What is Angry Sex?
When you feel a burning rage towards your partner and want to lash out verbally you can choose to lash out sexually. You might be wondering what sex has to do with you being angry at your partner but you’ll be surprised at how similar anger and arousal are. They are both states of heightened adrenaline, fiery, fierce and filled with tension, this is what makes angry sex so popular.
Angry sex as we have all seen in the movies is a clothes-ripping, throw-down and very primal act with no rules. It is purely instinctive, with no room for romance, sweet words and the mundane things lovemaking often entails. The sole purpose of angry sex is to release tension and satisfy an instant need. Those who have experienced it say it’s the best kind of sex and that though making love is nice and all, a round of angry sex can beats a romantic night of passion, hands down.
But even though it feels great to release all that pent-up energy in such a satisfying way, angry sex shouldn’t be your primary mode of expressing your frustration. You should do it at the right time and for the right reasons because at the end of the day yelling and lashing out verbally still has its place. Anger isn’t always a bad thing, it stops you from building resentment and dissipates the negative energy around the situation you’re faced with. What’s important is knowing how to channel your anger and sometimes letting out your anger in bed is the best way. Check out some of the reasons why:
7 Reasons Why Angry Sex is Better Than Yelling
1. It’s an Outlet
Angry sex is a good way to take it out on each other, instead of yelling at your partner, you could use your bodies as a tool to express your anger in a hardcore sexual experience. An intense session in the sheets between you and Bae might be just the kind of explosion you both need to get past your fight. Angry sex allows you to channel the high levels of adrenaline rush you’re feeling in another direction and the best part is that the anger is geared towards the same person. It’s also an opportunity to punish your partner by working him hard until he’s so sore he can barely move after you’re done. What better outlet is there than getting down and dirty in a burning rage? Certainly not the exchange of nasty words you can never take back.
2. It Releases Oxytocin
Oxytocin also is known as the “love hormone’’ is released in the brain during sex, making you feel happy, relaxed and in love after getting it on. This means you leave from a place of frustration, anger, and sadness to complete happiness when you trade fighting for the sheets. Alongside Oxytocin, Dopamine and Serotonin which are hormones that send reward signals to the brain and regulate your mood are also released. This combination is the happiest cocktail of all time and it is bound to improve communication with your partner, by the time you’re done, you will have only sweet words to say to each other, yelling would have become a distant memory.
3. Anger is an Aphrodisiac
Anger increases your blood flow, your heart rate and your blood pressure, it also increases testosterone levels, and testosterone is directly linked to sexual arousal.
So, in a sense, anger is a powerful aphrodisiac, this explains why people often jump from an intense argument to a serious bang in the same stride. According to a 2010 study, being angry at someone gives you an urge to get closer to them, so next time you’re in a fight with your partner and feel like strangling him, indulge in an anger bang instead and experience sex in a whole new way.
4. It’s liberating
With angry sex, there are no boundaries, hell, there’s no time to think! It all happens in the spur of a moment and that’s what makes it all the more fun. Angry sex is fueled by a mix of emotions you can’t even decipher at that particular moment. It’s liberating because it is not about romance or foreplay, it’s about acting on your primal urges and proceeding by instinct. There’s no better time to step out of your comfort zone and live out your wildest fantasies, things you’d normally never have the balls to do. This kind of sex is not about being sexy but about being raw, if you’re the kind of person who is shy and often holds back during sex, this could be the most liberating experience of your life.
5. It Relieves Tension
What better time is there for a calm discussion than when you’re cuddling after a passionate twist and tumble? During a serious fight, no one is even listening to what the other is saying, it’s all about yelling louder than your partner or having the last word. But if you want your significant other to actually listen to what you have to say, diffuse the present tense with a nice round wrestling in the sheets. Post-sex discussions are always void of any tension, you and he could even see eye-to-eye and forget what you were arguing about once all the tension has been removed from the equation. This can be an amazing way to work on communications issues in your relationship.
6. Words Are Not Needed
Instead of bringing people closer, words are sometimes what drives them apart, but the good thing about angry sex is, it does not require words and if you must talk it has to be dirty talk. Unlike yelling which requires a lot of words that no one actually listens to. And after a mutually satisfying orgasm, there’s no need to say sorry, all parties involved are left in a happy place.
7. It helps you Re-connect
An intense fight will drive a wedge even in the healthiest of relationships, after all the yelling you’ll normally give each other some space but with angry sex, none of that is happening. With angry sex, you’re both all over each other and the concept of personal space is non-existent, it re-connects you and your partner in a whole new primal way. You are mad at each other but you can keep away from each other or have enough of each other. It’s all a cocktail of intense emotions and sensations and at the end of it all, it draws you both closer which is definitely better than yelling.
Is it healthy to always lapse into angry sex?
As we have already established, sex is a good outlet for your anger when things are heating up with Bae, not just because it is fun, sexy, liberating and intense but also because it draws you closer to each other and leaves you both with a good old cocktail of happy hormones. However, even if it spices up your sex life, it shouldn’t be your go-to solution for conflict resolution. Using sex as a cover-up or a coping mechanism instead of dealing with what’s wrong in your relationship is very unhealthy.
Conflict and disagreement are a healthy part of every relationship, and so avoiding confrontation can become a time bomb. If your relationship has issues that need to be addressed using sex instead will not help, it may provide temporal relief but it will never be as beneficial as an honest conversation. Healthy communication can not be replaced with sex, no matter how wild.
Sex normally acts like a drug and an intense romp like angry, makeup or break up sex can easily blur the lines between what’s acceptable and what’s not, it’s like an illusion that gives temporal relief but never provides an actual solution. Angry sex has been known to serve as a tool in situations of abuse and domestic violence, so angry sex is not something you want to resort to all the time. And it is not recommended for relationships with communication problems.
To sum up, angry sex can be a great way to let out your frustrations and spice up your sex life but it shouldn’t replace traditional communication. And it’s not okay to pick fights with your partner just so you can have angry sex. Disagreements and misunderstandings should be handled positively because they are part of every healthy relationship.
Angry sex should not be forced or staged, let it happen organically that way you experience it in all its glory. Though great sex is not limited to fights or angry moments, we have all heard of breakup and makeup sex and how exciting they can be, maybe next time you have a scuffle with Bae you just might end up getting an orgasm out of it.