10 Effective Tips On Getting Over A Long Term Relationship

Trying to get over a long term relationship is difficult. Soon enough, you will enjoy a normal life again if you follow these 10 strategies.

By Gerald Matiri
10 Effective Tips On Getting Over A Long Term Relationship

Tips for getting over a long term relationship

It doesn’t matter if you ended the long term relationship or he did, moving on will be stressful because it means readjusting your life. The sooner you get over the relationship and begin a new life, the better. You will need tips on how to cope with a breakup after a long term relationship.

I . Get over a long term boyfriend by rediscovering yourself

Do you remember what your life was like when you were single? The hobbies and friends you used to have kept you going. Even if you cannot turn back time to when things were simpler, you still have a chance to start over. Perhaps your ex-boyfriend liked arguing and you had a lengthy confrontation before you called it quits. You can now enjoy peace of mind and you should feel empowered because you will be making your own decisions once again now that you're out of that long term relationship. It is also the perfect opportunity to delve into things your ex never approved of. Choose a crazy hairstyle or overhaul your wardrobe! Buy yourself a new car! Take the breakup as a blessing in disguise as you are going to enjoy life again as a single lady. Isn’t that exciting?

II. Make new friends

Apart from your old friends, meet new people to build a more exciting social world of your own. You are going to have wonderful moments catching up with friends and family you neglected while you were in a long term relationship. Make dinner reservations with friends, go out to the movies, and attend the parties you have been craving for to get over the long term relationship. Apart from enriching your life, socializing will enable you to share your feelings and rant about the problems you’re going through as you get over the guy who broke your heart. The worst punishment you can give yourself is to stay at home all alone, crying over him and moping all day long. Get up and have fun! If your old pals are super busy, join new clubs or gyms and find new hobbies. That is where you will find new people to interact with. Keep it platonic though; do not jump into another relationship without taking your time to get over your old long term relationship.

Girls on safari... #safari #friends #bestfriends #newfriends ❤️🌍

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III. Remind yourself of the good in the past

When trying to get over a big breakup, especially if it was a long term relationship, it's easier to focus on the bad things that led to the split. However, if you can remind yourself of the happy moments you had with your ex, you can yearn for a meaningful relationship in future. It is not easy to get over the bad bits, which you should always keep in mind, but do not let them take over your thoughts. At first, you will feel lonely as you try to get over the long term affair, but you will feel better if you remember all the good things that came out of the relationship. Remember that your health comes first and you must banish negative thoughts by engaging yourself in constructive activities like exercising.

The art of healing by Nikisha: tools for mourning the death of a relationship (friendships, family, divorce, boyfriend, girlfriend) & passing of loved ones. . . . 🔅Rest 🔅 Eat, & eat healthy. Some of us lose our appetites, some of us eat more. 🔅Have friends make you food or bring you food if you don't have the energy. 🔅Forgive the person or yourself quickly 🔅Talk through it w/ a friend or therapist 🔅Laugh, watch comedy 🔅Take CBD oil is amazing for calming nerves. 🔅Write a good bye letter saying bye to the things you are losing & a hello letter saying hello to everything you are gaining, what you still have left, & what you look forward to. This helps you feel every emotion. 🔅Listen to Spotify Rap Caviar playlist don't listen to sad music, that includes Drake. Someone told me that once 😝🔅Drink lots of Lavender tea. It's great for heart break. It offers a profound easing of anxiety. 🔅Do something that's familiar to you to bring some comfort. Like binge watching your favorite show. 🔅Start a hobby 🔅Travel, meet new people. 🔅Workout. There's yoga, dance, martial arts, cycling, etc. You'll feel great about yourself & get those happy hormones going. 🔅When emotions come whether it’s pain, anxiety, anger, sadness, guilt. Let them come. Don’t run from it or numb it through being busy, or drinking & eating excessively, or taking drugs. You have to allow them to come. Know that they are just visitors. They will leave. Emotions are never permanent. They come & go. You will experience them in waves. And no two experiences are the same, so don’t compare your grieving to the way someone else grieves. When the emotions you don’t want to come, come....allow yourself to feel it & then release the feeling. Don’t live in it. You release the feeling by replacing that thought that leads to that feeling, with a positive thought. Say a mantra to yourself over & over throughout the day. You have the power to shift your perspective. One I love is: “I will be ok. Things are happening as they should.” 🔅Meditate. I love the Simple Habit app. They have a meditation for everything. This will keep you in a positive calm space. . . ❤️Please share things that have helped you heal.

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How to get over a broken marriage

10 years and four children in your marriage sounds like a lifetime. Losing all that after divorcing can be a huge blow. You may not have told your kids why you left their dad. Without a doubt, trying to get over a broken long term relationship is one of the most aggravating challenges and sometimes you will feel like you are mourning the death a beloved. You can get over a divorce or a long term separation with the following steps.

IV. Seek a network of support

You are now a single mum and maybe your extended family lives far away- you now have to raise the kids on your own. The first thing you need to do is take advantage of the available resources. Make friends with your kids' teachers and the neighbors. This strategy may not take away the pain brought by a divorce but your children will need a support network. This will also help you to get over the long term break up by forming new social circles. Find at least one friend with a great sense of humor to make you laugh out loud when you’re having dinner together. This can help you get over your broken relationship. Remember that some of your old friends might run away and will not want you in their lives. You will save your sanity if you join women support groups where you can have kid’s parties and give one another rides to town if need be. Emotional support will help you get over the debilitating hurdles of long term separation and divorce, but practical support is more relevant for a single mother. You will need someone like a nanny to pick up your kids from school when you’re busy making ends meet. This is the time you learn the importance of being friendly in your neighborhood because you will need people for assistance in a pinch.

V. Keep your children out of your divorce issues

Even though the pain of dealing with an ex-husband is inevitable, the problems between you and him must be not be known by your kids. Of course, there are a lot of personal feelings involved but you cannot criticize him in front of the kids. Exposing kids to these issues can bring about negative psychological impacts like low self-esteem in teenagers, bed-wetting, and risky behavior. Under no circumstance should you force the kids to take sides while you deal with your ex-husband and tryto get over your broken long term relationship. Focus on maintaining a loving relationship with your children but don’t get stuck obsessing over the pain caused by your ex. Do not allow the situational depression to linger longer than it's supposed to even as you try to get over it.

VI. Compose a goodbye and a hello letter

When trying to get over the relationship, take a pen and list everything that will no longer be the same now that you have separated from your husband. You'll want to say goodbye as a wife, the celebrations you had as a couple (e.g. your wedding anniversary), and perhaps seeing your kids every day if he has taken custody. You have to forget about the in-laws and close friends of your ex-spouse so that you can begin a fresh life. In your hello letter, write down the things that now make you happy as a single woman and what you are anticipating in future. Say hello to a new lifestyle and you will feel less depressed. Since recovering from a marital breakup is not a one-time big time thing, you will need to write the hello letter more often.

Things you must not do while recovering from a long term relationship break-up

VII. Do not seek a rebound relationship to get over your ex

Jumping straight into a rebound relationship may be tempting at the moment since you are feeling lonely and trying to get over the breakup. A new boyfriend might seem to fill the void left by your ex and help you get over your broken long term relationship. Here's the thing: a rebound relationship will rarely work out, and many times hidden emotions come to light and create more issues. It's not the solution when trying to get over a broken long term relationship. The problem with a rebound boyfriend is that you don’t take the time to get to know him. What you feel is infatuation, which will fade away quickly. The situation is described as an unreasonable fake love characterized by sexual desire, urgency, and anxiety. These are not good indicators of being in love and you will end up being disillusioned and confused. Take your time before saying yes to another man after ending your long term relationship. Before committing to love once again, make sure you have gotten over your ex and you have redefined your life. Even a soldier doesn’t return immediately a war after suffering wounds - he has to heal first. Get over your breakup before getting into another long term relationship.

VIII. Stay out of contact with your ex-boyfriend

Checking up on him will bring back the negative feelings that prevailed during the breakup. In case meeting him is inevitable - for example, he’s your boss or ex-husband who took your kids - keep the meetings formal and get straight to the point. If you can continue being friends, keep your distance and make the rules of your friendship very clear. This will help you get over the long term relationship. You must cut off all communication with him if you want to get over him quickly. Let him go - even from your social networks and avoid all forms of casual talk. Accept that you are no longer together, deal with the pain directly, and take your time before you consider being friends. This will help you get over your broken long term relationship. Even if you share common friends with him, you now have to avoid them. But be polite and tell them you’re a bit busy. This will help you move on with ease. The last thing you should do is to try to get him back after the big break up of your long term relationship. This is desperate behavior that will only hurt you more. The only way you can win him back is by showing him that you have moved on. The breakup should be a wake up call to help you change your life for better. Always keep this in mind: you are better off without your ex.

IX. You should not do anything in excess

Running home to eat a whole bucket of chocolate is not a solution to the feelings you get after a long term relationship ends. Do not do anything you might regret later in a bid to numb the pain. Avoid shopping unnecessarily, starving yourself, drinking too much, or overeating as a way of getting over the long term relationship. You cannot let your social life, school grades, or job suffer because of a guy who broke your heart. You need to get over him. He could be somewhere enjoying himself while you wallow in self-pity. Do not be reckless but rather try to catch up on what you missed while you were going out with him. It is exciting to talk and mingle with whoever you come across but you cannot go hooking up with just any guy. You must figure out your life and teach yourself how to live without a boyfriend. You don’t need anyone to be happy because true happiness comes from within you. Giving in to rash behavior will make you regret things later. Just be happy because of who you are and the right man will come along even as you try to get over the long term relationship.

Con el hombre de la casa 😍 #goodbyemylove 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻

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X. Do not be jealous of your ex’s happiness

Hello ❤️ I thought I’d introduce myself, for those new here! ~ I’m Rebecca (Bec) – Founder of HeartCoach. I am a certified Coach, Relationship Mentor & Writer. ~ ~ Being multi-entrepreneurial, I also have a love for beautiful design, and a career of 20+ years as a Creative Designer. ~ I am passionate about empowering amazing women (and men) like you, to develop a greater awareness of yourself and your relationships with others, to create the love and life, you deserve and desire. ~ Through my own experiences of love, loss, relationships, breakups, divorce, dating adventures & single life… I know relationships! ~ ~ I love sharing this wisdom and awareness regarding human relationships and connection with others, through social media, my writing & coaching. ~ I have created several great programs on offer, that are designed to reconnect you with you, so that you can attract what you want! ~ ~ I wasn’t always, but now am, an eternal student. In the last few years I’ve invested in studies in life coaching, meditation, spiritual teacher training, hypnosis and more… and attended many workshops, events and trainings. ~ My life isn't always happiness & light. I have dark days, pain and issues too. I’ve had times of depression and anxiety and I am always working on my perfectionistic tendencies. Some days I become very overwhelmed with running two businesses at once! ~ I am a seeker, spirit junkie, sunset lover & travel bug. I believe in the magic and power of the universal energy around us. ~ ~ Mum to an almost 15 yr old son and currently experiencing all the joy and complexities of teenage life 🙈 ~ I love, love, love NYC and hope to live there one day. ~ I am currently single and seeking that someone special 😘 ~ ~ I have a weakness for sweet things…. cakes, cookies, candy…. hmmmm 🍭 ~ Now let me hear from you!

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It may not be your intention to get jealous but the feeling is inevitable when trying to get over a broken long term relationship. You might wonder why his life is getting better while yours seem to stand still. You obviously need happiness and love in your life and if you stay positive, everything will fall into place. As mentioned earlier, stay away from your ex-boyfriend’s life, mind your own business, and you will be able to recover smoothly. Stay away from things that remind you of him and stop stalking him on social media.

Recovering from a long-term relationship is devastating and you might make some poor decisions immediately after a break-up like hooking up carelessly, drinking too much alcohol, blaming yourself, or contemplating revenge. Depending on how you handle a break-up you can turn this new chapter of your life into a good or bad one. There are some breakup mistakes you must not commit and there are positive strategies you must embrace.

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