What Do I Do When My Husband Is Always Angry And Negative

Here's how to deal with an angry man while protecting yourself.

By Sophia R
What Do I Do When My Husband Is Always Angry And Negative

If your husband is one of those who prefer to go out, avoid being in the same room, not calling all day, or does not talk to you in those moments of annoyance and you ask yourself, why does my husband get angry about everything? then this article is for you.

One of the biggest questions that many women have with their hands on their heads is the distance that their partner adopts when he is angry. It is perfectly normal that when your partner adopts that distant position you feel like a sea of ​​emotions runs through your veins: Sadness, anger, and insecurity are the main feelings that usually appear, sometimes at the same time.

The real problem, which not many realize, is that these feelings, however natural they may be, is like a snowball that gets bigger as time goes on. Because of this, women tend to get absorbed in how sad, angry, or insecure we feel and we forget that the husband is another human being, with feelings and emotions of anger and sadness just like us.

It is no secret that men do not express their emotions in the same way, while for women it is much easier to cry, even when they are not distressed but frustrated, for men the most natural feeling is anger.

Decay manifests itself with the same characteristics as annoyance and causes confusion, which is why understanding and empathy are important in these cases. Remember that like you, he feels sad and frustrated, even if he does not show it as you would, they are different people and genders, putting yourself in the other's shoes is crucial.

What Are The Possible Reasons Why My Husband Is Always Angry And Negative?

Another common mistake is when a woman automatically assumes that if her husband does not speak to her for a certain amount of time it means that his feelings for her are not the same when they do not necessarily have to be.

There are times when even one of the reasons why a man prefers not to speak and be angry alone is so as not to make things worse or hurt you with a rude word that they may later regret. Do you remember that phrase that says “if you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything”? Well, men usually do that, even if they are not always fully aware of it.

Assuming that their lack of communication equates to lack of love only leads to more desolation and sadness, feelings that affect our perception and hurt by creating prejudices.

On the other hand, it is also important to carry out a self-assessment. Your husband probably prefers not to talk to you because he feels that you don't take his feelings and opinions into account. Feeling little heard and understood, they see that their words are a waste of time and choose not to say anything at all.

Good communication as a couple is about not only talking but also listening if you want your husband to talk to you even in moments of anger, do not rush to respond and try to understand his opinions and arguments.

What Are The Effects Of My Husband’s Anger And Negativity To Me?

Did you know that what we experience in our affective relationships can affect our health? Women in a troubled marriage are more likely than their husbands to suffer from depression, hypertension, and obesity, all of which are risk factors for heart disease, stroke, and diabetes.

These are results presented by psychologists from the American University of Utah in a study that was presented in Chicago during the annual meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society. Men are also affected, but to a lesser degree, in these situations.

How Do I Care For My Well-Being While Living With a Husband Who’s Always Angry And Negative?

Likewise, women are well known for not speaking their minds directly. However, it is of real importance that in moments like this, and in the whole relationship in general, knowing how to be honest with what we think and feel, what we want and what we expect from the other is crucial for your own health.

Despite this, how and when these things are said should be handled wisely, when the time for discussion has passed, be direct and let him know that you understand how he feels and that you will try to give him his time before approaching him, but what do you expect that they can trust you to speak their thoughts.

In this way, a consensus can be reached in which each one expresses their opinions, and healthily seeks the solution to the problem. For this, it is crucial to learn when to admit guilt and how to show the other that they are wrong. Not because you can be right should you adopt an arrogant attitude or judgment.

Having an angry husband doesn't mean you have to be angry too. If your husband is expected to get angry frequently, that doesn't mean you have the right to provoke him, but it doesn't mean that you have to tiptoe around him. The consequences of angry behaviors are the fault of the person who got angry, and you don't have to be making things right for them. That also does not mean that you have the right to punish your husband and not give him affection or attention until he "deserves it." You are not the judge imposing punishments on your angry husband, but you don't have to serve them either.

What Not To Do When Living With A Husband Who’s Always Angry And Negative?

As bad as it may seem, sometimes the reason there are no words from the husband is because of pride. When he feels that his ego is hurt, he seeks to restore it by punishing his partner, "giving himself to be desired", said in a colloquial way.

In situations like this, responding with a desperate attitude trying to seek your attention and affections only reinforces your pushy behavior and makes you more accessible to continue when you find yourself in trouble. Make him see that he is carried away by pride and that this negatively affects the relationship, this not only in words but also by example, since we are all prone to letting ourselves be carried away by our hurt ego.

In addition to this, show him that he should not feel belittled since the intention is not to seek guilty but solutions. Being upset is understandable, but the lack of communication is not excusable. A couple who do not communicate healthily already has half the job done poorly.

Finally, it remains to say that there are no absolute answers, that everyone thinks and behaves differently. So to know the real reason the best option is to always ask, instead of assuming the answers rashly, which only creates prejudices and complexes.

Before believing that your partner thinks this or that, go over and ask him directly what is happening to him and how you can help. Listen carefully and learn to recognize when he may be right, this way he will feel more confident the next time he tells you what is going through his mind even in moments of anger or irritation.

No couple is perfect, there are always going to be problems. The important thing is to put the love you feel for the other person above these, learn from the bad and continue to practice the good.

How Can My Husband Be Helped For His Behavior?

Outbursts of anger are often the result of a perception of injustice, feelings of disrespect, or seemingly overwhelming demands. Being reasonable, respectful, and helpful are quick ways to bond as a couple and reduce irritation.

Sometimes angry responses are caused by feeling hurt or threatened. Saying kind things instead of criticizing, being honest instead of teasing, and listening carefully will help your partner feel emotionally secure.

Anger often escalates when someone doesn't feel heard, appreciated, or paid no attention to. By listening thoughtfully, communicating directly, and reaffirming what your partner is saying will help you feel better.

We all know our partner's weak points, and we can easily make a hurtful comment. Especially when our spouse is angry, we may want to defend ourselves or think that our verbal attacks are justified. This will only increase anger, and in that case, it is better to keep quiet.

Just as other habits are formed, we can develop habits in the way we communicate and respond emotionally. Making changes in the timing or tone of our responses, the kinds of things we say, and the style of our communication can help break bad habits and build new ones that improve the emotional health of our relationships.

Your spouse is your peer, your friend, and your teammate. Don't act like their mom, don't talk to them like a child, or scold them. Share responsibilities, say nice things, and enjoy positive activities together. Have fun. Laugh. Talk. Smile.

Who Can I Call For Help In Case The Anger And Negativity Turns Into Abuse?

Women take an average of 7 years to report an abusive relationship according to the statistics provided by Surname.

Much of the problem is that many of these cases go unreported and are only known through a fateful ending. The lack of reporting responds, on many occasions, to factors such as the lack of knowledge that victims of abuse have about the instances to which they can go for help.

This is an issue that has returned strongly to public debate due to particular cases that have made the news and have warned about the urgency of prevention and measures so that the aggressors pay for their crimes and the victims receive the support they need.

One way to help is by reporting the cases we know about and guiding that friend or acquaintance who needs help to get ahead. Remember that mistreatment of women can be psychological, physical, or sexual and that all must be reported and punished.

Where to report? Look for your local Prosecutor's Office, which Receives complaints, investigates and accuses, takes evidence, goes to the scene, adopts security measures for victims and witnesses, requests the arrest of the corresponding judge.

Your Local Police Station may also Receive complaints, order protection measures, request examinations from Legal Medicine, provides support to the victim and her family, temporarily decides on custody, food, and visitation of children.


Having an angry and negative husband can be extremely exhausting and painful for any woman. After reading this article, we hope you now know how to deal with this situation if its your case, or how to help someone you know that is going through this. 

Always remember to be strong, know your place, and identify when the situation is going out of control.

Related Article: 7 Reasons Why Angry Sex is Better Than Yelling
7 Reasons Why Angry Sex is Better Than Yelling

Angry with your partner? Try angry sex instead for a change!


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