Why do guys get boners?
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As funny as it may sound, guys, experience all kinds of boners and for a number of reasons! It would, therefore, be good to know the reasons so that in the case of an unexpected boner, the world will understand instead of judging. In most cases, boners are out of our control. Therefore, all guys can do is sit with one or have sex and get sorted! Sometimes, a boner can appear out of nowhere and boom, we are stuck with it for the next couple of minutes. A boner can also be as a result of stimulation, either physical or psychological. Physical stimulation happens in the form of touch or while psychological stimulation is triggered by what we see. So, the next time you choose to flash a pair of tits in your boyfriend’s face to get his attention, be ready to take care of boner as well. Some physiological have also been notoriously known for promoting boners. For instance, when a guy hits the gym or is super excited, the increase in his blood pressure might end up earning him an unwanted stiffy. The same also applies to him every morning when his bladder is especially after a couple of hours of sound sleep. Therefore, understanding the different kinds of boners is important because it will help you find ways of dealing with it. Without further ado, here are different boners, their courses and how to get rid of them.
1. The workout boners
While many fitness enthusiasts will shy away from admittance, the workout boners are pretty common in the fitness world. This is because while working out, the stress of pumping the iron increases blood pressure and this can result in a boner popping up to say hi. Normally, the guys wouldn’t even notice whatever is happening until they feel their sweatpants bulging. In worse case scenarios, a training buddy would point out the stiffy while laughing his soul away, which can be quite an embarrassing situation. But since it’s a normal occurrence, it almost always ends up not being such a big deal. So, how do the fit guys deal with such embarrassing boners? Well, there are quite a number of ways to keep this boner in check. Relaxing until your blood pressure is down can do you some good while making the boner flabby. You can also get in the habit of wearing some tights under your baggy sweatpants in order to keep your stiffy perfectly hidden. If you have no problem with the boner, you can always ignore it and continue pumping the iron. Once the boner notices you aren’t giving it any attention, it will skedaddle. Trust me, boners know exactly when to quit and when to stand at full attention. Little attention seeking bastards!
2. Guys experiences the bladder induced boners
This kind of boner is common in the morning particularly after waking up from a deep, peaceful sleep. Its root cause is having a full bladder because of not being a fan of bed wetting. Therefore, the moment you notice the bladder induced boner at troop attention, the best thing you can do is relieving yourself. Don’t wait until it’s done singing the national anthem. Identifying a bladder induced boner is quite easy. You’ll feel the urge to pee the moment your eyes open after a night of uninterrupted sleep. Sometimes, the boner may remain strong even after relieving yourself. If this is the case, you shouldn’t worry about because there are still many ways of getting rid of it. Inform your girlfriend/wife about your little problem and she’ll be more than glad to help you out. Besides, sex in the morning is the best thing you’ll ever experience. Many people feel relieved after morning sex and are likely to end up having a super productive day. You can also rely on the bladder induced boner because it will always be at troop attention status every morning waiting to salute you the moment your eyes open.
3. Guys also experience pseudo-boners
Women always claim to have more problems than men. And in as much as the claim might hold some water, it is a fact that we guys also have our fair share of problems. Among our glut of impediments are the existence of fake boners. Sometimes, our jeans or denim pants bundle up on the crotch area, making it look like a fully-fledged boner. And what makes it hella uncomfortable is that fake boners happen to be the most noticeable of them all. And yet you can’t just keep explaining yourself because at some point it just gets exhausting. Thankfully, guys are choosing to ignore the fake boner and going about their business as usual. And thanks to this kind of mentality, the pseudo-boner slowly becoming a not-so-big a deal. But if you are tired of these fake boners would like to get rid of them, then all you need to do is the following. First, you can either choose to wear official pants made from materials other than jeans and denim. Secondly, wearing oversized tops that cover up the boner area can save you a lot of hustle. The third and final option is stopping everyone who looks at your pseudo-boner and giving them a thorough explanation. Needless to say, the third option is indeed a total waste of time.
4. Guys experience the after-sex boners
It goes without saying that many guys have experienced the stubborn, super-hard after- sex boner when they least expected it. Guys also happen to feel helpless when this type of boner shows up unannounced. And for some twisted reason, girls just love them because it means some hot, orgasmic sex is on the way. These boners are usually, as a result, guys of having sex so good they just can’t seem to get enough of it. And with that in mind, their subliminal mind will communicate to their penises, make them hard and ready for yet another round. This boner allows for guys to go for as many legit rounds as possible - which is good for morale and the relationship as a whole. All that aside, how does a guy get rid of such a boner? Well, there is only one way of getting rid of the after-sex boner. It does involve turning your girl over and having some more of that bomb sex. Besides, only a fool would want to put this kind of hard boner to waste. Chances of you giving multiple orgasms without even sweating are definitely very high. And the good news is that you’ll always know the kind of boner you are having when you feel it. Therefore, you shouldn’t pressure yourself especially when that stubborn after-sex boner decides to show up and say “hi”. It might just be a blessing in disguise.
5. Guys also experience the mother of all boners
Just like men, not all boners were created equal. Some boners happen to be way too big and ferocious for their own good. The thing about the “mother of all boners” is that it doesn’t have a specified show-up time. It can show up in the morning, when you are enjoying your sleep or even when you are just chilling, minding your own business during lunch break. This boner is usually a sign of lack of sexual contact and it's usually a sign that it’s about time you got “jiggy” with someone of the opposite sex. This would be a good time for you to pay your long-distant girlfriend a connubial visit. If you don’t have a girlfriend, then try calling up your friends with benefits friends. If you don’t have some friends with benefits, you might wanna consider visiting the nearest titty bar. But always remember the importance of using protection especially if you are considering sleeping with a total stranger. You can also get rid of the mother of all boners by simply jerking it off to an adult movie and forgetting it ever happened. This is because if you choose to ignore it, you’ll suffer the consequences and live to tell the tale – with the possibility of surviving being “iffy” as hell.
6. Viagra boners for guys who can’t get it up
Guys end up taking Viagra for a superfluity of reasons. Some just want to cheat unsuspecting girls that their sex game is supernaturally good. Others use Viagra as a last resort because, for lack of a better word, they just can’t get it up. Regardless of one’s personal reasons, Viagra use always results in having the hardest boners ever. And the only way of getting rid of a Viagra-induced boner is by having sex. There are many different brands of Viagra on the market. With that in mind, you should restrict yourself to only using legit, medically approved brands for your own sake. You should also use Viagra at times when you are assured of having sex because the boner can be unbearable without it. Some of the symptoms of using Viagra and not having sex include lack of sleep due to an uncomfortably throbbing boner. Finally, avoid overuse of Viagra to achieving “larger than life” boners because it can result in health-related issues including heart problem. If you are to use it, then moderation should be your modus operandi. Guys end up taking Viagra for a superfluity of reasons. Some just want to cheat unsuspecting girls that their sex game is supernaturally good. Others use Viagra as a last resort because, for lack of a better word, they just can’t get it up. Regardless of one’s personal reasons, Viagra use always results in having the hardest boners ever. And the only way of getting rid of a Viagra-induced boner is by having sex. There are many different brands of Viagra on the market. With that in mind, you should restrict yourself to only using legit, medically approved brands for your own sake. You should also use Viagra at times when you are assured of having sex because the boner can be unbearable without it. Some of the symptoms of using Viagra and not having sex include lack of sleep due to an uncomfortably throbbing boner. Finally, avoid overuse of Viagra to achieving “larger than life” boners because it can result in health-related issues including heart problem. If you are to use it, then moderation should be your modus operandi.
7. The magnificent, middle school boner
Many teenage boys struggle with this kind of boner. And no matter how hard they try to conceal it, this magnificent boner will always find a way around their flimsy, desperate efforts. And the thing about such boners is that they can either make or break an individual. And all this depends on the setting in which they choose to manifest. And because of this very reason, every guy has a funny story about the middle school boner and how uncomfortable or confident they ended up making them feel. The middle school boner is purely linked to hormonal imbalance that is a normal occurrence in all teens. It is obvious that teenage guys have a hard controlling their raging hormones. Unfortunately, they are bound to experience these boners regularly until they mature into adulthood and their hormones are at equilibrium. Sadly, there is nothing guys can do to get rid of these boners permanently. So, the only option they have is to either have sex or jerk the boner off.
8. Guys suffer from the “no reason whatsoever” boner
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This is the kind of boner that’ll choose to sneak attack when you least expect it. It might choose to happen in the morning when you’re asleep or even worse when you are at work. It’s preposterous that many guys get “jumped” by their own boners when they are at the center of attention. When I was still on campus, I remember this one particular lecturer trying so hard to hide his “no reason whatsoever” boner in front of about two hundred people. It was painfully embarrassing for the poor old man. Thankfully, he recovered from the incident and even made a joke or two about the entire incident a couple of lectures later. This kind of boner is brought about by a number of reasons. It might be because of high blood pressure, nervousness, straining at the gym or the event of having steamy, erotic thoughts. It’s therefore important for you to relax and let it pass because just like a rap career, no boner will last forever. If you are in a position to have sex, then make use of that boner while you still can.
9. The “bro(ner)” A.K.A the most wanted boner
Judging from the title, you can tell that this is simply the most appropriate boners – in the history of all boners. This is the boner that automatically happens when you are just about having sex. This boner is a naturally induced and has everything working towards achieving it. The harder the boner, the more incredible the sex is going to be. The “bro(ner)” can also happen to guys at any given time of day including mornings, evenings and middays. As long as guys are on the verge of getting laid, they’ll always rely on this particular boner to come through, which, as earlier said, is the most convenient of all boners. The “bro(ner)” can be hardened when gently stroked especially during a make-out session. The cause of this boner has mental, visual, physical and hormonal origins. Therefore, this boner is highly anticipated and, unlike his other impolite cousins, has never caught guy off-guard. For that matter, this boner will forever be the cause a lot of joy and happiness in the world for ages to come. If you want to promote the bro(ner), it is always a good idea avoiding stress or masturbation. That way, the bro(ner) can always come in full swing and end up giving you the best, most pure joys when having sex.
10. The “guy with a dirty mind” boner
Despite being among the most embarrassing ones, the “guy with a dirty mind” boner is among the most popular boners because guys entertain one too many dirty thoughts every passing day. In our defense, we live in a world that constantly bombards us with images of hot, almost naked women. And since guys love beautiful women, we can’t help a dirty thought crossing our minds. And it's during such a time that we’re left with no other choice but to entertain a boner. The good thing is that the boner can be quickly taken care of simply by switching your thoughts. The same ways that have been mentioned above can be used to bring the fellow to relax and get flabby. Clearing your thoughts from lustful thoughts can be a good start when dealing with this kind of boner. Relaxation is also another amazing way of getting rid of this boner as well as all the other boners.
As you have already learned by now, there are quite a number of boners that a man experiences throughout his lifecycle. It is therefore important for them to take note so that, as earlier stated, they can know how best to react when experiencing any of them. If you are experiencing a morning boner, enjoy some good old boning before kick-starting your day won’t hurt anyone. And in the cases where you just can’t sort your boner issues out, especially for the unexpected boners, it’s always important to sit them out. Always remember that no one has ever had a permanent boner. Just give it time and it will definitely pass. Last but not least, it is high time people stopped judging natural physiological processes such as farting and getting a stiffy. Getting a boner is good and it should be appreciated rather than shunned. Imagine if it was the other way around!