How To Handle "I Have Not Heard From Him" Situations

Top 5 FAQ on such situations for you to handle him with grace

By Kimmy
How To Handle "I Have Not Heard From Him" Situations

1. Should I Text Him Back or Give Him Space?

The million-dollar, century-old question. Finding the epitome of texting at the right time is next to impossible, if not unachievable at all. When to text and when to give space is tough to balance. Some days you want to be the cool girlfriend and not text him knowing he is out, some days it just annoys the donut out of you that he seems to be gone. You don't know if he is ghosting you, if he is in an accident, if he missed your message, or if he is busy.

We want answers, and we want our significant other to text back. What's so hard about texting back? Indeed, what's stopping them from texting back and if we should chase after them? A lot of it depends on the scenario but to give you some clues. These 5 FAQ will answer your questions that fit your situation!

Did he mention where he'd be off to? Is he on a road trip with his mates? Is he having a long day at work? Preparing for a presentation? Studies? How often does it happen?

All these questions lay out the facts for you as to why he isn't responding. Maybe something major is coming up for him and he has been busting his ass around. In that case, maybe you should cut him some slack. It sucks to not hear back for 12 hours from your boyfriend, but it's not his usual MO, so, just let this one slide.

Or if he is on a trip with friends, most likely he doesn't have a signal. In that case, since you know where he is going and that he might be partying with his mates, sending him a text and saying "hey I hope you're having a fun night, take care." is the sweetest way to do it. First, you see if his internet is out. Second, it also prompts him to reply to you and doesn't sound pushy at all. You're giving him space but also letting him know that you're there and would like a text to know that he isn't dead in a ditch.

However, if this is his usual MO, he often does that when he is stressed, you should text him to tell him to let you in. You are not someone that he can go to when he feels happy and just kicks away when he is stressed. We all deal with stress differently but most don't want a boyfriend that goes away when stressed. It would be a good thing to bring up and tell him he is doing it again and you're not happy with it.

It all comes down to the situation. In most cases, if you know what he is up to and knows it's a legit reason to be gone, even 12 hours won't be too much because you're in the loop. If you are clueless about his movements, do send him a text to express your concern for him.

2. When should it be considered as ghosting?

Any consecutive events that follow after you first raised the suspicion, it's ghosting. To break it down, let's say you feel lately he has been cold and less responsive. He may talk to his mates more. Not necessarily is that against you, maybe it was something that happened in their friendship circle that they have to fix. Or maybe it's work. 

Whenever initial signs show, you could write them off as legit excuses and reasons at first. As time passes, you will soon see there's more to it. It's been two weeks, doesn't matter what has been bothering him, he has got to feel that he needs to be closer to you or at least reply to you.

Not responding to you after the "supposed big event" shows that there may not have been anything big at all, he isn't interested, period. Two weeks is a good amount of time for someone to slowly regain their senses, despite having a tremendous event descending upon them. If he refuses to open up to you or be as cold, two weeks is a good indicator that he is cold because he doesn't want you there. All those excuses are really, just excuses.

3. How to get him to text me back immediately?

"Text me back"

Direct and simple. Straight up telling him to text you back has been proven to be the most effective, why? Because guys really suck at picking up hints. Drop hints when you're slightly annoyed and make it clear right away what you want when you can't stand it.

Most guys won't understand from "are you busy?" as "I want to talk to you now". They will happily think "oh she is caring. Let me reply to her when I'm free." No, you want a reply instantly, you tell him that.

If you are really, really shy to say that, try something along the line "hey, I miss you. Let's talk for a bit if you can!" The sweet and cute way to approach someone. Although it's not as direct, if he loves you, he will still reply instantly, even to let you know he can't talk or won't be free for another few hours, etc. You won't be completely ignored, give that he cares for your feelings.

4. Should I ignore him?

That's a tough one...Do you want to ignore him? Lots of time, it's easier said than done. You are so disappointed in him but you just want to teach him a lesson, you don't really want to ignore him. Behold though, this lesson comes with a cost for both you and him. If you can ignore someone to show him, next time, he can also do what he hates about you to show you. Not the healthiest thing to do, but if you want to let your steam off, this is a good way, better than being left on reading for sure.

In most cases, ignoring him would be the last resort. You've tried being patient, you've tried being pushy...none of those worked. Ignoring him would be the only option, as it seems like he is ignoring you anyways. To do that, you can't reply to him for a solid few hours up to a few days, if not forever. The clock starts once he replies to you. No matter what happens, you don't reply to him so he understands how it feels to be ignored.

When you do reply, play naturally as if nothing happened. Don't scream at him so he understands if someone ignores you for no good reason it hurts.

Usually ignoring someone isn't a good approach as it may not teach him the lesson you'd hope. It might just piss him or he would retaliate. However, if you do feel to ignore him because you're really upset, make sure you go through with it and don't jump back to him as soon as he replies. There's no good rule to when to ignore someone when you really can't stand it, you will know it's time.

5. How many times can I repeatly text him before it's considered irritating?

It depends. Cliché.

Usually, 3 is the magic number. You don't want to text someone for the 4th time before they reply, that's a bit clingy unless you have a solid reason. What would be an exception to the magic number 3?

Is he having an important job today or out with friends? You don't want to butt into someone's meeting by buzzing their phone the whole time. He might be expecting an important call and it's you wanting attention. And the last thing you want is for him to go on a trip with friends just for them to see you messaging him with 20 messages. It's kind of embarrassing. In those cases, even texting him twice after a while could be too much.

Let him have his peace and space. You know what he is up to so don't disturb him. No good would come from it. That being said, there are exceptions that allow you to go over the third time rule. A golden exception is when he is "missing".

Maybe he is not actually missing, but he is not where he is supposed to be and you can't reach him. Like it's Sunday and you haven't heard from him until 5 pm, which is out of character. That is alarming and maybe indeed he is just up to something silly or an emergency happened. Still, it grants you the right to be concerned and text him repeatedly to get his whereabouts. You don't know where he is, that constitutes a good reason as you're concerned for him.

Again, most of the time, it's a case-by-case situation. The magic number 3 is a good guideline to if you're overdoing it but by no means a golden rule to stick to all the time.

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Surely these 5 FAQ answered most of the questions you have been having in mind! Now either you feel relieved about not texting him or edging over what to text him, no matter what, you now know you're making the right decision!


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