Third Date Rule: Etiquette & Expectation Advice From A Love Guru

Read Third Date Etiquette and Expectations Of Dating

By Gerald Matiri
Third Date Rule: Etiquette & Expectation Advice From A Love Guru

A third date marks the point where you become part of your special partner. Is the third date rule fact or fiction and what is the best etiquette?  

The Significance Of The Third Date

The third date is not like any other date. It is a stage in which the course of a relationship is determined. It is a sign that things are going on well for you and your partner. It’s not yet time to name your relationship, but you are practically a couple. The general rule is that the first date is usually a test of likeability; the second date is a confirmation of compatibility and romance; while the third date is the deal maker. In other words, it is the point at which a romantic relationship commences. The success of a third date is dependent on how well you have been engaging your partner in your life after the second date. Do you keep in touch with calls and texts on a regular basis? Communication is key to creating a greater bond that brings two people closer.

Third Date Rule Demystified

Is it true what people say about the third date rule? You already know the expectations of the third date as you’ve heard this many times. It is not clear who came up with the notion, but it is a gnerual rule that couples should get intimate during the third date. This idea is very common and has been a self-fulfilling prophecy for most couples. Do you think it’s true or it’s just a misconception? Should you make love at this stage of dating? A love guru thinks that there is no simple answer to these questions. But there are some indirect answers you can get if you keep reading.

Are Third Date Expectations Realistic?

Most women have a general rule that you to wait for at least five dates before sleeping with a new guy. Perhaps a few would recommend you wait for six dates or until your guy proposes marriage! This tells you something: whether you engage in intercourse at the second date, the third, or the tenth is not a big deal.

Is Physical Intimacy A Prerequisite?

How much do you value sex? It is true that intimacy is what defines a romantic relationship but how vital is it to you? As a rule, finding a guy who meets you on the subject of physical intimacy is more crucial than your perceptions about the subject matter. If you don’t want to indulge in risky activities, there is no point in dating a guy who wants to jump into bed with you straight away. On the other hand, if you are looking forward to dating a guy who will satisfy your burning sexual desires, it doesn’t make sense to wait too long say till the ninth date. No one is judging you as far as sexual preferences are concerned, neither are you obligated to follow specific rules. Just remember to do what your heart tells you.

Back to the questions about the importance of physical intimacy: disagreeing over intercourse can be a major impediment to a romantic relationship. The first though your guy will have if you refuse to sleep with him is that you are attracted to him. You might even be attracted to him but, the chemistry could be missing. You might be anxious about the future of the relationship, and you want to be hesitant about moving things forward. That’s entirely on you. Also, the two of you might be perfect for each other, but without intimacy, your relationship is less likely to survive in the long run.

As a rule, you need to get intimate to enjoy a healthy relationship; otherwise, your man could resent you or you end up not trusting him. To answer the question well, here is the answer: you are the only one who knows what’s best for you. You have the best advice from a love guru to answer all questions related to sex on the third date.

Third Date Etiquette

Making it to the third or even second date is a huge accomplishment. The general rule is that it is the supposed date on which you are to make love to a guy you have been with on two occasions only. Forget about wherever that advice came from. Are you sure you want to take off your clothes and engage your body, soul, heart, and mind to some guy you have spent a few hours with, let alone days? What if he dumps you afterward, goes MIA, or hurts your feelings. To avoid such disillusionment, here ae the rules you should follow on your third date. 

1. Ask In-Depth Questions

As a rule, you want to know about this guy’s temperament, how he reacts to crisis, his negotiation skills, and assertiveness. It is a general rule that you should ask these questions as they will help you determine if you want to invest your time in this relationship.

2. Make Your Rules in Advance

Your standards will determine the success rate of the date rule. Make sure you set your guidelines and expectations up front. This way, you will only attract the kind of man you deserve. The last thing you want is a guy who wants to waste your time. If he doesn’t meet your standards, he is not worth your love. With standards, it means that you are not looking for a hookup but something rather serious. Do not settle for less than something real. If he happens to act uncomfortable when you give your rules, you should know that he is not good for you; and if he accepts them without questions, then he is worth your time.

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3. PDA is Your Friend

This is good advice if you are on your third date. Hold his hands as you walk and cuddle when it’s just the two of you in the park. As a rule, you can hug and kiss him when saying goodbye to create a romantic mood. Because this is going to be a special day, make it memorable with a passionate kiss as you part ways

4. Show Respect

This is a general rule of any healthy relationship. You want to respect his boundaries because you want yours respected too.

5. Make Fun of Your Date

The rule of the first date demands that it be left formal as you try to put on your best behavior. On the third date, you can ditch the clean etiquette by poking fun if he does something silly. Tease him about funny incidents so you can create a lighter ambiance. These date shouldn’t be all about romance. Make sure you reveal your funny side too.

6. Follow Your Instincts

By the third date, you should be comfortable with your guy. You already know if he is interested or not. The general rule is that you shouldn’t be doubtful, but have faith in the relationship.

7. Keep Your Emotions in Control

Be careful of your emotional and physical behavior. You could be bored, excited, or worried; keep your feelings in check. Note that how you look physically can sometimes indicate what you feel inside. When you are not sure how you look, go the washroom and take a good look at your face. If your heart is pumping rapidly and you’re sweating, you could be nervous and what you need is to take a deep breath and relax.

8. Show Him a Different Side of You

There could be that one thing about you that you think he could resent. The third date is the perfect time to drop the bombshell. As a rule, you are allowed to talk about a past relationship, your current problems, or about your kids. You don’t need to explain the entire story but only a little to test his reactions. Show him your quirky side so he can start getting used to it.

9. Don't Be Too Extravangant

The rule of the third date is that it should be casual and more exciting. So, you need to pick an activity that the two of you love. Splurging is not a good idea. Remember that you will be getting into the guy’s life so you must discuss personal goals, ambitions, and passions.

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10. Watch His Behavior

What’s his public etiquette? Is he rude and how does he treat the waiters? Find out if he wants to know more about you or just wants to talk about himself throughout. Watch his body language to know if he’s telling the truth or not, e.g., touching his face when talking.

11. Share A Kiss! (You've Earned It)

By now, you should be comfortable with this guy, and there is chemistry between you two. It is okay to kiss because you are now a couple. You must be carving for him, and so is he. A kiss will foster the bond of your relationship that’s why you must make it memorable. How you kiss him depends on whether you want to take it to the next level or not. If you don’t want to indulge in physical intimacy, keep it short and simple.

12. Don’t Jump The Shark

At this stage, you cannot call this guy your boyfriend. Do not try to act like he is all yours by introducing him to your friends and family. You still have a long way to go.

13. Be A Little Coy With Him

As a rule, do not make everything so obvious. Leave him guessing so he can desire more of you. I know you like him very much, but it would help hiding some things about you for now. This is an old but golden rule.

14. Avoid Compromising Situations

Let’s say you have spent your third date in a zoo or amusement park. Accepting to go to his place afterward will only mean one thing to him- you want to get intimate. Unless you really want to do the intimate act avoid such situations at all cost. As a rule, make sure you have transportation money otherwise he might take advantage of your situation. As far as intimacy is concerned, you shouldn’t be pressured to do anything physical. If you trust him enough, there’s no harm in getting down to the deed.

Exciting Third Date Ideas

Here are some other interesting third date ideas to explore:

1. Take a tour
2. Meet for brunch
3. Suggest a spin class
4. Go to the zoo
5. Choose a romantic spot for a picnic
6. Invite your date to your place

If you feel like it, you can invite him to your condo but don’t forget about the third date rule. If he values you, he will not rush into sleeping with you. Wait a little longer before you get intimate and stop thinking too much about how to end the third date with an intense, intimate session- you might miss out on the most exciting part. Do not be concerned with sexual tension but rather how to have fun and boost romance. You want to play it safe and take it slow if you want a perfect fairytale romance.


The idea that physical intimacy will happen during the third date is not a hard and fast rule. While most people’s expectations align with this rule, real-life dating experiences follow a different pattern. After having drinks and watching a romantic movie, the next thing is not what you think. As a rule, heading straight to sex is not a good idea if you want to develop a meaningful relationship. Sometimes, sexual pressure destroys romance. Instead, focus on knowing your partner better and show some efforts in doing so.

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