Relationship Phases - How Long Does The Honeymoon Phase Last?
Are you feeling sad because the honeymoon phase in your relationship is over? Here is a brief look into how long the honeymoon phase lasts.
Jul 24, 2018
A committed relationship
You feel on top of the world when you fall in love. Everything under the sky seems beautiful. There is a different gait to your walk and a spring in your step. The first few months of a love relationship are the best. You are always happy in this period and nothing ever seems to get you down. All you can think about all day long is your love. You love being with your partner and you both only have mushy and romantic feelings amidst you. But this phase cannot last forever. This new phase eventually gets over and you enter the next level of your relationship. This new phase of a love relationship is called the honeymoon phase. Every day is not the same and neither can be every day of your relationship a honeymoon phase. You eventually get used to each other, enjoy each other's company and get into a comfort zone. The initial 'cannot keep our hands off each other' eventually cools down and you get into 'regular sex'. This is quite natural and everyone goes through it. What matters is that you are in a committed relationship and that is what matters most. While in the honeymoon phase all you did was to think about each other, you eventually move on to more important things in your life like career and settling down. But you still have each other by your side. A honeymoon phase can be compared to buying a new car. A person looks after his new car with more zest and passion and this same zest wears off once the car is a few years old but that does not mean that the car is less important to him now. Similarly, in a love relationship, after a few years, you get used to having each other by your side. You still love and care for each other but priorities change.
How long does it last?
How long would a honeymoon phase last long largely depends on couples and their love for each other but mostly it has a span of a few months to one or two years at the most. While you are in your honeymoon phase, your brains emit some feel-good hormones which make you feel happy and excited all the time. You are on your best behavior with each other and do not risk saying anything unpleasant for fear of hurting each other or breaking the relationship. The honeymoon phase can be called kind of artificial because one does not reveal one's true characteristics during this phase. Many relationships do not last longer than the honeymoon phase and this is a very sad fact. Eventually, the couples get bored of putting on a false behavior in front of each other. If they particularly dislike a habit of their partner, they cannot be tolerant of it beyond a few months and it is then when the fights and arguments start. Many relationships end after the honeymoon phase wears off but there are a lot of other relationships which survive this change and come out stronger than before. They accept each other's real self now and love each other the way they are. The stopping of the honeymoon phase cannot be described in a single number. It happens very slowly and most of the times, the couples do not even realize it until a very long time. They do realize when they have their first argument or fight but are quick to make up soon after that and land up just like before. But you can determine how long did your honeymoon phase last by analyzing a few factors: * How long did you take to promise commitment to each other? You could be in a casual relationship for too long before you both officially announced a commitment. In this case, your honeymoon phase might be very short as you both have been in a relationship for quite some time. * Determining how long did you take to become very comfortable in each other's company. The moment you stopped being nervous around him or caring about your appearance much, you can say that your honeymoon phase ended. * How often do you meet each other? If you meet each other almost on a daily basis then your honeymoon phase might be much shorter as you will soon get bored but if you visit your bae once a week or twice a month then your honeymoon phase could last much longer. * Are you involved in your partner's family affairs? If you have been going to all their functions and pay casual visits to their parents quite often then the honeymoon phase might be much shorter as too soon you shall see all the good, bad and the ugly of his life. * How would you rate your physical relationship? If you have saved the best for after marriage, then it is quite possible that your honeymoon phase will last much longer. But if you indulge in sex regularly with your love then your honeymoon phase would have a shorter period and probably would be over even before you both tie the knot. If you want to prolong your honeymoon period, then do not have sex every time as it will bore you soon.
How do you know that your honeymoon phase is over?
You have to know that nothing lasts for forever and that every good thing must end to pave the way for something better. If you do not feel as excited as before about meeting your partner then it is obvious that your honeymoon phase is over. If you can hug your partner without feeling sexual desire then probably, you have moved on to the next level of your relationship. There comes a point in the relationship when you know everything about each other and have done almost everything together. It is now that the honeymoon phase is over. You feel bored with your partner because there is nothing new left to know anymore. You don't rush anymore to meet your partner and your heart does not skip a beat as it used to before. It is then that the honeymoon phase is over. You might also start questioning your feelings at this point of time. Many immature people end beautiful relationships because they cannot face this transition period well. They confuse their feelings of boredom with no more love for their partner. They walk away and end the relationship. But it is at this time that one needs to question one's feelings. Is your partner getting boring or is your routine getting boring? To sort this out, you need to plan some interesting things together. If you partner still bores you and you don't find anything exciting in the relationship then probably you should take your call.
How to deal with it when it is over?
It is very necessary for you to question your own feelings after you realize that your honeymoon phase is over. Are you bored of the monotony of your relationship or does your partner bore you now? Is there anything that you can do to bring back the spice in your relationship? You can try the following tips: * Try some new and adventurous ways of having sex. * Plan a vacation outdoors with your partner. * Go out for a fun-filled day with your partner. * Try socializing with some new friends along with your beau. * Give some space and time to each other. * Go on a second first date. * Talk to a friend about your feelings. * Change your home ambiance. * Communicate more with your partner. * Introspect on why you are with your partner. * Do not have any unreal expectations. * Do not get discourages by your conflicts and arguments but use them as a means to know them better. If by following all the above ideas also you don't find your partner interesting anymore then probably you should call it quits. If by making these changes to your lifestyle you find yourself happy with your partner again then probably you were just bored with the monotony of your life.
Accept that the honeymoon phase will not last forever
No matter what you do, you cannot recapture the spark in your relationship. Every relationship goes through this phase and so did yours. The initial excitement in the relationship was a mark of an immature relationship and the current end of the honeymoon period is a mark of a more mature relationship. There is beauty in every phase. Just like you crave your childhood and want to become a child again, the same can be said about this honeymoon period. You know you cannot get it back but you can enjoy this new phase equally. Now is the time to discuss settling down with your partner. You need to discuss careers, marriage, kids and about buying a holiday home. Life is beautiful in every phase and every phase has its own importance. Deal with it maturely. If your partner is perfect in every way and an ideal partner for you then you should not bother about the missing spark in your relationship.
You have entered the next level of your relationship
The next level of your relationship should be about comfort and maturity. Discuss your life goals together. Plan your wedding date and get your partner's opinion on having kids someday. Plan for securing your old age and plan on buying properties and expanding your business. Get into a lot of social groups. Meeting different married couples and listening to their life stories will help you get a better perspective of your own. Try to seek interest in other things while at the same time try to liven up your personal life too. You will feel comfortable with each other at this level and have almost known your partner in and out. This next level can be as beautiful as you want to make it.