10 Effective tips in overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

At some point in your relationship, you're going to be in a situation where you'll feel jealous about something or someone. That's natural if it's occasional and mild, it becomes a problem when any of you starts to feel it in a pathological degree. That could lead to ugly consequences and could put an end to your relationship. 

Jealousy in a relationship (especially the one that's irrational and not based on reality) is hard to understand because it is a complex reaction involving all kinds of thoughts and emotions and behaviors. We'd like to help you understand it, so you can identify and fight it.

First, jealousy is an emotion, so it comes from within and usually, it is rooted in three main causes:

This is the most common source of jealousy and it has its roots on low self-esteem. Is that feeling you get when you do not feel confident that you're good enough or valuable to keep his interest in the long-term. That's the worst, right?

When you or he has low self-esteem those ugly feelings of jealousy could be triggered by the most innocent situation, like talking to someone from the opposite sex or just glancing at someone on the street. 

Feelings of jealousy could be triggered by the fear of losing your significant other. You need to do a reality check here. Are you sure this feeling of losing is because you're taking each other for granted? Then go ahead and work on it, it could strengthen your relationship. 

The red flag arises when this feeling of losing becomes irrational or obsessive. You or he can start to obsess with the idea that you're going to leave each other for someone "better". 

When you waste time and energy trying to be better than others, you most definitely have jealous feelings. You are jealous of what she has achieved, or of her looks and you are in a constant competition (that's just on your side) because you view her as a potential threat. She's going to steal him, so you have to be better. 

Jealousy can be the worst, having a jealous partner or being one is not awesome as it can corrode a relationship and just give you misery. You have to know the difference between healthy concern and out-of-control jealousy. This last one should be a red flag and you should be on the lookout. 

To help you identified unhealthy jealousy we'd like to offer you some examples.  

One thing is to be genuinely concerned about his whereabouts, that's normal and healthy. The red flag arises when you ask him to "check in" or you call or text him constantly while he's out with friends.  A healthy couple trusts each other.  

If you're suffering over jealousy, you may feel the need to look through your partner's phone just to be certain he's no texting or calling anyone who may pose a threat to your relationship (or that's how you perceive it).

Demanding a detailed account of where he is, or what he's doing (even if he is at work?), is a sure sign of unhealthy jealousy.  

When he's talking to someone else, you always suspect the worst of him, like he must be flirting with her even though you know her and nothing is going on. 

Always keeping tabs on your significant other's social media accounts (follows, likes, comments, friends), is a sign of jealousy.

As we said above, jealousy in certain cases is normal, it starts to be problematic when it causes you to act or wallow. If you are starting to feel this way, or your partner is acting out a lot and it's making the relationship unbearable, then it's time to do something about it.

You need to learn to manage it, so you'll know how to deal with jealousy and overcome it. Here are 10 tips on how to do that, check them out, we hope they help you or someone you know. 

If the relationship matters, a little bit of jealousy is required and almost expected. It means that you care enough to make the relationship work. If you recognize and accept this as normal and move on, you'll be able to overcome it. The opposite could occur if you deny that the jealousy exists or that it never happens.
 
if you want a healthy relationship regarding jealousy, then don't deny that sometimes you get jealous about the little things, just acknowledge them and don't let them control you.  

Has he given you cause to doubt his faithfulness? The most probable answer would be no, so those crazy thoughts live only in your head. You need to trust him otherwise the relationship doesn't have any future, because jealousy would always be your companion and he will eventually get tired of this.  

That is like a version of a "time-out" when you feel overwhelmed about a person in his life (attractive co-worker, or ex-girlfriend), you can do a mental exercise that could help you overcome the jealousy and cope better with it.

Making an appointment with your jealous thoughts works like this: Note the time when the jealous thought makes its appearance, then spend 20 minutes concentrating on it, and then move on. After some time if it's the same thought you'll be bored or you won't care anymore. 

Coping with jealousy by constantly interrogating him or checking his phone or stalking his ex-girlfriend on social media is actually going to make you more anxious (especially if you don't find anything incriminating). So if you have any of this toxic habits, reevaluate them and if nothing good is coming from there, throw them away. 

A strong relationship has its basis in giving each other freedom as they are deserved and needed. You can't dictate the freedom of your significant other, so to conquer jealousy you'll have to avoid too many restrictions.   

Jealousy could arise from miscommunication and misunderstandings. Don't let your mind run wild with irrational thoughts, it's best to clarify things so you can have peace of mind. Ask him about that something that's bothering you, just don't interrogate, do it in a form that's conducive to a rational conversation. 

If you're looking for a tactical way of coping with jealousy, this could be it. It hurts a little but it could prove effective. Put a rubber band around your wrist and when a feeling of jealousy start to slip into your brain, snap the rubber band. This snap could actually help you snap out of jealousy before it overcomes you. 

Jealousy is based on unfounded irrational thoughts that live only on your head. You need to let your rational mind overpower them. This is a fundamental point when overcoming jealousy. You may think that he's interested in someone else, but that doesn't mean that he is, thinking and reality are very different, learn to differentiate them. 

You need someone who can provide an outside perspective regarding your jealousy issues, and that's where a good friend comes handy. Talk to your friend or friends about what's happening, they can help. 

If it happens that he's really being unfaithful and is cheating on you, if you really have proof, then do something about it. Your focus here should be on what to do: break up with him or work past it.   

Maybe you need a little more help with your jealousy issues because you're finding it hard to let go, to trust, to help your self-esteem. How about finding time to read a book or two on how to overcome jealousy in a relationship? 
 
You are on the right path, you acknowledge that you have a problem and want to do something to resolve it and move past or move on. A self-help book can help you achieve that, so here are a couple of them. 

This relationship self-help book can really help you cope with jealousy, it contains proven steps and strategies on how to deal with jealousy and all those trust issues while you're still in a relationship or even if you just have come out of a traumatic one with those issues.

This book will help you understand why you or your partner are jealous and the things you can both do to resolve the problem before it gets worse. 

If your relationship is struggling with trust, insecurities, envy and jealousy issues, this book could really help. Once you've finished reading it you will know how to overcome feelings of jealousy, build, establish, maintain and regain trust in your relationship; deal with your significant other issues of mistrust and insecurity as well as your own.

It hits all the major issues that you have to deal with in a relationship when jealousy makes its appearance so check it out and find time to read it. 

Rage, suspicion, humiliation, possessiveness, low self-esteem all that mix together equal jealousy. That's an ugly mixture and if you let it, it can threaten your personality, take over your mind and destroy your relationship.

That is why attacking it before it's too late is crucial for you to have a healthy and happy relationship. Now you know what it is, what causes it and how to deal with it, so attack it and don't let it take over you or your relationship.