Signs of emotional disconnection
There are quite a number of things that can cause a woman to have an emotional detachment from her husband or vice versa. This is usually the case especially when she is married to an emotionally abusive husband. It’s always as if his mind is already preparing itself for some kind of dissociation or detachment that is about to happen. Emotional detachment is usually accompanied by certain, tale-tell signs. Some of these signs include being snubbed consistently, not caring, avoiding deep eye contact or the usual silent treatment. Again, emotional detachment can go both ways meaning that it’s not always the man who initiates it. If you ever find yourself in such a position, you need to cut yourself some slack and just leave before it’s too late. The more you stay in such a relationship, the more toxic it will become, and the more it will end up hurting you. Here are twenty signs that should confirm that you are emotionally disconnected to your emotionally abusive husband and need to get out!
1. An emotionally abusive husband keeps to himself
One of the most common signs of emotional numbness is not having any desire to open up. Your husband might be going through some problems at work or with his health but will still choose not to let you in. This is simply because he isn’t emotionally invested in the relationship like he used to and therefore doesn’t see the need for doing so. This will be a complete opposite compared to when your relationship was still young. When two people are emotionally connected, they simply just can’t wait to share everything, good or bad. At this point, you might want to reach out, like the loving wife that you are. But the only emotional response you are likely to receive from him is putrid anger as he lashes out. The same applies whenever you try sharing with him. Your emotionally abusive husband will always find a convenient way of ducking the conversation. He might also avoid sharing by giving flimsy excuses or just shut you down (especially if he doesn’t have a soul).
2. Your husband will stop caring about you
Not giving two-hoots about you is usually the first sign that your emotionally abusive husband is emotionally disconnected from you. Whenever you start a conversation, your husband will either find ways of shutting you down or even worse, he will respond to you in the rudest way possible. Furthermore, he will try to show you he has much more important things in his schedule than care for and about you. For instance, he will care more about the Premier League than for you when you are down with migraines or crumbs. A man that loves you will turn down the game night with the lads in a heartbeat just to be with you when you are sick. If this ever happens to you, you’ll definitely know where you stand with him without even asking. Don’t bother trying to figure out where you went wrong because, at this point, he clearly needs a divorce. I say grant him his wish and go find someone who will respect and love you like you deserve to be respected and loved.
3. You disgust your emotionally abusive husband
Apart from hiding stuff from you and ignoring you, your emotionally abusive husband will also find you disgusting for no apparent reason. Women are always smart enough to detect this sign as soon as it happens and should, therefore, be taken with a pinch of salt. This is because, at the beginning of any relationship, any man adores his woman. Therefore, any change in the adoration wouldn’t go undetected. And that’s exactly what happens the moment the emotional detachment starts. He’ll always find fault in every little thing that you do or not do and quite frankly, you’ll find this behavior to be hella exhausting. Remember how he worshiped the way you made his stake? Now he’ll not even touch it because apparently, it has too much salt when you clearly didn’t put any. In other words, your best will simply not be good enough for him. And if he has nothing to complain about, you should start preparing for your usual dosage of silent treatment. This is usually because he’ll stop at nothing to find something to complain about. And that, my dear lady, is how you’ll tell your relationship is on the brink of crumbling like feta cheese. If this ever happens to you, it should serve as a green light to get the hell out before it’s too late.
4. Sex with your husband isn’t enjoyable anymore
Another sign of emotional numbness is distasteful, awkwardly bad sex. Sex between people who love each other is supposed to be incredible and oozing with waves of passion. But as the attraction dwindles, so does the fire in the sex. And in the end, the sex is just downright boring and briefer than Amber Rose’s ponytail. Unfortunately, this sign of emotional detachment usually flies under the radar undetected as “many women” will find excuses for the bad sex. Don’t be “many women”. And in the end, you’ll realize the relationship was a long time ago and that you’ve been lingering in a sea of toxicity. Efforts to reclaim your relationship at this point will only bring you more disappointment and heartache. Even when you decide to hit the gym to get your sexy back or invest in new lingerie in a bid to make him attracted to you again, it won’t work. Therefore, the only thing that you can do at that point is to pray that the bridge you are about to burn will light up your way. And after saying Amen, rise up and leave that emotionally abusive husband of yours in the dirt where he belongs!
5. When your husband stops saying “I love you”
The reason why your emotionally abusive husband stopped saying “I love you” is because he stopped loving you, plain and simple. There is just no other way to put it or massage the reality for you. That said, the earlier you accept this, the better it is going to be for you. In worse case scenarios, you’ll find yourself getting no response whenever you take the initiative and utter the three magical words. Unfortunately, the abuse doesn’t stop there. Whenever your emotionally abusive husband stops telling you that he loves you, his actions will follow suit, if they haven’t already. Nothing he does will ever reflect his love for you. The romantic foot massages after a long day at work, the random raunchy text messages and everything else will, all of a sudden, come to a screeching halt. And this is because he is emotionally disconnected from you. And if that’s the case, you should also slap him with an emotional dissociation and walk out with your head help up high. Trust me when I tell you this; there are plenty of men who are dying to date a woman like you, just the way you are!
6. An emotionally abusive man can’t maintain eye contact
A wise man once said that the eyes are the window to one’s soul. And for that very reason, your emotionally abusive husband will avoid any form of eye contact with you. This is because he feels guilty for not being man enough to tell you that there is no more attraction between the two of you. He is fully aware that he is still a boy who needs to “take several seats” and reevaluate his manhood. He knows that a real man steps up and stands by his true feelings no matter the consequences. But then again, he just doesn’t have the balls to do exactly that. So, what does he do? He opts to go for the silent treatment while giving you hell. But since you are several points higher than him in the IQ Department, you should be in a position to read all of these signs and leave him to his sadistic detachment.
7. Your husband stops prioritizing you
Another common sign of emotional numbness you ought not to miss is when you stop being his number one priority. When your relationship was still new, your husband used to give you all the attention in the world. Whenever you felt unwell, he’d take charge of everything in the house, including the cooking, just so you could have ample rest and heal. On top of that, he’d complain about your taking too long in the bathroom wearing your makeup. But despite that, he’d still wait until you are done before complimenting you on your look. But now, all he does is complain over the most trivial of things. At times, he’d go about his business without a care in the world. And if you are feeling unwell, your emotionally abusive husband will act as though your health isn’t his business. If you ever sense such attitude coming from your husband, then you don’t need to wait for any other signs of emotional abusive to manifest. This one is enough to show he is already disconnected from you emotionally.
8. He’s emotionally abusive if he’s not making you happy
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Behind any normal woman in any normal relationship is a man trying his best to make her happy. And she isn’t happy, then her husband is usually somewhere trying his best to put a smile back on her beautiful face. But that is never the case when it comes to the constant nagging, bitter and emotionally abusive better half - or is it the worse half? Once emotional dissociation kicks in, he’ll automatically stop caring about you. If he used to buy you the latest brand of shoes or makeup, he’ll start doing the exact opposite. And if you are looking forward to anything, then it should be within the lines of pissing you off or making you sad, neither of which you deserve. In his mind, he wants you gone in a second. At this point, nothing is going to change his feelings for you, not even a relationship counselor or the Holy Spirit. If this ever happens to you, it should act as a cue to leave. Don’t even wait for the silent treatment or any other signs of emotional detachment to manifest. This one should be enough for you to leave him!
9. Your emotionally abusive husband will flirt openly
Another disrespectful exhibition of emotional numbness is when be your clearly disturbed husband starts to openly flirt with other women. He’ll get in the habit of doing this when he’s sure you are watching. This is meant to give you a deep, unforgettable heartache and, for that matter, is just about as low as an abusive man can ever choose to stoop. The problem with emotionally abusive people is that they lack the guts to walk away even if they aren’t happy in a relationship. They instead choose to hurt their wives so that they can blame them for choosing to leave. So, if you ever find your husband flirting with other women and isn’t apologetic about it, chances are that he is emotionally disconnected from you. When caught, he won’t flinch a muscle or show a shred of emotion even if you are clearly gutted by his actions. Therefore, the best thing you can ever do for yourself is walking away with your dignity is still intact. Any man who is willing to stoop that low clearly has no respect for himself. So how on earth do you expect him to respect you? That’ll never happen.
10. Your husband will be reluctant to come home
Another sign you are emotionally disconnected from your emotionally abusive husband is when he’s always never in a hurry to get home. This is because he doesn’t look forward to seeing you - period. Chances are that he is probably seeing someone else but isn’t willing to tell you. And the reason why he isn’t ready to tell you might because he wants to torture you with the suspense. And when you decide enough is enough and choose to leave on your own accord, he’ll shamelessly blame you for that. He’ll also have plausible deniability since you can’t justify that you left because he was cheating on you. You need to fully understand that the worst kind of men is the ones who are emotionally abusive. And that’s why you need to get the heck out of that relationship before it’s too late. It is also during such times that you’ll realize your husband is taking way too many “business trips” abroad. Chances are that he isn’t even leaving the country when as he claims. He just might be in some country club knocking back countless bottles of beer while gloating to his plastered drunk divorced friends how he has you on a leash. Don’t get it twisted, this is strong a sign of emotional dissociation – one that you ought to take with a pinch of salt.
11. He’ll never be happy around you
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Another obvious sign of emotional detachment is your husband never being happy around you. In addition to the awkward silent treatment, you’ll realize that hanging around him is becoming unbearable by the minute. And in the end, you’ll see it fit moving out before serving him with the much deserving divorce papers. If you have been having suspicions, I’d advise you to keep a close eye on him. You might catch him happy but all of a sudden, his attitude will change as soon as he catches a glimpse of you. He won’t be happy to see you like he used to when your love was still young and driven by passion. The good thing about the signs of an emotionally abusive husband is that they are very easy to tell. And the earlier you detect them, the better off you’ll be since you’ll have the chance to leave before irreversible damage is done.
12. When your husband becomes passive aggressive
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When your husband is slowly graduating to emotional numbness, he’ll always exhibit passive aggression. That’s supposed to show you that he’s painfully uncomfortable being around you and the sooner you leave him, the better. But if you know anything about relationships is that you can’t leave your better half alone. It’s a “for better or for worse” kind of thing I suppose. In short, passive aggression not only points to you being emotionally disconnected but also shows eminent danger. And for that matter, always watch out for the earliest signs of passive aggression. And the moment you detect it, it would be shrewd to take immediately jump ship because your “relation-ship” is about to go the Titanic way.
13. An emotionally abusive man’s language is vile
A man experiencing emotional dissociation or detachment has zero respect for his woman. This will be reflected by his treatment of her and in the language that he uses around her. And for the umpteenth time, no woman is supposed to go through a life like that. So, the moment you realize that he is getting abusive, demand that he either respects you or you walk out. If he doesn’t apologize and change his ways – which in the case of an emotionally abusive individual is highly unlikely – then leave by all means. At this point, how much you love your man doesn’t really matter. If he doesn’t put any effort towards making you a better, much happier person, then, for the love of God, leave him already!
14. Your husband will dampen your ambitions
Your husband will do all in his power to kill all of your dreams. If you have made an achievement out of a task you have been undertaking, don’t make the mistake of informing your emotionally abusive husband about it. This is because he won’t congratulate you. Instead, he’ll find joy in shutting you the heck down! Emotional numbness is revealed perfectly when your husband is trying his best to destroy every opportunity likely to make you happy. It’s even bizarre to think your husband is capable of doing this. That’s why it marks the highest point of emotional disconnection that needs not to be ignored. If this ever happens to you, don’t even bother looking for more evidence of emotional abuse. Just know that he’s fed up with you and the sooner you give him space, the better it would be for you – and your mental health. Besides, you deserve to be loved right. Thus, if your estranged husband doesn’t feel like you are enough for him, then bid him goodbye and close that chapter of your life permanently!
15. He’ll provoke you more
Once you figured out your husband is emotionally disconnected, you should do all in your power to divorce him. He thrives on making you feel worthless; doing things he knows jolly too well will irritate you and that’s why you need to leave as soon as possible. For instance, he will start leaving the toilet lid up or not picking after himself just to gauge your reaction. Like earlier stated, emotional dissociation takes a toll on everybody, even the strongest of women. Therefore, you’ll need to give him the detachment that he is working tirelessly and cut off all sorts of communication with him.
16. Your husband looks his worst
Long gone will be the days when your man would do just about anything to put a smile on your face. This time around, his appearance, just like it will be the case with his treatment, will suddenly change. He’ll stop cutting his hair or cleaning himself as regularly as possible. And woo unto you if you ever dare complain. He’ll give you the coldest shoulder you’ve ever experienced. Well, don’t get it twisted because this is emotional numbness at its all-time high! If this ever happens to you, then know that he is abusing you emotionally and it’s time to ditch him!
17. He’ll never take you out
If you and your husband are emotionally disconnected, feel free to also bid the possibility of going out on romantic dates a long, heartfelt goodbye. This includes all of the anniversary and birthday dinners. All of a sudden, his idea of fun during his birthday will be staying out having a good time with his buddies. The only way to repay him is by serving him with a permanent dissociation because, for the millionth time, you deserve better.
18. An emotionally abusive husband is always vague
When your husband doesn’t care to explain or elaborate what he wants from you, then you shouldn’t rule out emotional detachment just yet. What he’s simply trying to achieve with this is making you sick and tired of him. There is always an end game with every kind of treatment you get from an emotionally abusive husband. You should, therefore, give him what he wants and stop trying to work on something that will never happen.
19. He stops being playful
If your husband used to flirt and play with you, he’ll stop the moment he becomes emotionally detached. That’s a very strong indicator of emotional numbness that you should never make the mistake of ignoring. Also, you shouldn’t wait for any other signs or emotions to resurface because if you do so, it will be at your own expense. If he is emotionally disconnected from you, you won’t have to strain in order to see the symptoms. More often than not, these signs are displayed right in front of your eyes.
20. He’ll always come home full
Just because this isn’t a major emotional dissociation symptom doesn’t mean it shouldn’t raise a few red flags. When it comes to emotional detachment, never overlook even the slightest signs because a seemingly small mistake can end up making a world of difference. At times, an emotionally abusive husband would want to spend the least amount of time talking to his wife. So, the one thing he does to achieve this goal would be to eat and drink with the buddies and only show up when it’s time to sleep. Then he would leave for work in the wee hours of the morning. This sign of emotional detachment is usually accompanied by a full dose of silent treatment in the form of long stretches of awkward silence. If you have children, they will likely notice this. And in some cases, they’ll be compelled to voice about their opinion about the obvious awkwardness between the two of you and how uncomfortable it makes them. Do yourself, and your children, a favor and just bolt before it’s too late.
As mentioned a couple of times above, detecting the signs of emotional numbness is as easy as telling a B from a bull’s foot. And being the smart woman that you are, you aren’t expected to engage in this or any kind of toxic game. Understand that at that point, there is absolutely nothing you can do for the relationship and move on is the only option you have left. The more you fight for your crippled relationship, the more it will take a toll on you. Therefore, stay strong, cut your losses and move on. I fully understand that doing this is very difficult. But it is always smart for you to end things much earlier than staying, hurting more and still have the same outcome in the long-haul. Always remember that you can’t be happy whenever you are married to an emotionally disconnected husband. The good news is that there are plenty of real men out there who will love you like the royalty you were born to be. Therefore, it is absolutely pointless wasting your time trying to salvage a marriage to someone who doesn’t care.