10 Ways to Let Go of a Relationship That is Toxic

Letting go of a Relationship that is making you unhappy

By AcaciaJ
10 Ways to Let Go of a Relationship That is Toxic

Toxic relationships are, unfortunately, all too common. However, being in a relationship with someone who isn’t good for you isn’t always so easy to leave behind. While it may take some time, you can leave and build a happier healthier life in the process. Here are 10 ways on how to let go of a toxic relationship. 

When is it Time to Let Go of a Relationship?

Sometimes it is clear when a relationship has run its course. However, the case isn’t the same for everyone. You may have lots of bad situations occur where you know you shouldn’t hang on any longer but decide it may be okay because you've worked past it. Despite, you’re still left unhappy and possibly depressed because of the person you love. Here are some signs it is time to leave: 

1. They Show Signs of Insecurity

Insecurity can be quite a detrimental element within a relationship. It can cause lots of negative and draining effects for everyone involved. However, no one should have to endure someone else’s lack of security within themselves. Insecurities can and do cause several problems, slowly eating away at relationships and partners enduring the toxicity. An insecure partner only leads to negative feelings and many problems. An insecure partner can also lead to different forms of abuse which is why it’s best to quickly depart if you find yourself dealing with an insecure partner. 

2. They Are Possessive

Having a possessive partner can and will ruin a relationship. If someone feels the need to have you around all the time without any regards to your life, freedom or emotions, it’s time to let go. This will not only bring you down, but it can cause you to lose other important relationships outside of you and your partners, such as family and friends.

Often when someone wants you all to themselves there is an underline issue within themselves that is the cause. This will only bring about negative feelings within you and ultimately have awful effects on your life.

3. The Relationship is One-Sided

As the old saying goes, it takes two to tango. This could not be truer when it comes to relationships. If you have found yourself carrying the weight of your relationship alone, then it’s time to leave. Most people stick around in hopes their partners will change, only to find years down the road that they won’t. This only leads to wasted time, emotions, and effort. You can save yourself heartbreak by moving on sooner than later.

4. They Haven’t Made the Future of Your Relationship Clear

If you feel you aren’t sure where the relationship with your partner is going, it’s time to reconsider. When in a relationship with someone who truly loves and cares for you, you will never have to question the future. They will make their intentions perfectly clear whether they want to spend their future with you. It should never be a guessing game and if you find yourself playing, it may be time to move on.

5. You Don’t Feel the Same Around Them

When relationships are new, the ‘honeymoon phase’ takes over. Although this phase is said to be temporary, it is possible to continue with a loving and peace-filled relationship. Although it will not always be perfect, it should never cause you to feel uneasy with your partner.


When you begin to feel like you are never happy anymore because your partner makes you feel angry or unnerved due to their actions, it may be time to rethink your relationship. While no relationship is always peachy it should never cause you to feel misery or unhappiness either.

10 Ways on How to Let Go and Move on From A Relationship That Isn’t Working

1. Come to Terms with Your New Reality

Accepting your new reality without your relationship will be tough at first, but it will benefit you in the long run. Sometimes it’s not easy to start anew without the person you love but piecing your life back together is what’s important. Once you can accept moving forward is the best decision you can make for yourself, your new journey becomes much easier.

2. Remember What It's All For

It’s imperative you keep in mind the purpose of your decision. Leaving a toxic relationship helps you find yourself again while regaining your strength as a person. Thinking about what once was can only stunt you and your self-improvement away from your partner. You must remember this is for the betterment of your life because you deserve a loving and fulfilling relationship. If someone can’t provide you this, they should not be in your life.

3. Don’t Place Self-Blame

Blaming yourself for your partner’s actions is not the answer. Instead, realize everything you did in your power to love and care for that person. Give yourself credit and understand you can never change anyone. The only thing we can do is love someone but if they aren’t willing to give that back, they simply aren’t worthy of your love or time.

4. Cut off All Contact

This may be the hardest step in the process, but it is also the most necessary. It’s impossible to move on if you are still in contact with someone you are trying to break away from. Maybe you figure you will talk just one last time for closure. But this is never a good idea. This can lead to your toxic relationship lasting even longer, as you give your partner an opportunity to talk their way out of not leaving you. The best way to handle it is to just go cold turkey, cut the relationship off completely. Block them if you must, do whatever it takes. After all, your emotional well-being depends on it and you deserve to be happy.

5. Communicate with a Support System

When going through tough situations, a support system is essential. It’s tough going it alone so it’s important to remember that you don’t have to. Ending relationships can bring about feelings of being overwhelmed, sadness and even anger. Internalizing these emotions will only cause more anguish and therefore prolong you getting back into a healthier space. So, whether it’s close friends, family, your therapist, or even a hotline ensure you talk to someone about how you feel. Doing so will aid greatly in your getting over and moving past these emotions in a healthy way.

6. Give Yourself Time to Heal

Toxic relationships can drain you mentally and emotionally. Therefore, it’s imperative you allow yourself time to properly heal from the situation. This can help you rebuild your strength needed to move on and start anew. A few things you can do to aid in your healing is pick up some new hobbies or spend time with family and friends. Just be sure to keep yourself busy and focus on your wellbeing as self-care during this time is the top priority.

7. Focus on Your Goals

Working on your goals is an amazing way to get past and move on from a bad relationship. Not only will this help you heal in a very positive way, but you will also prove to your former significant other that you can move on without them. Whether it’s a hobby you would like to pick back up or a new idea you would like to explore, don’t be afraid to put time into your goals. Create a plan of action and work towards it each day, as healing is best when taken one day at a time.

8. Let Go of Any Reminders

This is not easy for most of us, letting go of items given to us by someone we love dearly. While it may seem like a cruel move, it’s only for the best. Maybe these are gifts that were given to you on special dates or just because. Either way, they are still very powerful reminders with emotional ties.

If it’s something costly, you can simply give this back to your former significant other, as this is a better option than throwing or giving it away. Remember to remain firm in your decision no matter what they may tell you. You must continue moving forward and ridding your life of the toxicity.

9. Get Closure

Most may define closure as talking with your ex, face to face about what happened or went wrong in the relationship. However, this is not always the case and may not work for everyone. Looking within yourself just may give you the answers you’re searching for. When you can provide yourself answers regarding your decision making and relationships, you can then do what it takes to make a change as to not continue the same patterns and mistakes.

10. Keep in Mind the Bigger Picture

Throughout the course of our lives, we are guaranteed to meet new people no matter what. So, because your relationship with someone did not work out as planned does not mean it won’t with someone else. You must remember life goes on and the beautiful thing about this is you have the power to control which direction it goes. Just stay strong and continue to work towards healing your wounds. With time, you will gain happiness again.

Examples of a ‘Letting Go’ Letter to Your Partner

Sending a letter of closure to your ex is beneficial for both you and them. This provides closure for everyone involved with the added benefit of not seeing them face to face. Writing a closure letter is not something you have to do but can certainly provide a way for you to get everything you have been feeling off your chest. This is always a great way to extend understanding to your ex while also avoiding any unfair potential disagreements.

Closure letters don’t have to be long, they can be kept short and sweet depending on what you are wanting to say. Despite, it’s very important you write everything you feel, as this is the chance to hold their attention and get them to understand the extent of pain they have caused you. Here are a couple of examples of closure letters:

Example 1

Dear John,

I am writing to let you know I no longer want any part in this relationship. For so long I have given you my all, in hopes I would receive the same. However, you continue to hurt me with your lack of understanding, selfishness, and anger-filled ways. You will not hear from me again, it’s over. I wish you nothing but the best.


Example 2

Dear Jane,

This was very hard to write because I love you so much, but I cannot bear this any longer. Your temper, negativity and toxic behaviors have caused our relationship to become broken. I have always put you first, no matter what. I have cut family and friends from my life and changed myself completely for you. You have done nothing more than cause me grief and anguish. There is no chance of us ever being together again, it’s best I move on. Take care.



When writing your letter, it's important to be sure you keep your side of things front and center. Let them know exactly where they went wrong and why you want to leave. These letters are the perfect way to new beginnings as you close the chapter for once and for all.


No one deserves to be treated unfairly in a relationship. Giving the best parts of yourself and your life to someone means they should want to do the same. While love is not perfect, love should not cause you pain or hurt. When it comes to relationships, you should always ensure you’re getting back what you are putting in, so you can be happy, fulfilled and most importantly, loved.