How To Reject A Guy Nicely Without Hurting His Feelings

If you want to reject a guy nicely, there are certain things you need to do so you don’t end up hurting him. Find out what you should do it.

By Gerald Matiri
How To Reject A Guy Nicely Without Hurting His Feelings

How To Reject Him Nicely

How do you reject a guy who is madly in love with you without hurting him? You want to put it to an end because this dating doesn’t seem like it’s working for you. What do you do in this scenario? Breaking up with a guy nicely is not easy. Keep in mind that this guy has feelings even if you are calling it quits and you could hurt him. Some men are sensitive to rejection while others are very understanding. How he will react depends on how he has been pursuing you. He might understand and move on or he may need a concrete confirmation that indeed you are not interested.

1. Do not take too long to reject a guy who likes you

If you wait too long, you won’t be able to put the message across in a clear manner. It is not going to be easy and you obviously don’t want to hurt his feelings. You are also protecting yourself; because you still want to look attractive and lovable. If you know there is no chance for him in your heart, don’t make him believe otherwise. He will be devastated when he commits himself only to find his efforts have not borne fruits. He will actually be angry. If you know very well that you are not interested, kindly let him know as early as possible to minimize the possibility of a negative reaction from this man.

2. Prepare for an uncomfortable moment

As much as you don’t want an awkward moment to occur, it is bound to happen nonetheless. You should actually get ready for the worst. What if he asks to take you out for dinner again? Look at all possible scenarios and create hypothetical answers and then you will build up the courage to put the message across nicely without hurting him.

3. Be honest if you want to reject him nicely

Honesty will put you at ease. If a guy offers to take you out but you are not interested, you must be straight to the point and make it clear that you mean no. You don’t have to be rude unless he provokes you and the truth is you don’t need to explain yourself the reason you have to reject him. Don’t lie to him by claiming to be busy or giving him hopes that you might be available next week. That way, he will continue chasing you until you agree to hang out and if he realizes you are stringing him, he will be s disappointed. Telling him you are not ready yet to date is pointless. What if he sees you next week with a new guy hanging out in town or continues to see you on a dating site? He will know that you lied to him and there are various terrible things a rejected guy could do to you, like wanting to hurt you. Be honest for your safety and respect for the guy. Telling him that he’s not interesting or attractive is a bad idea or something like ‘I can’t picture getting intimate with you’ can agitate him and he might get back at you. Rather, let him know that it’s fun hanging out with him but you don’t feel the chemistry, or he is a great guy but you are not interested in him the way he would want. Finally, thank him for the wonderful date and wish him good luck with his future girlfriends.

4. Learn to be assertive to reject a guy nicely

One of the biggest fears you could be having is saying no to a guy and making him feel dejected. Chances are that he will bounce back, turning someone down is hard. So, practice making a sincere and strong affirmation. This is the time to be articulate and tell him nicely that you cannot reciprocate his feelings. You have been kind and gentle for a long time but this time you have to let him know that if he keeps pursuing you, you will get agitated. Of course, he will want to get a reasonable reason why you have decided to reject him. And even if you give an explanation, he will not be satisfied; he will want to know more. You don’t need to feel like a criminal being questioned by police, so just put your message clear without going into details. No answer from you can please him anyway.

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5. How to reject a guy nicely over text

The first thing that happens when you reject a guy is that his ego gets bruised. Some guys don’t show it but the truth is that rejection by a woman overwhelms them emotionally. He might overreact if especially he takes alcohol- this is something you don’t want to see. Not unless he has been your long-term boyfriend, you can break up over text message without hurting him. It is a smart move if you don’t know much about this guy. Note that he will continue to text you to find out why you denied his love. He might even beg you, insult, or blame you. The point is you don’t owe him any explanations or justification. If he sends an insulting text, ignore it because you won’t solve anything by sending back insults- you will only aggravate the situation. If you insult him, he might demean you. Do not reason out with an angry man. He might continue to text you back to make you feel guilty but do not let him change your mind. If you don’t want to be friends, do not let him force you. If he proves impossible, delete or block him and stop reading his messages.

6. Be sure of what to say to reject him nicely

When you think you are ready to reject a guy without hurting him, make sure you know what you want to say to him. Clichés such as ‘this is not about you but me’ should not come out of your mouth. Being honest and direct will help you break up the relationship nicely. Avoid sounding too blunt or telling him meaningless stuff that can cause him pain. Rehearse every word and statement you will say in front of him.

7. Understand his reactions once you reject him

Even after rejecting him nicely, he might feel sad, angry, disillusioned, or insulted. This is very normal like in any other type of breakup. The last thing you should do is to try to comfort the guy as if he is still your lover. Don’t be offensive either. Comforting him will cause drama. What you need to do is to be gentle and crystal clear.

8. You don’t need to apologize when you reject a guy

There is nothing to be sorry about rejecting a guy. It won’t help him or make him feel better, only more miserable. You are not a bad person if you reject a guy and there is nothing you owe him - not a kiss, a date, or any break-up thing he might ask for. Apologizing to him means you pity him and it’s like you want to call out the rejection, making the situation embarrassing. The best way to reject a guy nicely is to make it look like a small deal. You shouldn’t be embarrassed for him.

9. Continue with the friendship .

Sometimes you don’t romantic feelings for a guy but he is simply amazing as a friend, in which case you cannot afford to lose him. Tell him that you cannot go out with him but would wish to continue being friends. This is an answer you can give when you are not sure what you want. Take your time to figure things out; you might change your mind in future.

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10. Act as if his proposal has offended you

Some men are so persistent but very nice at the same time. If he cannot stop chasing you after you said no, sit him down and let him know that his actions are upsetting you. Tell him that he has been spoiling your days by bombarding your phone with text messages. He will stop his incessant proposals if you show him that you are reasonable. There is no reason to come off harshly. Try as much as possible to use polite words such as ‘I appreciate that you are inviting me for dinner, but no thanks. If he pushes back, spell out a plain NO and you will have rejected him without hurting his feelings.

11. Avoid re-initiating communication

Unless you are playing hard to get, leave him alone so he can get himself together. If you have you have been communicating so much over text; put it to rest, otherwise you will be re-sparking his hopes. Remember your idea is to break up without hurting him and if it fails to work a second time, he will feel more miserable.

12. Watch out for manipulation

You already know the tricks men use to get women in tight spots such as buying you alcohol. He knows that if you have too much to drink, you will be left in a compromising situation and you cannot stay firm to your no. He might suggest taking you to his place for dinner in which case saying no to him will not be easy. Beware of these tricks that can easily get you manipulated and pressurized. Tell him you neither want any drinks nor go to his place. You will avoid situations that will make it hard for you to say no. It requires a lot of practice to know how to say no. Confidence is the key. If you learn to make your yes mean yes and your no to mean to, nobody would ever manipulate you.

Final Thoughts

Have you been on a date with a guy just because you didn’t know how to say no? It is totally understandable that you are avoiding a situation that will embarrass him. Nobody takes rejection lightly. There is nothing wrong about you if you don’t have chemistry with a guy and you shouldn’t feel bad about it. We don’t choose who we love, so you have the right to reject a guy, but do it in the most caring way without hurting his feelings. Be classy and compassionate; do not be ambiguous if you want him to take you seriously. Rejecting a guy without hurting his feelings can be uncomfortable, especially if you think you’re compatible. However, not telling him the truth is worse. If you follow this advice, he will recognize that you have turned him down and accept your rejection gracefully.



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