Sex 101: Being Sexually Active For The First Time

Read about tips, facts, questions, and things you should and should not do when it comes to being sexually active for the first time.

By Vera Aries
Sex 101: Being Sexually Active For The First Time

Being Sexually Active For The First Time

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Losing their virginity, for many girls, feels very hard and painful. They are afraid of their first time, because they do not know what to expect from it, and the stories told by their peers may depict the first time as a painful experience. The first thing you need to do, if this is you first time having sex, is to be sure that your partner is exactly the one with whom you want to lose your innocence. For every girl, this is an important moment and many girls are waiting for the 'special' partner. Some girls often enter into having sex because they are being pressured by society or their partner.This is a very bad reason to have sex and you should not be part of it. Let the first time be with someone you really love and who shares the same feelings with you. If necessary, wait until you feel complete readiness to do so. When you've reached a decision and when you are ready for sexual intercourse for the first time, consult a doctor or an adequate person about contraception. You must use it. The condom can be purchased at any local store or pharmacy. Before getting into a sexual relationship for first time, get to know your body and find out more about the hymen, because the hymen is associated with the loss of innocence. At the first full interaction, the hymen is broken and some women experience a little bleeding. Other girls don't experience any bleeding at all. Find the ideal place for your first time. Choose a more comfortable place, play music, burn candles, and create a romantic and pleasant atmosphere. Everyone remembers their first time. Some have nice memories, while others do not. Make sure that your loss of virginity is something special and that you do it with a special person. If you are not mentally and physically ready to have sex for the first time, do not do it. It's not a matter of society and pressure, it's an intimate experience and you're the only one who can decide when and where it will be. This is the first time, and you will remember it forever.

Losing Your Virginity

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The first time you go all the way - your first sexual intercourse will feel like a really big deal. You may be worried or embarrassed about how you look without clothes and it will not be pleasant for you to be so naked in front of someone. Everything is natural, and the remedy for these things is good communication with your partner. You need to be relaxed and share your ideas with your partner and the tension will pass. For some people, sex is inseparable from love and relationships. There are people who are waiting for marriage to have their first time, while others do not see a common bond between sex and love. What is important is to feel nice and confident in what you do and protect yourself. This does not mean protection only in the physical field - such as pregnancy and other sexually transmitted diseases. There is also an emotional risk that comes with sex, and that's how you will feel after the first sexual intercourse. So do not have sex only because your friends have already done it and you think that it is stupid to be innocent - you can feel bad after that.

Things You Should Know Before Becoming Sexually Active

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1. Carefully choose who your first partner will be. You want to have a pleasant experience for yourself, so pick a partner very carefully. 2. Do not forget the protection. Do not let anything endanger your first experience. 3. Talk to your mom or to friends who have already been sexually active with their partners. This way, you will be ready for what is waiting for you. 4. Talk to your partner about your relationship. Let him tell you his views on sex and how he would behave towards you before and after making love. 5. Do not be shy of your body, relax and feel attractive. Have confidence! 6. Imagine how you would like your first time having sex to be, but do not exaggerate your thinking so that you do not disappoint yourself in the end if it does not turn out just as you imagined it. 7. Get to know your body before giving someone else a chance to meet it. 8. Do not do anything you are not sure of. Do not let anyone influence you or your decisions.

Questions You Should Ask Yourself Before Becoming Sexually Active For The First Time

Are you under pressure?

When it comes to readiness, it is very important that when you decide to have sex for the first time that it is your decision alone. Don't have sex because your partner has persuaded you that it is time to take the relationship to a 'higher' level, or because you feel pressure from the environment. Like many other things in life, you are doing this only for yourself. If you are not ready to take this step, your partner has to understand that. If he continues to insist, that means that he does not want anything more from you than physical pleasure. Regarding the environment, girls are literally having sex every day. Those who have had sexual experience are considered more popular, while those who are more traditional are being laughed at. But think about it; do you really want to lose your virginity to an asshole in the backseat of his car, just so you won't be teased? Or do you want it to be a bit more special? Do not succumb to peer pressure.

Do you really want this?

If the answer is Yes, then go for it. But, if you are hesitant and the reasons for entering into sexual intercourse are much different from your wishes, then do not do it.

Will you regret it later?

If you know it's the wrong decision and you will later regret it, then you're not ready to be sexually active yet, and it's best for you to wait for a while.

Tips For Making Your First Time A Pleasant Experience

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Choosing a partner

Sex with someone to whom you are attracted to just physically may be a great option for sex for one night, but not for the first time. A person you know superficially and without trust is not a good choice. You will be better off if someone around you loves you, cares about you, and who respects you. A person who looks after your feelings will make sure that the process of losing your virginity is as pleasant as possible. Someone who does not care for you will not pay attention to whether you are hurting, whether you are comfortable, or whether you are ready for the next step.

Choose a comfortable place

The back seat of a car, a club, the side of a building, or a dark parking lot are not exactly adequate places for this act. After getting a little experience, it will be interesting for you to have sex in public, but for the first time it will make you even more nervous and tense. The best place for having sex for the first time is in bed. Find a place where you will feel good and where you will have privacy, without the fear of being caught. If you make a romantic place with a pair of candles or fragrant candles, the atmosphere in bed will be more beautiful.

Pose for the first time

As for choosing a pose, missionary is recommended for the first time. For the loss of your virginity it is not recommended to experiment with other poses. Leave them for another time. The best position for losing your virginity is the pose in which you can feel as comfortable as possible. In the missionary pose you lie on your back in bed, in a comfortable position, and your partner penetrates you. With this position your partner will be able to follow your lead by responding to the expressions on your face.


This is easier said than done, but nerves and butterflies in the stomach are an integral part of losing your virginity. If you relax your nerves and stop worrying about how you look. You will never have good sex if you try to hide your stomach all the time or if you're worrying about if your breasts stand upright. If it's embarrassing for you to get naked, consider whether you're really ready for your first time.


Long and gentle foreplay in bed will help you relax and focus on what's happening. Your partner's touch, smell, and passionate kisses. If the foreplay is drawn out, the less you will concentrate on the very act of joining your bodies, and you will forget about the pain you unconsciously expect. In fact, you may not feel any pain at all.

Tips For Being Sexually Active Without Pain

There are no universal tips or facts that will help you avoid pain during the loss of your virginity. But every girl can make herself feel better by ensuring that she does it with the right partner and not just with anyone. Although the first time is often not physically pleasant for girls, because they feel mild pain during penetration, with the help of these tips you will always be happy to remember those moments. 1. Emotional maturity One of the most important things needed in order to feel free and relaxed is emotional maturity, which is developed with age. Unfortunately, the age limit when some people experience their first sexual encounter is getting smaller. Those that are not emotionally matured, but take such a step, can later experience side effects. 2. Investigate your body The better you know your body, the easier it is to tell your partner what suits you and what doesn't. In other words, do not be afraid to explore your body and study your anatomy. In this case, you can use a mirror, because this is the only way that you can see what your body looks like. Maybe it sounds silly, but this is one of the best ways to get to know your body. 3. Agree to go slowly You may think that you need to move fast in that moment so that you can then continue with pleasure, but you must be careful. This is a moment that you have not experienced before and you will not experience it for a second time. You should try to make it as pleasant as possible. It should happen on a romantic and beautiful evening, and your partner should be aware that he can hurt you with some quick moves. Although there is a difference in pain from girl to girl, it will be over quickly and should not concern you.

Things Not To Stress Over When You Have Sex For The First Time

Bloody sheets on bed

You must already know that girls usually bleed during their first time. This phenomenon is due to the crack of the hymen - a membrane that is at the entrance of the vagina. This bleeding is not the same for all girls, and for some it's barely noticeable. If you are concerned that bleeding will be abundant, relax. Most likely not. In any case, prepare a towel and put it underneath you. The pain you will feel is also individual and depends on your body. Do not worry, it's not as scary as it sounds at all and will pass after a few minutes.

Do not expect anything

A very important point is that you do not have exaggerated expectations. Life is not a Hollywood movie. Studies say that it is not usual to experience an orgasm for the first time, but sex can still be a pleasant experience even without one. Relax and give yourself time and be sure to practice. The fireworks will come eventually and you will enjoy orgasmic explosions.

Facts About Losing Your Virginity

Everyone at some point in life has thought about losing their virginity, but there are some facts that are not well-known. Read the following facts that you should know about when it comes to losing your virginity.

Not everyone bleeds

According to movies and books, the loss of your virginity is accompanied by massive amounts of blood, but the reality is not exactly that. Some girls do not bleed at all and it's okay. It's much easier to relax and enjoy having found out this information, isn't it?

It will not change you

Before you have sex for the first time, you think it will be a magical experience that will connect you to your partner at a much deeper level. But this rarely happens. Although the loss of innocence should be special, you should not expect that you will be changed magically afterwards. You are the same person, you just do not have a hymen.

It takes time before it gets nice

Your first time may not be the best sex of your life. It may not even rank second or third. But one day, you will feel the magic of really good sex. You just need to be patient.

Your partner also panics

Although this may not be his first time, it is still his first time with you. He is afraid whether he will reach your expectations, and he's also scared that you might get pregnant. It takes two to have sex and you're both equally putting in effort. Do not worry, he'll probably panic for the same reasons you do.


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Sex is your personal decision, whether it's the first sex in the relationship or a one night stand with no obligations. How to make sure it's time for sex and that you are ready for that move? Whether you are an innocent, a romantic, or porn star, it's important to be confident in your decisions and be pleased with the situation you are in. We all know that there are no universal tips that apply to everyone, but when it comes to sex and relationships, there are many ways that can help you be confident and have more confidence in decision making. Sex is a choice, not an obligation. Whether you are in a relationship or not, when it comes to sexual activities it should be something that you both agreed to and not something that you do because you think you should do it. You must be aware of the consequences and differences that sexual intercourse can be responsible for: pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. It is crucial that you take care of protecting against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections before having sexual intercourse. Educate yourself and use one of the various methods of contraception that will prevent unwanted pregnancy. While no contraception is 100% effective, keep in mind that condoms are the only means that can protect you from unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. To have a condom on hand is completely OK. Whether you believe in no sex before marriage or if you're a virgin, it's wise to always be ready. Being ready doesn't mean that you always expect to have sex. Carrying a condom shows that you respect yourself and that you are a responsible person. It is important to be ready to talk openly about everything, not just with your friends, but also with the person with whom you plan to have sex with. Greater familiarity with your partner brings a better opportunity for open and honest conversations. If you're having sex for the first time, it's natural to have questions. It is also important that you be ready to talk about your feelings. Emotions and trust are important whether you are in a long-term relationship or not. And that's why you have to be clear about your feelings and expectations when it comes to sexual 'negotiations'. Doing so doesn't mean you'll have unforgettable sex, but it does minimize the chance of being emotionally deceived.


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