What's the holdup for?
So, there is this guy you have been eyeing for a long time thinking (and probably yearning) he'll walk up to you one day and ask you out? You know within yourself he's got everything you could ever want in a man and for this, you have waited for several months hoping and probably praying he'll one day do the needful. Your waiting appears to be endless as this guy seems not to understand that you are falling for him earnestly. No blushing girl, its time to make things happen. Yes, everyone is aware of the cultural block surrounding a girl making the first move. It may not be written down in pen and ink, but its letters can be read vividly in our daily conducts. Even with rapid civilizations witnessed in our days, there are still fewer girls asking a guy out than do boys. Nevertheless, you can ask a guy out without seeming desperate. Many guys have opined they wouldn't mind if a girl can be so courageous as to ask them out. Now, you may be telling yourself "But I'm shy," the truth is, you don't need courage as high as a mountain to pass your message across. In as much as you have enough boldness to send your crush a text, you may just be setting the stage right for a relationship between you both.
Take the risk! Ask that guy out now!
It would amount to insincerity to make it look like there are no risks in you asking a guy out. There really are. But you know what? Life itself is full of risks. We take risks every day, sometimes, life-threatening ones. Every time you set out on a journey, do you know you stand the risk of not returning home? In spite of this, you still go out anyway. The good news is that the risk associated with you making the first move is not lethal. You don't have to lose your life or property. At worst, you get a No. And who hasn't at a point or the other suffered rejection before? Even men that the society has made the askers are often faced with rejection from ladies. The truth is, they shake it off and move on. That said, you are asking him out casually over a phone and that means if you are so smart at it, he wouldn't even smell anything desperate hence, no risk. In fact, he may instead, feel obligated. Here are some of the smart ways you can casually ask a guy out over text without him tagging you cheap of feeling you are desperate:
#1. Ask the guy how his day went
It all has to begin with a friendship kind of thing. And one very good way, if the guy isn't totally strange to you, is to casually take and show interest in his welfare. At this stage, you aren't alluding to anything date and he can't see anything desperate in your tone. Your text can be something like this: "Hey, Dan! I'm just thinking of how busy we can sometimes be that we forget to ask after others. I hope I'm not guilty of this already. How has your day been?" See how you have beautifully crafted the message that he doesn't know your intention! Of course, he'll take it as you're just concerned about his welfare but within you, you know it's more than that. You are building familiarity and making ways for a seamless conversation between you both. His response here has a lot to say on every other step you'll probably take. If he fails to respond or he replies with a one-word response, that means you stand no chance. He isn't interested in you in any way. But if he texts you back explaining how his day went, probably with details you didn't even request, girl, you're surely on point!
#2. Ask the guy if he can hang out with you on your common hobby
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This is premised on the fact that you know a little about the guy. Let's say you love soccer for instance and you are sure he likes the game too, you can send the guy a text requesting that you both see a match together one weekend. Consider framing your text this way: "I've missed seeing some nice matches in the stadium lately and I can't wait to watch my team play live again. Would you like to hang out with me?" This sounds more like you need someone to share the excitement of the hour with and not as a lady desperate for a date. And because he too likes the game, he probably would have said yes even before completing the reading of the text. The best approach here is to find out on your own, the hobby of that guy and tailor your request after it.
#3. Send him a text to ask if he'll be free for coffee
Consider inviting the guy for a coffee over the weekend. It gives him all the opportunity and space to ask you out if truly you are on his mind. But you aren't just going to ask him in a manner he'll be suspecting anything, it has to be casual with no desperation. A sample text can read thus: "It is going to be a free weekend for me this week and I'm considering spending some time at shisha(or any destination you're sure he's familiar with), would you be free for coffee?" You know you have to be careful of who you bring to your home so it is not recommended that a guy you aren't too sure of being invited to your place for coffee. However, your choice place of the meeting must be one he can be comfortable to express himself to you.
#4. You've got a program to attend with your friends? Text him to go out with you
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Is there a birthday party, seminar or even bar hopping you plan attending with your friends? Invite him along. In your text, let him be aware your other friends would be there also. He's going to be more relaxed and unsuspecting of desperation and by that, you can get to know each other better. Already, if you have succeeded in getting him to hang out with you on two or three occasions, it would have become easier for you to discuss virtually anything. In each of these times, you hang out, tactfully raise the idea of the two of you being together. You can tease him with statements like this: "Now that it is appearing you may not be asking me out anytime sooner, I think I should just get enough ice creams for myself and stay indoors next weekend" Although you are saying this jokingly and perhaps amidst your friends, you can be sure he got the message. You have thrown him a challenge which he will only resist if he has no interest in you at all.
Each time you send him a text, avoid the following
Don't be nervous
Remember, your goal is to make it as casual as possible. Exhibiting nervousness can lead you to you sending the wrong message or including extraneous contents and details. You aren't asking him to marry you really, so there is no need to panic. He probably would have more to be nervous of than yourself.
Don't pre-empt him
When you send him a text and he doesn't seem to be replying in time, don't send another text pre-empting his feelings. Forbid yourself the thought of apologizing either. Often, it may be that he hasn't read his text messages for a while or he is short of ideas on how best to respond. Be patient. Give him time. But if after a reasonable time he still doesn't reply, you may want to put a call through to him to ascertain what the issue is. Again, put in mind the ground rule, even the discussion over the phone has to be casual.
Don't expect too much
Expectation hurts especially when they aren't met. Asking a guy out either casually or seriously is a game of chance. It can fall either way. To prevent being unnecessary bitter, just take the whole thing as a game in which if you win, you thank your luck.
Don't be too withdrawn to yourself
Of course, your chances of winning this "game" will be reduced if you are a monk-like individual. This is because you must know how to initiate and sustain a conversation with him. Get him talking and laughing when the opportunity presents itself and you are sure to win his heart sooner than you might have expected.
Don't blame yourself
Whatever the outcome looks like, do not put the blame on yourself. You see, you may be tempted to start thinking you didn't do something right. No, if it doesn't work out, the fault is not likely you. In fact, it may not be the fault of either of you. It may just be that the relationship is not meant to be in the first place. Pick yourself up and forge ahead.
The tables are turning and status quo is being questioned. You don't need to sit there and watch your man become someone else's. As a lady, there is nothing bad in you making the first move. Although one would expect that some cautions be taken in doing such so as not to fan public disgust. The text message approach is perhaps, the easiest means of asking a guy out. This is because you don't have to meet him face-to-face. You are not scared of how he looks or reacts. By simply initiating a not-too-serious conversation with him via text message, you can easily win him over to yourself. As a rule of thumb, it would be necessary to first ascertain the type of person you want to ask out by whatever means you choose to. Not everyone is worth the effort. And that is the reason it is advisable asking a guy out should be casual so that you can easily back off if you discover something unbecoming of him. Asking a guy out is not the end of things and as such, you should not be unduly agitated about it. Play with it and you'll see, it's no big deal at all.