Awkward Farting: A Needed Social Etiquette No One Teaches

Farting is a normal and natural process, or isn't it? Well, it is and also a basic healthy part of our life. We are designed to let go of the excess gas. But this certainly doesn't mean that you can fart anywhere or in front of anyone.

There are is a huge difference between farting around carelessly and excusing yourself to allow the fart to pass. Yes, there are proper etiquettes for passing out gas and saving yourself from any sort of awkward situation. Socially, farting in public is not considered to be good behavior. 

A civilized person will always find a way not to fart in front of others. It is crushing. Just imagine yourself sitting with your colleagues and passing out gas, all aloud and smelly. What an embarrassing experience that would be for you and everyone around.

They will certainly find it disgusting. One of the most disturbing things is that no one teaches how to fart in a civilized manner. Maybe people consider it to be a private affair and something that should not be discussed openly. Whatever the reason is, it is not justified.

Here, I will help you deal with farting and how to resolve that fart you so want to release in a civil-minded manner.

First of all, let's begin with the basics. Were you ever taught, at any stage of life, on how to fart and maintain decency? Most people would say that they were not taught about, how to pass gas properly. It is something that you cannot control for a long time, as that can be dangerous. In fact, you may have picked up your farting "etiquette" from family and close friends who are comfortable enough to just fart it out.

Holding a fart can lead to abdominal pain, heartburn, indigestion and bloating. Trapped gas inside the intestines can lead to an elevated heart rate and high blood pressure. These are the harmful effects of not passing gas, so stay educated. Never hold your fart. Just find the right method to fart and stay healthy. 

You must be having several questions in your mind, related to farting – the right way. You might even be confused, as I have said that you must not hold your fart and also advised to not to fart aloud. It is simple; you must allow the gas to pass, but keeping mind the social etiquette.

I have the 8 most important questions related to farting, in a civilized manner, for you.

Our farts include methane and hydrogen, which come from the bacteria present in the colon. That bacterium consumes different particles of meal that could not be digested easily. Each fart is different; because the bacterium responsible for consuming the leftover food particles has its characteristics. If you are planning to let gas pass in an enclosed area, you will be contaminating the air. If possible, it is best to go somewhere out and do the job.

If you are on an enclosed train and there are 10 stops more, time your farting such that you can let out through the doors when it stops at a relatively empty station or if you are known for loud but odorless fart, a good time to let out is when the train is rumbling through a tunnel or screeching from applying brakes. No one will be able to hear ;).

Without any argument the best way of dealing with a fart is to, let it pass in an open area where no one is near to you. This will save you from any sort of shame and will also not disturb anyone else. If you are sitting with friends or family, you can move out of the room or that area and pass the gas. Whenever you sense that you are about to fart just get ready to find a secluded spot.

A loud fart indicates that a lot of gas was present in the intestines and it was looking for a quick escape. Sphincter muscles that surround the anus are also responsible for controlling the volume of our farts. Okay so you have made a roar, just say sorry and excuse yourself from that place or you can tell them it was impossible to hold the fart. What’s done is done. You can only apologize now. Make sure that you work on your diet and do some yoga to keep yourself away from any such embarrassment.

Passing a smelly gas is normal. There are certain medicines and food items that can lead to smelly farts. But in some cases, a smelly fart can specify an underlying infection, a disorder or a digestive issue. Check your diet and avoid trigger foods and include probiotics. So, you have made a stinky mess do not worry. If you are in some ventilated area, open the window or door and spray some perfume on yourself or apply some nice smelling hand cream generously, whatever is easily available – just overwhelm your surroundings with a nice smell.

Farting is like an organized crime if you know how to do it strategically. Pass a fart and then move away from that area and let others guess about it. There is a famous saying related to farting; “whoever smelt it, dealt it”. So if you are around your friends do it slowly, that is only if you cannot go out somewhere. And let others deal with it and catch the culprit. Quite cheeky! Around your partner, you need to be careful if you have smelly farts. Otherwise, if you guys are comfortable in farting while being with each other, why not?

That’s something important. A performance or a speech is made in front of several people and you cannot put yourself at the risk of facing public humiliation by making a squeak. Before coming in front of the public do some deep breathing and relax your muscles so that any accumulated gases can escape. You can even try some basic yoga poses to release gas before any important event or gathering.

In any event, you really have to fart before a performance or speech, find a good spot to fart first! It's better to let the fart out than hold it throughout your "d-day" time. What's worst in holding a fart is you may release non-voluntarily when you are halfway through your important time. Isn't that catastrophic?

As I have said above, it is very harmful to your health to hold in a fart. The accumulated gases can lead to various issues if, you make this a habit. In some cases, if you hold a fart for too long it can later get very difficult to get rid of blocked gas. You would not feel like eating and moving and eventually, you will be restless and bloated.

To be honest, controlling a fart during sex and foreplay is very difficult. As once, your muscles tend to relax due to pleasure; any sort of trapped farts will find their way out. But if you know that you have a smelly fart, you can take a break and find a corner to pass your gas. Otherwise, it can be unpleasant. Farting most commonly occurs during orgasm and during that time but hey, both of you are beyond farting ;). Laugh it off at the end of the day if either of you remember about it! 

Smelly farts can be dealt with easily. All you need to do is find the reason behind these smelly farts of yours. Here, I will share a few quick and effective tips that can help reduce those stinky gases.

Eating too quickly can lead to the production of excessive gas in the stomach. It happens due to the additional amount of air swallowed during mindless eating. Eat slowly and keep your mouth closed. It is recommended to sit down and eat food with patience.

While chewing gum, you swallow air too that later builds up and causes excessive smelly farts.

People are sensitive to various food items that can lead to an allergic reaction in the form of diarrhea, nausea, bloating and stinky farts. Complex carbs consist of: starch, insoluble fiber, lactose and fructose that go through fermentation in the large intestine and during this process, different gases are released. Just reduce the quantity of those food items that lead to the production of unpleasant gases.

Excess and smelly gases are also produced due to constipation. When stool remains in the colon for a long time, it starts to ferment in a stinky manner. Just make sure that you exercise regularly, consume ample water and have an adequate intake of fiber.

I hope that you can handle Awkward Farting, A Needed Social Etiquette No One Teaches, in a proper manner now. It is not a difficult thing at all. A proper diet plan accompanied by an active lifestyle can easily help overcome excessive farting. Keep on winding just keep it low and civilized.