8 Effective Ways To Apologize To Someone You Hurt Deeply

If you've hurt someone you care about deeply, it's hard to know how to apologize. If you don't want that relationship to end, though, it's important that you figure out how to apologize to the person you hurt. Here are some examples for you to use to find the best way to say sorry to someone you care about.

Sometimes, when you hurt someone, you forget that it can be as easy as just apologizing to show how sorry you are. No matter how deeply you've hurt your friend or partner, the best way to earn their forgiveness is to remember to apologize as soon as possible. It's vital that your apology be sincere. Saying "I'm sorry," isn't going to be enough. Empty promises won't work either. You need to know how to apologize and mean it, or you'll never earn the forgiveness you crave. When you're apologizing, say what you did wrong and why you realize it was wrong. Never include a "but,..." or list off things the other person has done in the past. This isn't about them; it's about you. You can discuss the other problems later. Right now, you need to apologize without trying to minimize what you did to hurt them by bringing up other problems in your friendship or romantic relationship. You should also apologize more than once. A single apology won't do as much as apologizing profusely to the person you hurt. Think about the people who have hurt you and what they've done to apologize to you. Also, think about what you wish they had done to apologize for a previous situation, but they didn't. Use these things as guidelines when formulating your own apology. You may not know how to apologize, but you can use past experiences with apologies to help find the best way to say sorry. A sincere apology that focuses only on saying sorry for what you did to hurt someone this time and doesn't bring up past problems is the best way to apologize to the one you hurt. Once you've apologized, make sure you keep apologizing, so they know you really do mean it.

The most common apology gift that people love to give is a bouquet of flowers. If you really want to know how to apologize, then you shouldn't send a meaningless cliche gift to someone you have hurt deeply. You want to show the person you hurt that you care, and the way to do that is to send a meaningful gift. You shouldn't send random flowers to someone you've hurt as an apology. A better way to say sorry is with a gift that means something to both of you. Flowers can have meaning. Don't send roses to someone who has never told you that they love roses. But, if you know someone's favorite type of flower and you want to apologize to them, send them a bouquet of those flowers so that they know you listen and you care, and you're not just doing the cliche thing with your apology. Beyond flowers, candy and cards can be really great gifts to give someone that you still deeply care about, and you want to apologize for hurting them. Give them their favorite candy and a card that you wrote yourself, not one of those pre-made ones from the grocery store. That way it's personal, and it shows you care. When you're wondering how to give a gift that means something to the person you hurt, think about things you've done together and things that he/she has told you in the past. Use the same methods you would use when choosing a birthday gift - something that shows you listen and that you care. Sending just any gift isn't going to convey the apology in the best way. You have to use a meaningful gift to let your friend or partner know how much you still love them and feel bad about hurting them.

Actions usually speak louder than words. If you're wondering how to apologize, try using an action rather than just saying "I'm sorry," to someone you hurt deeply. The best way to do this is similar to how to pick a good apology gift. You want to think about things you've done together, places you've been, and things you both like and then plan something to show how sorry you are. One thing to think about when considering how to use an action as an apology is to make sure it's a grand gesture that shows you put energy, time, and thought into how to apologize. Bringing him/her to a fancy restaurant is a cop-out. Planning a fancy dinner at your house, complete with nice tablecloths, candles, and a homemade meal? Much better as an apology. Even if you're not the best cook in the world, the effort you put into figuring out how to apologize will go a long way. You can also try planning a weekend getaway to somewhere you've both always wanted to go, or somewhere you went together before and had a really great time. Revisiting the place where you first met or a place that really means something to your friendship will help set the stage for your apology as well. The most ideal way to figure out how to apologize with an action is thought. Put in thought, and the rest will come together on its own.

Conversation is key to any relationship, whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship. If you're wondering how to apologize, a conversation can usually go a long way. This is deeper than just an apology because it gives you both a chance to discuss what happened, why what you did hurt the other person, and how to prevent the same thing from happening again. A good apology conversation should happen somewhere where you can be alone, but should also be in a neutral location. A private table in a restaurant or while walking through a quiet park will help set the mood. You want privacy because you may end up discussing very personal details that you don't want random strangers hearing. You may also end up yelling at each other and getting angry - this is fine, because it means you're airing out your grievances. Just make sure you push through the hard parts of the conversation to finally end with an apology you're both happy with. You don't want this conversation to happen at either of your houses or in the car because it can feel like it skews the conversation one way or the other. It also can make you feel trapped or make an exit too easy - one of you can kick the other out when things get hard. Being in a neutral atmosphere will give you a chance to discuss how to get past the conversation without an added level of stress. Talking about the situation will help you both to move on from the hurt. It's hard to know exactly what to say, but by conversing with your friend or partner, you're on the right track to an effective apology.

An apology can feel very one-sided when you're giving it unless you figure out how to bring the other person into the scene. The best way to do this is by asking for forgiveness while you apologize. That way, you are giving your friend or partner the option to tell you that your apology isn't enough and to guide you towards what you need to do to earn that forgiveness. You shouldn't ask for forgiveness until you have significantly apologized to the person you hurt. Jumping right in and saying, "Do you forgive me?" won't work. You have to know how to navigate the situation. It'll take a few apologies before your friend or partner will even consider forgiving you, so you have to make sure that you've apologized to your best ability before you even both asking for forgiveness. Once you have apologized profusely, tread carefully. Asking for forgiveness may make your partner or friend upset because it seems like you don't really care about the person. To show them that you do care, preface your forgiveness question with another apology that tells them how much you care about them and want to be able to move past this. Once you've eased into it, your forgiveness question will seem sincere. Don't just call him/her up - or text him/her - saying, "Hey, do you forgive me?" Instead, let them know you're sorry and you won't do it again, and then ask if they are able to forgive you. Chances are, they'll be more open to forgiveness if you're careful about how you ask. If you don't ask if your friend or partner can forgive you, you'll be left in limbo wondering if your apologies worked. Once you've asked if they will ever forgive you, or if they already have, you'll both know where you stand and how to move past the fight.

You are the one who hurt your partner or friend, so you have to figure out how to accept the blame for everything that happened. It's easy to resort to blaming other people even when you know you're at fault. Accepting blame is not something anyone likes to do - and a lot of people don't even know how to do it. It's important that you accept the blame, though, or your apology will never work. An apology that doesn't first accept blame is a half-hearted apology that won't allow the other person to forgive you. Before you can apologize to your friend or partner, you have to accept the blame yourself. To do this, you have to run through what you did to hurt him/her and accept your own part in what happened. You may have said something mean or rude, or done something that hurt your partner or friend like cheating or betraying your friend's trust. Think about what happened and recognize your part in it. Every time you try to blame the other person, remember that you instigated the act yourself and so you are to blame. Once you have personally accepted the blame, you'll be able to properly apologize. The other side of this is accepting the blame in your apology. The person you are apologizing to doesn't just want to hear, "I'm sorry," they want you to acknowledge that what you did was wrong and that you shouldn't have done it in the first place. By including, "I know it was my fault," in your apology, your partner or friend will see that you have accepted responsibility and they'll be more likely to accept the apology. You can't apologize without first accepting the blame. Once you've done that, your apology will be stronger and more sincere, so you are more likely to gain forgiveness.

Not everyone has a way with words. You may not know how to apologize appropriately because you don't know what words to use, or what actions will work best for your friendship or relationship. That's okay! You can still apologize effectively without being a poet or the best planner in the world. You don't have to come up with your own quotes or apologies to say you're sorry if you think it won't be as effective as using something that someone else has written. The thing about using other people's quotes, though, is that it still has to be meaningful. You still have to put in the work to figure out which "I'm sorry," quotes or songs will fit with your relationship because otherwise, it'll feel like a cop-out apology. Think about what you want to say, and then find a quote that says it better than you can say it yourself. There are tons of songs and quotes out there, so you won't have any problem coming up with one or two that fit your situation. You can even edit quotes that you find and like to make sure your friend or lover can see you put in an effort and really thought about how to apologize to him/her. If you're using a song, you can serenade him/her with it by singing along, or simply playing it for him/her and saying you dedicate it to them. Quotes can be written into cards or sent as a text message, or just spoken in person if you want to memorize it. When you don't know the right words, quotes or songs are the best way to apologize to someone you have hurt. Find one (or a few) that fits your relationship and then use that as a supplement to your apology.

Your apology means nothing if you don't change your ways. If you don't include this type of promise in your apology, you're not going to earn your partner's or friend's forgiveness. By apologizing without saying you're going to change, your partner or friend will wonder if you'll ever do the same thing to hurt them again. You have to assure your partner that you care enough to prevent a future fight and also that you really do know you were the one in the wrong in this situation. When you're apologizing, make sure you include that you swear you'll never do the same thing again. This is an easy promise to make, so it would be silly not to include it. Not only does it make you into a better person because you show that you care, but it also assures your friend or partner that you know you were wrong and you will change who you are to make sure you get to keep the relationship that means everything to you. Just saying you're going to be better isn't enough; you have to figure out how to make it true. Taking a look at what you did to hurt your partner and then bettering yourself based on that will really help. If you cheated or you lied, make sure you never do it again, and you always use honesty as the best policy. If it was something else, both you and your partner will feel better if you make changes to ensure it will never happen again. When you're apologizing, promise that you'll be a better person so that your partner or friend knows that you want the relationship to continue and you are truly sorry about what happened. Then, make sure you follow through on that promise so your apology is as sincere as can be.

Apologies are hard, but if you use these examples you'll know how to apologize to someone you hurt in the best way possible.