The thought of leaving your marriage can be quite disturbing and scary. Most times, the fear of being alone lingers, not to mention the unknown future outcomes. Staying in a seriously boring marriage can be unhealthy, as it can result in a long term effect on both mental and emotional health. Particularly for women, it can result in long-lasting depression. Studies have revealed that people in unhappy marriages usually end up having low self-esteem and struggle with anxiety and a higher rate of getting ill.
Signs of a Boring Marriage Life
It is saddening to love your partner and you’re not getting back the love in return. While you both keep enjoying less of each's company and quarreling more, with the only conversation centers on kids, work, bills rather than dates or a heartful conversation. There you know something is turned off in your marriage and you can’t point it out. You just believe that something needs to change for good.
Below are signs of living in a boring marriage life:
1. Everything Your Wife/Husband Does Annoys You
Even the messages you receive from your spouse annoy you.
Living with another human being can be quite challenging, most especially as we all have our quirks. Perhaps, you are used to your spouse laughter and gist, but all of a sudden it became irritatingly boring and too loud.
When you both said the “I do's” word on the altar, you both were making each other top priority, you were both accepting each other attitude and behavior and once this essential decision is misplaced, you are on the verge of losing the person that once meant the world to you.
2. When You Both Aren’t Having Sex Anymore
Once there is a lack of physical affection such as hugging and kissing, it is an indication of being in an unhealthy marriage. Equally, another warning sign would be that your marriage is totally sexless. Falling into boring routines and not having much sex can however become worse.
3. You Broke Each Other’s Trust
Precisely, trust is regarded as the most important force needed for a last-lengthy relationship and it can be very hard to restore once it’s broken. It can be disheartening that having been both a friend and a lover to your spouse, telling and discussing everything together, you caught him/her cheating or doing otherwise as compared to what he or she told you. This can result in developing a boring marriage.
4. Feeling Unappreciated
Yes! You are working really hard to run your household and in raising your children and you receive the no thanks attitude, or you are working your time off in your career just to prove that you are the man of the house, and you also receive the no thanks attitude.
What happens? You complain and yell instead of being the change you want to see in the marriage. This is definitely an indication that your marriage would eventually become boring and scary over time.
5. You Forget Special Days
You didn’t forget your children’s assignment, neither did you forget the important meeting you have to attend to on Monday, but you did forget your spouse special days like birthday and anniversaries. Once you and your spouse forget such memorable days, it simply means that you both no longer care about the sparks that make your marriage healthy and happy.
6. You Imagine A Life Without Your Lover
If you most times fantasize a happy marriage without your wife/husband, that’s a major sign revealing that things aren’t right. This type of scenario is considered an emotional detachment process, which is quite bad for any marriage. Literally, dreaming about having an affair with another man or woman or making plans for the future with your spouse, not included, is a big sign that you are already falling out of love, this can over time lead to having a divorce or two living in a boring marriage.
Solutions to Avoid a Boring Marriage (especially after baby!)
Loneliness in marriage is recognized as a strange bedmate. It practically happens when you and your spouse are in one location and still cannot connect to each other. Both of you feel very awkward around each other and there is neither a physical nor mental intimacy between you two.
Here are major ways to avoid a boring marriage:
1. Make Vacations and Date Night a Priority
To avoid a boring marriage life, even after giving birth, going for date nights as well as vacations is an important practice that shouldn’t be turned off for any reason. The bitter truth is, when you both were dating, it practically got you into falling in love in the first place. So it sure makes sense to continue dating even in marriage in order not to stay out of love.
You can schedule for you and your spouse a monthly date and a quarterly vacation.
2. Shower Your Spouse With Love, Not Only Your Kids
One of the ever best things you can do for your children is to always place your spouse first before them. While it won’t only help them manage their marriage once they are grown, it will help you avoid having a boring marriage. It is usually said that strong marriage results into strong families. Also, showering your spouse in front of your children can equally provide them a sense of security, as well as show them what real love should be like.
3. Dress Like The Woman He Met, And Not Like A Granny
Yeah, he married you – never stop being that woman he met before marriage. Don’t stop dressing up like the young lady he met a few years ago. Don’t lose being that playful girl he met earlier – because that's where all the love and romance started from.
4. Flirt Around Your Spouse, Non-Stop
To keep your marriage save; don’t stop flirting around your man or woman. It is very important for you both to adapt and practice the art of flirting around each other. You can continually leave your spouse some romantic messages while he/she is at work, you can equally send in small gifts or love notes as a reminder of your love for her/him. Develop inside yourselves jokes that will create laughter and memorable together. Get those nice shorts and nightgowns to wear around the house. Importantly, make sure your hair is not usually unkempt. This will make your husband feel young and fresh in the marriage.
5. Be Her Lover, Not Her Father
Even though you are a father, you are however not your wife's father. Never give in to nagging like a father or fathering your spouse. Always give her the respect and love you promised when you both said the “I do's” word. Never talk down your woman, nor speak badly about her to peers and family. If you treat her like the queen she is supposed to be, she will, in turn, treat you like a king.
6. Remind Each Other Why You Fell In Love
Why not avoid the act of divorce with your spouse by equally sparkling the marriage with the practice you both engaged with while courting. A happy marriage is a healthy marriage. Remind each other why you both fell in love and make out time for those things that nurture your connection. Make seeing a movie a habit and visiting a new restaurant for dates a practice. Always plan to embark on things that will bring you and your spouse together and you definitely will feel closer than before.
Boring Marriage Quotes you Should Avoid Falling Into
“Everything I used to love about you is what I hate the most about you now!”
“Sleep just isn’t sleep anymore, it's an escape”
“I’m the type of person that will try to make everyone else smile, but when I need a smile, no one is there for me”
“I am sitting by the phone and waiting for your call, but I know you won't call at all”
“You stole my heart but I am the one who is being punished”
“One day, you will miss me, like I miss you today.”
“I want to cry but can’t. Seems the tears just won't come. Even the tears have realized you’re not worth it”
However, it is very important that you don’t allow your marriage to deteriorate. You and your spouse can take action today by developing means and surprising changes to keeping your marriage alive. Once you both decide to make your marriage work, there are high chances of you both becoming happier and healthier, a better version of yourselves. You can both decide on seeking assistance from a trusted counselor or mental health professional, just to avoid experiencing a boring marriage.