What is a Lover Relationship: Are you suitable to be in one

Sometimes one doesn’t want to really commit to a proper relationship, but instead, they would want something that is very superficial and does not need much effort either. What kind of relationship would you call this? Nothing serious but still fulfills your heart’s desires?  You call this one a ‘Lover relationship’. This is a non-committed type where there are no restrictions or complications that are bound to happen in a regular boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

You might be thinking it’s the same thing you call a fling, but a lover relationship is more like the mature form of it. It’s actually really casual, you don’t have to be in the constant tension of getting a text from that someone. Instead, you can spend your time any way you deem fit, like spending hours in salons to get the perfect look that you love. All this seems as if you’re single right? But no, a girl needs to satisfy her needs even when not feeling like being in a relationship, which a lover can definitely fulfill.

You might be thinking about some ex or something like ‘friends with benefits’ in which the end case scenario is mostly involving feelings from one side and just ruins the whole thing.

But a lover doesn’t work like that. Instead, a lover knows how to have this kind of a highly sexual and commitment free relationship where the needs of the other are kept in mind, just like friends would do. A lover will support you throughout in your life but still keep you away from the captivity of a regular relationship. And the best part? You and your lover both know that it’s going to end at some point and that’s completely okay.

Here's a little guideline to help you get to this relationship and understand how it works.

The most straightforward way of asking someone to be in a lover relationship with you is, to simply ask. Find someone you’re interested in and ask them out for drinks or something. When you get comfortable enough, talk to them about sex. Ask how they feel about this type of casual and entirely sexual relationship. If the feelings are mutual, then you take it to the next step.

Even if your partner has some queries about the whole scene, just be clear about it. Explain what’s on your mind and how you’ve imagined it in your head. Use the term ‘lover’ as it will imply something old-fashioned, sexy and temporary. Be yourself because you've got nothing to hide here.

Being in a lover relationship does not mean that it’s taken non-seriously. For example simple rules like, your lover is allowed to have sex with other people but it should be protected. Or, your lover should also be available to you as a friend in the time of need or support but it doesn’t have to be that exclusive. Desires like these should be put on the table and discussed. If you both come to an agreement, then you got nothing to worry about.

It’s not necessary that you jump to sex in the first meeting. Take it slow and decide mutually when you want to do this. Select a venue and time accordingly and then plan it. Might need some patience with this too even though your hormones are getting out of control.

After all this, you’re all set. You might have a really good time, if not, then there’s nothing to worry about or feel guilty about.

Giving titles to a relationship might not seem to make much of a difference. But in real life, these particular names do matter. A boyfriend is someone you cannot take for granted. He’ll be there in every step of the way and be involved in your personal and professional life. Ever get in a fight with your boyfriend and that just ruins your concentration at work or studies? That’s how involved a boyfriend is.

A lover, on the other hand, is just a harmless person whose purpose is to give you pleasure and lighten up your mood, without interfering with other aspects of your life. All the things you need from a lover are predefined and will work according to you and your demands.

A lover relationship is not bound by silly aspects like physical features. A lover overlooks, the superficial things like how tall you are, or how skinny you are etc and does whatever he can to make you happy in certain ways.

There’s nothing hidden between you and your lover, after all, you both are committed in your sex lives and need to be as honest and expressive about it as you can. Without being honest in this regard, there’s actually no point. This type of sincerity is often hard to find even in regular relationships.

The constant tension and worrying about feelings and emotions just sometimes ruins the mood. When you express your feelings or maybe expect a little too much from your partner, then things go down the drama road. But a lover is not supposed to thing like that and your relationship is free from all the fights and theatrics.

When your lover is only focused to give you pleasure and happiness, then that’s all they’ll work on. Imagine a person fully committed just for your sex life, the sex game will only rise with that, won’t it?

You don’t need to feel bad about just keeping it to the bed. Your heart and mind would be peaceful that it has already been discussed and agreed upon. All your basic needs can be fulfilled, not having to be shameful about it.

You’ll be shocked to realize how empowering it can feel to have a lover. It’s you who calls the shots, where to meet etc. And you can even meet new people. It’s your decision to keep him at a distance so you don’t have to bear all the things he can annoy you with.

Having a proper relationship with someone is a hassle and takes a lot of time and efforts to make it work. But it’s not always convenient either. If you want a partner but just for the company or have a good time every once in a while, then you need a lover. If you don’t have one, then you’re all you’ve got. It always isn’t very pleasant to be all by yourself at a bar or standing outside a pub because you don’t have a date. Friends can’t do much to make it up to your needs, you know.

There are times when you just need someone to share something, your life issues or just simply want someone around. A lover will make up for everything in a sensual kind of way, and you won’t have to feel lonely all the time.

A lover relationship is not something everyone can embrace or accept. At times, it may be frown upon by older generations, parents, or even friends. Such disagreement may add stress to you especially when they are people whom you care and love. 

As long as you’re happy and feel safe with someone, even though not bound to commitment or getting married, then you and your lover can enjoy each other’s company with the minds at ease. Weigh your options and also be mindful of sharing such an arrangement to friends and family.