Gentleman's Guide: How To Play Hard To Get With A Girl

One of the ways that you can attract the attention of a girl is when you play hard to is your guide on how to play hard to get.

By Gerald Matiri
Gentleman's Guide: How To Play Hard To Get With A Girl

How effective is playing hard to get?

When trying to date a girl, does it help when you play hard to get? Scientists have tried to shed some light on this topic and whether it can be beneficial to men. In one of the studies that was published in Psychological Science, it was noted that women tend to be attracted to guys whom they were uncertain about as compared to those they were sure loved them. One thing that psychology agrees about love is the reciprocity principle. This indicates that we fall in love with the people who like us. So what happens if we are unsure whether someone loves us or not? What is the effect of uncertainty on our love feelings? Why should a girl be interested in a dude that she is not sure loves her? Some studies have shown that the uncertainty about any positive event tends to produce more good feelings as compared to when the event was positive. This means that if someone is unsure about something, they tend to think about it more and we are more interested by uncertainty. The reason for this is that we keep thinking about the possible outcome and how we are unable to adapt to the event. When we are sure about the certainty of an event, we get excited about it but only for a short period of time before we get used to it.

When and how to play hard to get

Since every girl is different, you will need to understand that they will all react different when you play hard to get. If you are trying to be her boyfriend, there are several signs that you need to be on the lookout for to be sure whether to play hard to get with a girl. Some of the top signs that you need to be on the lookout for include:

1. She gets nervous when around you

When you find that a girl is becoming unsecure and nervous when she is around her boyfriend, this is an indication that she loves him. She is actually considering you to be in her league. When a girl isn’t sure that she is in your league, don’t play hard to get in the relationship. In case she suspects that you are interested in her, she may opt to play to your game. When she speaks to you and you fail to answer her, the girl will assume that you aren’t interested in her and she will not put any effort in wining you. The reason why a girl isn’t sending you that text is because she doesn’t have the confidence to make that move. You should not assume that she is only playing games with you.

2. Acting like the girl isn’t bothered by you

When you find that a girl is only giving your attention when she feels like doing it, there are chances that she is only playing hard to get with you. Girls will only deal with things in two ways; If she is interested,. She will engage you. If she isn’t, she will not even answer your call. When you encounter such kind of girl who is half interested in a relationship with you, there are chances that not only is she secure but she is searching for someone who is ready to challenge her. When you find that a girl is only answering you at her convenient, you should prepare yourself for the challenge. This is the right time to play hard with her. Avoid being too eager with her. Don’t text her too much or even come out strongly. When you do that, she will feel as if she has control over you and will not see the need to get into a longterm relationship with you. When dealing with such a girl, wait for her to make the first move and avoid answering right away. Instead, you should wait for her to get in touch with you. Do not go the extra mile until you are very sure that she is ready to do the same for you. The goal of causing a girl to get into a relationship with you is equality. This is especially the case when you are dealing with a girl who understands what she wants is confident and care less.

3. You frustrate her as you play hard to get

In case you already feel the anger in her, it is an indication that there is something that you are not doing right. Even as you play hard to get, you will need to avoid frustrating here. Some behaviors that guys show only serve to bring out the crazy girl in her. When a girl feels like you are playing around with her, she will tend to become angry and aggressive. This is not the right time to play hard to get as this will only serve to start off the relationship on the wrong footing. When she sends some sarcastic texts, angry texts or others that are only mean, it is an indication that you have gone overboard. If you really like her, there is no need to play hard to get. The goal is to ensure that she finds you attractive rather than repulsive. When you leave her angry and frustrated, this will eventually cause her to dump you.

4. You hurt her as you play hard to get

There are dudes who think that when playing hard to get, you should ask her for a date and then fail to appear on the last minute. This isn’t playing hard to get and can only be termed as downright insensitive and rude. In case you want to play hard to get, you should only make her to wait for a little while before you can respond to her text messages. You can also wait a bit longer before you ask to be her boyfriend. You don’t want a situation where you make her feel insignificant or insecure. You came out of grade school a long time ago. If hurting a girl back then failed to work, is this still going to work now? This will only serve to make her feel that you aren’t the right person for her.

#lovehurts #roadtrip #tyskland #veninder

A post shared by Frk. D. 🌸 (@dianarenardilkjaer) on

5. She finds some stupid reasons not to be with you

In case you asked the girl to meet you, does she find some stupid excuses? If your answer is yes, then you will need to back away and stop. You need to realize that playing hard to get isn’t the same thing as letting her go. When all signs indicate that she is not interested in you, keeping on trying to push her will not make her interested. It will only serve to make her start to avoid you. The moment you stop calling her is when you will realize whether she is still interested. If she is still interested, she will make the move to reach out to you. Avoid waiting for a whole week before deciding to try later.

6. What if she shows interest and then pulls away?

When you find that a girl was interested in you but then she suddenly decides to pull away, it is because there is something that she doesn’t feel right. It may also be that she is no longer attracted to you. When you notice such a situation, you will want to stop pushing her any longer. However, if you believe that she is only trying to make things cool off, then there is no problem with playing hard to get in such a situation. When you find that the girl is sitting on the fence, it is because she is still considering whether you are worth to be her boyfriend. A common mistake that men make is to think that girls love playing games. When she realizes that you are playing games on her, she will start hating you. If you are a guy who is aiming to date a certain girl, playing hard to get at the beginning and oozing that air of uncertainty about your love for her will leave her thinking more about you and increasing her interest in you. When you are able to play hard to get in the right manner, this adds some excitement to a relationship with her. The only problem is that this will at times backfire. At times, you may overdo it and cause the person you were aiming to attract to move on. In order to do it right when trying to play hard to get, here are a few guidelines that you need to consider.

7. Consider if the girl’s needed attention rather than what she wants

Everything in life has its limit. This is no different in relationship. Just like you will find that the girl has the limit concerning how much she is able to handle, she will also have a minimum on the least she is ready to accept. It will be up to you to decide how much she is ready to accept and where you will have crossed the line. When it gets to a point where you crush will no longer feel as if she need to work to get you, this will have crossed the line. This doesn’t mean that the girl should be constantly fighting for your attention, but she needs to be giving you a bit of it. You will also need to be careful to avoid giving her too little attention

8. Let the girl work for your attention

It is up to the person you are trying to date to make the effort. This doesn’t mean that she should always be there begging for your love. If she will be putting a lot of effort in the love, she will easily get exhausted when she notices that you are not reciprocating. But you want a situation where she will put a bit of effort in trying to get you. It is worth noting that this is a game that will require two people. You will need her to get involved. Avoid taking it to the extremes. All that is necessary is a little tension that will keep the relationship exciting. Remember that wanting her to work is equal to making her fight for you.

9. Don’t fall for her sex demand but play hard

Sex is great, but it becomes better when we allow the anticipation to grow. Again, this is an area where you will not want to wait for too long as the anticipation can end up destroying everything. Do not fall for her sex traps. Let her know that you are not ready for sex until the right time. If you are already having sex, this shouldn’t be routine. Instead, make it spontaneous.

10. Be open but hide some details

You don’t have to go exposing every detail in your life. You should show the girl one card at a time. If you are searching for a marriage partner approach her with the idea that she is qualified to become your spouse. If you don’t think she is qualified, then there is no reason why you should be giving her attention. Since you got a lifetime, there is no need to rush. Ensure that you take time to know one another. Avoid rushing the process as it will be fun if you don’t do that.

11. Show affection but play hard for the girl to get you

The reason why most people in a relationship end up disappointed is that majority of them are searching for the impossibility. Yes, your goal is for the two of you to become one. But this may be difficult to happen as the two of you will be two different people. The key reason why you want to spend time apart is because it will remind you of how the other person is important. It makes it possible for you to miss that person. If a person is always there, it can be hard to miss them. You will want the girl to also miss you. In order to play hard to get, make sure you are spending enough apart. This will make the relationship intense, magical and exciting. When you go on a date with her, tell her that you enjoyed the date. You should however, not answer her calls.

12. Don’t show that you are playing hard to get

Even as you play hard to get with the girl, you will need to look sincere and real. You shouldn’t tell her that you arrived late on purpose. You should also not tell her that the reason why you didn’t respond to her text is because you wanted her to miss you. The moment she will realize that you were doing it for a purpose, it will look impolite and lame. Instead, you want to make it look authentic. You are a guy that has a lot of options and he is the one who needs to impress you and not the other way round.

13. Don’t respond to her calls and text immediately

In order to play hard to get with a girl, you don’t want her to think that you are always next to the phone waiting for her call. When she calls, don’t pick up the phone the first time , or the second or the third time. This will make her realize that there is something important that you are doing. But you need to avoid looking as if you are so booked to a point where you no longer care about her.

14. Don’t open up about your plan

In case there is a place you are planning to go, don’t tell her every detail. You should however, avoid telling her that you have another date. In case you are visiting your aunt this coming Saturday, all you should tell her is that you have plans for the day. This way you will not only be telling the truth but you will leave her wondering where you are going. The more mysterious the girl will find you when you are trying to play hard to get, the more the girl will desire you to be her girlfriend. You don’t have to tell her that you are busy because you will be babysitting your kid brother.

15. Understand that the chase will never end

Once you have become her boyfriend after you have played hard to get, remember that this is not the end. It is important to ensure that you keep the relationship interesting. This is not to mean that you will need to be secretive about how you feel or you will need to pretend to be very busy when you aren’t, it is important for the two of you to feel that you are working for the affection of one another. Ensure that the relationship remains exciting, interesting and fresh long after you have become her boyfriend. This is not to mean that it should be her duty to chase after you as you continue being mysterious. If this happen, she will get to a point where she will grow tired of chasing after you and she will move on to another dude who respect and value her. Therefore, be wise even as you play hard to get and she will be your in no time.