Warning: Top 20 Signs You're In A Rebound Relationship

A rebound relationship is in most cases unhealthy. Are you confused if you really are in one? You will know with the following 20 signs.

By Gerald Matiri
Warning: Top 20 Signs You're In A Rebound Relationship

Rebound Relationship Signs

Most people rely on a rebound relationship to numb the pain of a break-up. While it’s true that such a relationship is advantageous in some situations, it goes toxic in most cases. The only time a rebound grows into something amazing is when both parties are aware of the relationship and are on the same page. Entering into rebound relationship is a way of using psychology to get over an ex flame. The sad thing is that you will be dragging your new boyfriend into your psychological baggage while making him believe you are for real. Sometimes you may not even admit that you are rebounding.

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Reasons Why A Rebound Relationship Is Unhealthy

If the original breakup with your ex-lover destroyed you to a great extent, you are more likely to enter into multiple rebound relationships. You will be desperately seeking relief for the tremendous pain caused by your ex. You obviously don’t want to continue feeling the same pain, but rather set yourself free. The bad news is that you will enter into a relationship not because you like this new guy but to ease the break-up pain. You will be playing with your new partner’s psychology. At some point, you will be jumping from one rebound to the next, which is very unhealthy. There are many negative dynamics of such an unhealthy relationship, including emotional dependency; manipulation of one partner’s psychology; risk of sexual exploitation and fear of rejection.

Why Do People Enter Into Multiple Rebound Relationships?

Failure to recover: If you don’t allow yourself to heal properly from a previous breakup, you will be seeking distractions constantly. This makes it more difficult for your new relationship to develop hence it will come to an end after a short time frame. Seeking excitement: Once you get into a rebound relationship, you experience a heightened experience of getting to know your new boyfriend, but only for a few weeks. You will mistake the excitement for feelings in the initial stage, but then it will fade away. The desire to connect: You and your ex-boyfriend had a special connection and it’s only natural that you want to replace it. However, it’s not possible to achieve a meaningful connection in a short time frame and with a new person; so you will be disappointed now and then, jumping from one guy to the next. In your quest to find ‘the one’, you will find yourself in multiple rebounds, all of which will be superficial and void of genuine closeness or intimacy.

For How Long Will You Stay In A Rebound Relationship?

The answer to this question is dependent on two things. One is about your ex - how deep was your love for him? And two is about the new rebound boyfriend - how good he is or if the relationship is appropriate. Your rebound can help you put an end to the obsession you had for your ex in a short time frame. You will feel better about your romantic prospect because you’ve found another appealing boyfriend. Your psychology will tell you that your emotional needs are being met and so you might get over the past. If and only if the rebound relationship is beneficial, your quality boyfriend can replace your ex completely. But if the relationship is toxic, it will backfire within no time. Unhealthy rebound will make you want to go back to your ex instead of staying away from him. If you have a hard time letting go of your ex, you will be unable to invest in the new relationship, making it less beneficial. So, the longevity of a rebound relationship depends on whether or not it is better than your past relationship.

Warning Signs You Are Rebounding

1. You find yourself dating just anyone

If your ex dumped you or your past relationship was a bad experience, it is easier to get attracted to any guy who shows interest in you. Your psychology is in dire need to have an element of love again and that’s why you fall into another guy’s arms almost immediately. The problem is that you don’t take time to know this new guy because you are in a hurry to replace your ex.

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2. Your rebound relationship is moving too fast

As you settle into a rebound relationship, your breakup pain fades away. Your immediate need for emotional support is fulfilled. Nevertheless, when you are all alone, you don’t feel the connection and the emotional pain seems to linger in your heart. Every time you feel disconnected, you will be working hard to make things work with your rebound boyfriend. So, your new relationship will not take its natural course, but will be forced to move forward. So, if you feel that your new romance is escalating more quickly, it is a warning sign that you are rebounding.

3. You are in love for absolutely no real reason

You barely know this guy well enough to even like him. He may be cute, lovable, and all you desire in a man but you start calling him ‘the one’ almost immediately after meeting him. These are the quickest signs that you are in a relationship, but that’s not real. It is only a week and you have already jumped headfirst into a hot romance. Who falls in love with a new person that fast? Unless you are dating the guy you were cheating on your ex with, in which case the relationship is more than a rebound.

4. The intimacy is intense

This is the fun part about a rebound relationship. It begins with a heightened sexual chemistry between you and your new man. In a short time frame, you find yourself enjoying great intimacy in each other’s arms but you don’t know the direction of your relationship. It is a type of casual relationship focused more on romance as opposed to the serious element of true love. It is characterized by tons of intercourse because you want to use it as a means of distraction and feel connected to a new guy. As a rebounder, you claim to be “committed” to your new boyfriend, yet you don’t talk about serious issues - take this as a warning sign.

5. You cannot recall how you got over your ex-boyfriend

If you truly love someone, you will take time to get over them (some girls take weeks, others months). Are you already happy with your new boyfriend and you can barely remember how you managed to forget your ex? This is a warning sign you are rebounding. The thing is you rushed into the arms of a new guy before the last phase of your old relationship came to an end. This is quite a risky move because something profound was left unfinished and it can show up anytime to haunt you during a challenging moment in your rebound relationship.

6. Your friends find it shocking that you are dating again

You tell your friends that you have a new man in your life and they are perplexed. True friends are the best adjudicators when it comes to the choices you make concerning your love life. They can give you unbiased opinions about your old and new relationships. If you see them surprised, it is because you rushed things. They have spotted signs that you are rebounding and believe it or not, your new relationship is not real. Your friends know you better and sometimes they won’t say it to you that it’s too soon to begin a new relationship. Do not be angry at them, but rather thankful that they are giving you warning signs.

7. You show signs of being moody

Do not be surprised if you experience mood swings. It is because your mind is confused, yet your new relationship seems happy. You will be excited whenever your new squeeze is around but depression and confusion sets in as soon as he leaves. The problem with you is that you refuse to admit that you were hurt in the past and try to mimic a brave behavior. Nonetheless, you will be having moments of weakness when you recall the past relationship. According to rebound relationship psychology, this is one of the signs of rebounding.

8. You imagine scenarios involving your ex

If you fantasize going back to the old relationship, it means you have never gotten over him. Maybe you think of how your ex would react seeing you with a new boyfriend or keep wondering if he ever thinks about you. You can lie to yourself that you are over him but as long as the ex keeps popping in your thoughts, you are still in love with him.

9. You show signs of weakness when your ex shows up

If you experience extreme emotions whenever you see your ex or if he says hello in a text, take it as one of the rebound relationship signs. No matter how hard you try to convince yourself that you are not happy, your heart tells you otherwise. The reason you feel sick or weak in an encounter with your ex is due to the feelings you still have for him.

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10. You don’t take your rebound boyfriend seriously

This is one of the biggest rebound relationship signs. Almost always, you feel that the relationship is nothing serious. You got into this relationship for other reasons but love and so you are only passing time. You may not know it but you are actually using your rebound boyfriend and it would be best if you let him know that he shouldn’t expect too much from you.

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Warning Signs That You Are His Rebound

11. He was in a serious relationship less than a month ago

If he just broke up with a long-term girlfriend, what do you expect? He has taken you as a rebound. It is advisable that you proceed with a lot of caution. Why do you think he jumped into a new relationship in a short time frame? But just because he had a girlfriend two weeks ago doesn’t mean you should discount him. Give him a chance and he might take the relationship more seriously.

12. He asks you to be his date in a major upcoming event

In this case, consider yourself an arm candy, let alone his rebound girlfriend. He is most likely to ask you out if his ex will be attending the same event. He has a desire to win by showing his ex that he is “moving on”. The truth of the matter is that he hasn’t moved on. Be careful not to fall for him and do not expect too much if he asks you to be his girlfriend.

13. He often talks about his ex-girlfriend

It may look like he is opening up about his past life by being frank about his ex like he has no feelings for her. Deep down in his heart, he still loves her, that’s why he shares the stories with someone who cares to listen. Rebound relationship psychology relates this to one of the signs that you are someone’s rebound. Whenever he says that all girls are liars, rest assured that he is talking about his ex. This is a warning signal that you should leave unless he intends to take the relationship to a higher notch.

14. He doesn’t take the relationship slowly

If his love for you is true, he would be cautious when taking any chance or rushed moves. But since you are his rebound girl, all he wants is to go at full speed without worrying that he might lose you along the way. If he hasn’t told you this, all he needs is someone to hold him when he wants to be held. He doesn’t seem to seek ways that would make your relationship work but rather ways that will help him get past the breakup pain. Do not be surprised if he asks for a formal engagement, yet he doesn’t put efforts into your current relationship.

15. He is up to making his ex-girlfriend jealous

Has he started posting pictures of you and him in his social media wall? Or does he show too much PDA towards you at a party where his ex is in attendance? He is trying to get back at his ex. In simple terms, he is plain fixated on his ex. Be very careful with this guy and do not take it like some honor that he chose you to get over his ex and nurse the break-up feelings. You might assume that he will soon heal and treat you as the goddess who came to rescue his life, but he might as well forget and put an end to your relationship with him.

16. The rebound relationship is completely empty

Do you sometimes wonder if this guy is too good to be true? His connection with you is abnormally fulfilling even though he is all you ever wanted as a boyfriend. He avails himself emotionally so fast that you start wondering whether he has anything else going on in his life. That feeling is a warning sign that you are in a dangerous situation. More often than not, you will be feeling some emptiness even when you are together. It’s time to run, not walk.

17. A guy on rebound has so little to say about himself

This new friend of yours seems to have no aspirations, goals, or hobbies! Who doesn’t have life goals? Personal interests and objectives are what define who an individual is. But these things disappear when a serious relationship comes to an end and a short time frame is not enough to bring them back. If your new friend has nothing to tell you about his life besides the breakup trauma, take it as a clear sign that you are his rebound girl. It means he is yet to heal. He needs time to re-evaluate himself and know who he really is in absence of his ex, and that’s the only time you two can have a meaningful relationship.

18. He forces expectations on the new relationship

Since he is yet to give up on the things of his past relationship, he will be upset whenever you refuse to do things he was used to before he met you. Perhaps his ex used to text him too much or they used to go to the museum every Friday, and that’s what he wants with you. It is like he wants you to replace his ex completely. Nothing can change if he fails to come to terms that the past is gone. The ball is in your court - do you want to continue with the rebound relationship or not?

19. The interest in a rebound relationship changes

His obsession suddenly switches into a cold distance. His behavior is more dramatic than that of a typical boyfriend. You are caught up in the crossfire of his last breakup in which this guy doesn’t know exactly what he wants. At some point, he will show confused mood signs. It is not that the new relationship is overwhelming, but rather the fact that his ex is still on his mind.

20. There is nothing in common between the two of you

This is very true because all he wants is intimacy and watching movies he used to with his ex-girlfriend. Since the rebound relationship is kind of forced and he doesn’t want to let go, you end up getting stuck with someone you don’t share interests. For your own good, you should find a way to cut off ties and deal with the feelings soon before it gets toxic. Bonding after a bad break-up is good, but creating co-dependency for fear of loneliness is not a good idea. If you continue with the relationship, you will be stuck in a relationship based on nothing except convenience.

Conclusion

The time-frame of a rebound relationship is short because its function is only to help you get back on your feet; after which your rebound boyfriend becomes irrelevant. Your psychology tells you that the relationship is good for you, but you will realize sooner or later that you have been living a lie. On the other side, if you are his rebound girlfriend, the relationship, which seems good at first, will never be fulfilling. That is the reason you must watch out for the warning signs and end it as soon as possible.

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