Can't Orgasm Despite All Effort? You Might Have Anorgasmia

Ready or not, here I come – Yes, orgasm can come whether you are ready or not. When talking about orgasm, it all depends on the quality of the relationship, kind of intimacy you have with your partner, and how you feel about it and last but not the least the pleasure you are experiencing in your sexual rituals.
Orgasm is the ultimate pleasure that one can get in a sexual relationship. It is when your body is having extreme joy and still aches for more. Every cell in your body, every muscle involved in the activity contracts in a rhythm and you feel like exploding with ecstasy.

It is a common observation that women find it more difficult to have on orgasm than men. There can be several reasons behind it ranging from medical to psychological factors. While some women may consider the inability to have an orgasm as incompetency at their end some think that their partners fail to satisfy them. Only a few women may know that despite all their efforts if they cannot have an orgasm, it is a medical condition and needs appropriate attention. 

The inability to have an orgasm despite all the effort is a medical condition called “Anorgasmia”. If you are having difficulty in reaching an orgasm for the past couple of times it does not mean that you have anorgasmia. The condition refers to a more often, rather regular difficulty to have an orgasm over a certain period of time. This kind of sexual dysfunction is more common in women than in men. Since this condition can be due to psychological issues as well, it can also be classified as a psychiatric disorder. 

Medical conditions that can cause anorgasmia in women include hormonal imbalances, cardiovascular diseases, diabetic neuropathy, MS (multiple sclerosis), and genital mutilations. Women can also experience anorgasmia after childbirth trauma, pelvic, and spinal cord injuries and injuries caused by falls.  
Sometimes women face situational anorgasmia when they are on drugs or anti-depressants. The use of drugs such as heroin can cause anorgasmia in women. 

Anorgasmia is divided into two broad categories: primary and secondary anorgasmia. If a person has never experienced an orgasm in their life, they have primary anorgasmia. Whereas if a person was having an orgasm but lost the ability after a trauma or medical condition, they have secondary anorgasmia.
Women can also lose the ability to reach a climax during sex because of certain psychological reasons. Depression, grief, and rape can also trigger anorgasmia in women.     

Women may find it difficult to have an orgasm after a hectic day, during menstruation, or even if they are feeling depressed or unhappy. Not every inability to reach climax can be termed as anorgasmia. If this kind of sexual dysfunction is occasional and you are able to enjoy sex and have an orgasm most of the time, you don’t need to worry; all you need is a good night’s sleep, a session at the spa or a relaxed evening with your partner. 

In case of persistent and regular lack of orgasm, you might need to consult a health care professional as there could be an underlying problem. If you are psychologically and mentally sound and still having trouble reaching an orgasm you could have anorgasmia. The first thing you need to do is get yourself checked by a general physician. The GP will require running some blood tests to rule out various medical conditions. You will also be tested for thyroid function and hormone imbalance. Depending on the test results, you will be referred to the specialist for further probing, diagnosis, and treatment options. Depending on symptoms and their onset this condition is termed as Female Orgasmic Disorder. 

In order to check if you have anorgasmia, you need to ask yourself a few questions
•    Are there any situations where you can have an orgasm?
•    Can you have an orgasm through masturbation?
•    Can you have an orgasm during sexual intercourse?
•    Have you ever achieved orgasm in any way in the past?

If the answers to these questions are mostly yes then you are surely not anorgasmic. Almost 70% of the people can have trouble reaching a climax at one time or the other in their lives and that does not categorize them as having anorgasmia. 

Most women will not consider their inability to have an orgasm a medical condition. Many women may think that it is a normal process and some may think that it is because of their tiring routine. Since women don’t consider it a serious issue, they never get themselves checked by a doctor. 

By now we know that anorgasmia can have a medical and psychological basis, we should consider consulting both medical and mental health practitioners. Depending upon the cause of the onset of anorgasmia, the doctor will advise a treatment regimen. The route of treatment is different for anorgasmia due to physical and psychological causes. 

If the anorgasmia is because of physical causes, you might need surgical intervention, physiotherapies, and pharmacotherapy. Treating the root cause of anorgasmia may also help treat this sexual dysfunction. If a person is finding it difficult to have an orgasm and the reason behind this inability is a medical condition, getting that condition treated will help treat anorgasmia which came as a side effect of the disease. 
In the case of anorgasmia caused by hormonal imbalance, hormonal patches and tablets may help deal with the problem.  

Cutting down on alcohol and drugs can also help treat anorgasmia in women. Addiction to heroin has proven effects on the sexual functioning of women. Almost 15% of women who use drugs find it difficult to have an orgasm whereas 10% have never had an orgasm in their life. 

If you are unable to reach climax lately you might consider changing your lifestyle. A healthier lifestyle boosts physical and sexual health. Taking enough sleep, exercise, having healthy food, and living a stress-free life will have a positive impact on your sexual wellbeing. 

Anorgasmia can adversely affect your physical relationship. Living with a person who cannot enjoy sex and is unable to reach climax can be really frustrating and if you are the person who has anorgasmia it is even more painful for you to see that your partner is not sexually satisfied. 

If you have been diagnosed with this sexual dysfunction medically termed as “anorgasmia”, you need to make lifelong changes. In most sexual relationships, reaching climax and having ultimate pleasure is the main objective of sex. Where once, male orgasm was considered important, now everyone agrees that it is equally important for both sex partners to derive equal amounts of pleasure from physical intimacy.

Most women feel embarrassed and shy and won’t tell their partner about their inability to enjoy sex. They cannot establish a connection with their partner because of poor communication of sexual preferences and what they need out of their physical relationship. A few women having primary anorgasmia may never know that women too can have sexual pleasures because they have never experienced it. 

To avoid embarrassment, many women with anorgasmia fake orgasm. They think that the only thing that matters is the pleasure of their partner and if the partner is enjoying it, why to break their bubble. One thing these women need to understand is that it is as important for them to derive satisfaction as it is for their partners. Several medical and psychological interventions can help women deal with their anorgasmia. There are psychosexual massage therapists who can help women by stimulating nipples, breasts, vagina, and anus. 

When the treatments are available, there is no need to live in shame. Once you know how it feels like to have an orgasm, believe me, you will never look back. 

If you have tried all the treatments and nothing seemed to work for you, it means your anorgasmia is permanent but there is nothing to worry about in it. There are several other ways to please and satisfy yourself in your sexual life.               

Whether your anorgasmia is primary or secondary, generalized or situational, it all comes down to how you and your partner respond to it. One thing is for sure that sex is not all about the orgasm. There are plenty of ways to derive happiness and ecstasy from a sexual relationship. Anorgasmia or not, if you two are enjoying sex you should not worry yourself about anything else.