30 Signs You Have An Insecure Girlfriend & How To Love Her

Nothing probably sulks as being in a relationship with an insecure girlfriend. This piece tells you if your girlfriend is insecure and how to love her.

By Emmanuel Onitayo
30 Signs You Have An Insecure Girlfriend & How To Love Her

Why Your Girlfriend Is Feeling Insecure

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By their very nature, most girls are easy-going and soft-hearted, and only the experiences of life could make them manifest such signs as feeling insecure with a man they love. In other words, your girlfriend feeling insecure is not a congenital disease that she has or a personality disorder. It's most likely her confidence, and child-like trust had been rubbished before. One reason your girlfriend may be feeling insecure is if you have had sex with her too soon than she would have loved or expected. As it is, security in a relationship can only come into play when partners have first given each other their minds and future before sharing their bodies. Where the body is first shared before commitment of mind and future, the most vulnerable partner may just be nurturing some fears. Where the above is not the case, it may be that one partner has caught the other in an affair once. Truth be told, if your girlfriend has ever found you with another woman, it may be next to impossible for her to trust you fully anymore. And insecurity is the firstborn of lack of trust. The signs of insecurity can be subtle especially if it's coming from a girl who's trying to play maturity with you. You, however, need to be very sensitive so you can get to know and then reassure her that she's still all you've got. Check the signs of insecurity listed and how to deal with them.

Signs Your Girlfriend Is Insecure

Each of these 30 signs discussed below is saying one thing: Your Girlfriend is insecure.

1. She Always Wants To Know Who You're Talking With On Phone

You think she's caring or protective right? Well, you'll soon find her ceaseless inquiry worrisome and annoying. She's asking so she might be sure you're not conversing with another woman. Unless you deal with the cause of this needless monitoring, it might just be the end of your relationship. Trust me; you'll get pissed off with this with the passing of time.

2. She Constantly Checks Your Messages and Call History

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It is for the same reason as above that she does this. Because she's insecure and probably has little trust in you, she's not sure you haven't been chatting with another girl or sending love messages while she was away. This is cool with you right? Of course, I know your answer and just pulling your legs. But your girlfriend isn't up for any joke here. She really means business, and that's why you've got to brace yourself up and deal with the situation.

3. She Monitors Your Whereabouts At Every Point In Time

Talk of a secret intelligence gatherer, an insecure girlfriend plays that role perfectly. She keeps an eye on your itinerary to see if you're in any way deviating from what you said you would do. Your girlfriend may even hire some people to keep an eye on your movement, and if for an unplanned reason you get home a bit later than planned, she may stage up a protest.

4. Your Partner Is Jealous

Well, sometimes, we guys want our ladies to be jealous. That tells us they're deeply into us and we've got their hearts. But believe me, the jealousy of an insecure girlfriend can actually sting like a serpent. You can't even smile at another girl, and she'll let it be, No, she must react.

5. You Have To Constantly Affirm Her

With an insecure girlfriend, you have to spend each hour telling her that you love her. She seems not to believe so because just an after you told her how much she matters to you, she still comes back with the annoying question "Do you love me?"

6. She Blows Her Own Trumpet

Self-compliments constantly proceed from the lips of an insecure girlfriend. Without being asked, you would just see her telling you how pretty she is and how nice her gown fits her well as if someone has borrowed your own eyes that you cannot see. Don't mind her; she's just insecure.

7. She Feels Left Out Often

Somehow, she just has this feeling of not being carried along in your plans. She waits till you seek her consent before she can air her views on matters that are obvious and urgent.

8. You're Always Lucky To Have Her

That may sound positive but it's not. It's actually a way she's telling you that you aren't worthy of her. Just imagine how insulting that can be.

9. She's just Too Clingy

This is one of the very obvious signs of insecurity in a girl. She stays so close to you now and then and barely let you have your privacy. At the beginning of your relationship, you want to appreciate this. After all, who would not want his girlfriend to always snuggle up to him and hang around him? But with the passage of time, you would soon discover the real intention behind this gesture.

10. Your Interests Becomes Hers

That sounds interesting in a way, doesn't it? As in, she likes the type of clothing you like; the food you like is also the same as hers and all you cherish, she equally cherishes. That's a subtle but classic show of insecurity. She's doing all that to sell herself to you, and with time, you will get bored.

11. Unannounced Visits

Yes, an insecure girlfriend will come to your place severally without giving you prior notice. Of course, she's trailing you to see if by any means she can catch you with another girl. You may think it's a surprise visit, but it's not. One way to identify insecurity here is to note the constancy of these unannounced visitations. Most special things are not done now and then.

12. She Easily Gets Irritated

If she sends you a text and you don't reply immediately, an insecure girlfriend picks an offense at that. She's already entertaining some unfounded suspicion. Normal jokes that the two of you should laugh over easily becomes offensive to her because she's now taking everything personal.

13. You Dare Not Bring Out Her Errors

With an insecure girlfriend, you'll find keeping your observations and recommendations about her to yourself profitable than telling her. She'll read meanings to the humblest of your advice and take it that you are criticising her even when you mean well. She simply cannot withstand criticism.

14. All Her Advice Must Be Heeded

Whatever advice she gives to you must be followed if not, you don't love her. Yes, insecurity in a girl can be as serious as that. You not listening to her advice must mean that someone (besides her) is teaching you outside, and that, to her, is unacceptable.

15. No More Friends

Don't be surprised she'll cut off all her friends to focus on you. In some cases, this may not be intentional, but her obsession with you and what you're up to may have done that to her. She just forgets completely that she ever has friends.

16. Everyone Except Her Is Wrong

Every of her disappointment stories ends with one theme "They did me wrong." She's never the cause of any dispute and never contributes to it in any way. She only and always a victim.

17. She Reminds You She's Not Your Slave

Most of what parades itself today as feminism is nothing but well-packaged insecurity. Show me a woman who's constantly reminding me she's not my slave, and I'll show you a woman that's insecure.

18. She Overreacts To Provocations

It's not out of place for partners to occasionally step on each other's toes. When it happens, both sides just have to accept it and move one. But for an insecure girlfriend, she blows the issue more than necessary such that a third party may have to intervene before sleeping dogs can lie.

19. She Sounds Apologetic

In such situations where she knows she has overreacted, you see an insecure girlfriend courting your favor in a number of ways just in one day.

20. You Cannot Keep Friends

It's not just female friends she has a problem with; even your male friends are a threat to her. Of course, if you have too many friends, you can be influenced and not have her time again.

21. She's Always Trying To Outsmart You

You think you're in a love relationship with an insecure girlfriend? My friend, you're not. You're in a serious competition. She must let you know there's nothing special in what you're doing. Just tell her you've just achieved a feat and she'll be on her way to break your record.

22. She Doesn't Know How To Lose

If she fails in an endeavor, she becomes retrospective and feels like a mess. Her week can be terrible just because of one perceived error. But who is that Mr. or Mrs. Perfect that doesn't make mistakes? Anyway, in the mind of your insecure girlfriend, her error would give you an occasion to rejoice over her.

23. She's Over-worried On Material Things

Of course, material possessions are her own measure of achievement and she cannot stand the thought of any of them suffering damage.

24. She's Mostly Pessimistic

Insecurity hardly makes a person think straight or positive. You'll see her panic over things that she should not ordinarily and she's always doubting everything.

25. She Is Mostly Unhappy

My kinda dinner!!!!!!! #football #unhappygirlfriend @caramellobitch

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Her thought is soon reflected on her face and if care is not taken, she may develop an ailment on account of that. In a very simple language, what this means is that your insecure girlfriend would not experience peace of mind and that would tell on her face.

26. She May Prevent You Access To Your Family

Are you surprised? Don't be. Women have that non-combative power to make men dance to their tunes. Insecurity can make her not to want you to be close to any of your relative anymore.

27. She Wants To Be In Charge

Only insecurity struggles about leadership or who's in charge. You would constantly notice this in your girlfriend if she's one.

28. She's Not Very Free With You

Except a person is out of him/herself, he/she cannot relate properly to others. There would be the needless fear of others treating them meanly. So, your insecure girlfriend would find it hard to open up to your on the deepest longings of her heart. She'll prefer to bottle up.

29. You Dare Not Express Too Much Joy Before Her

An insecure girlfriend would want you to mirror her. She'll want to make you as insecure as herself. No matter your achievement, she doesn't appreciate you rejoicing like that over it.

30. She Checks Through Your Browsing History

God bless you if she should see anything she considers offensive there. You'll not be spared and the rift that can result in can take weeks to settle.

How To Deal With Insecurity In Your Girlfriend

The key to dealing with insecurity in your girlfriend is to redouble your effort at conveying the "I love you" message to her. She needs to really see and feel that indeed you love her. Again, you have to help her regain her self-esteem. Prolonged internal insecurity does lead to loss of self-esteem. You may want to consider these few pieces of advice to help your girlfriend out of her insecure state. 1. Be very gentle with her. Granted, some of the signs discussed above can be irritating but now that you know what the issue is, You'll have to take things easy with her. 2. Get closer to her physically. This physical closeness should be non-sexual. Snuggle up to her frequently, hold her hands often, hug her and constantly place your hand on her shoulder. 3. Show her that you're vulnerable too by sharing your fears and feelings with her. Constantly seek her opinion on issues that you find challenging as a much as it is possible, carry out some of her recommendations. 4. Don't wait till she starts complimenting herself. Be good with words. 5. Be honest with her. Don't give occasions for suspicion. If you won't make a deal, let her know beforehand.