NSA Relationship: What is all about and should you be in one?

Is a no string attached relationship so liberating and alluring?

By Kimmy
NSA Relationship: What is all about and should you be in one?

What is a NSA relationship?

NSA (No String Attached), an alluring term for those looking lust but not commitment to dive into. As its name suggests, you are as free as a single in an NSA relationship. Essentially you are having a fuck buddy with zero responsibility. NSA relationships are really common among young adults not ready to settle and career-driven business heads that have no time to commit to a relationship.

An NSA relationship is popular because you are establishing a stable sexual relationship with someone, yet you don't need to invest your time. Having a one night stand may be exciting but who has the energy to constantly search for a new person? Having a stable relationship in a sense without having to invest much in it contributes to the popularity of NSA relationships.

Common NSA relationship questions

1. How does that work?

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It's simple. You know you aren't in an actual relationship so you're free to meet up with others too, upon mutual agreement of course. You set up an arrangement with your FWB (friends with benefits) and you are free to walk away after and meet up for the sole purpose of having sex.

2. Are we friends?

Well, it depends. For most people, they are able to remain friends with each other as they share the same friendship circle. For others, they have no interaction outside of their physical lust union. It depends on how you want this relationship to be and if you want to include the other person in your life as a friend.

3. Do NSA relationships work?

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For the most part, people know why they're entering an NSA relationship. It's not for love, it's only for sex. Although feelings might develop, most people are able to walk away without hard feelings once they find their love interest or their FWB finds theirs.

4. How do you ask someone to be in a NSA relationship with you?

Just ask upfront. Know that this will be a person you meet up with for sex on a regular basis. If you're too shy to even ask that, maybe it's not a good idea to be in an NSA relationship.

5. How do I get out of a NSA relationship?

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For a lot of people, they share the same friendship circle as usually, that's how they get their FWB, to begin with. That's why ending the relationship may not be the easiest as there might be hard feelings and awkwardness. But as you both enter the relationship knowing it's NSA, layout your reason and tell the other person NSA is no longer what you want. Maybe you already started seeing someone, or maybe you just don't want this lifestyle anymore. Regardless, your partner should respect your choice and likewise, you should respect theirs if they wish to exit this relationship.

Who is a NSA relationship for?

1. You don't want to commit

You are enjoying your freedom and fun. Not willing to commit is not a crime. You know what you want and an NSA relationship is perfect for you. That way, you don't have to commit and still have a rewarding sex life frequently.

2. You are too busy to be in a relationship

Most people don't realize that a lot of "couples" in NSA relationships are professionals. They are too busy to maintain an actual relationship or look for hookups every night. Still, they are humans and have needs. NSA relationships are very common among professionals such as lawyers, hospital workers, accountants...where people have to spend an overwhelming amount of time for their work and barely have any time to themselves.

Being in an NSA relationship allows them to let out their lust and sexual needs in a healthy way without losing balance to their job. Naturally, it's a top choice for them.

3. You know you are strong enough to not catch feelings

An awkward thing that tends to happen is that one side begins to catch feelings and hope the other person feels the same. Unfortunately most of the time the other person won't ever fall for you. They have a clearer intention and know they aren't after a relationship. You have to be strong enough and know your goal is only to have sex but nothing more.

On the other hand, if your partner tells you they begin to catch feelings for you, you have to know how to say to drive them away. Whether it's to end this relationship or to tell them explicitly that this will never happen is your choice, but you should entre an NSA knowing that this could happen and you better know what you will do to minimize the damage, especially if you share the same friendship circle.

4. You are able to express your thoughts clearly

Sometimes you struggle to decide whether or not you want your FWB to be involved in other parts of your life like hanging out with your friends etc. You two might not share the same opinion on it and it's important that you are able to express your stance and state your thoughts. Don't be a pushover and let your partner decide how this goes.

NSA relationships aren't for the indecisive people. You need to know what you want clearly and not afraid to speak your mind to draw clear boundaries.

Who is a NSA relationship not for?

1. You fall in love easily

Many think they can handle a relationship with no commitment but as time goes by, they realize it's not in their blood to do such a thing. They fall in love easily and as soon as they see a sign of care and love, they believe the other person is in love too or want to change the other person and the dynamics of the NSA relationship.

You should never enter a relationship thinking you can change someone. It's not healthy and 99% of the time you will fail. If you are the type to fall in love easily, don't entre an NSA relationship to save yourself from heartbreaks.

2. You want to get committed/ are unsure of it

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NSA relationships are never for the ones that want to be committed or see yourself committing to others when you started. If you see yourself dating someone but are only entering an NSA relationship, just don't do it and wait for the one to show up. The reason is you have expectations of committing to someone. You are only doing this because the said one hasn't come along.

It doesn't matter if you don't see your fuck buddy as the one you want to commit to. As long as you entre an NSA relationship picturing yourself to find a stable partner in the foreseeable future, it's going to ruin the relationship. NSA relationships should be based on minimal expectations.

3. You can't keep it separate

As sai, your FWB isn't necessarily your friend. You may not have a single intersection in life outside of your business. The reason for this is maybe it'd be easier to call it quits in the future or maybe you just don't want to be involved in each other's life.

Regardless of the reason, you should be able to keep it separate. Quite a few people became to get attached to their partner, even if not romantically. They would start asking to hang out and not for sex only. They'd want to be more involved in each other's life. This can be considered annoying or even a red flag to the partner. After all, that's not what an NSA relationship is about.

4. You fantasize about it

Never keep your expectations up in an NSA relationship. It's a dangerous path to go down to if you fantasize about an NSA relationship. It's not a prince and a princess falling in love the moment when they realize they can't live without each other. More like guy and girl having sex and after a while they fall in love with someone else and the story ends without an ending.

You would only enjoy an NSA relationship if you don't hold any expectations for it. It's never going to work if you put your Disney dream in it. Not having any expectations in any kind of relationship is hard. That's why you need to think about whether you can control yourself and not lash out on your partner if he doesn't live up to your expectations. There shouldn't be any, to begin with. He is never your boyfriend, he might not even be a friend or care about you at all.

Summary

An NSA relationship is attractive for those looking for pure lust and fun. No commitment needed and you can walk away as easily as you come in. However, not everyone is able to keep it separate or maintain their cool once they find out their partner is actually a nice person that they could potentially fall in love with.

If you know yourself well enough, you would certainly find the joy in being in an NSA relationship. But if you aren't the type for it, being in one will only bring you heartbreaks. Whichever type you are, know what just like any relationships, setting clear boundaries is important as well as to set your expectations straight!

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