Getting over your first love
First love is characterized by a childish innocence and paired with some sort of naivety. Most people get into it haphazardly, not having the slightest clue of what lies beyond. What’s more, it tends to be the priority of the lovers’ life. Remember the first time a guy you liked gave you a hug? Your spine must have shivered and even up to now, you can bring back the memory of how it actually felt. One thing is for sure: you will never feel as sweet as you did that first time he kissed you. He must have been someone you trusted and the two of you intended to go through life as one. What you didn’t know is that the two of you are totally different yet you tried to merge into one. Then came the unfortunate day when you had to leave or he just dumped you. Recovering from heartbreak feels like impossible and you cannot figure a way out of the mess. The pain is incomparable because you have never experienced it before. If this is the boat you are in right now, know that you will be fine unless you continue seeing the heartbreaker. Please do not drive or walk past his home daily and whenever you feel hopeless, remind yourself of the following 10 strategies that will be sure to heal your broken heart.
1) Take time to grieve for your lost first love
It is okay to cry. Don’t hold back whenever you feel like crying. Trying to deny the feeling will only aggravate the pain. You really need a way to eliminate those negative emotions because you don’t need them inside of you. Even though dwelling on the past is destructive, you cannot ignore how your first love felt. Many times, you will be reminiscing moments you had together, but try as much as possible not to over-think. It will save you a lot of pain.
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2) You will not get over him if you keep lying to yourself
You might tell yourself some lies after the break-up such as - texting him once in a while won’t hurt, you will never find another love, no one else compares to him, your life will be miserable without him, you can pass by his house once, etc. The bad news is that these lies will make you feel worse. Just stop lying to yourself. When a point reaches and you feel that it is impossible to get over him, remember that you have only two options: live with the painful feeling and carry the burden forever or get yourself together, find a way to heal and move on. There is not a third choice. Hopefully, you will choose the second option.
3) Do not close your heart if you want to get over it
At first, you would think that there is no one else like him. Really? Think about this, there are tons of guys out there and the greatest probability is that no one matches his exact qualities- physical and inner traits. Perhaps the next guy you hook up with has better qualities than your ex. But due to the grievances you are experiencing, you cannot see the potential in others since you’d rather hold on to what is familiar. Then, you get stuck with what is not familiar. If only you could see the positive side and take the breakup as an opportunity to meet more exciting men! Your capacity to love again must not end after your first love crumbles. In most real-life situations, you never get right the first time and do you just quit? You keep moving on and embrace new opportunities. Similarly, your love life must not come to a halt because it never worked with only one person. Look around and open your heart to love again.
4) Resist the urge to see him
Do not text or call him and much less see him, unless you bump into each other accidentally (in which case you should ignore him). Love is a complex feeling and it makes people do crazy stuff. Scientifically, it produces chemical substances called dopamine, which has similar impacts as those of abused drugs. Would you recommend bhang to an addict who is in rehab? In the same way, giving in to just one temptation of seeing him will bring back the lost love and you will never get over him. And this is why most people have crazy exes because they don’t make up their mind to quit. But, if you can find a way to control the temptations, you will be able to go through the pain much faster.
5) Get busy to get over
Insert here When you are heart-broken for the first time, you can easily find yourself lying in bed all-day-long or drinking yourself up. This can’t be emphasized enough: get out of the house, find some fresh air, and have something to do. If you don’t have a job, try exercises which are good for your physical and mental fitness. An active body releases endorphins, which fight against bad feelings and stress. Remember that you are not the first person to feel this way and almost any person in this world has experienced heartbreak. The first love takes time to build up and that is why it is going to take time to fade away. Do not expect it to disappear in two days and there is hardly a short-cut. That is why you cannot afford to do stay idle because you don’t know how long you will be in that state. Keep yourself busy and never lock yourself up in the house going over the sad things. The sooner you start getting busy the quicker you will ge
6) Block him on your social media sites
It doesn’t mean that you are immature if you block your ex from your social world. It means you care about yourself and let no one tell you that it is a stupid thing. You are being wise. His Facebook statuses will only remind you of him. Simply stay out of his social page. You don’t have to know the next place he moved to or the new friends he is making. This will drive you insane. Just do what needs to be done to stop seeing him as the first thing when you log on to your social media sites. And whenever you are bored, do not stalk him.
7) Love yourself more than you did your first love
Self-love and care are very important during moments of misery. After a break-up, you might neglect yourself and divert your attention to other stuff. Do not be surprised to find yourself installing every dating app you come across on the internet or shop excessively until you are broke. If you find yourself going overboard, it is a sign that you are trying to seek happiness somewhere else. Instead, find joy within you. Check with a therapist, get enough sleep, meditate and live a healthy lifestyle. Make sure that your house is sparkling clean and once in a while visit the spa for a massage. Directing your energy to yourself and your space will build up confidence, and you will heal faster. A broken heart needs to be pampered. In your attempt to get over your first love, keep in mind that you are the love of your own life. If you stay active and practice self-care, you will achieve stability and great joy regardless of the prevailing circumstances. Take time to celebrate yourself; get back on your feet, and within no time, you will get over him.
8) Define your next direction after your first love fails
After splitting with your first love, it is easy to get caught up in a web of rumination where the disappointment doesn’t seem to go away. You will keep asking yourself what happened and think back to those days when you could see the future in his eyes. Forget about what could have been because it will never be. One true way to get past this is to find a new direction and objective. First, accept that you have no control over what happened but you can dictate what your future will look like, without him around to help or motivate you. Do not let your health or school grades slide because he is no more. If you value your athletic side, hire a personal trainer and get back in shape. You will gain so much confidence that you won’t even remember that someone had once made you lose it. If you think the relationship had something After splitting with your first love, it is easy to get caught up in a web of rumination where the to do with your poor grades in school, take on a tutor to save your degree and get back on the right track as soon as possible.
9) Support groups will help you get over quickly
Within your world of friends and family, you can find supportive individuals who can be your life-saver. First love is usually true and very different from other types of love. Support groups will help your emotions heal faster. Take advice from people you trust. Even though you feel disappointed and don’t want to trust again, you will need someone to confide in and tell them the whole story. Your true friends will be there for you and they are the last people you can shut out.
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10) Do not struggle to find closure to your first love
At one point, you will wonder why the relationship never worked out. It is human nature to want to finish off something. It feels bad to start something and then lack the means to complete it. The situation will bother you for a long time. The human brain works in circuits and when it opens one, it must find a way to close it. Therefore, when a true relationship crumbles, the people involved feel that they should understand the factors that undermined it. Acceptance is the key to getting past your first love; closure is the best option.
Did you know that the euphoria established in the first true love becomes the standard gauge for subsequent relationships? Just like every first time you do something, your mind registers the experience in a stronger way than it does with other day-to-day activities. That is why subsequent relationships feel boring, making you even more disappointed. So, you are not sick if you find it hard to get over your first love. You are only human. Remember you are the only one who can help yourself, so make the right move. Since you have read the article and understood, do not just sit and hope for a miracle. Make sure that you do something concerning your first heartbreak. Do not let the negative emotions overwhelm you unless you want to be admitted into a mental hospital. The worst thing you can do is to wallow into self-pity. If there is anyone you should pity it’s him because he lost a wonderful person- you. And for God’s sake, the planet will not stop revolving just because he is no longer in your world.