laughing once you have shown her!

21. On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?

Another classic for all Americans. Are you as free as America tonight? I sure hope so! This is something you grew up hearing because it's funny. But when you get picked up by it, it's even funnier and you know you will have a good time laughing with the person that says it.

Funny and Sweet Pick up lines to use for male nurses

People think that male nurses are a rare breed. They're hard to come by. But if you do find one, he is usually the best person you will ever meet. They are kind and gentle. Most importantly, they know how to take care of someone. The perfect guy for every girl.

Male nurses are always thought to be less manly by people. This is actually not true or fair. You don't need a job to show how manly you are. Besides, there're many different sides to a man. Male nurses tend to show the sweetest and caring side.

Here're the best pick up lines for male nurses. Watch out for hot male nurses on your next night out!

22. You're burning me because you're too hot!

Who can resist a hot male nurse? Sometimes it seems like they're looking that hot so people won't get so scared about going to the hospital anymore. 

23. You take care of me so well, I'm sure you will be a good dad to our kids

Not only crazy single ladies with 30 cats will talk about having kids the first time they meet a guy! This cute pick up line will work as long as you wink at him while you say it!

24. You're in the wrong profession. You shouldn't be a nurse. You should be my husband

We all at some point dreamt about a caring husband that's as loving and as cute as a nurse. Having a nurse as a husband would make your life so much easier because they just seem to have this magical power to handle kids when they're being annoying!

25. It's so nice that you smell so good in a place so depressing

Hospitals can be really depressing indeed. Especially if you're there with no family or friends. Having someone that smells good in a place like that just brightens up your world, even just a little bit.

26. I think you should sleep with me tonight just to keep me safe

Yep, making sure your patient is fine is important. Sleeping next to a nurse will surely make you feel a lot safer at night!

27. Did we go to school together? I swear I could see us having chemistry

Are you sure we never met before? I swear I could see us having chemistry even when we first met!

28. With all the 206 bones in your body, I can give you an extra one

Slightly heading to the naughty way, not so subtle but definitely playful. Works like a charm for male nurses you meet in bars. Might not work so well for the nurses taking care of you in the hospital though. They have to, remain a professional after all.

29. I'm diagnosing you to see if you'd make a good boyfriend

It's a two-way street! You don't just get diagnosed. You're diagnosing him at the same time as well to see if he can be a great boyfriend-material.

30. I guess they hired you because you bring in more patients, you're just too hot!

Great asset to the hospital! Generating more money because people are just hoping to stay a little longer to see your face! That's how hot you are!

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Everyone has had the fantasy of picking up a nurse because they're just so angelic. It's like picking up the purest and most innocent girl/boy in the world. They just have the power to make you want to be kind to them as well. Well, now you can try out these 30 pick up lines for nurses and see which one works best for you!