How to effectively stop obsessing over someone you cherish
We have all been in a spot where we find it difficult to move on, even if we know it's in our best interest. More often than not, obsession comes as a result of rejection. Let's face it, humans often want things that we don’t or can’t have. And even though we know that being clingy will only do more harm than good, we still hold on to hopeless situations. So if you find yourself in a situation such as this, here is what you are supposed to do:
1. Making new friends can help you forget someone
Okay, so you fell in love with a guy, but he just doesn’t feel the same way. You went all the way to his house and left gifts at his doorstep but he just doesn’t care. You even sent your best friend to talk to him, but anytime your name comes up, what does he do? He just shrugs his shoulders and says he doesn’t want anything to do with you. What you should do is go out and make new friends. Walk around town, go to that barbeque in the park, go chill with your classmates or smoke with your work friends. Doing so will make you forget about the person you are obsessing over. Besides, there are plenty more fish in the sea.
2. Get petty to forget that obsession
An anonymous person once said, “Out of sight, out of mind.” This advice is perfect for people who need to forget a certain someone they can't stop thinking about. So once you realize that the person you are obsessing over is out there having all the fun in the world without you, then you need to do the same. It might be a bit difficult, and that is why you need to go all petty on them. How? It's simple really. Just delete their number or block them (blocking before deleting is my personal favorite method). Do the same on your social media pages and make sure that the person you are obsessing over is out of sight. That way, you won't even remember to obsess over them since they will be out of your mind. Even if that someone you obsess over tries to make contact, don’t give them the satisfaction of responding. Let that good for nothing boyfriend, ex, girlfriend or someone toxic know that you are focused on moving on by any means necessary.
3. Move away from someone you are obsessed with
If someone you obsess over is giving you such a difficult time progressing with your life, it's time to get some space. Being around them will only spark more hurt and negative energy. So if possible, move away from them. If you live close to someone you obsess over, you can get up and go to another place. If possible, move to India, change your identity and open up a curry shop – I once thought of doing that until I found someone who loves me for the weirdo that I am. Make sure that your boyfriend, girlfriend or soon to be ex doesn't have access to you because that will only cause you more pain in the future.
4. Cut off anything that reminds you of someone you obsess over
If that special someone has suddenly made you obsess over them, then it's time to do away with them, including your memories of them. So that hot boyfriend used to take you to the gym for a steamy workout – go to another gym. Oh, so you and your now toxic girlfriend used to cuddle listening to Luther Vandross (may God bless that man’s soul), stop listening to him (and I say that with a heavy heart because if I stopped listening to him I'd die). Your ex used to make the tastiest pie – stop eating pie! Getting rid of someone as well as the memories of the good times you had together will help you forget about him or her.
5. Live in the moment and put that special someone in the past
So that special someone used to make you laugh and then he or she broke your heart. So what? Someone else can make you a hundred times happier. So just chill and make sure that you forget about this, be it your boyfriend, your ex, or your girlfriend. It's better to think about the present and what it has to offer. Always remind yourself that the lessons in the past have made you better – end of story. If you do that, that “special someone” that you obsess over now will fade into the background in a jiffy.
6. Patience helps you forget the one you obsess over
Someone very smart once said that patience pays. Time will always heal you no matter how screwed up a situation is. How do I know that? Because I have been there. Yes, you might think that whatever you are going through is the end of you. But then you realize that it is just the beginning of a brand new chapter and that the person you used to obsess over was just teaching you about your value. So whether your girlfriend is making you feel worthless or your boyfriend is always putting you down just because you obsess over them, then it is about time for you to leave. It might take a lot of time but in the end, you’ll be fine. At one point we thought we would never get over people we obsess over. Look at us now!
7. Obsessing over someone shows that you secretly feel worthless
There is no other way to put this. If you find yourself obsessing over someone, it shows that you don’t value yourself. We have all been there and the only way of fixing this is by doing something that adds to your value. Hit the gym, start that amazing diet, or learn a new language. We all have that one thing that we wanted to do but couldn’t because of a boyfriend or girlfriend who is now an ex (and a thorn in your side at the same time). In order for you to forget him or her, it would be a good idea to do something positive. Doing so will help you forget about them sooner rather than later. Also, focus on reading self-improvement books and you will definitely be on your way up.
8. Open up about the person you obsess over
So someone made you fall in love with them but began ghosting you right after you said those three magical words. Find a friend you trust to talk to about your heartbreak. Someone once said that a problem shared is a problem half solved. So if that girlfriend, boyfriend, or ex is giving you a hard time – talk to someone as soon as possible. Damn, I wonder why these people who came up with these proverbs chose to remain anonymous. But still, we celebrate the relevance of what they said, and you should try incorporating their words of wisdom into your personal life if you are obsessing over someone.
9. See a shrink or someone professional
You need someone professional to help you solve your problem of obsession. You might never understand the problem that comes with being clingy until you talk to a shrink. You see, when you keep on loving and without being loved back, you become emotionally drained and that will damage you. So if you feel like you can't stop obsessing over someone, it's time to pull back and seek professional help ASAP!
10. Meditation over obsession
I know what you are thinking so no, you don’t have to levitate in order for you to meditate. You can do it even for just half an hour every single day and you will be good in the end. Why meditate? Well, meditation is important when it comes to disciplining your thoughts and staying positive. So if that special someone that you obsess over is giving you sleepless nights, then the best option for you to do is meditate and discipline your thoughts. It does take a little bit of practice but once you get the hang of it, you will be just fine.
11. A new hobby might be the remedy
Apart from living healthy, you can make sure that you are adopting a new hobby in your quest to forget that special someone. You can choose to sign up for a boxing class or, even better, a jiu-jitsu class so that you can knock out them the next time you see them. Ok, don’t knock anyone out, I was just kidding! I know you might be hurt or feeling down, but the whole point of this article is getting over someone, not getting a restraining order. Thankfully, there are a lot of hobbies out there that you can assume as long as it doesn’t entail eating or drinking. Indulging in anything negative or damaging will only exacerbate your situation and I wouldn’t recommend that. You are better than that!
12. Find closure even if it still hurts
It might seem like a cliché but it does work like a charm (sorry about the witchcraft vibes I was just making trying to help). If you are done with someone, go to the club with your closest pals and celebrate. It hurts right? Good – what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. So go out there and celebrate the end of being with someone who makes you obsess over them rather than feel loved. When you obsess over someone, it just shows that you are giving them power over you which is wrong irrespective of how you view it. Take back your power and enjoy doing so for crying out loud. Have a celebration!
13. If he/she doesn’t see your value, find someone who will
Your boyfriend, ex, girlfriend, or someone that you obsess over is giving you a hard time? Good – move on to the next person. The trick here is making sure that you are upgrading and not downgrading. Like I said earlier, there is someone out there who will love you for who you are and you won't have to pretend to be something or someone else. That said, you need to ensure that you take your time, find a good person, and then enjoy your new, more loving relationship.
14. Check your vibrations
I always advise my friends to stay away from negative people because they emit unhealthy vibes. Unfortunately, most of them don’t really dig the spiritual thing and it's sad seeing how these vibrations mess up their lives. If you want to get stuck in limbo, then keep on staying at the same place over and over and see what happens to you. Some experts such as Santera can help you out. I don’t want to use the word witch because I don’t want to spook you out. More often than not, a lot of clingy people have been healed and cleansed and their positive energy fields restored.
15. Try traditional medicine
Traditional medicine has nothing to do with witchcraft, flying broomsticks, and dragons. Very skilled healers who know a thing or two about ancient medicine and ways of life, for instance, Reiki experts, can help you solve your problems. More often than not, they use natural healing pathways and can help you find a solution apart from taking antidepressants that will give you other complications. As a matter of fact, I prefer traditional medicine because it has been tried and proven to work. The only precaution you have to take is watching out for a number of frauds who are seemingly all over the place. So if you have a problem with an ex, boyfriend or a girlfriend with whom you are obsessed, they will most certainly help you.
16. If someone doesn’t see your value, it's their loss!
Now when it comes to an ex, a boyfriend, or a girlfriend that has hurt you or made you obsess over them, you need to forget about the pain and focus on who you are. If you are going through this kind of thing, tell yourself this: if you don’t love me for who I am, someone else will. And nothing gets truer than this. No one comes custom fitted for you and so you need to just chill, take it on the chin like a warrior, and live to fight another day. And the operative word here is a warrior, not a worrier. As a matter of fact, the reason as to why you are obsessing over someone like that is because you worry too much. Stop that, realize your worth, and be the best that you can be.
Okay, so that special someone has clearly moved on but despite the fact that you try, you don’t really seem to get ahead with moving on. All you need to do is accept the fact that it hurts and that they aren’t there for you anymore. Acceptance is a very important part of moving on because if you don’t, then you won't let go of the pain. And you cannot kick-start the healing process before you let go of the pain. It might be hard, but reminding yourself that you aren’t the only person in the world who has gone through this kind of situation is a good start. Also, make sure that you are reminding yourself of your worth over and over again until it becomes a mantra. Finally, you won't die…trust me, we have all been there!