From Good Friends to Lovers: How To’s and Whys
Falling in love with your best friend might be the best for you
Dec 31, 2020
Do Friends Make Great Lovers?
If you’ve caught yourself stealing glances at your best friend from time to time, thinking about them more than usual, and thinking that you might want more but just aren’t sure, you’ve come to the right place. I can answer this question from experience; best friends make amazing lovers. Quite a few studies also show that friendship is a necessary building block of any romantic relationship.
I know making the first move can be tough, and you have all those thoughts cross your mind such as “if I give this a shot and it doesn’t work out, I’ll lose my friend too,” but what’s the point if you never ask, you’re going to end up wondering what if it worked out? What if he/she had said yes? So, rather than putting yourself through that anguish, why not give it a go? After all, what are friends for if not to know your deepest darkest secrets?
Why Is Friendship A Good Foundation For A Relationship?
Friendships are based on truth
Granted that some friends turn out to be snakes, most friendships are based on 100% truth and nothing less. Since friends are always truthful with one another, there aren’t any secrets that can, later on, create problems in the relationship. Relationships often suffer when unknown things from the past resurface; if you’re friends with each other first, that won’t be an issue. You will be in sync with one another, and that will help you guys be an amazing couple.
You're already familiar with each other
Friendship provides you with a nice pressure-free zone to get to know about each other. You get to know the next person for who they are rather than getting to know specific parts of their personality. If you don’t run away from a friend in their worst, you definitely won’t run out on them if the dynamics of the relationship change.
In most relationships, when you start spending time with your significant other, you become familiar with some quirks that ruin the relationship. However, if you start by being friends, there won’t be any unseen surprises along the way, and you can make more serious decisions concerning long term commitment.
What are the different types of love?
There are different types of love between friends, and not all of them have any romantic footnotes. So, before you go around asking your friend to go on a date, you should find out what kind of love the both of you share.
1. The mother type
We all have that one friend who acts like a mother; he/she takes care of us, guides us, and snubs us when necessary. So, before you make a move on a friend, be sure that’s not how your friend sees you because this kind of friendship can suffer a great deal if unwanted advances are made
2. The platonic type
Another type of friend that we all have is the one who treats us like a sibling. You’ll know if you’re this friend because you’ll be treated like family. Everyone in the family will know you, and you’ll be invited to family dinners. So, if you’re in the bro zone, try to keep your feelings in check and move on ASAP. You wouldn’t want things to get extremely weird now, would you? If they do say yes, it's going to be weird in the initial stages and you’ll have to patiently wait till the awkwardness passes.
3. The romantic type
This is the type of friend you playfully hit on from time to time. You guys get jealous when the other hangs out with another girl/boy, you never approve of their partner, and you always imagine your significant other looking like them. This is the kind of friend you can make a move on.
4. The older brother kind
This is the type of friend who always has your back and will be ready to knock anyone’s teeth out if they mess with you. They look up to you and hold you to a higher standard.
Signs You Are Transitioning From Friends To Lovers
The first sign that you might be catching feelings for your best friend is jealousy. If you're never able to like the person they go out with and find yourself wishing that they would break up, the chances are that you're interested in your friend romantically.
This won't be your average everyday kind of jealousy either, you'll want to interfere in their relationship, show their partner you're closer to your friend than they are, and you won't be able to stand them. In short, this kind of jealousy will bring out your ugly side from time to time.
When you start catching feelings for your friend, suddenly being left alone with them won’t be as easy-going as it once was. You’ll start stressing about every move you make and there will be an evident air of awkwardness between the two of you. When this stage arrives, it wouldn’t be long for that awkwardness to turn into sexual tension.
The most significant change that you're going to experience is sexual tension. You're going to want to be closer to them, and you’ll notice them pop into your mind whenever you see someone kiss or make out. You'll start dreaming about them and find them more attractive than you previously used to. Being around them without being intimate will become difficult, and you'll find excuses to touch them.
How To Go From Friends To Lovers?
Try holding hands
So, now that you're sure you want to go down this road, you need to grow a pair and make the first move. Try going with something small so you can see how receptive they are towards the idea. Hold their hand, and if they're comfortable with it, that's a good sign.
Flirt with them
Harmless flirting never hurt anyone. Make them laugh and throw out the idea of you two being together from time to time. Their response will help you navigate your future moves. If they seem comfortable and laughs, then that's a green sign of moving forward and taking the next step.
Ask them out
Asking her/ him out is the most significant step in the process. As scary as it may seem, you need to gather up the strength to ask them out. One thing you should remember is to make them a priority and make sure you keep their comfort in mind. You don’t want to create a whole scene and have them say no.
Show them you care
Last but not least, show them you care. Be there for them when others aren't. Listen to their problems and try to come up with the best possible solution. Even if your solution doesn’t work out, they’ll know that you were there when others weren’t and that is a big deal.
Stages That You Undergo When You Go From Friends To Lovers
The transition from friends to lovers goes through the following stages.
1. Meaningful conversations
The conversation shared between both individuals will deepen. The time once spent goofing around will shift to more heart-to-heart discussions.
Just because the dynamics of the relationship is changing and the individuals aren’t sure of their place in the other person’s life, jealousy and insecurities will seep in. Whoever catches feelings first will jealous when his/her friend is being too friendly to someone else.
If the friendship was completely platonic until one of them fell for the other, the person who caught feelings will test the waters by being a little flirty. If the feelings are mutual, the bond that was once just friendly will now be filled with flirtatiousness and sexual tension.
4. The Conversation
Once the other stages have passed, ‘the conversation stage’ will arrive. This conversation will be the deciding point of your relationship moving forward. When the time comes, both of you will have to be very honest and vulnerable to understand and convey your feeling.
Love or friendship, which one would you choose and why?
Now that you're certain about your decision to act upon your feelings, what are you waiting for? Gather the courage to let them know and get started on your beautiful journey. If they aren’t sure, do tell them regardless of their decision – the friendship will stay intact.